Advice? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

slimcr · 08-13-2005, 05:17 PM

So, I have a girlfriend, things arent exactly going well right now and hasnt for several months.

Now, in school *culinary school* one day a girl walked in. I kinda fell in love with her that day, I made a comment shortly there after to a friend....the teacher heard of it and since that day, he makes jokes about me liking her every week.....he just doesnt say its me.....

Couple months have gone by since then, she know knows who her secret admirer is.....

I really really really like her and as it turns out, she really likes me. Long story short, we really like each other... She admitted that she really liked me since day one and that she was wishing that I was her secret admirer....we have talked several times now in the last couple days, including meeting her mom yesterday, talking very sincerely about feelings and they abound....

Couple problems, I have a gf, she has a bf. I openly told her I wasnt going to cheat on my gf and that I wasnt interested in having any kind of fling, etc etc..... She respects her bf and neither wants to cheat on their "SO"...

We really like each other though, and I am just flat out falling in love with her, and hard, I mean hard.

What the fuck do I do?

Any advice?

maleficent · 08-13-2005, 05:30 PM

If you are falling in love with this other woman... be fair to your current girlfriend and end it...

Sounds like you are both keeping the existing boyfriend and girlfriend as safety nets, and enjoying the flirtation....

If you want to figure out where it's going to go- -you gotta be fair to yourself and your current girlfriend...

Why are you staying with your current girlfriend? Why's she with the boyfriend? Is what they offer you more than the rush that what you get wiht the new girl?

dirtyrascal7 · 08-13-2005, 05:48 PM

So you're falling in love with a girl who happens to like you back, while at the same time things aren't going so well with your current girlfriend.

It sounds like you already know what you want... so what are you waiting for?

visotech · 08-13-2005, 06:41 PM

Assess your current relationship, is it everything you are looking for? Do you think things might work out better if you were to break it off? People are afraid of change, they stick to their SO even if things get boring, just because its a sort of saftey net. Are you willing to loose your current gf, and take the risk of not making it with the new girl?

irateplatypus · 08-13-2005, 07:42 PM

the choice is too obvious... either you know what you should do, or you haven't told the whole story.

SiN · 08-13-2005, 07:58 PM

not reading the other responses, and just skimmed through the first ..

but, it all still seems screamingly obvious to me.

break it off with your gf.

don't worry about this other one, she's got a bf.

move on to something you can be happy with.

ruggerp11 · 08-13-2005, 10:04 PM

The only thing I would suggest is complete honesty. That will help it go as well as possible.

08-13-2005, 05:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
slimcr Insane	Advice? So, I have a girlfriend, things arent exactly going well right now and hasnt for several months. Now, in school culinary school one day a girl walked in. I kinda fell in love with her that day, I made a comment shortly there after to a friend....the teacher heard of it and since that day, he makes jokes about me liking her every week.....he just doesnt say its me..... Couple months have gone by since then, she know knows who her secret admirer is..... I really really really like her and as it turns out, she really likes me. Long story short, we really like each other... She admitted that she really liked me since day one and that she was wishing that I was her secret admirer....we have talked several times now in the last couple days, including meeting her mom yesterday, talking very sincerely about feelings and they abound.... Couple problems, I have a gf, she has a bf. I openly told her I wasnt going to cheat on my gf and that I wasnt interested in having any kind of fling, etc etc..... She respects her bf and neither wants to cheat on their "SO"... We really like each other though, and I am just flat out falling in love with her, and hard, I mean hard. What the fuck do I do? Any advice?

08-13-2005, 05:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	If you are falling in love with this other woman... be fair to your current girlfriend and end it... Sounds like you are both keeping the existing boyfriend and girlfriend as safety nets, and enjoying the flirtation.... If you want to figure out where it's going to go- -you gotta be fair to yourself and your current girlfriend... Why are you staying with your current girlfriend? Why's she with the boyfriend? Is what they offer you more than the rush that what you get wiht the new girl? __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-13-2005, 07:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
irateplatypus can't help but laugh Location: dar al-harb	the choice is too obvious... either you know what you should do, or you haven't told the whole story. __________________ If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves. ~ Winston Churchill

08-13-2005, 07:58 PM	#6 (permalink)
SiN strangelove Location: ...more here than there...	not reading the other responses, and just skimmed through the first .. but, it all still seems screamingly obvious to me. break it off with your gf. don't worry about this other one, she's got a bf. move on to something you can be happy with. __________________ - + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach

08-13-2005, 10:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
ruggerp11 Cautiously soaring Location: exploring my new home in SF	The only thing I would suggest is complete honesty. That will help it go as well as possible. __________________ Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. --Mark Twain Do What makes you happy --Me BUT! "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

08-13-2005, 05:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
dirtyrascal7 That's what she said	So you're falling in love with a girl who happens to like you back, while at the same time things aren't going so well with your current girlfriend. It sounds like you already know what you want... so what are you waiting for?

08-13-2005, 06:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
visotech Insane Location: San Diego, CA	Assess your current relationship, is it everything you are looking for? Do you think things might work out better if you were to break it off? People are afraid of change, they stick to their SO even if things get boring, just because its a sort of saftey net. Are you willing to loose your current gf, and take the risk of not making it with the new girl?