Older Woman and a younger man (me)

[blahblah454]

Okay I am 20 right now, and I have a serious crush on a older woman at my work... I have no idea how old she is, I would say late 30's. She has a son that is 21 (she started young also) and a son that is a little older than that. I am pretty sure that she likes me also as we spend more time together at work than the bosses like. Anways I am starting to become friends with her 21 year old son also, so I dont want him to find out if I do end up doing something with his mom. Ha this sounds so crazy saying this. Anyways just wondering about any of you're guys' experiences with older people and how they worked out.

If we do end up messing around I am not totaly sure how it is going to work. I live at home and she has her kids living at her place so we would have to do it in the woods or the back of my car!

[Vincentt]

She could easy be 40ish man. So no matter what you do it sounds like a weird relationship.
So I doubt there are any long term aspects, but 'for the now' if you like her, go for it.

Of course you could end up causing fam problems or problems at work. So don't screw your self.

If she had her son at 18 she would be at least 39. So unless she was even younger...

I think you are looking at mid 40's, I think she would go for it too, miss robinson?

My friend is going out with someone 10 years older then him. I hear about all the problems, they are just both in diffrent stages of life. he is 22 so he doesn't want to think about marrage too much, but she thinks about it alot etc.

[MsNobody]

Originally Posted by blahblah454

If we do end up messing around I am not totaly sure how it is going to work. I live at home and she has her kids living at her place so we would have to do it in the woods or the back of my car!

I don't think you are quite ready for any kind of relationship.

[blahblah454]

Oh don't worry, we both know there would be no relationship involved (in the girlfriend/boyfriends sense of the word). I think she said she had her first kid when she was 16, so thats why I figure she is in her late 30's, she is a total babe though!

hey msnobody, that was kind of a joke there, don't worry

[Seaver]

I'm currently in a just-sex relationship with a 32 year old lawyer, I'm 22.

She looks 22, pays when we go out, and has a labido like you only dreamed of. We know nothing long-term was going to happen when we started... we've been pseudo-together for about 6 months now. It's great because there's no pressure, if we get too busy there's no hurt feelings. When we do get back into it we just pick up where we left off.

Then again your girl has a son older than you, which would complicate things much more. Just be careful... I'm sure he wouldnt be happy about his mom sleeping with someone younger than him.

[Martian]

I don't know exactly what you expect from this. I'd be seriously creeped out by the idea of having any sort of a relationship with a woman who has children older than I am, but I suppose if it's what you both want. Just tread carefully, there's a lot of ways this could end badly.

[OPgary]

[B]And above all else, keep it calm at work. I am not a fan of dating someone from work. Too many things can go wrong. I don't date from work, favorite bar or favorite church. Bad news. But if you are cool about it, a little fling might be new life for both of you.

[skinnymofo]

following along the lines of people above me, i believe the phrase "Do not shit where you eat" is appropriate. If you are fine with what could happen, i say go for it then, you could learn all sorts of things.

[ShaniFaye]

I can honestly say that I wouldnt "go out" with any guy that suggested sex in the back of his car

[william]

Age isn't the issue, maturity is. You obviously are not mature enough for this. Bail now - before you really look like the horse's ass that you are. You have issues w/her age and her son's. Face it - she come's w/baggage. if you can't step up to the son, you can't step up.

[BigBen]

Originally Posted by skinnymofo

Do not shit where you eat is appropriate

I was going to say this, but thought that the phrase might me considered rude and crude by others. Now that it has been said I am free to echo the comments.

This crude phrase deals with an animal instinct that ensures that we do not mess up our den, our home, our safe spot, our breeding grounds. I certainly do not mean the physical act of defecation.

Buddy, If she is sending you signals, and it sounds like she is... I would go for it. The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune! JUST DON'T SCREW UP THE OTHER PARTS OF YOUR LIFE (job, family, friends)

And finally, let me say this in parting. I want details.

[God of Thunder]

First of all, I would stop referring to someone in her later 30's as "older". ShaniFaye might come bitch-slap you around for that. She's the same age as me and I am not "old".

Second, if you are aware of the consequences, and are fine with the problems they may cause, do what you may.

[dlish]

does she have a daughter? maybe that might work out better for you..what a cool mother in law she would be

[cellophanedeity]

I'd suggest that you keep the relationship friendly, but professional. Inter-office romances don't often work out well, and if something bad happens between the two of you, it would be very awkward.

I think it would probably be for the best if you didn't sleep with someone if you're friends with their kids, who are older than you are. I think it would just result in a lot of bitterness and anger.

