Do you care if your partner Cums?
 

I've heard of a lot of guys "rolling over" after they cum. I have also experienced women who were unwilling to reciprocate -after I got them off orally. I always try to get my partner off -especially if I have mine. Gentle reader, I ask you -Does it matter to you?

The best way to ensure future Os for yourself is to provide Os for her.

I strongly agree with Coppertop. Ya gotta give a little to get a little. (or hopefully a lot)

actually nothing gets me off more than getting her off, the expressions are amazing, when she loses control...ya, it matters

^^^^^^
What qweds said :)

There's nothing I love feeling more than him bursting inside of me

There's nothing I love feeling more than her clenching up in orgasm while I burst inside of her.

What everybody said ^^^

ditto, if she cums, i've done my job. it also means that she has done her job for me.

it matters to me i think sometimes getting a girl to orgasm is kinda like a huge confidence booster....

I agree with what everybody has said...namely that getting *her* off is definitely the best part. And if it can be timed where we cum together...all the better.

In all truth, If she doesnt cum it wasnt good for me. I really get satisfaction out of seeing and hearing her when she cums. I try to find new ways, and make her maon more as somehow its actually a turn on for me.

I like to think of myself as a considerat lover and part of that, for me, is making sure she's satisfied every time.

I love it when she cums

While most of the women who I've shared sex with have been multiorgasmic, the one I've been with for the last 20+ years has it in her head that she only needs or deserves one orgasm per day. That is no matter if it's during the same session or multiiple sessions. I have only managed to get her off more than once in a day maybe a dozen times in over 20 years. Usually the extra's were during our first session of any given day.

So, it's become a lot easier on my ego to just let her give me a handjob rather than go through the motions and her not get off. She seems to enjoy giving to me by hand and it works for us I guess.

Looking at the numbers in the poll here I'm not surprised that 90% of the guys do want their partners to get off.

I've had a couple of times where it was I that wasn't able to get off, she did though, that was good enough for me :)

That's my main goal, To make sure that she orgasms. Nothing hotter than a girl orgasming.

I like to mak her cum. Making her feel good is the major part of the experience for me...and if she's doing the same, happiness will be obtained by all!

If I have an orgasm, then I want to make sure the guy gets his too. It's really only fair. If I have an orgasm and the guy doesn't, then I want to do everything I can to make him have one too.

Cumming together is the best sex. When she cums that muscle inside the vagina, what ever it is called, really clamps down. That is the REAL ectasy. If a guy can't get it off then, I don't know what it would take.

when she screams at the end! :thumbsup: :D :crazy:

Kinda sad that 3 people doesn't care if their partner cums or not. I wonder what's the reasoning behind it...

I want her to orgasm, but it isn't always a matter of both of us getting off. Sometimes I just enjoy taking care of her without either of us needing to be concerned with whether I climax, and vice versa. Since we've learned to relax and not concern ourselves with the idea that we both have to come every time we make love, we've each been able to take pleasure from pleasing the other and been able to recieve without guilt.

It took quite some time to get to this point, though. The real benefit is that it tends to be much more intense and more likely to result in multiple or sustained orgasms if we're both invested in giving just one of us pleasure.

Thats actually all I care about. If she gets off. I would feel incomplete if she didn't orgasm. I don't care about if I get off, I will anyway, as long as she does. Thats good sex. :D

My mission is to maker her cum 1st. Only takes me a min or two to cum if i focus

She cums first, always. There are a few times she just wants a quickie, but other than that, I take care of her first, then it's my turn.

depends if i love them then yes of course i do...i love giving that ultimate pleasure to a deserving lover:)

I think that fewer women are admitting it here than what really exists. I know from experience that some ladies can orgasm and then roll over before their man gets off. Common ladies, just admit it. You've orgasmed and your guy is still pumping away... Don't you just want him to quit?

I ALWAYS make sure TW comes before I do. Of course, that's quite easy now that I'm on Zoloft. I think I only come 2 or 3 times a week and we have sex at least 6 days a week. Thank you Zoloft.

I would totally take it personally if my man didn't cum.
He has to cum. It makes the whole thing, complete.. I like complete-ness.. er.. yeah.

