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telekinetic 12-19-2007 11:25 PM

What do you grab when something goes bump in the night?
 
You can vote multiple times in the poll, so feel free to check if you would like to have something you don't have. For maximum accuracy, read on before voting!

Two part question, and can be answered by all members, weapon nuts and not.

1. You are in bed tonight. At 4 AM, you hear a window break. Tonight, exactly how things are right now, in your current state of readiness, realistically, what do you bring with you to investigate the noise?

2. It's now the next day, and a kid had just tossed a rock through your window and run off. However, now you're actually worried, and you purchase something to bring with you to investigate bumps. What would your ideal weapon for the purpose of disabling intruders be, without considering price (that civilians can legally own)?



My answers:

1. I have a .38 ACP semi auto in the nightstand that gets carried with me when the wife says "what was that? Go check on it!" She chuckled the first time that I brought it with me, to which I said "OK, either you think it's something, in which case I'm gonna be pretty useless confronting 'something' naked, or you think it's nothing, and I don't have to get out of my warm bed. Which is it?"

2. If I had one, my go-to would definitely be an 18" barrel tactical 12-gauge. I'm not in a very high risk area for home invasions, or I'd have already purchased one.

Fire 12-20-2007 04:31 AM

Is that a .38 super? I have heard they are powerful, but have avoided them cause of lack of easily available ammo, and price of most every platform that fires it- kinda niched a racegun anymore.....
myself, I grab a revolver, which one rotates based on mood, but often its a ruger speed six, one of the relatively few chambered in 9mm, favored cause it uses moon clips and is "revolver reliable"....

dksuddeth 12-20-2007 06:22 AM

I voted for the flashlight AND a pistol. always like to see what I might need to shoot.

jewels 12-20-2007 10:23 AM

Nothing.

If I've been stalked recently and feel unnerved, I sleep with my best butcher knife under my pillow.

Guess I was used to having a big, bad dude there to do the dirty work. :|

ironpham 12-20-2007 01:05 PM

Honestly, I've never even thought about getting some sort of weapon for such a situation. I guess I always figured I called drop kick the hell out of whatever it was that got me up. And my drop kicks hurt.

Willravel 12-20-2007 01:16 PM

I grab my junk. One has to have priorities.

Honestly? If someone breaks in I'd just shout out, "You have 10 minutes before I call the police. I've not seen your face, so please take what you want and go." If he wasn't in there to steal, I'd attempt a physical attack, given the opportunity. That's so rare, though, that it doesn't make sense to plan for. Like a lighting strike or zamboni attack.

telekinetic 12-20-2007 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
I grab my junk. One has to have priorities.

Honestly? If someone breaks in I'd just shout out, "You have 10 minutes before I call the police. I've not seen your face, so please take what you want and go." If he wasn't in there to steal, I'd attempt a physical attack, given the opportunity. That's so rare, though, that it doesn't make sense to plan for. Like a lighting strike or zamboni attack.

So if a window breaks, you're going to yell your little message through your bedroom door, on the assumption someone is in the house? Or is this your way of saying "Nothing or flashlight"

Willravel 12-20-2007 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
So if a window breaks, you're going to yell your little message through your bedroom door, on the assumption someone is in the house? Or is this your way of saying "Nothing or flashlight"

It's a favor to both me and the idiot breaking in. If he has a gun, then I don't want him to see where I am and I don't want to give him a reason to use it. Him taking my crap is fine with me if the alternative is him opening fire. If he doesn't have a gun, then he doesn't want me to come out and break every bone in his body. It's about accepting that there are serious risks involved in a home invasion and finding the best and most safe solution.

Besides, I have triple pain windows that would take gunfire to break and dead bolts on all the doors. The best way into the house would be to break into the roof, so I'm not all that concerned.

Luke Cage 12-20-2007 08:25 PM

I would grab my pillow and bite... hard.

Or maybe get the cricket bat out and get all Shaun of the Dead on somone who is unarmed.

Or get the 1851 Walker Colt out if I wanna go all Fistfull of Dollars on his arse.

Or get the blowtorch and pliers and call up some headcracking niggas to go medieval on his ass.

Or just grab the shotty and make a huge mess.

Plan9 12-20-2007 08:52 PM

Honestly, I don't know what firearm I would utilize against a zamboni attack.

roachboy 12-20-2007 09:14 PM

sunglasses.

Plan9 12-20-2007 09:21 PM

While she's deceiving me, she cuts my security
Has she got control of me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades; oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades; oh no
You got it made with the guy in shades; oh no


...

Somebody inform me: What is up with this home invasion / magic handgun fetish?

The American handgun fetish amuses me. They're "sidearms" for a reason.

The handgun is primarily a defensive tool used as a backup to a primary piece.

By "defensive" I mean when you don't have a long gun readily available.

Concealed carry? Handgun viable. Home defense? Why not use a long gun?

Handguns are what you use when you can't get to your shoulder-arm.

A semi-automatic Bushmaster 9mm AR15 carbine with a rail-mounted flashlight makes a rather handy home defense piece for nervous surbanites who might be inclined to have such a firearm. It is extremely lightweight (carbon fiber, can easily be fired single-handedly if necessary), is a shoulder-fired arm (more accuracy, RoF, range), shoots the extremely common 9mm ( even +Ps) from 30 rnd stick mags, and can take most of the common AR family accessories such as sights, optics, stocks, rails, grips, etc.

Willravel 12-20-2007 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roachboy
sunglasses.

