|
I can't imagine what you're going through. It's hard enough being so depressed, and still living in a comfortable environment. Comfortable, as being my home state, living at home, having things to fall back on.
I can suggest that you do start to think positively. Play a game with yourself, and pretend that you know things are going to work out alright. Get a job, who cares what it is, just do it. Get that income, get those benefits. The more you do now, that you don't like, the more you'll appreciate what you do next.
Secondly, self-medication. I'm on fluoxitine, a generic Prozac. I still self-medicate through alcohol almost nightly. Simply because I'm lower then I've ever been before. But as I stated, it's a lot easier for me. I live quite a ways from where you are suffering, or I'd suggest we meet. As I have a way of motivating, and inspiring those in need, similiar to a marriage counselor who has been divorced 12 times.
I know what you're going through. I do. I know that others may have a hard time understanding, it's the same as anything else, you cannot say that the fire is hot without ever being burned. So, with that understanding, you have to accept the opinions and criticisms of others, while doing what you feel is best for yourself. To a degree that is, you cannot let yourself fail. You've come so far, do not give up. Do what you need to do to get that job. For those benefits, that paycheck, that self-assurance and security are worth more then anything else right now.
Good luck, and PM me if you'd like to talk. I feel that I can help, if you'd let me.
|