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Sage 03-29-2005 09:45 PM

Bed sharing: Yes or No?
 
I was talking with my friend today, and she let it be known that she keeps her own bed to sleep in whenever she feels "sick, or if I have cramps." I have also read articles about couples who are keeping their own rooms and beds not because they don't want to sleep together, but because it helps bring space to their relationship.

I, for one, absloutely cannot sleep without Martel next to me- if I have to sleep alone, I will stay up until my body goes to sleep from sheer exhaustion. I couldn't imagine not sharing my bed!!

What about you guys, do you sleep in the same bed with your SO? Or do you choose to sleep in totally different beds? Do you keep seperate beds to sleep in if one of you is sick/has cramps? And if so, do tell why!! :D

thesupermikey 03-29-2005 10:04 PM

there is nothing better than waking up next to the person for whom i care the most about. But there are nights when i just need to sleep alown. Maybe that will change over time, but at 22 that is how i seem to being going.

ColonelSpecial 03-29-2005 10:07 PM

I sleep alone. I love it. I don't have to worry about anyone trying to take my covers or snore in my ear. Occasionally, I will have three or four friends over and we will all end up sleeping (just that ;)) in my bed. It works out well for me.

FlunkedFlank 03-29-2005 10:28 PM

same bed, always.

we took a look at one of those Sleep Comfort mattresses to accomodate our differing tastes in mattress firmness, only discover that it's a crappy glorified air mattress.

greeneyes 03-29-2005 10:39 PM

We share a bed and I like it. When he isn't here and I have to sleep alone, I cuddle with the pillow. :)

I sleep better with him in bed, I think it is because I feel more secure. If I roll over in my sleep and he isn't there, I wake up immediately.

snowy 03-29-2005 10:44 PM

When we're in the same house we share a bed. I love sleeping with him...he's the only person I really enjoy sharing a bed with.

Now I'm sad I don't get to sleep with him tonight.

Bunnybear 03-29-2005 11:30 PM

I'd have to sleep on a pillow instead of a chest... *shudder*

StormBerlin 03-30-2005 12:02 AM

I'd always sleep with my SO. I couldn't fall asleep otherwise. Now that I've gotten out of that habit, it's hard to sleep with someone else in the same bed. I'm used to having my space :)

spived2 03-30-2005 12:09 AM

I used to have a small bed, so at times when I didn't feel like taking all the space from my SO, or I just really needed some good sleep or whatever, I would just sleep on the couch. Not as comfortable, but sometimes you just need a little space of your own to sleep on to get a little better rest.

little_tippler 03-30-2005 03:04 AM

I really love sleeping with my SO...but lately I haven't been sleeping well, partly due to the fact that he pushes into me in bed (not onpurpose, just does it in his sleep...he has interesting night time habits lol), our cats sleeping on our bed, and the fact that I'm an extra-light sleeper. I never seem to get the right amount of sleep...feeling tired today. I think I'd probably benefit from sleeping on my own occasionally, even though I miss him when he's not in the bed with me. Sadly I sleep so badly generally that it seems I might need to start doing this to get some decent rest.

thalakos315 03-30-2005 03:26 AM

i find it difficult to sleep alone actually. but when i'm sleeping with a new girl, the first night i don't sleep at all. the second night i might get a little sleep, by the third, i'm fine ;)

i don't know what causes me to lose sleep when i'm alone/with somebody new, it just happens. :/

cyrnel 03-30-2005 03:28 AM

It depends on how things are going for me, her, and our relationship.

The best, most restful sleep I've ever had was with my (now-ex) SO.
The worst, most horriffic red-eye nightmare of a wasted evening was with my (now-ex) SO.

Still, the goods outweigh the bads by a wide margin, so I'll always keep trying.

ShaniFaye 03-30-2005 04:14 AM

I cant sleep without Dave....when he's out of town for work its awful because I cant stay asleep..I have to echo what greeneyes said...he makes me feel safe....if he wakes up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the nite I wake up immediately.

I can take naps without him with little trouble...although I miss the snuggly time, but at nite he has to be there for me to sleep well.

doncalypso 03-30-2005 04:35 AM

I have my own apartment and she has hers. At times she sleeps over at my place, and at other times I sleep over at her place.

But regardless of how much two people love one another it's always good to take some time apart once in a a while.