Man, you really are The Dude. That's awesome.

"You mean coitus?"

Fotzlid 12-20-2007 09:54 PM

sic the dog on 'em

moot1337 12-21-2007 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke Cage
Or get the blowtorch and pliers and call up some headcracking niggas to go medieval on his ass.

This is after the shotgun blast to the nads, and before you steal his chopper, right?

Anyway, I'm working my way up presently :D

Used to be just a good flashlight, now is a flashlight and a 9mm Steyr S9 - a superb pistol.

But as Crompsin said, pistols are best used to fight your way to your rifle. Therefore, a rifle is next - the Kel-Tec RFB, if things work out right on its development. I'm saving my pennies $.$

And, after that's purchased, I'll probably look into a Remington 870 or Saiga 12 gauge - shotguns are the ultimate home defense tool :thumbsup:

Plan9 12-21-2007 08:23 AM

Oh, man... I had a Steyr M357 and that piece was a sex machine. I sold it to a buddy after Afghanistan and I really miss it now. Such a comfy, solid design.

...

Remington 870 Express is $300 if you shop right. Priority? ALWAYS have a flashlight and ALWAYS have your cell phone. Tactical safety as well as CYA liability protection.

telekinetic 12-21-2007 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
While she's deceiving me, she cuts my security
Has she got control of me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades; oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades; oh no
You got it made with the guy in shades; oh no


...

Somebody inform me: What is up with this home invasion / magic handgun fetish?

The American handgun fetish amuses me. They're "sidearms" for a reason.

The handgun is primarily a defensive tool used as a backup to a primary piece.

By "defensive" I mean when you don't have a long gun readily available.

Concealed carry? Handgun viable. Home defense? Why not use a long gun?

Handguns are what you use when you can't get to your shoulder-arm.

A semi-automatic Bushmaster 9mm AR15 carbine with a rail-mounted flashlight makes a rather handy home defense piece for nervous surbanites who might be inclined to have such a firearm. It is extremely lightweight (carbon fiber, can easily be fired single-handedly if necessary), is a shoulder-fired arm (more accuracy, RoF, range), shoots the extremely common 9mm ( even +Ps) from 30 rnd stick mags, and can take most of the common AR family accessories such as sights, optics, stocks, rails, grips, etc.

I guess I didn't consider carbines when making the poll. Unless I lived on a farm, or had way more sturdy walls than I do, I'd be VERY hesitant to discharge any rifle cartdridges in my house, due to over penetration.

However, even considering carbines, at home defense ranges, I'd rather be throwing buckshot than a rifle round. If I'm going for something shot from the shoulder, it's going to be a scatter gun, not a slug thrower.

Plan9 12-21-2007 09:07 AM

One definition of carbine = lightweight pistol-caliber shoulder arm.

9x19mm (9mm Luger) is a popular pistol round. No duh, right?

Think of a carbine as a "big pistol you shoot with both hands."

Hence the Bushmaster, Keltec, and Marlin models available.

Fire 12-21-2007 11:09 AM

there are quite a few experts that dislike long guns for use in ones home, even carbine sized pistol caliber models- this due to the advantage of having a hand free to do stuff like use a phone, and the fact that a long gun is much easier to snatch, and harder to move around with it- not such a big deal if your weapon has a light, and a lot of carbines are much shorter than anything available before , but still something to consider - If you are military trained with a carbine its probably better to use what you know, and I am not sure if all the experts have thought of all the angles now that pretty much everything has a tac rail and a folding stock- I still would not want to try to clear a house with grandads goose gun though.......

777 12-21-2007 11:20 AM

Personally, I'm the last to worry about something that goes bump in the night. I do keep a small LED flashlight my pocket, but if someone is sneaking around the house, that would be a bad idea, since what ever went "bump" will see me coming. If it happened outside, rather than inside, I may just go back to sleep.

Anyway, I know Kung Fu, some Tae Kwon Do, and I keep a black cane nearby that makes for a great baton. So what ever went bump had better watch out.

telekinetic 12-21-2007 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
One definition of carbine = lightweight pistol-caliber shoulder arm.

9x19mm (9mm Luger) is a popular pistol round. No duh, right?

Think of a carbine as a "big pistol you shoot with both hands."

Hence the Bushmaster, Keltec, and Marlin models available.

Oh, I know what a carbine is. I was saying, I didn't include rifles because no sane person would be flinging .223 through his house, and I had forgotton about carbines when making the poll.

I was countering with, although a carbine has some advantages (and disadvantages, though less numerous and more arguable ) over a pistol, I would still prefer a shotgun over either.

willynilly 12-21-2007 07:58 PM

First off, the dog will wake up barking his head off. Then I reach for the Beretta 40 cal in the nightstand. At that point, if I see someone and they aren't hellbent for the door or or trying to dig a hole through the floor and begging for their life then they are getting shot to death.
Anyone who invades a house with a person present and continues to stay there has given up their right to life. If you invade a person's last area of refuge then the implication is that you are willing to confront the homeowner and inflict violence. Therefore, you die. That is family, that is life, that you threaten by your very presence. Bang, and bang some more until you stop moving. No messy lawsuits here.

noodle 12-21-2007 08:09 PM

First, I grab my SO.
Then he grabs me, because inevitably, he's been sleeping hard and awakened the same instant as I have.
He grabs his pants and the 12" carving knife from the kitchen.
It's working for now.

Baraka_Guru 12-21-2007 08:14 PM

The first thing I'd grab would be reality.

