Gun Show Shenanigans

[Walt]

This doesn’t really warrant its own thread, but I couldn’t help but share.

--------

The other weekend, my girlfriend and I left our small hippie mountain town and road tripped to a relatively close larger town to do some shopping. While there, we saw a bunch of signs advertising a local gun show. My girlfriend is a former exchange grad student/ current associate prof at my school and was curious about what, exactly, a gun show entailed. I figured it would be entertaining to introduce her to the batshit crazy folks and militants that are common at such events.

Long story, short: we weren’t disappointed. Amongst the “normals”, there were the usual tables of guys selling authentically fake Nazi uniforms and medals, the ubiquitous sleeveless beef jerky/hot sauce guy, and the militant “freedom” groups out trying to recruit folks to their cause.

We had made the rounds of the place, and had stopped at the very last table before calling it a day. The guy at the last table was selling used military uniforms, veeeery right-wing antigovernment literature and similarly themed t-shirts. One of the shirts had a picture of Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pres. Obama posed as BFFs. Another had an image of a bunch of dudes praying at Mecca with a caption that said “Kill’em all, let their false God sort them out”. Classy stuff.

I noticed that my girlfriend had a confused look on her face and was staring at a particular t-shirt with the word “INFIDEL” in bold across the front, with a sentence beneath it in Arabic script. My girlfriend is a both a native Arab and is a native speaker of Arabic. I asked her “whats up?” She said; “this doesn’t make any sense. The shirt says ‘search result could not be found’.”

Apparently the guy selling the shirt had typed some kind of witty slogan in to Google Translate and then copy and pasted the first thing that popped up in Arabic. I pointed this out to the guy selling the shirts. He became visibly upset and said “well I don’t speak sand nigger and I’m glad that I don’t”. I said “I’m glad too. You just made our day”. The folks who happened to be nearby thought this was hilarious. The guy; not so much. Good times.

-------------------

Anyone care to share similar gun show experiences?

[Cynthetiq]

damn. you needed to have taken a photo of that tshirt.

[Xerxys]

[Pearl Trade]

Oh shit! Hilarious. The dumb white man fails again.

I've never been to a gun show, but I want to go now.

[Walt]

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

damn. you needed to have taken a photo of that tshirt.

Agreed. Unfortunately there were several very conspicuous signs at the front door prohibiting any form of photography and I was somewhat reluctant to push things in that sort of environment with my North African Muslim girlfriend in tow.

Oh, and I was a bit off. The t-shirt said "لا توجد نتائج بحث عن" which translates as "There are no search results for".

--------

It took about 15 minutes to find the shirt online.


T-Shirts

[Plan9]

Walt's story is good, but it's also not the complete gun show picture. Allow me to illustrate for those of you who haven't had the experience:

Lemme first state the obvious: Guns shows aren't about guns. No, guns are only the foundation of gun shows, and like on a house, the foundation is hardly worth talking about it as long as it's there. And I don't know how many people are actually aware of it, but gun shows are actually a social sciences experiment run by a super secret sect of the federal government that is also responsible for OzFest and the infamous Robot Chicken. This program's primary purpose is to seek out every single negative racial and cultural stereotype and put them all together in the same gutted warehouse and/or dilapidated ballroom in order to monitor their interactions and watch them consume 181 different flavors of beef jerky and those $9 hot dogs that smell like farts and taste like sawdust. They also use it to monitor who is purchasing cannon fuse and tattered photocopies of The A______ Cookbook. I can't confirm it but it is suspected that they also engage in datamining and sell their collated results to firearms manufacturers such as Taurus and Springfield Armory so they can continue to produce cutting edge products like The Judge in calibers that are best suited for a fifteen pound Mauser-action safari rifle and M1A SOCOM with enough rail space to attach every Surefire and Magpul product ever made... at the same time.

