how much does taste in music matter?
 

Is similar music taste a sign of compatibility?

I think it probably matters a <font size=4>LOT</font> to me. I think it's awesome when a girl likes some of the stuff I like...ESPECIALLY if she has my taste in hip-hop...I mean if she's heard of Binary Star or K-Otix thats it we're gettin married :D. I also like a girl who knows her rock....who listens to REAL R&B not *shrug* Destiny's Child *shrug* or someone like that...I imagine I'd like that a lot because I like music so much it's probably annoying to most people that don't. I mean it wouldn't be the be all end all factor I like lots of other qualities too like if she's smart and funny and goofy...shit like that but who am I kidding? I'll prolly meet my wife at a concert or sumfin :D

Asta!!

Its important but not that important. Taste in music says a lot about a person so if they like something rediculous ie most commercial stuff, i tend to hold that against them.

music tastes for a SO need to be similarish. it doesn't matter too much as long as we're not on different sides of the spectrum. there needs to be some reasonable crossover.

It is very important for me to have similar musical interests as my SO... I am a musician and music is one of the things in this world that I live for. I could not be with someone that didn't enjoy listening to music together with me, or going to concerts with me.

Granted, they don't have to have the same favorites and what not... but similar genre and a similar appreciation for music is a must for me.

Not that important. I listen to music when I'm driving, at work, or playing on my computer at home, none of which involve my wife. She likes country, I hate it except for some of the older stuff like Johnny Cash or Willie Nelson. I like power metal, Iron Maiden, Gamma Ray, Nightwish...stuff you don't usually hear on the radio. And prog rock like Rush and Dream Theater. Occasionally some techno. So we're pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum, about the only thing we both agree on is 80s hair bands :)

What's more important than having similar music tastes when you start out is the ability to accept and explore new music that your SO brings to the relationship.

Don't be such an inflexible hardass that you won't listen to anything other than what you already like.

The girl I married was the first to like my music. She started from the same "base" as I did (hard rock and Broadway), and I was able to expand her musical horizons over the time of our relationship.

MT wife and I have been married 13 years, and still don't really have the same preferences. We can each listen to and appreciate the other's music, and there are certainly a number of artists that overlap, but in general we differ pretty significantly in our tastes. Still have a great relationship and all that, so I'm going to have to say that it's a great deal less important than one might initially suspeect. In the long run, eventually you can grow to appreciate the talent and skill whether or not you prefer a specific type of music.

To me things like musical preference are distractions. Spend enough energy on them and you'll talk yourself out of any relationship. It also burns effort better spent on real issues that might arise. Rather than looking at the things that might not work, look for - and point out - those that do. When you find enough good stuff and can maintain the desire to make the relationship work it will overcome all the insignificant junk.

The other side of this is that you should feel lucky to be worried about something so trivial. :)

This is just another one of those things that will be different for everyone. I have different musical tastes from my wife and always have. I didn't think what she listened to on the radio should decide whether we have a relationship or not and she must have agreed because it worked out. We have an agreement. Whoever drives gets to pick the music. Never had a problem yet.

Depends on what her other tastes are like and what's important to you. I take music and movies pretty seriously. I know what I like and I can generally gauge a person's intellect and personality by the movies and music they like.

For example, in music, I love Nirvana, Mike Patton, Nine Inch Nails, and Tool. Movies, I like Zoolander, Fear & Loathing, The Godfather, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Night/Dawn/Day of the Dead.

If another person likes those, then they will most likely have the same personality, sense of humor, and likes/dislikes that I do.

It hasn't failed yet.

It's probably not the best thing to do, but making generalizations based off someone's interest does save time in the long run. If a girl enjoys Limp Bizkit and Hoobastank and her favorite movie of all time is "I know what you did last summer" (hah, I just typed "I can't believe it's not butter"...) , then chances are pretty slim to none that she has good taste in anything else or can do other things like hold semi-intelligent convo. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, but it's very rare that you'll overlook "the one" by using this.

Of course, if it doesn't bother you being with a "drone", then carry on (again, not *everyone* is like this, but pretty much all of them are).

I've talked to girls before who were into dumb commercial shit like J-Lo and Britney Spears thinking, "Hm, maybe she's intelligent and just so happens to like crappy music..." but... almost each and every time, there's nothing up in the old noggin. They may be fun to be around as a friend, or the "Hey I'm bored, wanna go party?" type of friend, but anything more than that, good luck getting it out of them.

They can tell you what brands of clothes look good, or who won best artist at the MTV music awards, but they can't hold a political convo worth a damn, because it doesn't conern them.. or they won't/can't (because they lack knowledge or interest in) have deep intellectual conversations about anything else, really... sorry, there's more to life than American Eagle Outlet and Abercrombie.

I have several no-nos where music is concerned, and they're all very complex. 1) Rap music. Forget it. If a guy ONLY listens to rap music, no thanks. If it's part of a wide variety of musical tastes, fine. 2) Country. Well, new country. If a guy listens to Garth Brooks, George Jones and Johnny Cash, that's okay. 3) Speed metal. Simply because it gives me a headache. 4) Screaming lesbian punk music. NO NO NO NO NO. NO. 5) Punk music. I like my tunes to have a little more complexity, thank you. More than three chords, please. If, however, the punk is part of a larger variety, fine.

