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LutherMac, first and foremost, let me say how sorry I am to hear what you are going through. I don't think there is anything more painful than having your heart pulled through the wringer. I do hope things work out for the best, but something tells me, it will be a tough road for you.
I have been in a very similar situation with the girl I thought I would eventually marry. I tried to communicate as best as I could but it didn't help. The best communicators in the world won't fix a marraige if one party is content on cheating and lying about it. If you are suspicious about something, usually your suspicions are true. I am sure you have done your best to confront her, but she seems to have a history of this type of activity.
The institution of marraige has been completely washed down the drain IMO. Yes, I do believe that one shoul dhave things they keep to themselves, like their past. When you get married, I truly feel that nothing is sacred any more. Communication is key, but withholding a secret lifestyle is only means to the ends.
Good luck my friend. I wish you well in this rough period.
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Doh!!!!
-Homer Simpson
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