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I was put in a extremely similar situation. Dated the girl for a long time. A "friend" of mine slowly worked his way in. She almost went for it once, then had a huge revalation and pushed him away and confessed to me. I tried to dump, but didn't have the balls. I forgave and forgot. She claimed she hated him for what he did to our relationship and was never going to speak to him again. A few months passed and I got a long email one day about how she had been talking to him again for the past few weeks. I 'sploded and just got a bunch of "You don't know him like i do, no one knows him like I do" crap. I HATE hearing that from girls. There is a reason "no one knows him like you do." It is because he is being a FAKE TO GET IN YOUR PANTS.
Ahem. sorry. So in short she dumped me for him, came crawling back about a month later. I said not a chance and walked away, haven't spoken to either since. It was arguably the best thing that's ever happened to me. I didn't realise how much of a leash I was on with her, nor how much my life with her sucked until I was free.
So, I'd take at least a bit of cooldown time, but essentially you have to realize things will never be the same. Something as earth shattering as that doesn't happen between friends and then just return to normal.
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"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte
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