Heh. Both of my best guy friends listen to music I dislike, but we're still friends. One loves the rap and the hard rock, which I don't really care for...but he has a deep love for Pink Floyd, which redeems him. The other loves rock music, same as me, but his two favorite bands (bands I used to like before I met him) are the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Radiohead. Why do I dislike them now? BECAUSE HE PLAYED THEM SO MUCH. But there are other bands and acts we like to listen to together--Floater, Muse, Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn. He also has issues with my taste in music--I love Franz Ferdinand. He disagrees.

Basically, if a guy's taste in music is wide in variety, I'm willing to forgive the few faults they may have :)

Its very important to me......while it might not be THE deciding factor...its certainly a consideration. If I were interested in someone that only liked rap or country it would seriously impact things. I wouldnt be able to be around them when they were enjoying their music...as both kinds make me want to commit murder :lol:

Im fortunate enuff that Dave knew my fav bands Ratt AND Enuff Z'nuff AND he knew EZN so well he knew most of their song lyrics.....THAT was a big plus for him

Nice points Stompy; you brought back memories of a girl I dated once, thinking that there must be something more under the surface. Nope!

Short and sweet: I think it does matter greatly. I can't imagine being with someone who'd blast techno music in the morning - It'd make me unhappy, and, well, that's just not the point, is it? In fact, I think that if you have opposing tastes in music, you're doomed to fail, unless you're the one-in-a-million couple that was predestined to be together forever... but you know what the chances for that are, right?

If your potential s/o is a rude bastage the problem isn't the music. If they persist with stuff that makes you choke, even after you've talked about it, there's something wrong besides the music. It's a symptom, not a cause. Anyway, if tastes are blindingly different there's not a big chance you'll be around each other to start anything anyway.

Sure, having common interests is a good thing. The more in common the easier it is to get something started. But relationships and the people in them grow & change or it dies. Looking for perfection out of the gate means writing off some potentially great matches, however unlikely they might seem. Beyond a few fundamental issues, for me it's always come down to how we communicate and work through things, not the little things we have to work through.

I'd got with "not that important".
You gotta be tolerant, and if you like stuff that makes your SO cringes, use headphones ;-) (and vice versa).

it helps to have that in common but it is not real improtant. I look for someone that likes the music i like but they dont need to love it, just listen with me

I rank it moderately important. Not so much to the point that it would be a deal breaker but compatability in that area would be nice. My main thing would have to be musically openminded to at least put up with what I want to listen to at that moment. I listen to just about any and everything just depends on my mood. So it would be unlikely I wouldn't be able to listen to her music but it's possible that she could get annoyed with mine and as long as she can keep that to herself and try to like it we are cool. If she's constantly making me switch it to her channel or her CD...then that's a sign of something more than just varying musical tastes in my opinion.

It would be cool yes, but I wouldn't base any relationship on where the radio station is going to be tuned to.

she doesn't have to have the same taste in music, but there are a few certain styles that would make me run screaming, no matter what.

I rarely run into anyone who likes the same music that I do. I'd say far less than 1% of people. Combine that with the small cross-section of the population that I find attractive, and I've got a one-in-a-million chance of everythign lining up right.

When I was younger and my music was part of my identity and an outward expression of who I was trying to be, it was important to me. Now, its not important at all. As long as she's not making me listen to stuff I don't enjoy, I could care less what she listens to in her free time.

its very important to me.. i take new musical influences from most people i meet so if i dont like a girls music tastes at all it can get very difficult... but then again one of my best mates loves techno and i cant stand it. not the same as a SO but you still spend a significiant amount of time together.

It only matters when you want to listen to music together apart from that it doesn't and shouldn't matter one bit

I think it's very important....I can tell what kind of person someone (and level of overall intelligence) is by the music and movies that they like.

We like the same jazz and big band stuff. Besides that I'm a total music snob and would never have the expectation that someone else should be like me in that respect. That being said, we listen to my music most of the time. There are some bands we both like, but I dominate the music in this house. :)

Our song is "A Kiss to Build a Dream On" -- Louis Armstrong

Thats rubbish, you cannot tell intelligence levels from music tastes, you may be able to asscociate a group of stereotypes to a person by their music tastes but I would advise you against making judgemnets about them based on these.

Interesting. Do intelligent people tend to listen to the same types of music as you?

I really wouldn't care about a girl's taste in music although, it does say something about her personality if she's one of those sheep who follows certain bands and loves everything they do just because she's a fan. I prefer girls who can look at every genre of music, every band and every artist and pick the best songs from each of them.

In summary, taste in music doesnt matter but open mindedness does

Good question. Does taste in music matter.. Hmm..

Would you kick her out of bed for eating crackers?
Would you leave her if she ate sushi?
Would you break up with her if she liked Hockey?

I have tried to lead you to an enlightened answer here, but incase you missed it "STOP BEING SO SHALLOW!" If the girl feeds the homeless and gives glasses to the poor, you would drop her for listening to Britney Spears?