Some of the personalities you may run into include:

- Fatass old white guys with Harley shirts and stretch-waist jeans engaged in open carry (zip tie through the action)? Check.
- Skinny young black guys in baggy FUBU clothes and a big chain necklace checking out chromed Desert Eagles? Check.
- Ugly, pale, maybe-pregnant trailer trash girls in halter tops and short-shorts wandering aimlessly? Check.
- Asian tourist (sans camera) looking at the amazing array of tools of barbarity used in America? Check.
- Guys of all ages and races dressed as cowboys and looking at SASS (Single Action Shooting Society) cowboy guns? Check.
- Super rich fat bald guy in khaki shorts and polo (drives H2) that makes it clear to everybody he owns REAL MACHINE GUNS? Check.
- Militant lesbian couple with matching neck tattoos and 400 ear piercings picking out Glock 26s? Check.
- Scrawny white kid with goatee wearing "tactical clothes" and cheap nylon drop leg holster for no legitimate reason? Check.
- Nerdy middle-aged, middle-class white guy looking for a Mossberg 500 for home defense? Check.
- Goth kid sitting in the corner, staring at the floor? He doesn't even really like guns but he's here because his brother is. Check.
- Guys from the nearest military base browsing up and down the aisles laughing at the gimmicky hardware? Check.
- Obese guys that used to be in the military sporting jackets with 500 patches and talking about all the tactical action they saw in the '80s? Check.
- Ancient white guy (must be 70+) wandering the aisles with a muzzle-up'd beater rifle from the 1920s, FOR SALE sign on the barrel? Check.

Oh, and there are many, many more.

And keep in mind that those personalities are just the customers. We haven't even touched on the purveyors of goods yet.

...

Shit, this requires its own thread. I'm going to need some time.

[Baraka_Guru]

I imagine the only thing that could rival the gun show in social-study entertainment value would be dog shows.

[Daka]

This is HYSTERICAL, here in Sunny South FLORIDA there is a gun show within 30 miles EVERY WEEKEND....and yes,some of the sellers and the buyers are pretty scary...but the
beef jerky ain't bad....

[Strange Famous]

The prejudice, while appalling, is almost made into a lesser moral offence by the astounding ignorance.

Hitler and Stalin as best mates?

And the person who calls Allah a false God probably calls themselves a Christian and is utterly unconscious of the fact that Allah and Jehova are the same God.

And anyway, "kill them all and let their false God sort it out" completely loses the meaning of the original saying "Kill them all, the Lord will recognise his own" - a false God wouldnt be judging the dead, would he?

Maybe I'm just too pedantic.

_

I guess there is a freedom of speech argument here as well. Some of these things would be illegal in the UK as incitements to religious hatrid. Whether it is right to be allowed to say things which are offensive or harmful to some - I am not 100% convinced of either side being completely true. There are times we should have the right to offend, and there are things that you should not be allowed to say (ie - shouting "fire" in a crowded cinema" being the classic example)

_

To share a somewhat related example, I once called a "blue" comedian at a "gentleman's night" (basically strippers and shit comedy full of swearing and racism/sexism etc) a fucking cunt because he made jokes about Jews and gas ovens. I said it after his segment had finished when he was at the bar, he didnt have much to say for himself back, just made some fatuous comment about people not having a sense of humour. But he didnt make any more jokes like that the next time he was up.

If the bouncer who was looking after the girls was there probably would have had some trouble - but it was a working mans club (ie - everyone was a member and I knew nearly everyone there) so I doubt he would have had a go.

Originally Posted by Walt

This doesn’t really warrant its own thread, but I couldn’t help but share.

--------

The other weekend, my girlfriend and I left our small hippie mountain town and road tripped to a relatively close larger town to do some shopping. While there, we saw a bunch of signs advertising a local gun show. My girlfriend is a former exchange grad student/ current associate prof at my school and was curious about what, exactly, a gun show entailed. I figured it would be entertaining to introduce her to the batshit crazy folks and militants that are common at such events.

