PLEASE HELP-NEVER EVER MASTURBATED...NO JOKE!
 

So when people usually ask the undying question of "Have you ever masturbated?" My answer is no. Ofcourse they don't believe me, but seriously I have never done that kind of thing. It just doesn't do anything for me. It makes me wonder if I missing out on some so mind blowing and erotic, that maybe I need some helpful tips. Is there anybody out there that can help me overcome my fear of Masturbation?

why do you fear masturbation?

I assume you're a girl? if you are then i cannot help you.

It might not be a part of your sexuality. Dr. Drew has mentioned that this sort of thing happens to some women. They need someone there. There's nothing wrong with these people. They may also be the few gals that say the messager is for there back and mean it :)

I didn't start masturbating properly until I was 22. Meaning, I hardly ever touched myself down there unless I was bathing. I was still a virgin then and had become really horny due to all my friends having sex, so I wanted to see how things were done. I started by just playing around, seeing how things felt and worked... just using the hands. There's no wrong way to masturbate! It took me a while before I learned how to orgasm from my own hands, but I really enjoyed taking my time and exploring myself after so many years.

Are you from a religious background? That was part of my issue at first. Otherwise, let us know something about your fears, and maybe we can help you better.

It sounds more like you are curious, than afraid. Why do you say you need to overcome your fear? Do you fear masturbation? There is nothing wrong with masturbation, hopefully religion or ill-informed parents haven't swayed your decision not to masturbate thus far. Give it a try see what you think.

I never did have the sex talk...it was just assumed from my mother. She was single parent and had alot more crap going on in her life than worry whether or not her daughter knows about herself sexually. Its not that I'm afraid...I'm more disgusted. haha Though I love to have sex. I mean I'm not a whore or anything, but I really enjoy having the 'real' thing, if you must say.... Does that makes sense to anyone out there?

Maybe you fear it because you heard it causes blindness, hairy palms, and stunts your growth. :D

when you say it does nothing for you do you mean you have actually trieed it?

anyways all it does is take over your life....it's addictive! :lol:

Are you female?

Just make sure you've washed and moisturized your hands, locked your door, cancelled your appointments, and get naked. There's no one to embarass, and nothing to go wrong as long as you're just feeling around with your hands. Massage, touch, caress, and anything else you can think of (as long as you're not jamming something somewhere or going too rough from the start), and figure out what feels best for you. Once you've done that, just keeping doing what feels the best and you're off to the races.

Nobody's going to see, no one but you will know, and God is not a pervert. You've just got yourself and the joys of touching.

Well, that is a bit of a problem. I don't want to pretend to analyze without really knowing your situation, but if you're disgusted by your own body, especially if it's your sex organs, then there's definitely something going on. From my experience, all the people I've known who have felt like you have had problems beyond their sexuality that prevented them from really enjoying sex (often related to parents, though not always). To a person they were disgusted by masturbation until they figured out what the real problem was. Most of them still haven't figured it out, but the few who have are much, much happier now.

I could be wrong... but your post sounds very simliar to stories I've heard in the past, and I really believe you're going to have to do some honest thinking before anything else.

I apologize if I sound presumptious - I'm just relating my experiences.

get to know what turns u on and think about it whilst u do it

I hope people don't think I'm nutty by writing this thread, but then on the other hand I really don't give a sheet. I guess I've just really haven't been that into it. I mean, I was a virgin until I was 19 for god's sakes! Maybe I'm just a rookie about my personal sexuality and its really quite embrassing....Hmmm I don't know....

Nothing wrong with that hon, alot of people in their advanced age are still virgins. Hell, even my own 20 years old brother is *still* a virgin.

hmm... I'm probably not the best to advise, as I probably started around 13 years old, and since then have not been able to keep my hands out of my panties for too long ..

but anyways -

I would say that, yes, I think a sexually active person should be able to masturbate.
you should care, and you should work on it.

perhaps instead of just going right for 'it' ...

start slow ... get used to touching your body, in general.
then, when you feel comfortable with it, and horny or wanting to be, touch yourself a bit more sensually .... run your hands around your hips, up the side of your waist ... fondle your breasts a bit ... and your ass ...

do that enough and you really should feel like sticking your hand between your legs.

trust me ;)

sorry to intrude here, but just reading SiN's step-by-step commentary should do the trick for ya right there!

:)

If you're just starting out and you're 19, my advice is to go whole hog. Don't fool around. Go to the bank and borrow some money and then get yourself a Sybian.
http://www.sybian.com/

You'll thank me later. :lol:

I'm not 19, I'm 21.... I'm a rookie... is a sybian still excellent?

I learned to masterbate pretty early on in life. It is a shame that it is looked upon many females as gross. It is a completely natural thing. The only thing that I can figure about your fear is it a religious thing or a fear implanted in your head due to our soceity strange view on the exploration of our own bodies.