Seriously, either you aren't ready for a permanent relationship, or you are about as deep as a puddle.

edit: Monkey I just saw your post, and am very glad you consider yourself intelligent. But before you break your arm patting yourself on the back, consider that Moderate and Severely retarded children are played Classical music because it helps soothe them. Violent criminals are also played classical music for the same reason. So you are of course in very good, intelligent company listening to your classical music.

It's not being shallow...

Gauging someone's personality, likes, dislikes, etc off of taste in music is a bit different than saying, "Ugh, she can't hold intelligent conversation because of that god awful mole on her face."

Read my post above. If you don't believe me, go out and try it for yourself... meet a girl who's deeply interested in all these hideous mass marketed bands (most of which are on MTV) and just see how far that relationship gets you.

I CHALLENGE you to try it. Yeah, it SOUNDS shallow, but it's not. Ask them to name 15 bands/groups they like. If the majority of those are the crappy mass marketed acts, chances are VERY HIGH that the person isn't very open minded about the world around em.

Now, if it was something like 15 indie bands I've never heard of... that's another story. I won't turn down a person because of that. If they loved, say, Britney Spears but also liked Nine Inch Nails or Mike Patton, I wouldn't turn them down.

If you read my post above, I gave a good example on how music, movies, and other interests easily allow you to gauge a person and understand (at a glance) how their immediate personality is - that's all. No, it doesn't gauge whether or not they're good in bed, good at talking, or good at dealing with problems in a relationship. However, that is only if music is REALLY something you're into.

If you really don't care to begin with, then no, it's not a good way to gauge someone's personality and character.

But honestly now, tons of people can easily communicate and get along with each other. Who wants a boring relationship where one person has NOTHING in common with the other? If you like movies and music, then you're gonna want a person who also likes movies and music. I'm into computers and video games, and hate sports, so do you really think I'd try to get someone who dislikes video games and absolutely LOVES sports? Hell no.

That's not being shallow, that's saying, "Hey, I want someone that I can connect with."

[edit]
Of course... it depends on how you are. Everyone is different. Personally, I enjoy intelligent conversation, thus, it's important to me that the person I'm with is able to do that. Past experiences I've had with people who've had bad taste (according to me) in music/movies hasn't shown that they are capable of doing that at all.

I can even see this with friends. There are one or two who have horrid tastes in movies/music that CAN hold intelligent conversation. The others... they are very fun to be around, but I could never see being in a serious lasting relationship with someone like that. I'm not saying they aren't fun or aren't good people, just not relationship-type material *to me*.

Actually ones taste in music says a lot about them and I don't think taking that into consideration is shallow at all. It is in fact being realistic about who one is and what one wants in a relationship. I greatly dislike country music. If I met a girl that LOVED country music, knew all the performers names, song lyrics and went to the concerts than even if I liked her as a person I know a long term relationship would be difficult at best. Listening to her music on long car trips would be torturous and going to concerts would be out of the question. If the girl was deeply into sports or fishing or any number of things that don't float my boat there could be a problem. Mild interest differences don't make a difference but major cultural and interest differences can cause problems. It doesn't necessarily doom a relationship but wouldn't one be happier with someone that shares the majority of the same interests?

Nope, I still vote shallow.

Stompy: I agree that if you find someone that likes mostly mass marketed bands you will find someone shallow. BECAUSE THEY ARE 15 YEARS OLD!

Listen people, I would be willing to take a bet that ALL of you that are saying how important music compatibility is are single. (Dating maybe, but not married). Why do I infer this? Because there are a TON of more important things to be compatible with. Like raising children, employment, travelling, sex, finances, religion, etc... And until you figure this out you will remain single.

Now why I call this shallow is because you people make it sound like you wouldn't marry someone if EVERYTHING lined up except the music.
"Well Stan, she has a great body, loves kids, is a doctor, volunteers at the rape clinic, and is one hell of a considerate lover!"
"You sound happy Bob, going to marry her?"
"Hell no Stan, she likes Milli Vanilli!"

See, shallow as hell. Basically you are stereotyping people that listen to specific music, which we all know is ignorant.

This question has always plagued me. Even though I'm REALLY into music, I never thought music should be a deciding factor in a relationship. Then I got married to someone with a very limited taste in music. It did become a source of tension in our relationship. I could never really listen to what I wanted to listen to without pissing her off, and that pissed me off. Out of my 100 or 200 CDs I had at the time, she liked about 6 of them. And they weren't anywhere close to my favorites. Just staples you needed to have in your collection. So, she found the "endless repeat" button on the CD player. Oh my GOD! I still connot stand to hear anything more than once. Four hours of Fleetwood Mac's Rumors is enough to make anyone grab an ax and just start hacking away at whatever's in front of you.

Now that I'm single and looking again I'm not really sure what I'll look for as far as musical taste. I have meet very intelligent, very fun people to be around that don't share my taste in music, so I suppose it shouldn't be THE deciding factor. If you want her to listen to your music, you should listen to hers as well. Openess from both partners are required when you're really passionate about something (like music).