Long story, short: we weren’t disappointed. Amongst the “normals”, there were the usual tables of guys selling authentically fake Nazi uniforms and medals, the ubiquitous sleeveless beef jerky/hot sauce guy, and the militant “freedom” groups out trying to recruit folks to their cause.

We had made the rounds of the place, and had stopped at the very last table before calling it a day. The guy at the last table was selling used military uniforms, veeeery right-wing antigovernment literature and similarly themed t-shirts. One of the shirts had a picture of Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pres. Obama posed as BFFs. Another had an image of a bunch of dudes praying at Mecca with a caption that said “Kill’em all, let their false God sort them out”. Classy stuff.

I noticed that my girlfriend had a confused look on her face and was staring at a particular t-shirt with the word “INFIDEL” in bold across the front, with a sentence beneath it in Arabic script. My girlfriend is a both a native Arab and is a native speaker of Arabic. I asked her “whats up?” She said; “this doesn’t make any sense. The shirt says ‘search result could not be found’.”

Apparently the guy selling the shirt had typed some kind of witty slogan in to Google Translate and then copy and pasted the first thing that popped up in Arabic. I pointed this out to the guy selling the shirts. He became visibly upset and said “well I don’t speak sand nigger and I’m glad that I don’t”. I said “I’m glad too. You just made our day”. The folks who happened to be nearby thought this was hilarious. The guy; not so much. Good times.

-------------------

Anyone care to share similar gun show experiences?

[Jinn]

9 posts and it's a thread about SF confronting someone.

[Slims]

...Lots of confronting, very little hitting. Perhaps the comedian was really just looking to lick his face like that retriever. No spine-breaking necessary....

[Strange Famous]

I didnt confront him, I just swore at him. I wouldnt do it if I was at a gun show and we was heavily armed probably

[Slims]

I am going to gleefully take this thread off topic now.

I don't get your response Strange. How can calling someone in a bar a Cunt not be confronting him? Either you expected a fight (hence confrontation) or you expected him to act passive and back down, giving you a nice warm-fuzzy feeling from demonstrating that you (with the help of all your mates in the bar) are capable of intimidating a comedian.

I really think I am true to form (and past comments) when I say that you shouldn't aggravate like that unless you are looking for a fight. You seem to frequently get away with that sort of behavior without fighting, which indicates to me you are picking easy-marks. I.E. those who seem too small, frail and mouselike to simply put your teeth out in response. That you weighed the odds of the bouncer stepping in against the ability of your 'mates' to fight on your behalf gives another indication. I guess it's one way to use your superior intellect. It's probably best against human attackers though if you simultaneously sweep them up by their hind legs.

I can't even imagine what would happen if you came over to the states and called someone (with an ounce of masculine self-respect) a cunt.

[Pearl Trade]

You did confront him. You went up to him and swore at him. Confrontation, yes.

Whenever I hit up a gun show, I'll bring along Plan 9's checklist.

[ring]

I went to a gun show with my cousin,
& got to carry around his much wanted old Winchester single shot rifle.
Boy did I get the attention.

We found my deer-rifle there. A chopped 303 British/Enfield with a spotless shiny bore.

Gun shows are freaky. There was one nice lady jewelry maker who had some fine
pieces.

It's much the same as Plan9 says. The machine gun night time fireworks video thugs
& the jumpy twitchy sellers of Nazi crap were the most disturbing.
You just kind of keep your head down & scurry past those booths.

I've been to other gun shows as well..much the same.
I prefer the custom knife & sword-maker shows. The yearly one in Chicago is swell.

[Walt]

Originally Posted by Pearl Trade

Whenever I hit up a gun show, I'll bring along Plan 9's checklist.

Arrange the types of people on a card in 5 rows of 5....gun show bingo?

[The_Dunedan]

I can't even imagine what would happen if you came over to the states and called someone (with an ounce of masculine self-respect) a cunt.

I can imagine quite a few possible outcomes, but they all seem to end up involving mops, buckets, and lots of paperwork for the local 5-0.

[genuinegirly]

There's a gun show advertised nearly every weekend. Never been bored enough to go. Doubt I ever will. But if I do, it will be for the people-watching.

