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-   -   Do you miss the hunt? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/81344-do-you-miss-hunt.html)

healer 01-19-2005 05:42 AM

Do you miss the hunt?
 
This is really for guys in committed, monogomous relationships, but could very well apply to the ladies as well.

Men are hunters (or so we've been led to believe). For me there was nothing better than seeing a hot woman, making eye-contact, stalking her skillfully and going in for the kill :) The thrill of the chase and what-not.

But since i've been going out with my current girlfriend (almost 2 years), I've found that it's a part of my social life that I do kinda miss. I mean, one has to wonder if one still has it...

So my question is simply this: Do you miss the thrill of the chase and the sweet taste of victory, or are you quite happy to stay at home and be content?

Bookman 01-19-2005 05:45 AM

Develope your immagination. I have had sex with hundreds of women over the last 5 years....in my mind.

d*d 01-19-2005 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healer

Men are hunters (or so we've been led to believe).

:lol: what a way to justify getting horny for other women, do you still get urges to track down and kill your food as well. Finding other women attractive will never go away even if you are in a blissfully happy relationship.

the subtext here is that you want sex with other women, which is fine. I personally don't miss the "hunt" now, I still notice attractive women but have no wish to act upon it

Charlatan 01-19-2005 06:12 AM

I still get the urge to go out and chase other women but not as much as I did when I was younger... More to the point, I am busy enough with my famliy that I stay out of situations where I could get myself into trouble.

I don't expect the desire will ever go away...

By the way, I am in year 12 of marriage and year 16 of being with the same woman...

I suppose I should answer the question do I miss it... yes and no. Yes because there was always a thrill involved and no, because the chase gets real boring real fast.

ultra_agent9 01-19-2005 06:29 AM

Yes, the thrill of the chase is exciting. But once you conquer, it can get boring quite fast. I'm talking about stalking "prey" rather than romancing the girl of your dreams.

The grass ALWAYS looks greener on the other side, it took me years to finally realise that. If you're happy then be thankful for what you have...

/still looking
//but will never stop "looking"

doncalypso 01-19-2005 06:48 AM

I have been with my girlfriend for three years, three months, and one day.... In all honesty I don't miss "the hunt" because I was never a hunter to begin with. Oh I did try to "play the game" and "go on the hunt" when I was younger, but all I ended up with was rejection and humiliation.

What I've learned from the school of hard knocks is that if you look you will never find because women run away from guys who seek female attention. Instead, just focus on getting on with your life, and if you're already in a relationship enjoy it while it lasts because only God knows how hard it is to get into a relationship when you've been single forever.

boredom 01-19-2005 09:46 AM

hate the hunt bunch of bs, its an evil incarnation of the Adult Conspiricy!

StephenSa 01-19-2005 10:48 AM

I'm married and thought about this the other day. I don't miss the "hunt" per se. Actually going out to bars and the like trolling for girls gets old quick. I miss the surprise. Like when you meet a girl and that night end up at her place and as the two of you are about to go at it thinking "I can't BELIEVE this is happening!" You know, the suprise that you are getting sex you completely didn't expect and the newness of being with a person for the first time. My life now as a happly married person is much better than when I was single and the companionship and sex with the wife are great but I will admit I sometimes miss the surprise.

clavus 01-19-2005 11:02 AM

The hunt? Screw that! I was terrible at it. I was always amazed when I actually ended up with a girl. I'd think to myself, "How the Hell did this happen?" Then about ten years ago I married a woman that was SO far out of my league. So why would I want to go around chasing someone who is second rate?

Seriously, at least once a week I look at my wife and think "Wow. I get to sleep with THAT?! What the Hell did I do right? There's no way I should be able to hook up with her, and yet, here I am..."

Cimarron29414 01-19-2005 11:06 AM

Play a game with your SO - have her go to a bar before you. Then show up and meet her all over again. You would be really surprised how much fun that is. You don't even have to be the same two people. Either way, I think you will find it satisfies your longing for the hunt and you are pretty much guaranteed sex for being so creative.