But, in a worst-case scenario, I'd probably grab the medium-sized houseplant we have on a table next to the bed. It would be interesting to see what flying dirt, metal, and shrubbery could do in a darkened hallway.

After that, I'd go apeshit, which wouldn't be pretty. I'm half Irish, half French, which pretty much means I fight dirty (especially when drunk) and only surrender if it will save lives (WWII) or after I've already had a good run at it (Napoleonic Wars). But, then again, the Irish side will likely just carry on until I get what I want, or until I'm dead.*


*The sooner of the two.

JStrider 12-21-2007 08:46 PM

.45 auto 1911 by my nightstand loaded with the federal hydra-shoks, a big kuhkri machete is under the nightstand, and not far away in my bedroom closet is my AR-15 .223 ...

The AR isnt really considered for self defense... dont want to be throwing .223 rounds through the apartment walls.

moot1337 12-21-2007 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Oh, man... I had a Steyr M357 and that piece was a sex machine. I sold it to a buddy after Afghanistan and I really miss it now. Such a comfy, solid design...


I'm liking you more and more, Cromp... great sense in defense, and you've even got good taste in small arms :D

The Steyr S series is indeed very sexy, especially for concealed carry... no sharp edges to snag on anything. The M-A1 series is even sexier for all other purposes... the rail can be pretty handy I imagine, and virtually all the kinks have been worked out - even if you run into one, SAI in Georgia will take care of everything lickety split. They're the definition of customer service :)

By the way, in case you're interested in another, CDNN bought all the previous importer's stock when they switched earlier in the year... they're selling em off at $339 + s&h now, brand spanking new. I'm going to have to snag myself one before they run out :thumbsup:

Is too bad they only have 9mm and 40cal though... I could sure go for a .357!

Plan9 12-21-2007 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
But, in a worst-case scenario, I'd probably grab the medium-sized houseplant we have on a table next to the bed.

Would it say something ironic like: "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!" ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by moot1337
*Steyr pistol fan digression*

Warning... SUPER DUPER INITIAL-PART-OF-RESPONSE THREADJACK GO!

Moot... flattery is confusing. Yeah, I know a few things about firearms and their use. I'm very sane and do everything in my life with moderation. Defense of myself and others was quite literally my job for four years and I won't lie: I got to be pretty good at it. What I won't do is get into any "I'm-the-expert" pissing matches with any self-proclaimed badass... I've served my time in hell. Humility is the distinguishing quality in those who've experienced and those who blow hot air out of their face-mounted assholes.

The Steyr S series were too small for my taste, the M series was a perfect compact pistol IMO. Small, heavy slide, awesome ergonomics. My M357 was "just right" as a small pistol will full-size power. Man, the barrel axis was WAY LOW and that thing was an absolute tack driver with any ammo brand. Sexy!

I like .357 Sig lots. .357 Sig is a potent sleeper cartridge that'll never do well commercially but has many excellent qualities. .40 is the future, I figure.

I don't like the new MA1 models. The addition of the standard rail was nice (and logical) but I really loathe how they did away with the Garand-style safety and how they altered the pistol grip. The easy-to-use manual safety and the loaded chambered indicator on the back (so you could feel it with your thumb) that pistol better than a Glock or XD... hands freakin' down.

Thanks for the CDNN tip. I've bought a lot of crap off them over the years. I might snag a .40 from them so I have another .40 for my years in fed LE.

/threadjack

Quote:

Originally Posted by fire
there are quite a few experts that dislike long guns for use in ones home, even carbine sized pistol caliber models- this due to the advantage of having a hand free to do stuff like use a phone, and the fact that a long gun is much easier to snatch, and harder to move around with it- not such a big deal if your weapon has a light, and a lot of carbines are much shorter than anything available before , but still something to consider - If you are military trained with a carbine its probably better to use what you know, and I am not sure if all the experts have thought of all the angles now that pretty much everything has a tac rail and a folding stock- I still would not want to try to clear a house with grandads goose gun though.......

I don't wanna play that asinine game of "my kungfu is better than yours" but... why not? Discussion and debate turn me on.

CARBINE vs. PISTOL - READY? FIGHT!

Carbines are just big pistols. It shoots the same rounds as your pistol (sidearm), and often can take the exact same magazines (Keltec, Beretta, Marlin). It weighs slightly more due to receiver / barrel... but not enough to be unwieldy with one hand. The Keltec Sub-2000 and Beretta CX4 have proven to be easy one-handers.

Carbines have three points of contact on your body as you move and shoot with 'em. The firing hand, supporting hand, and the shoulder. This means more accurate fire, more stable fire, and makes you capable of faster shots due to recoil dissipation directly into body.

Carbines can be equipped with a sling that allows for easy one-handed manipulation by pushing the weapon away from the body a la "MP5K PDW."

Carbines have a large capacity magazine option, can mount a flashlight, and electronic optics, thus offering that increasing grab-just-one-thing option. Don't forget to tape your cellphone to the folding stock, though. :D

...

The modern carbine is almost always superior to the pistol in home defense situations. What is not superior, 99 times out of 100, is how it is improperly utilized. Poor tactics. All of this is quite irrelevant of course... as a warrior smith, you already know this: Training makes the warrior, not weapons. The tools change, the man doesn't.

As Baraka_Guru, my new age Canadian Jesus, has said in this thread... I like to grab reality before I ever equip myself with crude tools that man has invented to solve the infinitesimal number of life problems that cannot be resolved by a good man with a cool head.