Off course, there is some music that just don't have a large female audience, so you can't expect your tasted to match up on everything. If I find a girl that likes King Crimson, I think I'll fall over.

My last gf was a bit younger than me, so she had a completely different taste in music than me. I took her to see both Bowie and Prince last year. She had no idea who Bowie was (she refered to him as the guy with the fucked up eye) and was only slightly aware of Prince (right before the concert started she said, "I think I'm gonna have fun, and I don't even like Prince"). She had a blast at both shows. She didn't like it when I played jazz, but oddly didn't mind show tunes. She was probably the easiest to get along with, as far as music went.

It really depends on how big her tits are...
:thumbsup:
(ow! stop hitting me!)
Seriously, by your rationale everyone should expand their taste in music so they can appreciate different people .... hmm. Doesn't sound half bad.
Please don't judge someone by their musical tastes. That's like judging someone's social competence by the amount of time they spend on internet forums...

I dated this beautiful woman - flight attendant, ex-lingerie model and really funny and fun to be with. Turns out she was into country music (I didn't have a clue) - I was so into her, and she loved teaching me all about it during the 4 years we dated. The point is, that different musical tastes can be a good thing if you have an open mind. She's now my ex-GF, but we're still good friends -
The music will always remain with me to remind me of some really great times we had.... (*sniff* Where did I put that frigging iPod?)

Longbough.. Thanks for a voice of reason. I bet all the haters in here would love to dump a lingerie model because she listens to country.

Don't limit yourself to one type of music folks, there is good music available in EVERY category, although I personally don't listen to "manufactured" stars either. That is the only category I don't listen too though.

You're misunderstanding, theburner, that's all.

Music is not the END ALL decision in a relationship. You stated, "She's great, a doctor, loves kids, but listens to Milli Vanilli"... that's a perfectly valid exception. I am stating an example that I would use, with the whole "mass marketed MTV bands" thing.

I don't know how old you are, but you must live under a rock if you think only 15 year olds are like that. I've met a LOT of females my age (24) and older who are like that, and while they're good friends, a lasting relationship with them would be pretty dull and uninteresting. Yeah, they may be good people and all, but I want more from a relationship than, "Hey, we get along, let's spend the rest of our lives together!"

Why? Well, in this one case (which, again, is just an example of how music can matter), I find that people who enjoy that type of music aren't too keen or aware about the world around em. Their sense of humor is somewhat basic, and they are often unable to hold semi-intelligent convo. Their likes and dislikes are based off of what their friends/TV tells them to like. Trust me, I've met these people before all over, and while they aren't ALL like that, most of them are. So, it's fair to assume that with someone who enjoys that type of music, chances are very slim to none that they'll turn out as an ideal partner. That's what I'm trying to explain.. and that's not being shallow.

Shallow is saying something like, "I won't ever date fat girls" or "Redheaded people are annoying, so no, I won't date one," not, "I've found that 8/10 people I know who like this type of music generally aren't compatible with my other interests in life. While I would like to be friends with them, I don't think a relationship would work out." Big difference!

What I am saying is, you can get a general idea of someone's personality by their tastes in music, that's all. I hate country music and sappy romance flicks. If I met a girl that LOVED country music and her fav movie was "Maid In Manhattan", it's not like I'll turn my back on her and tell her to fuck off, but it's like anything else... talking to them, spending time with them, etc... you can get a good idea of a part of them by those tastes. I'll still talk to em and see how they are as a person in general, but, will she enjoy my dead baby jokes? Will she enjoy Night of the Living Dead with me? Probably not. Will she want to go to a Mike Patton concert with me and enjoy it with me? Probably not.

Everyone has different interests that they want from relationships. That's not being shallow.

Like I said, I challenge you to try it. I didn't say 100% of the time people who like Britney Spears and Hoobastank, for example, will be uninteresting drones, but... it's pretty high up there.

Getting a general idea of someone's personality, likes, and dislikes because of their tastes in music and movies is NOT being shallow. It's no different than if you got to know them and later found out you weren't all that interested in em. Is that shallow? No. I can understand why you'd think it would, but just take a second out to understand what I'm trying to say. Don't jump to conclusions :)

To answer the topic's question: how much does it matter? To me, a good amount. I can walk into a place wearing a Mr. Bungle shirt, and if a girl comes up to me and says, "Hi, I really love your shirt!" I can know then and there that the chances of us being compatible with additional interests and sense of humor will be quite high.. that's all.

Let's turn this question around.
What do your musical tastes say about yourself?

