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Include your oldest in the care for the baby. I know that this actually makes MORE work for you, but it helped us a lot. Have your oldest hold a diaper for you while you change the baby. Ask her to comfort the baby when she's crying, etc.
Don't force her to do anything. Just ask. Don't give her any genuine responsibilities (she's 2, for goodness sake). Just keep her included.
As for potty, etc. Every kid is different. My son needed to remind us that he could pee in the potty. He did so by annuncing it and demanding that we watch whenever he went.
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