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Originally posted by motdakasha
1) stop invading your wife's privacy
2) if you have an issue with her supposed loyalty, discuss it with her in a mature matter. i wouldn't go for a direct approach, but ask her if she's happy and what things need to be worked on (as a couple) to improve the relationship.
3) there are other ways to look for signs that don't involve illegal invasion of privacy. statistics have shown that when a partner is cheating, they buy themselves gifts (or receive gifts) more often.
4) if you are really intent on going behind her back and spying, hire a professional who knows how to do it legally so that if you need to go to court to prove it, you won't get in trouble.
5) if you are still sexually involved with her, use protection.
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Very good points and suggestions.
I really think that talking to her even deeper- not with accusations, but more of 20 questions to dig deep into her thoughts. Suggest the 2 of you go see a marriage counselor because you feel that the marriage isn't what is used to be. Ask her if she's happy. Ask her how she feels about the marriage. Be open, kind, respectful, and hear her out. Those are my suggestions but you really must determine what you feel is right and good in your heart. Take your time, don't rush to conclusions or decisions until you know for sure. This is a delicate situation. Take care of it as much as possible, instead of damaging it even more. You could also even write a letter to her about how you feel- nothing more, nothing less.