I'll start:
I like vocals. From unpolished voices full of angst (Tom Waits, Van Morrison, Billy Bragg, Ramones, Sex Pistols, Billie Holiday, Maria McKee, Chuck Berry...), to polished and sexy (Kathleen Battle, Cecilia Bartoli, Ella and early Billie...) and others (Luz Casal, los Panchos, Maria Dolores Pradera, Ofra Haza, John Fogarty, Ray Davies, Sade, Lambert Hendricks and Ross, Blossom Dearie, Dave Frishberg, Bob Dorough, Jolie Holland, George Jones...).
I'm a straight male who likes Broadway (especially Soundheim - Len Cariou's "Sweeney Todd" is incomparable.) Frank Loesser is great. Frank Wildhorn ("Jeckyl and Hyde"). I think A. L. Weber is overrated fluff.
I like some classical and opera- Mahler (at the right moment), Beethoven (Von Karajan & Berlin Philharmonic's take on the symphonies are my favorite (hardly an original opinion but they speak to me nonetheless. The piano concertos have been done to death), Strauss (Richard and Johan), Prokoviev, Puccini...) I'm not crazy about Mozart...
I'm definitely into Jazz - Monk is wonderful (even though his improvs can be hit/miss - his "hits" can get you from unexpected directions), Fats Waller, Duke, Oscar Peterson... I never got as much into Miles or Bird - maybe some day they'll speak to me. Most (but not all) "Jazz Fusion" plays like rock without balls IMHO. I think George Winston is annoying (play the keyboard real slow then change the chord every 5 minutes... then you've got an LP).
Motown - that's a whole big category itself - There's a lot of derivative junk in the milieu, but also some incredible gems in the bunch (Blue Magic, Delfonics..).
Yeah, I like Sinatra, Bobby Short and Tony Bennett - what of it?
Then there's Tom Petty, Ricky Lee Jones, Joan Jett, Donald Fagen, Camper Van Beethoven, Van Halen, ZZ Top, Talking Heads, CCR, Brooks and Dunn, Diamond Rio, Alanis Morissette (before she started selling out), Azucar Moreno, Juan Gabriel's lyrics, Garbage, Parlaiment, Funkadelic, Gap Band, Prince, Randy Crawford, Heat Wave, Pointer Sisters, James Brown, Marvin Gaye, EW&F, Bally Sagoo (early stuff)....(I'm leaving a whole bunch of stuff out)
I don't just listen to old stuff, but MTV definitely killed a lot of music for me - there's some good stuff still out there but there's a shitload of overproduced garbage out there to wade through.
I never got into rap.
I'm embarassed to admit I listen to these: Go Gos, Bangles, Yoko Minamino, Oasis... (come on, doesn't everybody have some "guilty pleasure" with some song or band you know is shallow, overproduced and/or just bad?)
I'm even going to stick my neck waaaaay out and admit that I cried when I listened to that damned theme song to "Titanic." But you won't catch me dead in the Celine Dion section of my local music store. I don't think that makes me "shallow"

I don't mind if you want to ridicule my tastes - at least I get laid.
I think the only thing you can tell about me is that I'm in my late 30s and that I've dated some latinas. I generally date younger women - many of them learned how to listen to jazz with me.

But a final word about tastes: Since I'm into women I guess I wouldn't mind if my GF was into them, too - (kidding...no I'm not)

No one is ridiculing anyone.. if people are just gonna misunderstand the point then I'll probably just stop here so I don't keep wasting my time :D

I didn't think you were attacking me - I was just anticipating some ridicule from some readers after my list - that's all. Your own statements are sincere.
I wasn't trying to take your words out of context, either. I understand what you're trying to say. If anything I'm just trying to elaborate upon the issue so that your statement isn't interpreted the wrong way.

It's probably accurate to say that a person's musical limitations (i.e. what they'll NEVER listen to) can say something about them, too. I taught some girls to like jazz. And some of them refused to listen to anything that wasn't associated with some million dollar music video.... I'll admit that can be a major turnoff.

It all depends how important music is for you. Music is about my main interest or hobby, and I take it pretty seriously, so if a girl couldn't appreciate that about me, and have at least an open mind my music, then there'd be a problem. Now if I were someone who just listened to the local radio station in my car, and that about how far my music interest went, then I couldn't care less if she liked the same station or not.

Short answer.... for me, it's important

I don't think that guaging ones intelligence by the music they listen to is all that flawed. But more so it tells their state of mind. You can tell a lot about people by how much the music they listen to makes them think...Britney Spears isn't exactly a serious artist that makes you think when you listen to her music so people listen to her just for the musical distraction so to speak...she makes "fun" poppy dance music and if a girls listening to her thats usually the state of mind that she's in at the time..having fun, dancing, stuff like that. Now if she was listening to someone like hmm lemme think who's a pretty popular band...Say Dashboard Confessional, R.E.M., Counting Crows, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers etc. those bands are a little more pensive and cerebrel. They make you think about things like relationships, feelings, getting away, or just that "Hey these are really good lyrics" ya know? So that shows that she likes to be somewhat involved in her music, she wants it to say something to her...So if she listens to both kinds that shows she likes to have her music speak to her but also sometimes she just likes to have a good time and enjoy life as well(Not to say that you can't have a good time listening to pensive music..I know I do)...So NO it's not THAT shallow or ignorant to base once intelligence or overall thought patterns on what type of music she listens to. And also compatability is key in any relationship as well as love and trust...keep that in mind man. You gotta have at least SOMETHING in common.

Asta!!

