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Two words...keystroke interceptor!!!
Marriage is a contract between two people. It involves love and trust freely given by both parties. You can't stay married for the both of you...find out where she stands by spying...then confront the situation in yourself (decide if you want to try to save the relationship). Then confront her with the proof as well as your decisions.
This tact provides both the evidence and the outcome.
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The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury 
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