Threads like this make me kinda sad inside. I'm not sure if I can explain it.

Tophat665 12-22-2007 08:42 AM

If I hear bump in the night, it's a cat. If I hear barking in the night, then I pay attention. If I hear voices, then it's unarmed. Short of a firearm at range, I am confident that my size, strength, and training would make life miserable for anyone who tried to attack me. I would expect to go to the hospital after, but I would expect them to go to the morgue. (Not internet tough guy - honest assessment of training.)

Slims 12-22-2007 10:46 AM

I make sure I have access to something.

Plan9 12-22-2007 10:48 AM

Deployment? You sleep with a M4! Hahah... only thing that goes bump in the night are those Chinese mortar rounds tapping at the FOB.

Strange Famous 12-22-2007 11:21 AM

if someone was fucking around with my motor or something I'd just take out a 3 foot length of copper pipe that is lying around behind my bed.

is that a "melee" weapon?

Not Right Now 12-22-2007 05:15 PM

Mainly Fists, Shins, Elbows, and Knees.


I do own a blade though. I mainly use that for work however.

MSD 12-22-2007 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
Oh, I know what a carbine is. I was saying, I didn't include rifles because no sane person would be flinging .223 through his house, and I had forgotton about carbines when making the poll.

.223 overpenetrates soft targets and drywall less than most pistol rounds.

Fire 12-23-2007 06:41 AM

With respect, a website called box o' truth tests various rounds against a, well, box, which is set up to simulate a variety of different wall thicknesses and constructions- in one of their tests they tried .45, 9mm and .223 - the .223- the .223 blew through most everything, and penetrated far more than the pistol rounds- its a neat site, and if you have not checked it out, its a nice real world analysis of what stops bullets ( by the way, not much does ) Vs a standard household wall, most every round is going to go quite a ways.....

highthief 12-23-2007 08:11 AM

Sleep with a PR-24 side handle baton next to the bed - basically, a police night stick.

Slims 12-23-2007 08:18 AM

I am paranoid enough to keep a gun ready back home, so I sure as shit have one here.

Kaimi 01-01-2008 12:35 PM

I don't know about you guys, but I would grab my telephone and hide under the pillow.

Barstool 01-02-2008 03:08 AM

RIGHT NOW - I am sleeping in a guest room in my parents house. Due to having a 14 year old child present, my shotgun had been rendered a hammer (it's unloaded, ammo packed away where the young'un can't get it). So I guess I grab a Louisville slugger and go to town.

Normally, I have a loaded, unchambered 12 gauge within arms reach of my bed. When things go bump in the night, it'd be the first thing I grab if necessary. Failing that, I have a metal bat and a big Mag lite.

I'd eventually like to get a pistol, but those are expensive. :(

Tophat665 01-02-2008 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaimi
I don't know about you guys, but I would grab my telephone and hide under the pillow.

That first part is probably the right answer. The second part, well, if you're willing to write off the contents of the rest of the house, then, that's cool, but when the contents of the house include the wife & kids, you worry about the kind of fools who would break into an occoupied house.

genuinegirly 01-02-2008 07:06 AM

A pillow. I'm pretty sure that's what I'd instinctively grab. How a pillow fight would chase away intruders, I have no idea. But that's what I'd most likely go for.

Kpax 01-14-2008 12:31 AM

I might've cheated on the poll. I checked flashlight and "I would like to get a pistol."

The other night, the most harmful thing I could find were a pair of kitchen scissors... It was nothing.

I've never grabbed a gun and went to investigate. I've grabbed an airsoft pistol, and I used to have a Swiss knife stuck in the bedpost of my bed, to quickly fling at a person if they barged through the door.

telekinetic 01-14-2008 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kpax
I might've cheated on the poll. I checked flashlight and "I would like to get a pistol."

The other night, the most harmful thing I could find were a pair of kitchen scissors... It was nothing.

I've never grabbed a gun and went to investigate. I've grabbed an airsoft pistol, and I used to have a Swiss knife stuck in the bedpost of my bed, to quickly fling at a person if they barged through the door.

Nope, no cheating, there's two sections on purpose. :thumbsup:

Nimetic 01-14-2008 01:53 AM

I'll normally wait a bit, in case it's just an animal.

After that, if I'm sure, I'll reach for my glasses. Next would be a T-shirt, if I think I'm going to leave the house.

Heck. These days I'm fairly relaxed. I confronted a neighbor while wearing just boxers and a t-shirt. Guy was hitting his girlfriend in the street. Anyways... that wasn't much fun, I was freezing after the first few minutes.

Plan9 01-14-2008 05:05 AM

Yeah, that's a given, bro... never "go to war" without your pants. Stomping boots and a shirt are a good idea, too.

SSJTWIZTA 01-20-2008 03:43 PM

I usually unscrew the handle off of the bush-broom that always seems to be next to my door when i hear odd noises...even though i do have sevral shotguns, a few rifles, and a pistol.

Tully Mars 01-20-2008 04:28 PM

Speargun
 
Currently living in Mexico and firearms are a big no no. So I keep my dive bag open with my spear gun on top. Going on five months and so far the only thing I've shot with it is some grouper.

ottopilot 01-20-2008 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Honestly, I don't know what firearm I would utilize against a zamboni attack.

fucking zambonis.

funydjane 01-20-2008 06:44 PM

Nothing. Certainly never anything that can be used as a weapon.

