attracted to geeks
 

okay, after reading another thread and thinking about my past experiences, i had to start this thread.

why are people attracted to geeks? several people mentioned stereotypically nerdy guys are attractive, and i have a gay friend who is also attracted to geeky guys. what's the deal?

if you are attracted to geeky members of either sex, let us know why. thx

They're smart. Beauty fades, but stupid is forever.

Given a basic level of hygiene and attractiveness, I'd take a geek over somebody who works out any day.

Lurkette, you just summed up my first wife as succinctly as anything I've ever heard.

brains have a beauty/sexiness all their own, Id rather have a geek than a "hot model" type anyday

I've always concidered words like "geek" and "nerd" to mean socially inept as opposed to smart.

mmm i love geeks, its just so fun to be challenged mentally.

Word meanings have certainly changed and are changing faster than ever now. At one time the word "geek" was synonymous with "Circus Freak." Then like you said it changed to mean socially inept.

"Nerd" at least to my mind, has always meant the same thing; it's the antithesis of "Jock." That is to say, someone more insterested in acadamia than athletics.

But I digress, both "geek" and "nerd" seem to mean the same thing now.... and I am proud to be one (and engaged to one :)).

Yeah, this whole fascination with geeks really torques me off now.

20 years ago, I was a geek in HS. People found my fascination with computers and techy stuff to be a real turn off. If I mentioned video games, techy toys (watches and calculators were about it at the time), modems, BBS's, and later the Internet, to any member of the opposite sex and, man, watch her run for the hills.

If I were in HS now, I'd be the f*cking king of the hill and I haven't changed since HS.

:confused:

Actually, I think my smarts intimidated them more than anything (I had an older girlfriend of an older friend tell me that once).

I guess I was just ahead of my time.

I nominate this quote for hall of fame.:lol:

I laughed my ass off at that!

Geek does mean socially inept, and it also means smart because generally (and unfortunatly) the smarter someone is the less adjusted socially they are.

Im at my job right now (tech support for a college) and we all are glad not to ever have to talk to people.... fuckin people...

Usually smart people overthink the actions of other people (who are mostly dumb and whose actions actually require no analysis). Also, smart people are more contemptuous of the daily stupidity from living in a society run by monkeys (yes its more than just the main monkey). And that doesn't always make for someone fun to talk to...

My ex girlfreind likes geeky guys. I finnaly thought I was cool when I got a girlfriend (especially since shes a 10), but then I started to noticing who else caught her eye... god dammit.

I'd say that normally I'm not attracted to the geeky type. But my boyfriend is that type. And I hate to even say that he is a type. Classifications are annoying.

Anyway, I love my geek :) He's smart, he's into different things than I am, he makes me laugh, he's really driven with his job. I admire those things about him.

I think we all have a bit of geek in us. We just geek out over different things.

I dont really know about that, i hate to sound like i'm sucking my own dick, but I can sit down with someone and hold my own in a discussion about metaphysics but at the same time, i can sit down and watch a football game, and i know/spend a lot of time with plenty of people who live in fraternities.

My hunny is a geek. I tell him that all the time. But that doesn't mean he's 'socially inept'. He has a brain, but he's also a giant dork, and again, he's very social with all types of people. :love:

My girlfriend has a shirt that says Dork Magnet on the front. So I guess she qualifies. As to why, well, I'm still trying to figure that one out.

I'm attracted to goth chicks. While not a geek, necessarily, they are certainly in the "outcast" category.

Also, the geeky people are so desperate they are more likely to hook up with you!

Geeks are the best type of people. They're more interesting, more fun to talk with. Also, though I hate stereotypes like this, I find that, more often than not, they're not afraid to be themselves...

A friend from university once told me that she spent all of highschool trying to hide her dorkiness/geekiness and that I've made her embrace it, just because I like to flaunt my dorkiness. I personally take that as a compliment. :p

I just dig chicks with glasses.

well, I consider myself a nerd, so like calls to like, I suppose.

$$$$MONEY$$$$
I'm sure there are about 999 billion women who wish they dated Bill Gates in high school.