Redlemon 03-30-2005 04:40 AM

If you are a light sleeper (like my wife) and your SO moves around during the night (me), get yourself a Tempur-Pedic mattress. It is one of our top-three most constantly useful purchases, alongside the TiVo and the iPod. My wife sleeps way better, because the motion doesn't carry across the mattress, and I don't move as much either. So yes, we do sleep in the same bed.

*Nikki* 03-30-2005 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StormBerlin
I'd always sleep with my SO. I couldn't fall asleep otherwise. Now that I've gotten out of that habit, it's hard to sleep with someone else in the same bed. I'm used to having my space :)

This describes me exactly. Since my relationship is currently long distance when we do sleep together I toss and turn most nights. I sleep best alone bc I have gotten so used to it these past couple of years.

Shady 03-30-2005 06:32 AM

My SO and I have seperate apartments, but I sleep over at hers probably 4 nights a week. I'd rather sleep with her than not, but it is nice to sleep alone every once in a while.

Acetylene 03-30-2005 06:46 AM

If I sleep by myself, the zombies might get me!!!!

braisler 03-30-2005 06:59 AM

We share the same bed. I have some close contact issues interfering with our ability to cuddle together as we fall asleep. But that is for another thread. I echo the sentiments on the Tempurpedic mattress. We got one when we moved into our new house. They are fantastic! I highly recommend them to anyone wanting a more restful night's sleep... with or without a partner.

tres 03-30-2005 07:09 AM

This is an intersting topic.. When we first moved in together.. We used her bed and since she has back problems, she has a very hard bed. Me... Can't sleep on it for many nights without creating back problems of myown.. We eneded up getting a Sleep Number bed. This way we can adjust each side of the bed to the way we like.

As far as sleeping goes.. When I used to sleep alone... I always wanted her right next to me..and I still prefer it that way..She has issues sometimes sleeping when I'm not home. But one thing we agree on is every now and then, the sleep I get when we are alone is much better. I guess maybe cause I can use up the whole bed and stuff. We would never consider sleeping in different beds though, we like snuggling too much.

raeanna74 03-30-2005 07:57 AM

Oh wow has this been a subject of constant adjustment. I don't "keep" a bed for myself. BUT

Hubby CAN be a restless sleeper. Before he had to take anti-siezure medications he would have night terrors and "sleep fight" which made it sometimes dangerous to sleep with him. He also has sleep apnea and snores louder than a saw mill at times. I personally can sleep quite lightly. So when circumstands mandate it I sleep elseware. I always return to our bed as soon as the circumstances allow.

Reasons I've slept in a separate bed on a regular basis:
After my c-section when I was nursing my daughter I co-slept with her on the sofa bed for about 6 months.
When hubby was having night terrors nearly every night I would actually sneak off to the sofa after he went to sleep. (I have ended up with a black eye and other odd injuries.)
When I was babysitting until midnight every night I slept on the couch until they picked up their kid. Then because hubby tends spread out and take up the whole bed (full size at the time) and because he's such a heavy sleeper I could never find a place to even lay down so would stay on the couch for the remainder of the night.
My daughter has a full size bed and when she's been sick I often will sleep with her since our bed it up some steap stairs that can be difficult to navigate late at night.

xxSquirtxx 03-30-2005 09:50 AM

We sleep together, but I don't mind sleeping alone either. If I'm not feeling well, I'll sleep on the couch if I think I'll keep him awake. But for the most part, we sleep in the same bed 99% of the time.

Charlatan 03-30-2005 09:58 AM

We sleep together. I don't think we would have it any other way...

Though, when I travel, I like being able to spread out... but after a few days, it just gets lonely.

The bed is too big without her...

veruca 03-30-2005 10:25 AM

I cannot sleep without the husby. When he goes out of town for more than a day, I am a zombie, since I can only get about 3 hours of sleep.

cowgirl02 03-30-2005 10:48 AM

i wish that we could sleep together, but we are far apart (long distance crap) but every chance that we have to sleep together we do. I ABSOLUTELY love sleeping with him, just waking up and seeing his face first thing in the morning is the greatest feeling ever!!

ratbastid 03-30-2005 11:36 AM

Mostly we sleep together. However sometimes lurkette's twitching (she chases bunnies in her sleep) gets to be too much and I either go to the guest room or, more likely, kick her out to sleep in the guest room. We bought a king-size bed to minimize the incidence of kick-out, but sometimes it's just too much.