It is shallow to base opinions on intelligence on music tastes, people who listen to "mass marketed MTV bands" are not doing so because they lack the mental capacity to see through the devious marketing ploys that propel these people to fame (try to understand there is a LOT of talent involved in getting your average mass marketed teen sensation famous) they just don't care about it as much as others do, people who knock others tastes in music do it from a position of insecurity about their own

^ Yer right man...I'm terrified no one else out there likes Pink Floyd...ya know I'm not even sure why I like them so much...that must be what it is..thats why I make fun of people who listen to pop music..because I'm insecure about my own musical tastes I'm just glad someone finally brought it to my attention.

Asta!!

I guess I have a hard time understanding how some people are thinking.

You HAVE to have compatibility with another person... you need to have things in common. If movies and music are two of the biggest interests in life, then what, you think I'm gonna go after the person who hates both of those and LOVES sports/cars (both of which I don't particularly care for)? No.

It's not being shallow, it's called compatibility. Using a litmus test of sorts to strike up conversation as well as to get a quick general idea about someone's personality isn't shallow. It IS if you said something like, "Oh, you like Britney Spears? Okay, fuck off then, I don't really wanna know you."

People who are complete opposites COULD get along well, but it's quite difficult to do if you don't share the same passions in life.

This has nothing to do with insecurities. Everyone has insecurities of sorts, but let me tell ya, music isn't one of mine. I'm quite content in knowing that most of what I listen to has inspired or will inspire generations of great music, so there's really no troubles or issues in that department...

No one is knocking anyone's tastes. I don't think anyone goes up to another person and right away after finding out they like Limp Bizkit saying, "God, you have such awful taste in music. You're a horrible person."

It's just a litmus test of sorts, and a valid one at that.

For that one example, it's not that they're incompetent or stupid, it's just that I would like to see the ambition to think outside of the box... to get interests and inspiration beyond what the TV tells you to like.

Seeing as how I got into music around the time Nirvana made it big, I'm not too far from the "subjected to mass marketed crap on mtv" tree, however, I did take the initiative to go beyond that. I started listening to a diverse amount of music along with those very bands that inspired the groups I like. Kind of a, "I love Nirvana... so who did THEY like? Led Zeppelin? Sonic Youth? Black Flag? The Beatles?" type of thing.

Since music is a very big interest of mine, of course I'll keep an eye out for people who are able to do the same thing.

If not, then that's fine because I'll try to find something else in common, but tastes in music will always be a quick litmus test that I'll use since music is something everyone enjoys. Not only that, but music/movies is something that quickly allows two people to strike up easy conversation.

A good example of how I used this in recent times:

I started talking to an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school over AIM. You would generally like to talk about something past the general "hi, how are you? what have you done, what are you going to school for?" convo, so one of the first things I asked was, "So, you still into Faith No More?"

From there, that spawned a convo about other Mike Patton related stuff, which also branched into a plethora of other topics.

Had she said, "Not really.." then I would've fished around for something else, maybe other music or movie related. She liked video games back then, so I might've brought something up about that.

Yeah, there's tons of other stuff to talk about, but you don't wanna dive into serious or personal stuff (politics is one) right away. You just wanna get to know the other person, have some fun chat about something simple... music just happens to be one of em.

I'm telling you... you might not belive me, but you CAN learn a lot about a person by a quick conversation on music. Like I said, I challenge you to try it.

*thud*-hits head against brick wall

I agree you can tell a lot about a person by a quick conversation on music, or on a whole host of other subjects, that is not my point or the point of this thread. It is possible to have an enlightening conversation with someone about music EVEN if they have different tastes in music (in fact it can be an even better converstion if you have different tastes because you can learn from each other) liking "pop" music does not mean an incapability to think outside the box, neither does liking Nirvana mean an ability to do so.

My point - musical tastes do not matter in a relationship, a relationship where people have the same musical tastes is no more or less valid than one where they don't - you're tastes will change as you get older anyway.

I listen to pretty much whatever is on, but I do have preferences.

My two favorite genres are industrial and death metal (examplse: KMFDM and In Flames.) I'm also a big fan of classic rock (Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Beatles, etc.) Some other high on my list are grunge, original (real) punk , hard rock and classic metal (Nirvana, Ramones, The Clash, Metallica, Black Sabbath.) An odd addition to this mix is some newer underground hip hop (Atmosphere, Bionic Jive, Cunning Lynguists.) To round out the mix, I appreciate classical orchestral music of all types, and I won't try to list everything here because I'd inevitably leave something out and piss off elitists ;)

As for movies, I'll throw out my favorites in no particular order: Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, American History X, Pi, American Beauty, Requiem for a Dream, Monty Python and the Hoyl Grail, Monty Python's Meaning of Life, The Ring/Ringu, The Shining.


That's a little bit of what I like and what I listen to; judge me based on that. Don't be afraid to be condescending or rude, you have my permission to say anything about me that you want based on this. After you finish, I'll toss out a bit of background information to give you an idea of how well you guessed. If you want more information, throw out some artists, songs, movies, or whatever you want, and I'll give you my opinion to help you make your judgement.

Pink Floyd is the king of rock music. I have introduced my kids to Pink Floyd. They love it.