Manic_Skafe 01-21-2008 06:20 AM

Usually this:

http://www.mikesfalconry.com/images/...ts/gk555sm.jpg

Plan9 01-22-2008 01:51 PM

I'd recommend a blunt instrument over a knife, Skafe.

Think of your upholstery.

Tophat665 01-22-2008 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
I'd recommend a blunt instrument over a knife, Skafe.

Think of your upholstery.


A bassoon, for instance.
http://web.band.nd.edu/catalog/images/bassoon.JPG
If it doesn't knock them out, it will confuse the suffering fuck out of them and give you a chance to hit them again.

MSD 01-22-2008 10:00 PM

Living in the second safest municipality in the country (2007,) when something goes bump in the night, I tend to grab whatever part of myself I whacked on something in the dark and try to keep the swearing down so I don't wake anyone.

Plan9 01-23-2008 05:11 AM

Well, hell... I live right outside one of the most dangerous areas in the US for violent crime and the first thing I grab when I get jarred alive unintentionally are my balls. After a little self-love, I roll over and get the flashlight and the Mossberg 590 if the sound of breaking glass and crowbar-on-door-jamb persists.

I figure self-defense is like any part of being a good, prepared human. Ya know, just like keeping that spare roll of TP in your sock drawer or condoms in all of your travel bags. Plan ahead of time. Have different options. Practice those options so they're both second nature and you're actually good at them should the dark day arrive when you have to utilize your mad urban ninja skillz to neutralize some home-invadin' godless commie bastids.

...

I think the US should have mandatory baseball bat ownership. Everybody must own one... and qualify with it every quarter in a watermelon-smashing range.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665
A bassoon, for instance. If it doesn't knock them out, it will confuse the suffering fuck out of them and give you a chance to hit them again.

HAHAHA! Yes, yes!

Excellent choice! I also recommend the Skip-It (TM) as the preferred child's toy to be utilized as an improvised home defense tool. I think if you hit them right, you can keep track of how many blows you've landed with that little three-digit counter located on the side of the spinny portion.

SSJTWIZTA 01-23-2008 11:21 AM

a skip-it, lmfao. thats rich.

i remeber those, they seem like they could do some damage.

Hain 01-24-2008 12:47 PM

I still have a 3'-long crowbar that I keep for special occasions, then there are two baseball bats, one wood and the other aluminum, that are hidden behind an open closet door.

Willravel 01-24-2008 12:49 PM

I don't see the option to grab "the breasts of the person sleeping next to you" up there. That's a shame.

Plan9 01-24-2008 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
I don't see the option to grab "the breasts of the person sleeping next to you" up there. That's a shame.

I do that regardless of a call to arms. I got hands like that kiddie prize claw game at the mall.

ENolaReve 01-24-2008 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Well, hell... I live right outside one of the most dangerous areas in the US for violent crime and the first thing I grab when I get jarred alive unintentionally are my balls. After a little self-love, I roll over and get the flashlight and the Mossberg 590 if the sound of breaking glass and crowbar-on-door-jamb persists.

I figure self-defense is like any part of being a good, prepared human. Ya know, just like keeping that spare roll of TP in your sock drawer or condoms in all of your travel bags. Plan ahead of time. Have different options. Practice those options so they're both second nature and you're actually good at them should the dark day arrive when you have to utilize your mad urban ninja skillz to neutralize some home-invadin' godless commie bastids.

...

I think the US should have mandatory baseball bat ownership. Everybody must own one... and qualify with it every quarter in a watermelon-smashing range.



HAHAHA! Yes, yes!

Excellent choice! I also recommend the Skip-It (TM) as the preferred child's toy to be utilized as an improvised home defense tool. I think if you hit them right, you can keep track of how many blows you've landed with that little three-digit counter located on the side of the spinny portion.

This post made me laugh for quite sometime, keep up the good work Cromp, your posts are always entertaining.

Plan9 01-24-2008 02:29 PM

Hey, I live to serve.

Tophat665 01-24-2008 04:22 PM

It just occurred to me that the large sizes of the Graffix Brand of Tubular water pipes for use with Tobacco (of course), are seated in a high impact ceramic cylinder, about the size of a straight sided pub pint (for stability). If one's firearm, broadsword, crowbar, cricket bat, katana, knobkerrie, godentang, guisarme-volgue, bassoon, Kukri, baseball bat, lawn darts, shuriken, flamethrower, ill tempered mutant sea bass with a frickin laser beam in its forehead, battleaxe, nail-gun, Mongolian Death Worm (dwarf), or similar implement of destruction were out of reach, a firm smack in the chops with a campbells soup can full of concrete on the end of a three foot length of acrylic tubing might discourage many a nocturnal marauder, and, if you had some suitable tobacco on hand as well, you would be in great shape to ameliorate the adrenaline crash inevitable after delivering such a tolchock.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Hey, I live to serve.

I knew it! You're Martina Navritalova, aren't you. Fess up, Crompsin!

troit 01-24-2008 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
I don't see the option to grab "the breasts of the person sleeping next to you" up there. That's a shame.

What the f*ck is this world coming too?

Hats and bats, baby.. hats and bats...

MSD 01-24-2008 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665
It just occurred to me that the large sizes of the Graffix Brand of Tubular water pipes for use with Tobacco (of course), are seated in a high impact ceramic cylinder, about the size of a straight sided pub pint (for stability). If one's firearm, broadsword, crowbar, cricket bat, katana, knobkerrie, godentang, guisarme-volgue, bassoon, Kukri, baseball bat, lawn darts, shuriken, flamethrower, ill tempered mutant sea bass with a frickin laser beam in its forehead, battleaxe, nail-gun, Mongolian Death Worm (dwarf), or similar implement of destruction were out of reach, a firm smack in the chops with a campbells soup can full of concrete on the end of a three foot length of acrylic tubing might discourage many a nocturnal marauder, and, if you had some suitable tobacco on hand as well, you would be in great shape to ameliorate the adrenaline crash inevitable after delivering such a tolchock.