Originally Posted by Walt

Arrange the types of people on a card in 5 rows of 5....gun show bingo?

Brilliant. Count me in.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Slims

I am going to gleefully take this thread off topic now.

I don't get your response Strange. How can calling someone in a bar a Cunt not be confronting him? Either you expected a fight (hence confrontation) or you expected him to act passive and back down, giving you a nice warm-fuzzy feeling from demonstrating that you (with the help of all your mates in the bar) are capable of intimidating a comedian.

I really think I am true to form (and past comments) when I say that you shouldn't aggravate like that unless you are looking for a fight. You seem to frequently get away with that sort of behavior without fighting, which indicates to me you are picking easy-marks. I.E. those who seem too small, frail and mouselike to simply put your teeth out in response. That you weighed the odds of the bouncer stepping in against the ability of your 'mates' to fight on your behalf gives another indication. I guess it's one way to use your superior intellect. It's probably best against human attackers though if you simultaneously sweep them up by their hind legs.

I can't even imagine what would happen if you came over to the states and called someone (with an ounce of masculine self-respect) a cunt.

"If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too."

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by Slims

I can't even imagine what would happen if you came over to the states and called someone (with an ounce of masculine self-respect) a cunt.

Oh god!

Why slims?

Why open that door?

[Walt]

Edit: May have been taken the wrong way by others.

[Slims]

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Oh god!

Why slims?

Why open that door?

Because it is there....~George Mallory

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Walt

Edit: May have been taken the wrong way by others.

Story of your life.

[Walt]

Originally Posted by Plan9

Story of your life.

Shut the fuck up, Donny. You're out of your element.

[roachboy]

Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?

[Plan9]

Well, now. It appears the circle is complete.

I nominate Dunedan as The Mysterious Stranger / Narrator.

...

Originally Posted by Slims

Because it is there....~George Mallory

Who's wasted? This guy. ^

[Shadowex3]

Originally Posted by Plan9

- Nerdy middle-aged, middle-class white guy looking for a Mossberg 500 for home defense? Check.

Dammit Plan9, I was safe until you got me here. I can't help it that I think it's one of the sexiest guns I've ever seen and that I just have a thing for shotguns...

[The_Dunedan]

I nominate Dunedan as The Mysterious Stranger / Narrator.

*Dunedan bows theatrically but briefly from the bar.*

Thankee kindly, m'friend, an' remind me t'buy you a drink the next time you're in the Mountains.

[ChrisJericho]

Originally Posted by Plan9

Walt's story is good, but it's also not the complete gun show picture. Allow me to illustrate for those of you who haven't had the experience:

Lemme first state the obvious: Guns shows aren't about guns. No, guns are only the foundation of gun shows, and like on a house, the foundation is hardly worth talking about it as long as it's there. And I don't know how many people are actually aware of it, but gun shows are actually a social sciences experiment run by a super secret sect of the federal government that is also responsible for OzFest and the infamous Robot Chicken. This program's primary purpose is to seek out every single negative racial and cultural stereotype and put them all together in the same gutted warehouse and/or dilapidated ballroom in order to monitor their interactions and watch them consume 181 different flavors of beef jerky and those $9 hot dogs that smell like farts and taste like sawdust. They also use it to monitor who is purchasing cannon fuse and tattered photocopies of The A______ Cookbook. I can't confirm it but it is suspected that they also engage in datamining and sell their collated results to firearms manufacturers such as Taurus and Springfield Armory so they can continue to produce cutting edge products like The Judge in calibers that are best suited for a fifteen pound Mauser-action safari rifle and M1A SOCOM with enough rail space to attach every Surefire and Magpul product ever made... at the same time.

