Quote:
Originally posted by jbrooks544
To me, there would be no excuse for ever being cheated on. While it might be "possible" that I could forgive, it isn't likely. If my S.O. or spouse wants to cheat, then leave first and do what you like. I can imagine no greater breach of trust or disrespect for me as a man. This isn't theoretical, I've been married 17 years.
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I agree completely... and I've told her this many times. If she's ever too unhappy that she wants to move on, at least tell me thats what she's doing, so I don't have to second guess everything that's going on. I'd much rather be broken hearted for lack of love than to find out that she's been seeing other guys for the last X number of years, and finally found a worthy replacement for me.
Quote:
Originally posted by jbrooks544
If she is cheating, then she has broken trust. If not, then move on.
What you do about broken trust is up to you. I can't imagine going on and trusting her again.
It isn't fair for you to be expected to just go on living and not know for sure. If she is cheating then you need to confront it directly, not live a lie or dance around it like it doesn't exist. That is no way to live - it isn't honest and avoids meaningful relationship and meaningful communication. If she is cheating on you, the "why" is secondary, made irrelevant by the fact that she has broken trust (if that is what has happened).
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This will be the 3rd time in our lives that she's broken my trust. IF something is going on, and I found out about it... its definately over. I just want to have a paper trail for why its over when her family starts hating my guts for leaving.
I really don't want to have to live this way... can't stand the idea that I really don't know what or who to believe. I just wish I'd listened to my gut when it happened the first time... and just broke it off entirely... I feel like I've been too forgiving.