I think a hookah would be the last thing I'd throw at an intruder. Going over your list, I might have to bring the lawn darts in from my car, though.

Tophat665 01-25-2008 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
I think a hookah would be the last thing I'd throw at an intruder. Going over your list, I might have to bring the lawn darts in from my car, though.

Not a Hookah. Just a cheap date. :) Seriously, though, It's essentially a 2 1/2' long high impact acrylic tube with a nice heavy hunk of cermaic Resin at the end. Practically a Mace.

Now there's a thought - nobody uses Mace or Liquid Knuckles or the like for this sort of thing? (I understand where you wouldn't want to use pepper spray in your living space, but aren't some of these concotions designed for indoor use?)

MSD 01-25-2008 09:58 PM

[QUOTE=Tophat665]Not a Hookah. Just a cheap date. :) Seriously, though, It's essentially a 2 1/2' long high impact acrylic tube with a nice heavy hunk of cermaic Resin at the end. Practically a Mace.[quote]
Just going by what I saw on their site. I probably wouldn't want to whack anyone with a bong, either.

Quote:

Now there's a thought - nobody uses Mace or Liquid Knuckles or the like for this sort of thing? (I understand where you wouldn't want to use pepper spray in your living space, but aren't some of these concotions designed for indoor use?)
Give me pepper spray that will incapacitate an attacker or intruder reliably without risk of blowing back in my face and I'll use it. As it is, pepper spray just tastes good in chili.

Plan9 01-26-2008 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
Give me pepper spray that will incapacitate an attacker or intruder reliably without risk of blowing back in my face and I'll use it. As it is, pepper spray just tastes good in chili.

Amen. That stuff is often just as dangerous to the user as it is to the victim. Ask any cop that's had to use it before. The foam variant is better than the mist type, but not by much. Stick with a baseball bat if you're squeamish about firearms.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665
I knew it! You're Martina Navritalova, aren't you. Fess up, Crompsin!

No, but I'd hit it: GRR, BABY, GRR!

funydjane 01-26-2008 06:25 AM

Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

Plan9 01-26-2008 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funydjane
Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

Sure, I understand your opinion.

Too bad criminals often carry weapons (blunt instruments, knives, guns) or operate in groups when breaking into homes that may be occupied (purpose of this thread).

I did the math and it turns out bringing your just your fists to a gunfight doesn't end well most of the time outside of Jet Li movies.

No item is worth getting killed over, but sitting idly by and letting someone pillage your house when you could (first call the cops) scare them off with either a warning or a confrontation is a little cowardly. I'm a male dinosaur and as a male dinosaur I feel it is my duty to protect my wife and children even at the risk of my own life.

Home Invasion Philosophy:

My family is in this house I've worked my whole life to pay for... I'll be damned if I cower under the bed like a sissy bitch and let some punk kid damage it until the cops show up. I won't take any chance of them coming upstairs and hurting my loved ones or myself. I will make the first move in an environment with which I am very familiar, my own home. I will have the element of dynamic surprise on my side. I will be slow and purposeful and have an offensive defense. I do not want to hurt anybody, but I will if I must.

...

Hey, we can all talk about the odds that it'll never happen, sure, but if it ever DID happen... I doubt shuffle-stepping, ninja-wishing, or praying will do much.

Tophat665 01-26-2008 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
Just going by what I saw on their site. I probably wouldn't want to whack anyone with a bong, either.

But it makes the best sound effects. Adam West used to light the bad guy up with a BIFF, SOCK, POW, or ZOWIE, but once in a while it was a BONG! Can't find a picture on the internet, mores the pity.

Having made a cursory survey of what's available in waterpipes these days from overseas and DEA honeypot sites, I can safely say they don't make 'em like they used to. I do remember waterpipes that I would use for self defense with confidence. Like I said, 2 1/2 or 3 (even 4) feet of quarter inch acrylic sunk in a family sized soup can of concrete to stabilize it on the floor.

/ Ya' ever long for the time when you used to be nostalgic?

Quote:

Originally Posted by funydjane
Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

My Wife. My Girls. My Dog. My Self respect.

Barstool 01-28-2008 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funydjane
Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

:shakehead:

Possessions are just things, I agree. But when it comes to the safety of the ones I love, I will GLADLY put my life on the line to end the life of my would-be aggressor.

PoweredByPorn 01-29-2008 12:17 AM

Right now it's just my boots (size 15, steel toe) and a baseball bat.

But I plan on eventually getting a pump-action shotgun with a barrel-mounted flashlight. I specify pump action because the sound of the gun being cocked is enough to make most would-be intruders shit themselves on the spot.

Plan9 01-29-2008 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoweredByPorn
But I plan on eventually getting a pump-action shotgun with a barrel-mounted flashlight. I specify pump action because the sound of the gun being cocked is enough to make most would-be intruders shit themselves on the spot.

Cha-ching. We have a winner.

Scorpion23 01-29-2008 08:45 PM

Right now I have a Glock 19 loaded with Glazer fragmentation rounds to avoid over-penetration. I wouldn't mind getting a nice 12ga though.