I'm actually very attracted to women with glasses, but I attribute that to the fact that I'm very open in my choosing of women. Don't get me wrong; I'm very shallow, but I'm also one who chooses inner beauty over outer beauty, and I guess I'm like Shallow Hal, where inner beauty usually projects itself to me as if it were outer beauty.

I am a geek myself (also notably a woman with glasses) and so it's only right that I would be attracted to my kind. :) I mean...I really dig all kinds of geeky things--I like to read, I can fix my own computer, I am NOT hopeless when it comes to technology, and I love Star Trek. :P

Being an intelligent woman (I'd like to think I've established myself as such here at TFP) I am genuinely attracted to intelligent men. Nothing turns me on more than a man's ability to be intellectual. It's just so hot. Really.

Ok here's the straight dope. I am smart. I like to have conversations and I don't like to talk about simple things. Regular people BORE ME. Give me a geek who can entertain my brain, please.

Where the hell were you girls when I was getting the shit kicked outta me by guys and stuff thrown at me by girls all the way up to fifth grade and part of 8th and 9th?

It's amazing how shallow people are. I lose the glasses and all of a sudden "Who's that guy?" and now I'm "HOT!" but they're just some stupid metal frames over my eyes. My face still looks the same as always, I'm still the same guy personality wise but girls wouldn't give me the time of day till I got contact lenses. Then for whatever reason my contacts tore I'd have to wear my glasses again and certain girls think "Wow you look even hotter with your glasses on!" I don't get women. :| Makes me think if it was really the contacts or not then...or if thats just what made them notice me and after that it didn't matter anymore.

Yes I was kind of smart but not a genius...I was able to carry conversation with the "cool" people and make em laugh and wanna have me around and all that. So I don't think it's the smarts...I really just think it's the freakin glasses. People associate them with being smart. Not "Oh he must be visually impaired" Case in point..I was in summer school (SUMMER SCHOOL!) and we're all doing a test and this girl and guy are just painfully obviously leaning over to look at my test. I told them "You know I don't really know these answers right? I'm just putting down any answer to get it over with." They said "Oh I don't care." I can't see you assholes I'm not a freakin genius! :p

I was a little smart though..I can write well and things like that..I'm terrible at math..typical "nerds" and "geeks" excell in math over every other subject. I liked Science..animals & bugs n stuff...still do. No smarter than your typical intelligent person but I had a little thing called common sense that just BLOWS people away you wouldn't believe it. BAH! I need a cookay! :|

Asta!!

Dude, I was always attracted to the shy, quiet, geeky types. Problem is, they're frequently scared away by loud, assertive, aggressive women. So there we reach a bit of an impasse. But luckily I've found ways past it now!

So true....so true.

Asta!!

what about someone who has a basic level of hygeine and attractiveness, is a geek, AND works out?

Would that be the perfect guy?

i'm a reasonably intelligent person and i am attracted to the same. i enjoy a few stereotypical geeky activities and i want a partner who shares my interests.

my hs didn't fit the hollywood stereotype though. we didn't have a group of people set aside as "geeks" or really any other group. we didn't even have a "popular" crowd. the only people i remember getting made fun of were the ones who had questionable personal hygiene.

Gee I wonder if he's describing himself..hmmm :hmm:

Asta!!

You have no proof! :thumbsup:

Where were you when I was in highschool? :confused:

Man, where were all you guys who like smart women in glasses when I was in high school, captaining the Knowledge Bowl team??? :lol:

Haha we were too nerdy to be noticed.

Asta!!

I mentioned to a gal that I'm a math major, and she gave me her number!

I supose it's the strong correlation between intelligence and humor. Just about all successful stand-up comedians did well in school.

So I guess it's because we're smart and funny too.

Yeah, really... :rolleyes:

I'm going to have to go against the crowd here and say I'm not at all attracted to geeky/nerdy/dorky types. I don't want some girl who wants to sit at home on a saturday night and read or watch documentaries on tv. I want a girl who go out and have fun. Confidence and outgoingness are two traits a girl must have if I am to date her and you generally won't find these with the geeks.

