How does your SO feel about you masturbating?
 

For those of you in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about you masturbating when they aren't around? Do they dissaprove, are indifferent, or encourage it?

My SO has told me that she doesn't want me to masturbate. She says that's her job and would be really hurt if she found out that I had. Since I respect her feelings, I abstain. I guess it's good that our sex life is extremely satisfying.

my SO doesnt care. she has better things to do then worry about what im doing.

If your sex life is completely satisfying then I assume you wouldn't need to masturbate, unless you're a masturbation junkie, and/or you won't tap her while she's on the rag. In my case, I do masturbate somewhat regularly, and I don't think the wife approves of it, but on the other hand, (no pun intended) she doesn't take matters into her own hands (no pun intended) so I will continue to 'get the sin out' until sex becomes a little more frequent.

I was in a 5 year relationship where the girl and I didnt really have the same sex drive. She was totally cool with my j/o habbits, in fact she didnt care if she was in the bed next to me.... looking back i guess that was a little weird *shrugs*

I am no longer a card carrying member of the self touch club thanks to my wife. I hope I can stay out of that club until the day I die. Cheers to anyuone else lucky enough to be out of this club.

Not that weird, I`m in the same situation right now. :D

I really find it odd that people would stop masturbating just because they are married or seeing someone...

There are any number of reasons why I continue to masturbate despite being married...

Does my wife care? Not in the slightest. In fact I happen to know that she does it too.

My wife had a slight problem with it. Not the act itself, but she felt that if I masturbated, I wasn't sexualy satisified. I explained to her (over a very long period of time, because the idea is so foreign to her) that men masturbate for a variety of reasons. As a very sexual woman, she had mucho problems grasping that a man might masturbate to relieve tension, relax, get it over with, etc, and not because they wanted sex.

Don't forget boredom :p

I agree Charlatan. My wife likes to watch me masturbate (of course I enjoy watching her as well). Masturbation doesn't have to end because you are in a relationship. For someone's significant other to be offended or hurt by that seems to point to some self-worth issues if you ask me.

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That's it exactly xxSquirtxx... for me it is sometimes just a release.

My husband and I are total wankers. :D

I live with my girl and she doesn't seem to mind it too much, unless I rub one out and then don't feel up to having sex soon after. But I'll still go down on her at that point. She also mastrubates but nowhere near my frequency. Our situation works for us.

neither of us has a problem with the other doing it....not that we do it much......its never been a real big part of my life. If Dave does it, it doesnt bother me at all and it doesnt make me feel like Im not satisfying him.....I know better :lol:

If it gets done its usually mutual masturbation because we both love watching each other.

I masturbate all the time, at least once a day, and it has nothing to do with how often I have sex with my girlfriend.

We both still live with our parents and probably are going to until I finish college. So we will occasionally have sex at her house, then I go home and will masturbate before I go to bed, and it has nothing to do with not be sexually satisfied, I've mainly just gotten into the habit of beating it before I go to sleep.

So to wrap up this kinda long and relatively unnecesarry story, masturbation can have nothing to do with sexual satisfaction, it has many other reasons behind it.

My wife likes to watch too, although not every time I masturbate. We both do when we're apart and we do when we're together--although that usually leads to other things.

My wife knows I have porn on my computer, and I bought her the vibrator she picked out as a present. So yeah neither one of us has a problem with it. With so little time for sex between different work schedules and a kid you gotta have something. I usually do it at the end of the day before bed to help me relax and get to sleep. She usually does it in the morning to wake herself up.

i only get to see my girlfriend on weekends during the semester so of course i masturbate. She sometimes likes to get me going over the phone and I definitely do not mind that....

My wife says she is Ok with it but it seems like she is jellous when she finds out about it. I usually masterbate like 1-2 times daily and have sex everyday too. She just dosent have the stamina I do. I would never cheat but masterbation is like a release of unwanted sexual energy.

My last SO loved to masturbate as well. So, she didn't care.

i look at masturbation as a way of intensifying my sex life with my girlfriends. ie when you masturbate you fantasize about different ways, situations, ideas etc that i would like to do with my girlfriends. same has always been for them...

even if a girlfriend doesnt like it i would still do it...

she loves the fact I do it, and has requested I tell her every time I do. And it turns her on when I do it next to her to the point where she must join in.

whew - what self control. I must say that my first comment was - Why?

I'm with Capt Nemo and Charlatan, My wife likes to watch me please myself. and I enjoy watching her do it as well.

My wife doesn't know I do, or if she does, she doesn't say anything. It's more of a release for me than sexual. But... it does help with sex, I last soooooooo much longer if I've wanked within 24-36 hours of sex. Usually sex will last 45 minutes, where as 15 tops if I haven't.