And of course my expanding collection of Cold Steel throwing knives :)

Zooksport2 02-02-2008 03:56 PM

send the wife.... she could overpower a bear....

.

Plan9 02-02-2008 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion23
Right now I have a Glock 19 loaded with Glazer fragmentation rounds to avoid over-penetration.

Glaser Safety slugs? Mini-BBs compressed in oil. Hydrostatic transfer. Oooo.

Dude, you should check out Triton Quik-Shok ammunition. Prefragmented rounds. It's like stabbing somebody three times with one shot. Zero ricochet.

Scorpion23 02-02-2008 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Dude, you should check out Triton Quik-Shok ammunition. Prefragmented rounds. It's like stabbing somebody three times with one shot. Zero ricochet.

Wow, those are nice. My clip right now is loaded with two Glazers followed by HydraShoks, but I might change them out to the Quik-Shoks.

Plan9 02-02-2008 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion23
Wow, those are nice. My clip right now is loaded with two Glazers followed by HydraShoks, but I might change them out to the Quik-Shoks.

HydraShoks are a great choice. After seeing Quik-Shoks, I'm totally sold on 'em. Idea of causing multiple wound cavities with a single hit out of a .45 handgun is really appealing. Not only do you get the mass of a .45 slug hitting your target... upon impact the frangible slug breaks off thrice and tears through the torso like a burst of .22 rounds.

MSD 02-04-2008 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funydjane
Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

According to the British Home Office's 2006 crime statistics report, when robbery victims are injured, the rates of injury compared to reaction to the robbers are

Resisting with a gun 6%
Did nothing at all 25%
Resisted with a knife 40%
Non-violent resistance 45%

How does having a gun make me more likely to get hurt?

Plan9 02-04-2008 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
How does having a gun make me more likely to get hurt?

Maybe using weapons hurts their soul... :oogle:

Tully Mars 02-04-2008 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
According to the British Home Office's 2006 crime statistics report, when robbery victims are injured, the rates of injury compared to reaction to the robbers are

Resisting with a gun 6%
Did nothing at all 25%
Resisted with a knife 40%
Non-violent resistance 45%

How does having a gun make me more likely to get hurt?

I think having a gun and not knowing how to use it or finding you're unable to preform makes it more dangerous for you. Having a gun, knowing how to and being able to use it makes it more dangerous to the intruder. I worked in law enforcement for 18 years. Never met an officer that did not keep a weapon at the ready in his or her home.

And considering your numbers indicate:

Did nothing at all 25%

Are you sure those numbers are British and not French?

Baraka_Guru 02-05-2008 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD
According to the British Home Office's 2006 crime statistics report, when robbery victims are injured, the rates of injury compared to reaction to the robbers are

Resisting with a gun 6%
Did nothing at all 25%
Resisted with a knife 40%
Non-violent resistance 45%

How does having a gun make me more likely to get hurt?

It would be interesting to see more statistics on this. Do the stats above include home invasions, or are these robberies in general? Another picture:

Weapon involvement in home invasion crimes
[...] Between June 1 and August 31, 1994, Atlanta Police Department reports were screened to identify every case of unwanted entry into an occupied, single-family dwelling. Cases of sexual assault and incidents that involved cohabitants were excluded. Results.-A total of 198 cases were identified during the study interval. Half (99 cases) involved forced entry into the home. The victim and offender were acquainted in one third of cases. A firearm was carried by one or more offenders in 32 cases (17%). Seven offenders (3.5%) carried knives. In 42% of cases, the offender fled without confronting the victim. Victims who avoided confrontation were more likely to lose property but much less likely to be injured than those who were confronted by the offender. Resistance was attempted in 62 cases (31%), but the odds of injury were not significantly affected by the method of resistance. Forty cases (20%) resulted in one or more victims' being injured, including six (3%) who were shot. No one died. Three victims (1.5%) employed a firearm in self-protection. All three escaped injury, but one lost property. Conclusion.-A minority of home invasion crimes result in injury. Measures that increase the difficulty of forced entry or enhance the likelihood of detection could be useful to prevent these crimes. Although firearms are often kept in the home for protection, they are rarely used for this purpose.

longbough 02-19-2008 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funydjane
Do none of you realise bringing a weapon makes you much more likely to get hurt? What possessions are worth getting killed over?

Unfortunately someone who is reckless enough to do home invasions is as likely to be a rapist. I work with level 4 inmates and the rapists among them have victimized as many as 5-12+ unarmed women before they were stopped - And those numbers are only the ones that they admit to. More often than not they were stopped by someone fighting back - often with a pistol.

Trust me - bad people don't fear cops as much as they fear an armed victim (that or a house with a big dog in it).

urbandev 03-04-2008 02:42 AM

Rule 1: Locate significant other, pets and other loved ones immediately. as you don't want to shoot your kid in the face for slipping in past curfew.
Rule 2: If you plan to bring a weapon, make sure you know how to use and are willing to use it, and don't become a victim of your own weapon.
Rule 3: If they are escaping, let them...that was the original goal, right? chances are they wont be returning.

I haven't had a reason to use it, but i keep this and a 6 cell mag lite under the edge of the bed:
http://www.urbandev.net/mossberg3.jpg
Holds 7 shells,
2 Blanks - Urine inducing
2 Rock Salt - Bloody stinging anus
2 7-shot - Wounded, hopefully fleeing
1 00 buck - Now i have a mess and i have to call the property management agency and explain why my apartment needs new carpet...