But as to the importance of music, it is critical. How can anyone NOT allow music to touch their souls?

At home, i listen to classical and jazz as well as pink floyd and a few other bands that actually have melodiy's.

My wife and i have constant squabbles over music. She listens to this country shit which makes me absolutely puke. We're just not compatible. and this is after 18 years of marriage.

Bottom line? Music is for the soul.

Everybody must buy/download Mozart's Requiem and Puccini's operas. That is music to die for.

I think that if someone likes the same music as you that pretty much just indicates that they have the same interest in music as you. My wife and I have been married over twenty years and we don’t even come close to having the same interests in music. So apparently it was a good thing that I (I’m dating myself here) didn’t go through her cassette tape collection to base whether or not I would like her. I guess we did it the old fashioned way; we got to know each other. For those of you that have found someone with the same musical tastes, great for you. You have doubled your CD collection, but you’ve not guaranteed that you have found a soul mate.

Any statements that a person’s intelligence can be weighed by the music they listen to are groundless. Nevertheless, I’d like someone to post what intelligent people listen to, I think we’ll see quite a variety.

A person's politics probably says you more about them than their musical tastes does.

Definietly for compatibility, not for intelligence, though. That and religion are two big things I look at. From looking at those two things, I can rule out being compatible with over half of people I check out.

I have a big problem with it. Im tolerant in every other area of my life except for music, and most girls dont have the same music tastes as me, so it's always a problem.

I'm telling you, it really matters to me. I made a big mistake getting involved with someone who doesnt relate at all to my cultural icons or resonate to the beat that I hear. I thought It was interesting to be with someone so different.....uuuuuuuuh, it ISNT, It means, actually, as it turns out, we like diff food, diff sex, diff you name it.... it just took a long time for that to become clear to me. We dont dance together, in any sense. Its Bad, and not in a good way.

It's not a clincher for me. Hubby and I have different musical tastes with some overlap, and we've each introduced the other to new artists and styles of music. Before I met him, I'd never listened to Nirvana, Pink Floyd, later Beatles, Led Zeppelin just to name a few. I introduced him to Bob Dylan and Allison Krauss. I have a much broader musical interest thanks to him, and since music is an integral part of my life, I am better for it. It's all about compromise; meet someone with different tastes and you may find out you have a new favorite band or artist.

I was going to say it doesn't matter a bit but then realized that the reason it doesn't really matter in my house is that my wife doesn't listen to music as much as I do... Most of the records and CDs are mine...

The few that are her's she listens to when she's in the car.

No big deal, if you can't find some accommodation for music, your relationship is in deep shit, anyway.

There are 3 or 4 bands that I love and my wife can't stand. They stay in my car. The Alannis collection stays in hers.

Interesting thread. I guess I'm on the side of....musical compatability matters but it's not the be all and end all. I love when I meet a guy (as I just have) and don't have to explain who the bands are I like (eg: "Tenacious D? Isn't that the band with that actor guy in it?" *groan*)

Allison Krauss has a beautiful voice Medusa

Asta!!

Yes, she does. Hubby used to despise country, and I was listening to her while I drove (whoever drives picks the music) and he told me the exact same thing! Neither of us are country freaks, but there is bound to be a good artist in every genre of music.

First heard her watching "Cold Mountain" then saw her performing "My Ain True Love" on the DVD extras. Haven't checked out her albums just yet but she left an impression...really beautiful voice. She's attractive as well.

Asta!!

Music compatibility doesn't matter, if you begin a committed relationship the girl should respect or choice in music and you should take turns in listening to the other's music.

Musical compatability. I don't think I've ever heard a more hilarious term.

I love music. I also love it when I can talk music with my friends / girlfriends. However, if a girl doesn't like the music that I absolutely love, that's perfectly ok with me. There are all kinds of other things we can have in common.

I find it pretentious and shallow to judge someone based on their musical taste. If that's all you have to hang onto, if that's going to be the deciding factor, then you probably need to look at yourself, not your SO.

Well, it's nice if you have similar taste in music. But it's not a huge deal to me.

New Years Eve I was with my boyfriend in a bar and the first Counting Crows album was being played. Now, I love them. So I mentioned as much. My boyfriend? Doesn't so much like them... So I played around with the "I don't even know you anymore. We're totally breaking up." WhileI don't quite get how people couldn't like Counting Crows, its not a big deal to me. Now, if he hated Dashboard Confessional, we might have some issues :lol:

Wow, there sure are some music nazi's on this forum.. How about this: hating gay people is the same as hating people based on their music preferences, and it's very narrow minded.

I like everything and I respect everyone's tastes in music. There are some styles that I like more than others, and definitely some bands that I like more than others, but I don't diss people because their preferences are different than mine. Now, there are some bands/singers that I don't like, but I'm not about to blast someone because they happen to like a band or singer that I don't.

If they want to listen to MTV music, fine with me; I can enjoy that stuff. And if they want to listen to 80's music, that's also fine. I am very open minded when it comes to music, and I can learn to enjoy just about anything.

it matters a lot for a significant other to be into music as much as I am. it may not necessarily be the kind of music *I* personally listen to, and I'm always open to new things (except country...). But for me, the passion has to be there and a good indicator of that is if they like music. Music is an artform, an expression, and I think the kinds of music people like says a lot about them.