Acetylene 01-19-2005 12:05 PM

Yeah, like Cimarron says, stalk your SO! Make a game out of it. Even get really literal and sneak through the house on tiptoe until you pounce and carry her off to your "lair" (bed). If she is too willing and it isn't fun, tickle her ;)

johnsimon885 01-19-2005 12:56 PM

I hear where you're coming from. I definetly apply more of my brain when I'm courting than in an actual relationship...probably a fault of mine, but it seems like once they like you it's kind of on autopilot. Sure, you still think of ways to make them happy and such, but it doesn't seem to carry the same amount of danger at all, and requries less trickery.

Probably one of my favorite parts of any relationship is that first kiss, it's pretty indescribable. Of course, that's a poor reason to break up with someone! And I'm not a cheater, so I'll let what happens happen. But if I did end up single for some reason, there would be that to keep me busy.

StanT 01-19-2005 01:02 PM

I make better prey. It's a good thing my wife picked me up or I'd still be single.

mistered 01-19-2005 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acetylene
Yeah, like Cimarron says, stalk your SO! Make a game out of it. Even get really literal and sneak through the house on tiptoe until you pounce and carry her off to your "lair" (bed). If she is too willing and it isn't fun, tickle her ;)

This is great advice! I stalk my SO all the time. It's fun!!!! OK, she isn't my SO yet, but she will be!!!!!!!! I know the way she takes home from work!!!!!

Carno 01-19-2005 03:12 PM

lmfao.. stalking is a valid form of courtship in my book :)

Suave 01-19-2005 10:19 PM

I'm not committed, but I wanted to say that I hate the hunt. I'd rather my "prey" just come to me and offer herself up in sacrifice.

drakers 01-20-2005 05:56 AM

To be truthful I wasn't very good at the chase part, so I'm glad that one girl like me enough to marry me, but I wouldn't dwell on that too much. Unless you know you don't want to be in a committed relationship with your girlfriend.

Daoust 01-20-2005 06:11 AM

A lot of us seem to be in the same book, where the 'hunt' took a long time, and the 'catch' were rare, (we're not all great hunters, myself included) so when we finally caught our trophy buck/doe we learned to be content. Myself, I spent far too long fantasing about the perfect mate and waiting for a committed relationship when I was single. So I don't want to go back to that. I'm perfectly happy in my marriage and don't want anything or anyone else. Yes, there are times when I think 'man it would be nice to tap that 19 year old' but I know in reality it would never happen, or if it ever did happen I would ruin my current state of realized happiness for perceived fictional happiness. Not worth it.

ratbastid 01-20-2005 06:14 AM

Oh my GOD am I glad I don't have to deal with dating anymore. Just having a little bit of certainty from day to day is all I ask.

Redlemon 01-20-2005 06:32 AM

Hunt? I was completely clueless in high school. If anything, I was the hunted. I have no idea how I ended up in the relationships that I was in.

Now, I love my wife. Sure, I fantasize, but I can't imagine that there is anyone out there that matches me as well as she does.

HalcyonDaze 01-20-2005 11:25 AM

I think sometimes in a committed relationship you remember those few moments when you're first hooking up with someone new, and begin to miss them--especially when it's been a year or two. But when you're single again and realize that you only had those moments every other month or so, and spent the rest of the time playing Tetris alone in your living room, you realize the hunt isn't that great. Eventually, you manage to remember that throughout a relationship, and that's when marriage happens. :-P

noodles 01-20-2005 11:29 AM

i don't hunt. i'm no good at it, never have been. relationship or no.


i'm more like one of those big holes that you cover with twigs and leaves and when someone comes walking across me they fall in and can't escape unless they're really smart or i let them out. or if they're really tall.

c172g 01-20-2005 12:58 PM

i enjoyed the hunt in college, but I'm married for almost ten years to the love of my life with two great kids. Do I go out sometimes & think how great it would be to get in the sack with another girl? Sure. I still live in my home town, so at Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. a lot of the old girlfriends are around and god knows in twenty minutes at the bar you could probably be home with any one of them in a lot of cases. My wife & I are very comfortable with being monogamous, and both of us can go out to dinner & "appreciate" a good looking person without the other getting pissed off.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but most of my friends who are single at 35 wish they had what I do. If it's the right person, there won't be any doubt.