Plan9 03-04-2008 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbandev
I haven't had a reason to use it, but i keep this and a 6 cell mag lite under the edge of the bed

I'd recommend spending the coin on a weapon-mounted light. Even a cheapo one that mounts on the end of your mag tube is better than a separate flashlight. Your escalation-of-force ammo list is nice but I don't think it does any good if you can't see the dude. If you can wrangle both a slide-action shotgun and a Mag-Lite effectively at the same time... you're a better man than I, Gunga Din. This is especially true if you need to go from one ammo type to another immediately. Shotguns require both hands due to weight, loading method, and the large size of their ammo versus their magazine type and capacity. Identification (illumination) of a threat is paramount and must be accomplished while the weapon is at the ready. One never shoots at something they can't see and but illuminating a threat without being able to immediately engage it is equally foolish, IMHO.

A bright light and a shotgun racking noise will send anybody sane running.

Real nice shotgun setup, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbandev
2 Rock Salt - Bloody stinging anus

HAHAHAH... can I get that printed on the side of the hulls?

urbandev 03-04-2008 02:52 PM

I fully agree, i plan to get one as soon as i can afford the one i want :D
It holds 7 rounds in the mag so i shouldn't have to reload, if i have to reload something has gone horribly wrong...

The_Dunedan 03-05-2008 09:22 PM

Working in the shop now, and our "go-to" weapon is the Saiga 12-bore with a 10-rounder in. With 3" OOO, it's over a hundred projectiles on target in about three seconds. Screw a machinegun. Silly thing has over 500 rounds through without a hiccup, every variety of ammo imagineable, and two inch 100-yard groups with slugs. You can't really go wrong with a 12-bore AK.

aKula 03-05-2008 11:04 PM

What do you grab when something goes bump in the night?
 
My girlfriend. She wears the pants in this relationship.

Grasshopper Green 03-06-2008 08:36 AM

Currently, I have a golf club under my bed in case of an "event". Hubby and I have discussed getting a gun, but with a small child in the house, the idea makes me a little nervous.

Plan9 03-06-2008 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa
Currently, I have a golf club under my bed in case of an "event". Hubby and I have discussed getting a gun, but with a small child in the house, the idea makes me a little nervous.

Army lore: You have to be 2% smarter than the equipment you use. That means putting a lock on it. It's not hard. S&W and Taurus even have the lock built into the gun.

What do you call an unloaded gun with a proper lock on it? An expensive paperweight.

I may be rude, but I really wish people would stop fearing guns. Turns out they don't work without human intervention... much in the way your SUV won't randomly T-bone a loaded school bus and kill a child without somebody's clodhopper on the gas pedal and paws on the steering wheel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbandev
I fully agree, i plan to get one as soon as i can afford the one i want :D
It holds 7 rounds in the mag so i shouldn't have to reload, if i have to reload something has gone horribly wrong...

I wasn't suggesting a reload in quantity of shells used (a dual-trigger SxS shotgun holds plenty for a home defense situation), but in type of ammunition used. Just a reminder that your "escalation of force" ammo types might not work for all situations. Just something to consider when your adrenaline is pumping hard and you pull the trigger on a blank round when a bad guy slides a kitchen knife between your ribs. I use rubber buckshot in my Mossberg 590. It'll kill up close but it gives 'em a chance at range.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aKula
My girlfriend. She wears the pants in this relationship.

A man in a dress? Talk about ball room.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Dunedan
Working in the shop now, and our "go-to" weapon is the Saiga 12-bore with a 10-rounder in. With 3" OOO, it's over a hundred projectiles on target in about three seconds. Screw a machinegun. Silly thing has over 500 rounds through without a hiccup, every variety of ammo imagineable, and two inch 100-yard groups with slugs. You can't really go wrong with a 12-bore AK.

Why is it important to use 3" mag OOO and have a 100 projectiles on target in three seconds?

I concur that the Saiga 12 is a great piece... but I'd worry about overkill in a situation like that. Remember to leave the body intact enough to identify. :surprised:

The_Dunedan 03-06-2008 05:56 PM

If someone's causing a "Katy bar the door" problem in a gunshop of all places, evolution needs to be swift, sure, and wildly overkill. One round would probably do the trick just fine, 12-bore is 12-bore, after all. But it's nice to know those other nine are there, just in case. Anyone crazy enough to make a play on a gunshop might -just- be smart enough to bring help...and we're in the middle of -bumfuck-. In a situation like that, instant and overwhelming firepower is sometimes your only recourse.

Such a piece also lessens the chance of something like that happening, since all the neighbors (not exactly trustworthy sorts under the best of circumstances, and that's without the Meth-and-Nyquil diet) are intimately familiar with its' capabilities. Deterrance works.

Grasshopper Green 03-06-2008 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
Army lore: You have to be 2% smarter than the equipment you use. That means putting a lock on it. It's not hard. S&W and Taurus even have the lock built into the gun.

What do you call an unloaded gun with a proper lock on it? An expensive paperweight.

I may be rude, but I really wish people would stop fearing guns. Turns out they don't work without human intervention... much in the way your SUV won't randomly T-bone a loaded school bus and kill a child without somebody's clodhopper on the gas pedal and paws on the steering wheel.

Hubby is an ex-Marine and therefore is quite comfortable with guns, but I haven't handled guns much and am not as knowledgeable about their use and whatnot. I am not averse to buying a gun and learning how to handle it properly...if it can be properly secured against a child's (and teenagers) curiousity.


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