Sure you will--I know PLENTY of geeks who want to get out and party. I'm one of them. Geeks are usually just looking for opportunity to do so...

maybe if they had some CONFIDENCE they might get the opportunity.

nerds haven't had that many girls, so they know to cherish a woman when they hook up with one. as to where all these guys who's been through woman after woman so they don't cherish them, but rather take them for granted. in the end nerds treat the ladies better.

My Gf and I are happy being geeks, it just means we can have stimulating conversations about anything. And be smart around eachother, brains over being attractive anyday.

Hmm.... Nice abs in pictures, great for intellectual discussions and a Heinlen Sci Fi fan.... gaming nerd .... do we need more evidence? :p

I've just found that most of the nerds and geeks I meet have their own personality and opinions and do not just become brainwashed by whatever is most popular in pop society. As a result, they hold my interest, keep my mind active and curious, and make time FLY by.

Believe me when I say that is NOT the case at all. The whole geek love thing is definitely more of a 20+ phenomenon, when people are less insecure and psychotic. If you were in HS now, you'd be in a similar boat to before (maybe a little higher in the water, but very similar).

I think one of the reasons people are attracted to nerds is that they're passionate about something generally. Nerdliness is sort of defined by unhealthy obsession with something or another (you can be smart an un-nerdly, and you can be lacking in social skills and un-nerdly; they just happen to stereotypically come with the territory), and as such, most of the nerds whom I've known who stayed true to form were very energetic when probed in the right way (I may even fit into the category ;) ).

Plus, I personally think nerdy girls can be really cute. I like people who might seem a little strange or akward, because then I don't feel quite so akward and strange myself.

back in highschool 1982-1986, back when I was actually cute, the only guys I hung out with were the "nerds" other wise known as the gifted students..the ones in the latin club, and the chess club etc. I've ALWAYS loved guys like that

so...intelligence, passion, and the ability to be oneself?

You've got it :)

So some girls like geek( for real??? )

My pick up lines from now on:

You are just as awesome as the half life 2 source engine...

Hey girl you want to be my linux server tonight..

Hey girl are you open source or do i have to buy the rights for you...

Hey there what p2p program do you use...

Hey want to team up and capture the flag at my place...

I just think i diddent make a sucess save on youer charm level 19 spell

sure im gonna pick up girls tomorrow night :hmm:

LOL those are awesome :D

I dunno, I've never been attracted to geeky girls. I prefer people who are more active. I go to a technical college and all of the women here are geeky, just too different than me.

Excellent. Nancy did say she wanted an FFM this year. Go out there and find a 3rd! WIth these lines you cannot fail. :thumbsup:

It drives me nuts that being a geek is cool and trendy now. People want be geek now, and make that their way of being "cool", but don't want to go through the pain of getting beat up and picked on in school all the time, or being truly socially awkward. I am probably just jealous, because I totally missed the boat.

That being said, my current girlfriend, while not necessarily being a geek, definately has her geeky qualities, and is very much an individual, which is a huge turn on.

Everyone has geeky qualities. When you get so passionate about something that all else falls away, you are 'geeking' out. :)
Being a geek has always been cool or trendy. It just doesn't hit until people are in their 20s or 30s. High school is socially awkward for everyone. High school is 300 people shoved together for four years all trying to figure out who they are. Tough stuff there for sure.

Stunning cunts!!

Asta!!

Indeed..


What the hell does that mean? :confused:

i just skimmed this thread but for me smart is BEYOND sexyness. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: my first three g/f's were beyond smart. I LOVED THAT!

What should i go out and score a girl that nancy and her BF could use sexsualy hell no!!!

I call 'BS' on this theory
 

Somehow everyone professes to love the geek, yet they don't live up to it. Most of this is mere talk and theory.

True story:
I once knew a guy who might have been described as a geek (and no, I'm not talking about myself). He was quite smart and a political science major, as well. A very sharp, very opinionated guy. Not only that, he was also quite handsome (at least as far as I can judge, looking at another guy). He wasn't overly shy or socially inept; he had a great sense of humor. And no, he wasn't a homosexual. Yet somehow, he couldn't get a girlfriend to save his life. Why is that? Why did someone who was in every way a perfect 'candidate' for a relationship always end up alone?