Hardknock 01-20-2005 01:21 PM

Come to think of it, not really. Maybe it's all the diseases that you can potentially catch that has turned me off to the hunt. You can't just go around fucking anything anymore. Besides, I've become a major advocate of married sex. It can be totally awesome if the person you're with is totally uninhibited and she can be herself and enjoy herself. Somebody you just brought home from the club isn't going to be anywhere near that level of comfort in bed.

Unless she was crazy drunk. :rolleyes:

Catmandu 01-20-2005 01:33 PM

The hunt... You must mean that time in my life when I was the only one without a girl. And that lasted from puberty until age 23. I hated every moment of it. It was especially bad in college in the 70s because I lived in a fraternity with a bunch of good-looking predators. It made my failures look even worse. Give me dull married life any day.

c172g 01-21-2005 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catmandu
It was especially bad in college in the 70s because I lived in a fraternity with a bunch of good-looking predators. It made my failures look even worse. Give me dull married life any day.

Ahh, the frat house. One guy picked up a good case of crabs from a chick & the whole damn house had to be fogged. Stuff going around? I remember one morning a brother picked up a rather "loose" chick a few nights before, got up to take a piss & started screaming..."pissing lightning" as we used to say (clap, clap)! We had two or three of the 35 of us that scored regularly, and the rest of us picked up the scraps after the parties. Especially good was Monday night meeting where everyone who scored had to tell their tales afterwards...always good for a few laughs. My era was late 80's early 90's.

Kalnaur 01-21-2005 08:24 AM

Am I attracted to other women besides my wife? Yes.

Am I more attracted to them than my wife? Nope.

I'd figure this is because I am both content and lazy. I never liked looking for women before my wife, and she was the only woman in my life up to the time I met her that I really felt happy about being around, connected to and in syncronization with in any way.

In short, no, I do not miss "the chase". I hated games then, and I hate them now.

erion 01-21-2005 10:17 AM

Don't miss it at all.

Frankly, now that I have a woman in my life where I pretty much know what to expect in a given situation, why would I miss the process that would require me to have to figure someone from scratch again.

I'm comfortable not hunting/gathering anymore, thanks. That doesn't mean the two of us don't see/comment on a good looking member of the opposite, or even same sex, we just can't imagine having to date again.

Crimson 02-07-2005 06:03 AM

I always miss it. But I find how much I am 'into' my SO will determine how much I miss the hunt. If we are out at a club, and I am checking out other women, there is usually a reason.

I've turned a few relationships into friendships that way..it works better in the end.

little_tippler 02-07-2005 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus
The hunt? Screw that! I was terrible at it. I was always amazed when I actually ended up with a girl. I'd think to myself, "How the Hell did this happen?" Then about ten years ago I married a woman that was SO far out of my league. So why would I want to go around chasing someone who is second rate?

Seriously, at least once a week I look at my wife and think "Wow. I get to sleep with THAT?! What the Hell did I do right? There's no way I should be able to hook up with her, and yet, here I am..."

:lol: you're a laugh. Your wife must really LOVE you :thumbsup:

Elusive Dreamer 02-07-2005 01:32 PM

i don't know if it's because i'm a woman, but isn't that why you're in a relationship that's committed?? because you don't feel the need to "chase and date around" ? i don't get it. you men sometimes just drive me nuts. you say you want one thing, then see some hot young thing in a mini skirt, look at your current woman that's in a hoodie and just think, damn... and sigh like you're trapped or something. you may have caught me on a bad day, but dude, if you miss the hunt, why are you committed? i'm in a relationship that's monogomous because he's the only person i want to be with. i have no desire to be with anyone else, nor am i looking or do i miss looking. truthfully... i know what's out there, i'm sick of the cliche pick up lines, stupid scene of dating, casual sex feeling... etc. i know what i want, and that's who i'm with. sorry, your entry just hit a bad nerve on the wrong day... but think about it.

kollege_gal2000 02-07-2005 01:49 PM

I agree with Elusive, but then again, I'm a girl also. I've had my fair share of one time things, and quite frankly, I would never want to go back to that. I was never into the cat calls, and the males sniffing around to see if they were going to get some. I found the person I want to be with, and I would never change that. It is frustrating when your man sees something young and hot, and you see in his eyes that desire to want to "hit that" or at least try to "hit it". What is up with that??