I'm not to fussed if I don't cum though, sometimes a quicky without cumming is just as good as a long hard fuck session.

partner totally has to cum.theres nothing greater than the feeling of him erupting inside me and that surge of warmth running through me.it drives me completely :crazy: bonkers!!!

although i would take offence if he didnt, not really offence more than i'd feel inadequate just as i suppose men would feel inadequate if his partner didnt cum.

although guys and gals...it's not always about the orgasm.theres more to it than that.dont you think? :)

95% of the time she and I have to, but there are those situations where u are both exahuasted and tired and you've been doing it forever maybe your second round. Then sometimes rolling over and going to sleep is :thumbsup:

yep, my thoughts exactly....does that make me selfish?

Allright, this thread touches on one of my peeves ... being too concerned about it.

I removed names because i don't mean to point fingers

Cumming matters, but I don't think it's necessarily the only point.
It's the difference between destinational sex, and simply enjoying the ride.

I've seen too many posts from other women, worried about that they don't always orgasm, are they inadequate, their SO doesn't like it, blah blah ...
And, in my own experience ... I've had lots of sex with a fair amount of people.
Almost always totally enjoyed myself, but definitely not always orgasmed.

I've had enough sex with enough people, I think, to say that
too many men worry/take personally too much if the female cums or not!
And if I can tell that it's a big deal after sex, it is really kind of a wtf? it was all fine until you pull this crap ....

Men:


I notise a lot of emphasis, a lot pf pressure that could be put on the female, intentionally or not.
Not cool.


A couple from the girls, also with heavy emphasis on the 'cumming' but tempered with realism ...

Moral of my rant:

Considerate, unselfish sex is great. Pleasurable sex is wonderful. That is what one should concern onesself with.
Sex with pressure, with too much hanging on emotions and confidences and securities ... meh.

All imo, of course.

(I know, I know, I'm broadening the original topic a bit. sorry.).

Anyways, carry on :)




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Edit: almost forgot the most important thing:
Guys - if she does not orgasm, that does not in any way whatsofuckingever mean that she did not enjoy it.
Please, do not take it that way.

SIN MADE THE BEST POST IN THIS THREAD. READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sex with pressure, with too much hanging on emotions and confidences and securities ... meh. "

GOD-Fucking_DAMNIT! YES! YES! YES! The prepubescent idea that I got from porn, that she "had to come".. nearly destroyed my sex life. She doesn't NEED to come, and neither do you. Sex is about enjoying the other person; it's like a birthday party. Your partner is having a huge fucking birthday party (pun intended) and you really care if the party ends with a big bang? They had a damn birthday party for you! Enjoy the party while it lasts, and your friends are there, and you're eating the cake. Don't spend the whole party waiting for the end. By putting all of this pressure on myself to make her cum, and her putting all this pressure on herself to make ME cum.. my sex life was going dowwwwwn hill. If I even sensed the fact that she wasn't 100% enjoying it, I felt inadequate and my third leg reacted accordingly. I can't tell you the number of times I "failed" because I felt like I was "failing" -- you'll make yourself a self-fufilling prophecy. Likewise, my girlfriend is the Hope Diamond of orgasms.. there's no fuckin way you're gettin that.. and if you somehow stumble on it -- GOOD WORK! I could bother myself feeling inadequate that I don't make her orgasm (and I do sometimes).. but my ultimate concern is that she enjoys what I do NOW.

edit: just to clarify; that's not to say you SHOULDN'T care, by all means you should.. but don't make it the only thing that makes sex worthwile. and most importantly, don't think sex (or you, or your partner) are a faillure if orgasm of either party doesn't occur.

i think i'm cumming right now. does that mean i gotta get all you guys off too? :P

Just because I want him to cum, doesn't mean I tell him he HAS too. I was just pointing out, that i'll do anything I can to help him get to that point. Hell, who doesn't want to cum, when having sex?

I guess I would worry about it if he was hammering away for a couple of hours and still hasn't shot his load. ( hahah. Gosh, now thats some sweet talking. ) So what if I am concerned about my lover getting all he can out of our session. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

Pressure, and being "concerned", are two different things.

I'm sure thats what alot of the guys here meant.



neveroddoreven: Damn straight it does! ;)

i feel inadequate if they dont. that and im a big fan of give/receive and since i orgasm easily i am willing to put forth necessary effort (until my legs give out of my mouth goes numb)

but yea, i care a lot.

There's nothing hotter than seeing her face contorted in the pleasure of an orgasm.

Besides, she usually comes first anyways. Several times. Yeah, she's a bit of a nympho ;)

Now here is another good question- do you care if you cum?

