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Shades · 05-01-2003, 10:53 PM

My two cents, for what it ammounts to:

I'm 24, I'm dating a girl who is 21. I love her. We're both in college. She's an undergraduate in the major that I'm a graduate student in. Sometimes, the problems that she has, the issues that she deals with, I've already been through. I want to help her, but the truth is that she'll work through it herself. Sometimes I feel scared, that what she's going through may not turn out like it did for me, or that because I already think I know what to do that she'll be turned off. Other times, I'm not entirely sure that she fully appreciates things that are eating me.

All this is in a relatioship where our ages are close and we're in very similar situations. My point is that, even if you think it's no big deal, and that you really like this girl, issues are going to come up. Problems that she has will seem trite and unintersting to you. And she will occaisionally feel the same way about things you are going through. You are 25% apart in your lives. This is going to cause problems the deeper you get in with her.

I'm going to add some personal information that may help persuade you. I will guess in advance that you don't want to hear this. I don't blame you. I couldn't find anyone in college either, not in the 5 years I was an undergraduate. I don't know what the problem was, I just couldn't ever seem to make it happen. Now that I'm with the girl that I'm with, I won't let her go. I have to keep giving myself honesty checks, to make sure that I love her and not just love having a girl friend. It's kept me straight for the last six months.

So I think you should ask yourself, do you want to date THIS girl, or do you want to date A girl? I think it's more of the latter than the former.

In the end, it's your heart and your life. It's up to you to save both.

05-01-2003, 10:53 PM	#29 (permalink)
Shades Insane	My two cents, for what it ammounts to: I'm 24, I'm dating a girl who is 21. I love her. We're both in college. She's an undergraduate in the major that I'm a graduate student in. Sometimes, the problems that she has, the issues that she deals with, I've already been through. I want to help her, but the truth is that she'll work through it herself. Sometimes I feel scared, that what she's going through may not turn out like it did for me, or that because I already think I know what to do that she'll be turned off. Other times, I'm not entirely sure that she fully appreciates things that are eating me. All this is in a relatioship where our ages are close and we're in very similar situations. My point is that, even if you think it's no big deal, and that you really like this girl, issues are going to come up. Problems that she has will seem trite and unintersting to you. And she will occaisionally feel the same way about things you are going through. You are 25% apart in your lives. This is going to cause problems the deeper you get in with her. I'm going to add some personal information that may help persuade you. I will guess in advance that you don't want to hear this. I don't blame you. I couldn't find anyone in college either, not in the 5 years I was an undergraduate. I don't know what the problem was, I just couldn't ever seem to make it happen. Now that I'm with the girl that I'm with, I won't let her go. I have to keep giving myself honesty checks, to make sure that I love her and not just love having a girl friend. It's kept me straight for the last six months. So I think you should ask yourself, do you want to date THIS girl, or do you want to date A girl? I think it's more of the latter than the former. In the end, it's your heart and your life. It's up to you to save both.