My girly would hate to hear that I masturbate. She'd thing she wasn't satisfying me enough. Thank goodness we don't live together.

My wife is thrilled that I'm comfortable enough with her to do it lying in bed next to her when I'm in the mood, and she's not. She sometimes caresses my balls while I do it, and it's pure heaven!

She gets disapointed sometimes if she knows I have, but other times she WANTS me to. Basically, if she's horny she doesn't like me to (even though I last a bit longer usually) because she thinks it's her job and if she's NOT horny (she usually isn't) then she gets disapointed if I don't because she thinks it makes me want sex less, which it doesn't.

She generally wants sex WAY less then me so masturbation is something I do to releave sexual tension, usually.

Well, being that most of the time, we're two hours apart, We're both fine with it. When Im around her, I rarely do though. Mostly because the little guys too busy recovering from the last amazing sex session...

One of my exes was totally against me masturbating...he thought it meant he wasn't pleasing me enough or whatever...truth is I'm just hornier than 95% of males I've met and need more...activity than others. One boyfriend got totally turned on by it, which was great!

It's not like I get any oral sex from my girlfriend, so I do masturbate once in a while because she won't give me all that I want. Besides, if she would masturbate more it would make our sex life better because she'd be better in touch with her body and would know what works best for her to get her off.


But honestly, when it comes to masturbation I'm actually trying to quit it for good. I think that in a relationship no one should have to resort to masturbating because each partner should fully satisfy the other.... but in real life it never turns out that way.

it disturbs me that so many women feel threatened by masturbation and i'm equally disturbed that men don't have a problem with someone placing unfair demands on their personal sex life. your body is yours and your orgasms are yours and i think anyone with a healthy view of human sexuality should understand that. masterbation improves ones sex life; it is nothing to be jealous of and it should never be used as a way to control your partner.

(for my own part i'm single right now but all of my previous boyfriends haven't had a problem with my masturbating -- clearly i wouldn't tolerate such foolishness ;)).

Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality.

Only when it takes the place of intimacy with another does it become a pathology.

It can also be used to further increase intimacy between couples.

Fortunately Sexymama and I have healthy sex life, including masturbation.

I've never been that big of a masturbator. At this point if I'm single, it's no more than once a week. If I'm in a relationship and happy, then it's almost never. My last relationship wasn't that great in the sex department, so there were plenty of times where I was left frustrated or just didn't want to be with her. A few of those times I took care of myself and in subtle ways would let her know hoping that she'd feel bad about it. I don't think she minded me masturbating, but I do think it bothered her that she was letting me down. She didn't change anything though. Oh well, that's long gone.

Also, I love to masturbate in front of a woman, and have her do the same.

Oh, also again, since I really didn't answer the actual question above, I've never had a S/O be upset or bothered by me masturbating. Probably because, like I said, I really hardly do it when I'm with someone. I can see that a woman would be bothered by it if the guy was strokin' it off on regular basis, because she's wonder why she doesn't do it for him, or why he doesn't come to her for it. I can see it bringing out insecurities.

Getting yourself off has nothing to do with how often you are getting it or how good it is when you get it. No partner should ever feel that it is a slap in the face to them when the other partner does it.

Edit: And my wife says she wants me to.

eh she seems pretty indifferent but she "reserves the right to 'help'"...

It doesn't upset me at all. We have talked about it, and we both understand that we have differing wants. I am perfectly fine with it, and he understands that I usually don't because he keeps me happy. So long as he still turns to me, I have no problems.

I've never been with a girl who hasn't understood that guys need to masturbate to relieve tension fairly often. When i was 16-17 and I used to go home after having sex and masturbate thinking about it if the girl was really hot.

Some time back my wife discovered that I still jack off. She was surprised, but at the same time not really surprised. What really had her jaw drop was when I said that I have to do it pretty much daily. Not because I enjoy jacking off - to be honest, I don't, I'd rather fuck her - but because I am horny almost every single day, and it disrupts my ability to concentrate, and sleep.

She seems ok with it.

I could never submit to allowing someone else dictate whether or not I can masturbate. To me that's bordering on abuse.

My husband isn't bothered by it. In fact, with the amount of toys he's bought me, I'm sure he loves the idea!

I used to have a problem when I knew he was masturbating. I was jealous. I couldn't understand how he could do it so frequently and at the same time not want to have sex with me. (I had a higher sex drive than him at the time, so I was ALL about the sex.) Once I finally realized that the majority of times it didn't have anything to do with sex, or me, I was ok with it.
I'll still tease him about it sometimes, but he does the same to me, so it's all ok. :icare:

EXACTLY... JonsGirl. I also felt the same about my SO. We talked it over and I'm thinking of getting her MORE toys. Maybe the jackrabit? :thumbsup:

she wants to watch me do it. When i'm not around? havent really wanted to / had to since i seeing her, and teh topic hasn't come up. although given the fact she likes to watch, she'd prolly enjoy thinking about it when i'm alone to.