Some of the personalities you may run into include:

- Fatass old white guys with Harley shirts and stretch-waist jeans engaged in open carry (zip tie through the action)? Check.
- Skinny young black guys in baggy FUBU clothes and a big chain necklace checking out chromed Desert Eagles? Check.
- Ugly, pale, maybe-pregnant trailer trash girls in halter tops and short-shorts wandering aimlessly? Check.
- Asian tourist (sans camera) looking at the amazing array of tools of barbarity used in America? Check.
- Guys of all ages and races dressed as cowboys and looking at SASS (Single Action Shooting Society) cowboy guns? Check.
- Super rich fat bald guy in khaki shorts and polo (drives H2) that makes it clear to everybody he owns REAL MACHINE GUNS? Check.
- Militant lesbian couple with matching neck tattoos and 400 ear piercings picking out Glock 26s? Check.
- Scrawny white kid with goatee wearing "tactical clothes" and cheap nylon drop leg holster for no legitimate reason? Check.
- Nerdy middle-aged, middle-class white guy looking for a Mossberg 500 for home defense? Check.
- Goth kid sitting in the corner, staring at the floor? He doesn't even really like guns but he's here because his brother is. Check.
- Guys from the nearest military base browsing up and down the aisles laughing at the gimmicky hardware? Check.
- Obese guys that used to be in the military sporting jackets with 500 patches and talking about all the tactical action they saw in the '80s? Check.
- Ancient white guy (must be 70+) wandering the aisles with a muzzle-up'd beater rifle from the 1920s, FOR SALE sign on the barrel? Check.

Oh, and there are many, many more.

And keep in mind that those personalities are just the customers. We haven't even touched on the purveyors of goods yet.

...

Shit, this requires its own thread. I'm going to need some time.

There is one more personality I didn't see mentioned that I have encountered recently a few times outside some gun stores and ranges, and that's the "Paranoid Parking Lot Dude."

This is the guy who is convinced that once he steps outside into the parking lot all the people who were formerly inside the range and store with him, are now out to get him and take all of his valuables.

The best P.P.L.D. I have encountered so far was when I was coming out a gun store carrying a few bags of ammo. There was a guy parked next to me, he had parked rear first and was by the rear of his car and I had parked head first and was approaching the back of my car. As I get near my car he stops loading the stuff in his car and starts staring at me and at the same time he starts positioning himself behind his car for cover as if we are going to get into a gunfight. He creepily stares at me the entire time as I load my stuff in the back of the car, get in, buckle my seat-belt and drive-off.

While of course it's good to be aware of your surroundings and especially in parking lots, this guy took it to a whole new level. It felt like he was actually trying to escalate things by acting so strangely.

Oh and he looked like Frohike from X-files

[Cimarron29414]

The most amazing thing about this thread is its truth. This is EXACTLY what a gun show is like. As much of a second amendment guy as I am, when I go to a gun show I am faced with virtually every legitimate reason to question the second amendment. It truly is freaks on parade. I wonder if we could correlate the attendees to the regions? For example, I'm in the South and I never see the Goth kid, the lesbians or the Asian tourist. All the others are well represented, though.

[Latex Ren]

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

I imagine the only thing that could rival the gun show in social-study entertainment value would be dog shows.

Hey now...I do the dog show deal and I'm not like that

It really isn't like "Best in Show".


Ok...it is.

[Walt]

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

I wonder if we could correlate the attendees to the regions? For example, I'm in the South and I never see the Goth kid, the lesbians or the Asian tourist.

Statistically speaking, those folks had to be at the shows you've attended. Maybe they were also members of the "everything-I-own-is-RealTree" crowd and you just didn't see them.

[ring]

I hear hipsters are beginning to accessorize with real guns? (Oh, please tell me it aint so.)
Been awhile since I've been to a gun show.
Perhaps hipsters need to be added to the list.

Oh, yikes.

[Shadowex3]

Originally Posted by ring

I hear hipsters are beginning to accessorize with real guns? (Oh, please tell me it aint so.)
Been awhile since I've been to a gun show.
Perhaps hipsters need to be added to the list.

Oh, yikes.

.... So how does that work, do they buy nothing but eastern european knockoffs and Judges?