If you do not know your own body and how to make it feel pleasure how are you going to be comfortable letting anyone else do it for you? The first time I had an orgasm it was with myself. The first time I had a g-spot orgasm was with myself and a vibrator. I would never know how to show a guy how to do it for me if I did not know exactly how to do it.

My suggestion is get a mirror and look at your genitalia and know what it looks like and get used to touching it not necessarily masterbating. Know where your clitoris is, feel where your g-spot is (inside the upper wall of the vagina it feels like a walnut) and then move on from there.

Sexual freedom is bliss but you have to be able to put all your fears aside to achieve it.

Jenni

A sybian is very expensive. I would say, that SiN has some good advice. I would also consider getting a small vibrator like a pocket rocket. I understand they are quite good.

Girl, I didn't start masturbating until I was 22, and I didn't have sex until I was 24. Don't talk about being nutty. :) It's perfectly fine (and even healthy, if it's done right) to be not-that-into-it until now... sex is not the be-all and end-all of everything in your life. I personally think that the later you start, the better choices you'll make in sexual partners. So nothing to be ashamed of at all.

That said, do get a vibrator! I used my hands for 3 years, which was great, but after I had sex I had to have a vibrator. Now I own 6. :D

Abaya-thanks...very funny! My friends have threatened to buy me a 'gizmo' if you must say, for a while now. They are determined to get me rearrrin to go! haha I think another reason why I don't 'explore' is because I never had the sex talk when growing up and wasn't really exposed to alot of sexual.....hmmm what would you say things/environments etc... Now days, I'm addicted to sex, though I've only orgasmed 5 or 6 times... How pathetic is that? I can't count on no more than two hands how many times I've actually orgasmed...how embarassing.

It's not embarassing. It's just you and where you are in your personal journey.

Love yourself (both ways ;)) and all will be fine. :thumbsup:

Encouragement by way of a story...I had a lover once who orgasmed only by my mouth or hand, and while she had seriously big vibrator as well, only came when using it on her clit. When I met a girl who could orgasm with me inside her it was just the most excellent experience- sex with a woman when she comes is just soooo much better a feeling. She and every other lover I've had who comes with me inside has been very comfortable with masturbating, and the majority attribute their heightened enjoyment of sex with a man to being good at and comfortable with pleasuring themselves. I spose what I'm trying to say is that if you need some encouragement to becoming good at masturbation is that it might also increase your pleasure from sex with someone else because they're getting more from the experience. Hope that makes sense.

I agree with SiN, start slow. I started having sex at 16, but didn't start masturbating until 24 (with the help of my current love). Grab a mirror and get comfortable, whether that is on your bed or wherever. Put on music if that helps. But just go slow and explore your body. I started out using my hands and the first time you make your self orgasm..WOW! Then get a vibrator (one that suites your needs) the first and only one that I have bought was the Blueberry Buzz (http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/PRO...-spot/DO215110). Just remember to relax and explore your body.

Yes, this is my vibe of choice lately... and I have a lot to choose from!! :lol: But I definitely recommend using your hands/fingers first, then using the vibe once you make yourself orgasm with the hands. Personally, I miss the days when I could cum from my own handwork... doesn't happen without the vibe these days!

two words: pearl rabbit.

I would highly suggest a sex toy.

Like Abaya, i was repressed and didn't start masturbating until my gyno. asked me if i had ever had an orgasm.. and i hadn't! I was 21 and having sex and had never gotten off... well, i got a vibrator and just relaxed a little and now i masturbate ever day and our sex life is amazing now..

Just relax and let yourself feel things, and you're not nutty at all, lots and lots of women have issues surrouding masturbation and sex toys...

In my opinion, no need to spend allot of money on a special sex toy, any old 20 dollar vibrator will do the trick ;)
Sweetpea

Gotta agree the pearl rabbit is the way to go. First time I ever found my G-spot was with that badboy and I attribute that to being able so show my man what he needs to do.

Buyer beware! I really don't think any man can compare to that piece of machinery and your hand is just not the same. I would suggest a normal run of the mill vibrator before this one.

Just relax, once you let go its gone.

Silvertiger here.. Male .. 32 .. full fledged pervert.

I learned at a very early age that it was definately for me .. and haven't stopped since..

the wife grew up religious and felt it was a really bad thing. one day she walked in and caught me .. and was speechless, she almost left me .. if you can believe that.

well.. we've grown a lot since that .. and even watch each other masturbate. it is awesome to see what gets them off when THEY do it.. it helps me know what i need to be doing better.

we still have yet to try and serious toys.. but i'm sure we'll get there..

dont be afraid to touch yourself... everywhere... you'd be amazed how many erogenous zones you have if you drop pretenses like "im ticklish there", "its gross", "giggle.. i shouldnt do that" .. hehe

not to down play that you like sex.. but exploring your own body is an awesome step forward.

SilverTiger