Sometimes our best friends D & S sleep over with us and share our bed. That's nice, but they both snore. I usually excuse myself to another place when, between the twitching and the snoring, I find myself wide awake at 3:00am.

It sucks being a light sleeper.

cellophanedeity 03-30-2005 11:45 AM

My Love and I sleep together whenever we can. Which is not often. Though I wake up more frequently, as I'm not quite used to sleeping with someone, as I've slept alone for eighteen years running) I fall into sleep faster.

I think it's because then I don't need to work my mind thinking about him. And I feel safer. I'm just a big baby and noises in the dark scare me without him.

YaWhateva 03-30-2005 11:51 AM

We usually do not have the opportunity except on rare ocassions, but when we do its so great. I just love waking up next to her in the morning.

Sugar&Spice 03-30-2005 11:58 AM

We have separate apartments, but we alternate spending the night with each other. Its just nice to have someone to cuddle up next to because whenever I go to bed my feet are really cold and I get to stick them between his thighs to warm them up!

liquidlight 03-30-2005 11:59 AM

I sleep alone by circumstance rather than desire. . . any of you lovely TFP ladies interested in helping me fix that?

DAMN I'm smooth! :)

Honestly I got really used to sharing a bed with my ex, been divorced over 3 years now and I still find it difficult to sleep alone.

WillyPete 03-30-2005 12:01 PM

I have slept in the foldout, but that was only when I was up all night with a bad chest cold and she needed her sleep due to heavy work load.

It hasn't happened often, but I tell you, you earn serious brownie points.
"Oh....you poor thing, you're so thoughtful..."

Cynthetiq 03-30-2005 12:04 PM

I don't like to not sleep next to Skogafoss.

she's usually sleepy earlier than myself so sometimes I just go cuddle for a bit until she's ready to fall asleep then go back to the living room.

i don't like it when we're separated for travel/jobs but that's just what it is and the breaks are nice, but I still miss the person on that side of the bed.

SonnyBono 03-30-2005 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowgirl02
i wish that we could sleep together, but we are far apart (long distance crap) but every chance that we have to sleep together we do. I ABSOLUTELY love sleeping with him, just waking up and seeing his face first thing in the morning is the greatest feeling ever!!

We are the same way. 70 miles apart, different schools. I miss it a lot during the week. But the weekends are always fun.

Sage 03-30-2005 03:32 PM

oh Sonny, I totally symphathize!! Martel and I did schools that were two and a half hours apart for all of last spring semester, and he used to drive back and forth every single weekend to be with me! it was sooo sweet!

poor baby!! :icare:

Grasshopper Green 03-30-2005 04:07 PM

I chose other, because although we do sleep in the same bed, I actually prefer to sleep alone. We have different sleep schedules and when he comes to bed he wakes me up and then I toss and turn the rest of the night. I also find it difficult to sleep with someone laying-this-close-to-me, for the same reason...his movements will wake me up and keep my up.

MexicanOnABike 03-30-2005 04:12 PM

yup! when ever i'm with her, we sleep in the same bed... which is not often ... 2/3times a week... stupid skool and wurk! it sux.

Gilda 03-30-2005 05:23 PM

We share a bed, but Grace occasionally has to work the night shift. It's very diffiicult for me when we're not sleeping together at night, so much so that when she works the night shift during the summer, I rearrange my sleep times to match hers. I get up at 2 pm, we share the evening together, and I do the domestic stuff and entertain myself between midnight and 8:00 am, then sleep from 8 to about 2 or a little later if we decide to make love before sleeping. It's a weird transition for those first few days, but it just seems natural after about the first week.

Skelington 03-30-2005 06:06 PM

We sleep together when we can. but living 6 hours apart makes that hard. i love falling asleep with his arms around me and waking up to see him in the mornings.

Skelington 03-30-2005 06:37 PM

i forgot something, when he left to go back home, he left me one of his shirts to sleep with. its okay, cause it smells like him (he smells amazing!) but his shirt can't hug back like he can.

Soggybagel 03-30-2005 10:54 PM

Not to hijack this thread but I seriously had a really good Michael Jackson joke ready for this thread.


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