I used to have a problem with doing this quite often. After many years of being addicted to porn and masturbation i gave it all up. I promisied God i'd stop and haven't done it now for over 2 months (i know it's not much but i will continue forever). I thought this would be very difficult (especially considering i'm single right now). And it was at first but after the first month things actually got easier. Now days i'm rarely ever tempted at all. The best part is I have learned how to control my dreams too. I feel much better now and know that I will be rewarded for my dedication to God.

My boyfriend and I have way different sex drives, I want it all the time and he just doesn't. So given that scenario, yes, I would be very upset if he masturbated because I feel as if we do not have sex enough. We've only very, very recently sort of started having a more normal, regular sex life so it wouldn't be as bad... but I would still be a bit hurt. As for him, he knows I masturbate regularly (sometimes three times a day) and it doesn't seem to phase him at all.

My wife had some qualms about it when we first got married, but recently she's come out of her sexual shell if you will and she's been open to a few more things including masturbation. She doesn't mind if I do it especially when I'm at work and I'm gone for a couple of days.

You have to get that release somehow.

The wife and I are very open about it. We have a little "do not disturb" sign that we hang on our bedroom doorknob to let the other one know when we're having a little "alone time". We talk about it openly and we encourage each other to do it, as it is a healthy normal human activity. She jokes about me "rubbing one out" and I joke about her "getting her best friend, the silver bullet". It's self affirming, it relieves stress and I also heard recently that it's good for the prostate as well.

I used to masturbate probably once a day before I was in the relationship I'm in now, and I don't really have a desire to anymore. Although we both do discuss it with each other if either one of us DOES masturbate, as it is a great way to turn each other on (the obligatory, "I was thinking of you doing...", which also seems to greatly improve the creativity and longevity of sex). It used to be a normal habit, though now it just seems like a diversion.

Wanking off is great, and if your SO has a problem with it, she has a problem with you.

Hell try jacking and jilling together. That can be hot.

My hubby loves to know when i do it . . . our work schedules are pretty opposite . .. so i masurbate alot when he is at work . . . i've sent him pics of it . .. he loves it :)

i was sorta wierded out by him masturbating, i was insecure i think . .. but got used to the idea and now ask what fantasies he is having etc. :D

Sweetpea

I find nothing wrong with masterbating atall. There are more serious things that your girlfriend should be worrying about. I don't mind atall that my boyfriend does it, to me it's not only safe but he isn't harming anyone but pleasuring himself. Noone should tell you whether you can or can't masterbate, it's your choice.

I know that my boyfriend masturbates but it doesn't bother me at all, I actually like to watch sometimes :) The way I look at it is, I would rather him satisfy his own sexual urges (if im not around) rather than get some other girl to do it. Also he said that even if we lived together he would still do it, because its just normal for a guy to do.

am not in a relationship now but when i was, our sex like couldnt be better. masterbation was part of our sex life, was a turn on for me and a turn on for her. I can honestly say i thought about her when i was doing it, But i do understand where she is coming from.

I don't masturbate because it just doesn't feel good enough to be worth the effort when I'm by myself. I don't mind my SO masturbating, at least not while he is home alone, but when I am there, I like him to come hang out with me while he does it so I can feel "involved". I don't really know why he insists on doing it by himself but I don't make a big deal about it. If he doesn't want me looking at his porn he can just turn his computer away from me :P

I encourage my SO to do it. Since we started dating, I've almost completely lost the urge for myself, even when it's been a week or more. *shrugs.

Tack... My guess is that your relationship will be in trouble if there is a change in your SO's sex drive.....

My SO and I are very open about this issue and realize that it is much better option than ever being tempted to go outside our relationship for satisfaction.... While waiting for my SO's drive to return is always preferrable to me over masturbation, I know that changes to her drive have sometimes lasted for years before returning to normal. (Having our second child had a big impact on her.) Thankfully she made it easy for me to be her partner... she was just happy for me to be happy.... she even helped out a lot... he he

Trust me... after you have had kids... or other age related changes have occurred your individual sex drive may change.... many many do. What will you do then?

The problem is all in your partners head... why would your SO not want you to be happy?

eeer....why the hell not? Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. Being jealous about it seems prudish/immature sexually and a complete misunderstanding of the point of masturbating. Sometimes people just wanna have fun...on their own. Orgasms you give yourself are different from ones you get from someone else. Masturbating is a release and tension buster. It does all sorts of good things to your body. It can be foreplay to sex with your SO, or it can be something you share with yourself.