If you ask me, a significant part of 'finding someone' is pure luck and some people just don't have it.

yeah, i've never heard anyone say "i'm attracted to geeks" or anything like that.

I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that a lot of women are geeks themselves and people are attracted to like minds. I'm a self proclaimed geek dating an "in the closet" geek.

She will deny that she's a geek and in the same breath go on about her love of fantasy novels, astronamy, and DUNGEONS and DRAGONS.

hmmm, i've never played D and D before. i hear a lot about it though.

Dude you just described me. Cept for that political science shit.

Asta!!

Well actually one time at a party there was this girl i had met once before and well i were sitting there talking to hear... well all of a suddon one of man buddys comes over and says hey we are playing DnD at my palce tomorrow night and then this girl says.. You play roleplay... Well im not afraid to admit it so i says yeah I do... And she says dont you feel a littel like a geek... so i say if doing the things i like make me a geek so be it... Well at this point it thought okay well she may not be that nice person i thought she was... But the funny was that she got more interested in me and we are very close freinds now...

Observation: Women who spend time posting messages on an internet message board are, by definition, going to be geeks.

Of course they're going to be attracted to geeks. Bird of a feather and all that jazz.

Find me a stripper who's attracted to geeks and we'll talk.

:lol:

there is a limit to which u can 'look' at a person and it pretty much sucks if the sum of what they can say is 'gigglegiggle' or 'duh'...i would rahter have an average looking partner with whom i can talk for hours on end

That's deffinately true for the most part

Ok, while I am all for geeks (I myself desperately seek that title), I have to say that geeks are being slightly misrepresented here. I think that the geeks we've been talking about are merely a SUBSET of the true range of geeks out in this world. We've been talking about the Social Geeks, those who aren't necessarily gregarious but are competent in casual conversation, day-to-day life, etc.

From my experience, there are many other geeks out there that are not nearly as well-developed socially. They have huge problems talking with other people, or if they do talk with others, they drive them away with their personalities. I can think of two specific examples of people very close to me, off the top of my head.

The first guy is "David". He is either first or second in my high school class, scored somewhere above 1500 on the SAT, takes all AP classes, yadda yadda yadda. He's a geek. Yet he doesn't have tons of girls flocking to him for his intelligence. Why is this? Well, he's extraordinarily arrogant and self-centered. I LITERALLY, LITERALLY have NEVER heard him talk of ANYONE or ANYTHING not directly related to him. It's horrible.

This proves that native intelligence doesn't necessarily attract girls. There are other factors. Now for the second point, that there are other types of geek other than the social geeks (Alex is a semi-social geek...my next example is the antithesis of the social geek).

I have another friend, "Thomas," who's definitely a big time geek. He's obsessed with Star Wars, computers, math, etc. etc. He's quite bright, and he's literally the most creative person I know. Thomas has a problem, though...he just can't relate to people. His quirkiness and creativity are so potent that they somehow override that part of the brain (frontal lobe?) that stops him from saying socially unacceptable things...he has such a PASSION for his convictions that he'll forget that he lives in a society. For example, I once went to an IMAX movie with him, and he complained loudly and persistently because he couldn't see what was probably the bottom 2% of the screen because of our angle. He doesn't understand social coventions.

I know that I might be pandering to the slightly stereotypical version of the socially inept geek, but they DO exist, and the girls are definitely not flocking to them.

Nothing wrong with liking geeks *cough* :)

For me, it's all about the common interests. I just can't effectively communicate with a guy who doesn't get why I have a wifi detector on my keychain or why I want to use the computer to turn on the lights. Doesn't mean that a guy has to share every geeky interest, but when you're a serious nerd, it's like having a strong political affiliation, or parenting style. It's very difficult to reconcile those opposites in a relationship. A brain makes a guy attractive to me. It's how I fell in love with my SO before I'd even met him in person. Not to say that I've ONLY ever been attracted to geeks, but there's certainly a bias in that direction. It's a very fundamental personality type.