Crimson 02-07-2005 07:40 PM

As has been mentioned before, it is the thrill of the 'hunt' and not of the 'kill' (if you will excuse the macho terms; they work in this analogy)

IC3 02-07-2005 08:20 PM

I think this is the reason why alot (Not all) of girls think they are goddess's, Cause guy's chase them around like they are gold, And that's what gives these girl's these prissy attitudes and that they are so hot and too good for you.

Not too long ago i was paying for my food at subway, I heard the door ding and i just happened to look back and the girl that came in was pretty nice looking..She was standing down by the end of the line and I happened to look down at her as she was looking up at me. I paid for my food and started walking towards her and she kinda leans forward and arches her back so her ass is more noticeable..I just kept walkin.

Just from her doing that, She saying, look at my sexy ass. No thanks. If i wanna get laid that bad, Ill go get a hooker. I was actually gonna stop and say something if she had of turned her head and looked at me when i was walking towards her, That would have made me more interested in her than her perkin up her ass.

To answer the question, Last time i chased a girl i was like..18 or 19. I don't miss it much.

tres 02-12-2005 08:53 PM

While yes.. it would be easy for the "prey" to offer themselves to me.. I like the hunt. I've been with my girl for 9months and still like the idea of the hunt. I have no desire to be with someone else..but wanna know that I can still make it happen. Matter of fact, before my girl I did just that.. different woman as often as possible..but I always felt guilty after the sex. I like the hunt... and I'm very happy with what I have.

Baron Opal 02-13-2005 02:49 AM

Not in the least. I never got any thrill from the hunt, it was always a chore. Once I had some kind of relationship, then the fun began.

iccky 03-02-2005 08:36 PM

I dunno

I'm fairly happy in this relationship (almost 3 years). But then a few weeks ago I went to Montreal with a bunch of friends for a model UN conference (our team motto is "a drinking team with a model UN problem"). Now, if you've never been to Montreal, lets just say its a crazy town. Lots of beautiful women and the booze flows very liberally.

So the last night we're at a dance club and I'm in a spectacular mood and start dancing. And start dancing with this beautiful chick. And there was just this energy there, this sexual tension. I move a little bit closer, she moves closer, I touch her here, do I dare to touch her there? And if I had picked her up and gone back to her place those moments, that delicious tension would have continued, and while the sex probably wouldn't have been anything incredible and certainly not worth the guilt of cheating on my girlfriend, those moments would have been spectacular.

And I just don't get those in my relationship anymore. We're very comfortable with each other; we sleep together naked every night, do anything in bed, grab each other as we walk around the apartment (again, almost always naked). And I enjoy it, but the flip side of it is that there's no sexual tension, no thrill of the chase, no mystery, no seduction. And I realize that if I was single those moments would be every month or so if I was lucky, and that I suck at the chase and if I was single I'd just sit around my apartment most nights. But if that tension, those moments, are what you mean by "the hunt" then yes, I miss it.

insidious_machinae 03-03-2005 01:57 PM

This message has been deleted.

blizzak 03-03-2005 07:13 PM

I was never on the hunt heh....was just lucky enough to find someone that I really like and who likes me back.

Been more than 3 months now and I am still in awe. Maybe it's just the way I am but I don't even consider the attractiveness of other girls anymore.

Hampshire 03-03-2005 08:25 PM

all tho i love my partner very much, i do sometime miss the game of attraction , but most of the time i am more than pleased with what i have, we still flirt wherever we go even to this day


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