I have nothing against large age differences when dating as long as you get along well, but interoffice and "friends mum" tend not to be for the best.

[Coppertop]

I was involved with a coworker previously. I was 25, she was 35. She was also my boss. It was great - while it lasted. When things went to shit they really, really went to shit.

Don't be me.

[Hardknock]

Man, forget about all these naysayers. Go for it!! Both of you know for a fact that it'll be just a "fucking only" relationship. The only thing I'd worry about is fucking up things at work if it doesn't work out. Other than that, have at it.

You're only young once.

[Seeker]

Is there even the slightest possibility here that this 'older' woman just likes you as a friend. It is possible that she is looking at you in the same way that she sees her son (the 21 year old). She may just genuinely think that you are a nice kid! Don't mean she wants to 'play with you' so to speak...

[blahblah454]

Some of you seem to think I have a problem with the ages of all parties involed... this is not the case, not even in the slightest. I simply mentioned them to give a better idea of whats up, I'm no ageist, I couldnt care less how old you are. And when I say "older" I simply mean older than me, same as I say my friend is older than me even if he was born 30 days sooner than me.

I also don't see this being able to screw things up at work, if it does happen it will be really casual as both of us know it is just for fun with no seriousness intended. And it is true I am young and I will only be young once... plus I bet she could teach me a thing or two

[bing bing]

I was 20 and dating a 29 year old woman from uni. It ended when she realised that she'll be wanting kids and marriage and all that stuff soon. Was a good 6 months looking back though. Hook in brother!

[blktour]

well as of right now i am 21 and i am in a relationship with an older women. she is 29 years old. she has a 4 year old son and we all get along really great!! she is great. given we are in different parts of our lives and she is moving and she wants me to go with her and i am really thinking about it. she is very mature and so am i. ( unlike most of the girls my age around here. all they want to do is party !!! )
she makes me happy, and i give her the emotional support that she deserves seeing as none of the scumbags that dated her before would give her. and this girl is very beautiful also and she is well off financially, so she is a very happy go lucky type of woman. we get along great! we have never argued about anything. we talk and lay all issues on the table.. and we just had a conversation last night about the big L word.
its weird. she makes me feel great!! and i ahve only known her for about 7 months.
this girl is great and she is one of the best people that i have met in my life. she teaches me things that she has been through. i think im very smart about life and goals and such but she comes and brings it to me in a whole different perspective.

sorry for the rant..

but if you feel that the people around you will effect the way things in your relationship are handled.. then i think you better rethink what you are about to do.

i mean in our situation we dont care what people think, seeing as they will not be big parts of our lives. and we do only live once and we make eachother happy, so i dont see the big problem.

[powerclown]

!!! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON !!!

The age thing is no big deal, but the son thing is. Like Seaver said above, once he finds out mom is banging members of his peergroup, he might decide to come a-callin one night with 5 of his buddies and multiple crowbars!

Obi Wan's 5-Sheckel Internet Advice: Seek greener pastures elsewhere. This could too easily end in tears.

[abaya]

To me, 8 or 9 years difference is not the same as 20+ years, as seems to be the situation in the OP. Being in the same decade (20s, 30s) is a good thing... you're both in the same place in life. But then again, if it's a fuck-buddy thing, I guess there's not much to lose. One only knows after the fact... hindsight and all.

I will say that if the genders were reversed, say a 20 year old girl with a 40-some year old guy... well, it happens (an aunt and uncle of mine did it), but it creeps me out a bit. Personally, I could not have sex with someone who could be the same age as my parent.

Then again, another case for the reverse; ANOTHER aunt and uncle of mine (sheesh, my family) got married when he was 24 and she was... 44? or so. Go figure. They became quite unhappy when she started getting saggy and he was just hitting his prime... some cheating went on, shit hit the fan.

So I recommend keep it to fucking only, if you are able to do that. Work is an issue, too. I have shat where I ate in the past, and I wish I hadn't now... created some bigger social issues than was worth it.

[pig]

blah

when you say you work together, exactly what do you mean? is this lady down the hall / in another department...or is she your supervisor / close colleague? i personally say don't worry about age, don't worry about the son (although you may want to clue him in if you start throwing it around with his mom, etc); but do worry about having wild monkey sex with people at work you see every day. Regardless of what you say now, what she says now, what her attourney says now - people get all kinds of fucked up in the head when they start having the sex. Period. If your job highly depends on this woman working closely with you, then I say use that tension to your advantage, be friends, but don't try to slip it in. Too much probability of bad endings, too many other women in the world. etc