She hasn't really dated anyone since I've known her. She's had interests in guys of course but nothing really amounted to it. Inside I would hold my breath everytime, but would try to think nothing of it and be supportive. When she goes out, it's usually with her friends from campus, her other life long friends from way back, or with her family. Despite that it's never stopped me from thinking that it'll always be that way, because it won't. She's a truly beautiful woman with a fascinating personality (maybe biased on my part, but it's true to me atleast
) and there's no doubt in my mind that she'd fall into a relationship sooner or later.
I suppose I could of waited but I felt like I was going to burst if I didn't say anything at all, and when I visited her on Friday with the intention of saying those words I wanted to feel as though I gave it my best shot in telling her I loved her, that way I would have no doubt or regrets about what I said, when I said it, or how I said it. At the same time there's no telling if/when that guy could pop up in her life and how many other opportunities I'd have to atleast have my say about how I felt about her, or optimistically whether I would be that guy that popped up in her life on any given day.
In that sense it was gratifying I was able to say those things to her because I know I didn't waste any more opportunities to tell her.
As far as moving on, I'm trying to. I don't expect it to be a quick transition and in a weird way I don't want it to be. I just kinda want this grace period to reflect on the situation and hopefully move on back towards friendship with her after these feelings I have for her subside and continue to keep my eyes open for other SO interests. I dunno if the feelings I have for her will ever go away, but as long as I know when they become overwhelming for me like this past Friday, I'll just take some space between myself and her and try and keep distracted with other things.
In the meantime I'm just hoping some time and space will bring some stability back in my life and hopefully things will go back to normal. Admittedly even now it's hard to let go of this hopeless hope I've shared with you all already but that's what the time and space is for.
Thanks for the input guys. It's nice to hear different opinions from everyone that's posted.