I personally admit I don't have the easiest time doing it in front of my SO, but I am a product of society and still have a few hang ups about it. I don't give a toss if he does it and the same goes for him, as far as I know. It's not even an issue. Seems a shame to create a problem over something so trivial...there are MANY more important things in a relationship.

edit: I think it's silly to abstain if you want it, and I think she's even sillier for thinking it's alright for her to demand this of you. At the end of the day, you should be your own person. Talk to her about it, that is in no way a good long term solution.

AMEN sister!

As for myself I encourage Loverboy to jerk off when ever he wants :)

I don't care if my husband does it, I do it too. :D We've done it a couple times together infact! I know he doesn't care about my doing it either when he buys me the stuff :D We still have a great sex life so we see no harm in it.
As long as you still have a great sex life I think it's silly for someone to get upset over it, but that's just me. I know everyone has the right to their own opinion.

In the begining It was never an issue because her sex drive was out of control. Since then she went on the birth control patch, and her sex drive decreased alot. So she's fine with me taking care of myself. Most of the time I even do it in bed next to her, she like that I touch her ass or play with her tits while I do it. She knows I have porn, but prefers if I look at pictures of her.. So, it all works out.. When she did have a strong sex drive she used to take care of herself in the morning, I guess that was when she was mostly horny, and I wasent around. I wasent too crazy about the idea, but thought it was hot non the less.

I have always wanted lots & lots of orgasms, and so I always make sure I get them. I think sometimes guys find it threatening. Once on a hot beach my then b/f was so not into it, that I sent him off to get water and got myself off while he was gone. ( It was a more or less empty, naked beach) when he came back he noticed how wet my pussy was and seemed impatient. boring...

Mine gets off on it.....

I love my life.

mine got kinda bent out of shape when I told her how often I do it.. I dont mind her doing it.. she was more like how come I do it soo often (atleast once a day). I tried to explain that it was just a thing i liked doing.. she kinda got it.. but not really.. she just doesnt bring it up anymore.

Me and my love wank all the time. If we're horny and not together, we'll play with ourselves. Sometimes we'll even sit down to a good classy (ha!) movie and wank together.

At first she was a little surprised when I told her I still masterbate even though we are togather. (Come on ... we're in a long distance relationship!) Then she kinda got freaked out because she found that I masterbate to porn....come on... Anyways shes ok with it now, sometimes she asks me if I have masterbated when im not in the mood for phone sex lol. But I have gotten her to open up and she says she likes to watch me go at it, and I like to watch her as well. But if I could only get her to start doing it to herself more often - seems like she'll only touch herself during sex or during phone sex.

I don't know.

Maybe she'll read this and answer.

I don't really think he cares...I like to tell him about what I do to myself when hes not around and it seems to turn him on..and he likes to watch..I wish he wouldnt masturbate so much since he has sensitivity issues but it turns me on thinking of him wanking :)

My SO doesn't mind me masturbating. In fact, she gets disappointed because she didn't get to watch. Turns her on to watch me.

-Dunta

She couldn't care less whether I masturbate when she isn't around. The only problem would be if I were masturbating while avoiding sex with her, and that ain't going to be happening. Hell, when she's around, but not in the mood herself, she doesn't mind taking care of it for me.

I certainly wouldn't begrudge her enjoying herself when I'm PMSing and in no mood to be touched sexually.

Wanna Trade So's? Seems like the sex drives would match up then :) :p

My SO is so-so about masturbation. (How do you like that one...) I think I've seen her do it once, and she's seen me do it several times. (Together 8 yrs.) I fantasize about doing it in front of her (in the shower, in bed next to her), and occasionally the urge surfaces and I feel that if she's not okay with it, she not okay with me, so it happens. I find that she's willing to help me by kissing or fondling me while I'm doing it, but I'm never quite sure if she's turned on or just obliging me. I think the latter probably.

I have no problem at all with my boyfriend masturbating. It's masturbating to porn is what I dislike. I find it disrespecting to me. I wouldn't look at porn because I know he wouldn't be comfortable with it and I find it disrespectful towards him. But nevertheless, he still does it and it makes me feel more and more like dirt every single day. :\

mine doesnt care because she's away in college, but i'm sure if she was here she wouldnt mind either. she'd probably just be compassionate enough to want to help. masturbation and procreation are two different things; if someones stuck in thier ways of masturbating, they'll probably keep doing it. when you touch yourself you know exactly how you want to be touched and it's a differnet experience, you're just trying orgasm as soon as possible. but when you're with someone, you try to stretch it out and enjoy the contact.