tekaweni

Taoism Shit happens.
Buddhism If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Catholicism Shit happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism Send more shit.
Atheism No shit.
Jehova's Witness Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism What is shit anyway?
Stoicism This shit doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten