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Old 02-29-2004, 01:56 PM   #54 (permalink)
EruptiveDreamz
Crazy
 
Location: Good Ol' Iowa.. Home of The Hawkeyes
Can you remain faithful in cyber space I thought this artical kind of fit. It would bother me if my man quit being interested. Matter of fact I was involved in a relationship where a man I lived with became more interested in porn and his self satisfaction than satisfying me. I can't say a problem like this can't be disscussed and perhaps worked through. The problems between him and I were more than just that one particular situation with pornography...just happened to be that situation was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. He was also an severe alcoholic in which I yes pissed in whiskey when I left him as our last fight was over the cable cord and who messed it up on the same day as my father had passed away..in which he had unhooked to take the vcr with his porn upstairs. How retarded to think that was the last fight we had but completely in my mind justified as the reason for leaving him. And I don't regret pissing in his whiskey.

I would much rather have my man interested in porn than cyber sex and/or another woman. I would find it very erotic and sexually stimulating to find him perhaps erect when I came home and wanting to fuck. I would rather be included than left out. I would rather find away to be a participant than not be one at all.

I get nervous when I think of the man I am involved with, yes online and him coming here to start a new begining between us as I know he veiws porn on the net and yes he veiws it here as well. So what do I do? Become a exhibit poster. Why not? Least I am putting myself out there as a reminder to him and myself that my life isn't going to stop so either take my needs in to mind or I am sure I can go forward cause look I still have what it takes and other people are interested. Only bad thing is you run into a thread like this and hope you aren't the butt of someone elses problems.

The nice thing about the net is that is very easy to find sites that have a group of people that fit your lifestyle and can make you feel as tho you are worthy and attractive in someones eyes .. bad thing about the net is just like I tell my man, I won't nor will I feel I have to compete against the net. It is far bigger than reality and far easier to gain access to more than just my everday reality in this one little town I live in that makes up such a small portion of the internet and world. I refuse to beat my head against a wall when it comes to the net. Either show me he is attracted to me and here to meet my needs or go. Life does not stop. I ain't got time in life to play like that. I feel I am far better than that period.

As far as paysites go.. okay so maybe one or two. But if he is going to pay for a site at least let me know. I feel if I live with the man I have a right to know where, yes my money also involved in household expenses is going. You wanna pay for a site at least let me know and I best be able to have access too. Tell me if you went the store and decided you wanted to take "your" money you "earned" and not buy him supper that night and decided to spend it on something you wanted because "you earned it" .. tell me he wouldn't be mad to think he wasn't eating and having figure out how to feed himself that night because his tatsebuds may have been teased with the assumtion of you cooking. Well same diffrence. If he quits having sex with you cause he likes his palm best, he is leaving you to figure out how to feed your own needs and in that case there is a huge problem because you know what? I just may find I like what I can do for myself better than he can do. Tables turned. What a bitch that would have to be to have the reality they put you in slap them in the face in return.

But you know thats just my veiws and thats just based on a small portion of what I actually do know and I wish the best to anyone having problems and would much rather hear a good out come than a bad one. And for God sake don't let me be of any influence. This is just me personally. Been thru enough bullshit. I know what I want from life and a relationship. Took me along time to know I am worthy of what I ask for and that what I do ask for isn't alot.
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