Even better still, is the ability to play music. I've dated all musicians, exlcuding one guy who was really "into" music (1,000+ of cds and records). To me, music is a lifeblood. It's only natural for me to be into someone who feels the same way.

I like a very narrow range of music (punk and ska, mostly, some celtic), but I couldn't care less if my girlfriend does. Music is fun and all, but I listen to it in the car, on my bike, or while doing something else around the house. If my girlfriend doesn't like what I do, that's fine--I'll put on headphones.

I guess I would kind of prefer that she like something interesting, though. My last girlfriend was a huge Tori Amos fan, and although I personally can't stand Tori, I liked that she at least liked something different and fairly unique. But if she listened to Ashlee Simpson, that'd be fine too--I might make fun of her about it, but only a little, and that'd be that.

Interestingly, I randomly met someone that listed the EXACT SAME favorite bands that I have, including the Phenomenauts (I pretty much thought my brother and I were their only fans) and also was into Battle Royale (crazy Japanese horror film in which a class of 7th graders are forced to kill one another). I don't even know her personality well enough to know if I'll like her, but the fact that we have so much in common is kind of... off-putting.

Weird, eh?

I agree, although my SO has turned me of to some serious and amazing jazz. However, there are certain bands, songs and/or riffs that only a select few really understand and that is a huge turn on for me. I think music is very personal and a good indicator of great things to come. Or cum. Whatever.

I saw a whole buncha lovely ladies at the Pink Floyd Laser spectacular I went to last weekend...I wanted to run up and kiss all of them....or at least give em a little hug or sumfin. Wonder if they were there cause they like the Floyd or because of the cool lasers? :hmm: Hope it was the Floyd

Asta!!

music taste doesn't really matter to me at all. I listen to all kinds of music, and I really don't care about what other people listen to.

Man, if I ever met a woman who had the same musical tastes as me...

I would cry.

I have seriously shitty taste in music. Everything that I like, I really like, but I can't explain why. There are huge swaths of music that I put off-limits to myself just so I don't end up liking something that is utterly dispicible (when Britney is no longer popular, I'll have to have a listen and see if I end up liking her *shudder*). Right now, in my playlist is: Clint Mansell - Requieum For A Dream (soundtrack), Russian Choral Music - Music of the Passion, Jonny Cash - When The Man Comes Around, Eric Clapton - Blues, Pi (the soundtrack), The Katamari Damacy soundtrack, And Camille Saint-Saens - Symphony No 3

Some of my favorite bands include Aqua, Anton Karas (soundtrack for The Third Man), Camille Saint-Saens, Cornershop, Ella Fitzgerald, Elvis, Eric Clapton, The sountrack from Ome Henk (in Danish, so I don't understand the words), Indigo Swing, Modest Mouse, Nirvana, Some random Phillipino Disco I found, Squirrel Nut Zippers and the Vince Guaraldi Trio.

Should I ever run in to someone that likes that set of music, I would probably cry, for their sake. That is one messed up cookie right there.

My girlfriend however, hates 90% of the music I listen to (she has much better taste than I do), but, since the car stereo is in my control, she listens to what I want (*evil laugh*).

Hmm you got some really good stuff in there man don't be ashamed of it.

Asta!!

You don't have bad taste, just different taste. I love when someone turns me on to a style of music or artist that I would never have listened to before. and as time goes by I find that stuff I used to avoid sounds better now. It's all relative.

I don't mind if a girl who has different tastes in music but she also must be open to different kinds of music including my music. Having an open mind if key.

That is an excellent song. I've always been fond of his take on "La Vie en Rose" (I hope I spelled that right :) )

Anyway, It's not a big deal to me as I'm open to all types of music. While there is some types of music that make my teeth hurt, I'm a pretty easy going guy. I won't hold it against her if that's what she likes.

Music can be very personal and sometimes a SO insulting your music is like she's insulting you. While I can't expect a woman to dig the same kind of music I dig, I can expect her to have an open mind about it.

I mean, it would be different if everytime you had a disagreement about a song she kept playing "but it sucks" card. That might be an issue, but different tastes? Absolutely not.

As much as I might relish the idea of "guthmund sans penis," in reality, it would be quite boring, no?

In my personal opinion the kind of music a person listens to is an indicator of the kind of person they are (or are more likely to be). By this I do not mean that one can judge a person's intelligence level by the music they listen to but rather that people are influenced by the music at some level or another.

Therefore, someone who listens to hardcore rock full of hateful lyrics (especially white supremacist hatecore lyrics) is more likely than not to commit hate crimes and be a Neo-Nazi or Ku Klux Klansman. In the same fashion, someone who listens to music that constantly calls women bitches and hos is likely to be a womanizer or talk to women as though they're nothing more than sex objects.

Therefore, before I'd ever marry someone I'd pay very close attention to the kind of music they listen to.

If that's not judging a book by it's cover, then I don't know what is.