LondonsBurning

Your right. I caved in and called again because I wanted to check up on her. We got to talking about things, and I can definitely see a future together being out of the question. I pretty much asked her to make it as obvious as she could just so I could hear it from my own ears and not have to convince myself that. Some things angered me about what she said when we talked about this current obvious issue, and kinda left me feeling as though it's my fault. That's what actually angered me. That feeling because I know I did nothing wrong. At the same time I felt like I was being belittled in her view of our friendship together. She'd mention the longevity of the friendship and say it was important to her but at the same time would give me this impression that it was flimsy to her and only when it was convenient. Actually that's one of things she said really had me confused. That my love for her might just be out of convenience. I don't get that. I don't toss around the world love lightly, and when I try and guess what she meant by it, it just sounds outright insulting. She left me feeling as though I didn't have as many friends as her and that I cling to her because of that, which isn't the case at all. I mean I just don't have any other friends as close as I felt to her. That's the difference between regular friends and her atleast for me. I just feel dumbstruck to know that's how she has viewed me and it really puts a whole different perspective on what I thought our friendship was. I called to check up on her because I cared about her obviously, and felt like making the first move towards salvaging the situation. I think I've done my part and have just decided she can call the next time she wants to talk about it. If she doesn't call, it's for the better as you've all said. The best part of it all is I'm actually willing to accept that now.