There are some times when I just can't orgasm, and in those cases, I still want my partner to get off.

Does that make sense?

i totally agree with jinxed ...its a fine line but it's still there.

i also agree with jinnkai on this one that sex is about enjoying your partner, enjoying eachother.and how can you enjoy the full extent of pleasure if there is no end result?

its not so much putting pressure on your partner as it is wanting your partner to enjoy themselves while they enjoying what you are doing for them.

but...i still maintain that its not always about the orgasm.there's just something sensual about you and your partner having sex and not orgasming.i think it brings you closer together.

Exactly :)

once again i have to agree, if your with the right person then all of these things happen naturally.

So, is this 'cumming' thing the only/the only valid/a necessary proof that your partner enjoyed him/herself?


:hmm:

I care if my wife has an orgasm but I don't freak out if she doesn't.

We've been together long enough that *if* she wants to orgasm and hasn't she lets me know...

Besides, there is something to be said for "selfish sex". Sometimes, it is OK for it to be just about you.

like i said the first time, its not always about the orgasm. the orgasm is the bonus from having a good time, the PRIZE when you win the race( if you will)although winning "the race" is not always important.

"what you're doing for them", is not necessarily making them orgasm but aiding them in getting there!

Everyone is so nice... I'm wondering if we're trying to look good here... : >

Taking all the altruistic and sharing stuff as a given assumption for a sec... and I think I can relate to pretty much all that's been said so far.

Sometimes, as a guy, I just want to have a straightforward buildup/foreplay and orgasm in a shorter timeframe. I feel like I want to play rock music (4-10min song) vs maybe choosing to play/compose a classical sonata. The latter... well there're so many decisions to be made. Order, tempo, style. Sheesh. It can work well, or it can... er work less well. Give me the basic chords, the basic beat, a little break in the middle and I'm happy most of the time.

To be 100% candid for a sec... sometimes (not always mind) I find that women's biology re orgasm, or more fairly, male/female compatibility re orgasm, is a good argument against this so-called "intelligent design" that creationists are discussing these days.

Surely there're some others here that got to puberty and found that their sex-drive didn't align perfectly with their ideals, views, morals? Speak-up or this will be boring.

well, can't say that i've ever had a partner not orgasm...

if it were to happen, i suppose i'd approach it the same way i want to be approached when i don't orgasm--does he want to cum and if so, what can i do to get him there?

cause honestly, sometimes i just don't care if i climax. it feels good anyway and i want to cuddle and enjoy each other, not work for an orgasm. other times, i want it and i fully expect him to do whatever it takes to help me get there--i'm too old to waste my time on partners who don't care about my needs.

while i agree the focus shouldn't be just on the climax--it does matter. unless you are perfectly content to never have an orgasm (or your partner has expressed this feeling and you believe it) then saying it doesn't matter is selfish. do you have to have it every time? i think most people (men and women) would say no, they can enjoy sex for the pleasure it brings without a climax. but if i want it, i expect my partner to help make it happen.

Ideally both partners will enjoy the big O. I have to admit that I am one of those type that gets off very quickly - I'm good to go again after that but I usually come before my guy. I still want to have him cum though - but if he doesn't I don't feel I "failed" in some way. I try to please him because I want him to feel as good as I do but if he doesn't cum I don't perceive it as some self-esteem thing or that we've done something wrong.

If I cum and I'm done....I'll do whatever it takes to make my honey happy. If he's good with just me being complete - then more power to him. I'll just try that much harder next time to rock his world!

lets be honest. I love bringing my SO to orgasm. I love the look on her face and the incoherient noises eminating from deep inside her. Really though I (like SIN said) am along for the ride. I want to enjoy my self, maybe laugh and have a night to remember. if I don't come so be it. If she doesn't come, well I hope that she would have but I won't be disappointed about it.

Okay just recently with my condom problems -I've been in the situation where I haven't been getting off each and every time. I've made sure that she has however.

I think with some guys that there is a need to satisfy a woman -even if we are fully satisfied ourselves.

I care if she cums or not, I mean really what kind of selfish prick doesnt. That being said she doesnt always, and neither do I. Doesnt mean we didnt love it.

I wasted too many years with a wife that hated sex and pretended she liked it (to "keep me quiet") to not be totally ecstatic when my partner gets off on being with me.

Not the be all and end all, but it makes the day have more sparkle.