OK, I can be considered geeky not by the things I do, but the way I look, ie specs, average sized body, straight cut hairstyle etc. I was also pretty good in school and can be considered with the decent crowd. Things weren't so good when in HS and got a lot better as I grew up. The cool guys who used to skip classes and got all the chicks are now bums with little future. In turn, we come across as more cultured, educated and matured. Attracting women are much easier now than it has ever been.

Historically, I had always gone for nice decent (but still good looking) girls, but sometimes I wish I had some relationships with slutty chicks for a bit. :P

wtf does a persons body type have to do with their personality?

I just prefer someone who is smart, am influenced by my past experience.

Stupid people are seemingly shallow to me, because they are unable to bring themselves to a higher level of thinking to improve themselves in terms of knowledge, thus being shallow in thought :)

Plus, mommy asked me to find a smart girl :)

and yeah, what Halx said, entertain my brains. :) normal is boring =D

i'm a shy, quiet, geeky type. i've only dated women who are at least reasonably assertive, loud, or whatnot. i would be hard for me to start a relationship with any other type, since i'm going to need some prodding to make a move.

then again, i'm not a stereotypical geek. i'm tall with a reasonably athletic build, been doing sports most of my life sans lifting. i can trick some people into thinking i'm not a geek.

i'm attracted to geeks for the same reason as everyone else. brains are hot. they're not the only thing, but they're a major factor, for sure.

took the words right out of my mouth

What does working out have to do with anything? I work out all the time, and I'm sort of a geek. I had someone recently call me a "geekie hottie" because I were argyle and plaid all the time... :p

Hey, so it I guess this should all turn out well for me now that I've passed the 21 mark. Some advice for all you other nerdy/geeky guys, build confidence. It sounds scary, but it's worth it. Just talk to people; don't be so introspective. The first few times it was awkward for me too, but I'm getting the hang of it and starting to see some real progress. So just go for it. I know you've heard that thousands of times from far cooler people than yourself, but take it from a fellow nerd. It works.

Was he actually looking? Kind of hard to have a girlfriend if you aren't interested in the first place.

Conversations are a great thing to be able to have, intellegence is beautiful, and passion (what many nerds have... for something) is a great thing to see in people.

and more driven people i know are nerdy. go them.

okay, many people have stated intelligence has a lot to to with those you find attractive, do you feel at all arrogant thinking "hmm, he's/she's too dumb for me"?

several times i've had the chance to be with someone only to decide against it because we did not have similar levels of intelligence. i had a hard time letting myself consider that an acceptable reason to not pursue relationships.

No. I can be staring at the most gorgeous girl in the world, but if she opens her mouth and blabbering comes out, I'm turning the other way.

Well what is an acceptable reason then? If you don't like someone, you don't like them. You don't have to deliberate over the reasons and try to justify it. A relationship is a mutual condition, and there is no reason that is unacceptable for breaking it off; standards differ between people (someone might think you're shallow if you break it off because of looks, or whatever) but it's a personal choice and the opinions of other people, aside from that of the other person in the relationship mean jack shit.

so, are turning someone away because they aren't physically attractive and turning someone away because they are not intellectually stimulating the same thing?

does "shallow" even exist?

what about the people above who are like "brains have a beauty/sexiness all their own, Id rather have a geek than a "hot model" type anyday" or "Beauty fades, but stupid is forever"?

It's only different preferences. Shallow simply refers to the fact that they base it on superficial aka surface traits, rather than those found "within" or "deeper". It's only been given a negative connotation because society has decided to do it. The vast majority of people will pretend that looks don't matter, and go on in denial about their attraction to the way someone looks. There may be some people who honestly don't care about looks at all, but on the whole of it, I'd say they make a difference more often than not, even if there are other traits that may override them.

I agree. I met (who I thought was) the woman of my dreams, Aria Giovanni. When she opened her mouth I knew that there was no god. Sigh.

I always have been, and always will be more attracted to women that are "geeky" or "nerdy". Women with brains and the ability to hold a conversation are far more interesting than any other woman I've met.

Not to mention my husband is such a hot geek, and I'm so attracted to him it should be illegal! :D