She just perplexes me

[bigpappasmurf]

First off, were not dateing or anything; were both 20. Were just really close friends and she's in a relationship. And I'm really not sure what forum to put this in, but I think it fits in right here.

I've been friends for the better part of 5 years, since we were both in high school. Well she flurts with me alot, and so do I, but I dont place that much on it. But the other night, she kissed me. not a peck on the cheek, it was a full blown kiss, it lasted for a long time and really felt meaninfull. I wasn't surprised that surprised about it, she told me about 3 or so hours before that she was going to do it when we were walking around town, but I thought she was jokeing with me. Lately she's been more friendly to me than normal; she knows I really dislike her current choice of men, but I dont pressure her in any part to end the relatioship or pressure her to do anything with me.

She's called me at work telling me she's moveing out, which happened about 4 times already. I've done the nice thing and offered her a place to stay for a bit, I even told her about a friend of mine who's looking for a roommate. Last Christmas she told me her feelings twords me, and to be honest, I have the same feelings about her myself. I kinda feel like i'm starting to play the boyfriend part here.Or maybe she's trying to scope out a new man. The chances are i'm looking to hard into this and its my mind playing tricks with me. I just broke up with my SO about 3 weeks ago when this started. I dont like the idea of infringing on their relationship.

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but I guess I have way to much time on my hands waiting for work to start again and school to start back. Maybe its nothing, maybe its something.

[noodles]

it really comes down to this: if she is interested in a relationship with you, would you enter into one with her? you need to think about this and answer it before something happens

if yes, let things ride. find out where she stands, but since you value her friendship, don't push her. let things happen on their own. don't hide your feelings, but don't force them on her.

if no, still let things ride, but make sure that you spell things out to her if she starts to get too friendly. there's nothing that sucks more than being lead on by someone you want to truly be in a relationship with.

[registrant2000]

If you've been friends for the length of time that you have, I see no reason why you shouldn't just come out and ask her what she's trying to do. I know it's very cliche, but communication is the key! Sure it's risky, but it's better than being left in the dark or guessing where things are in the relationship. Good luck.

[little_tippler]

Originally Posted by noodles

it really comes down to this: if she is interested in a relationship with you, would you enter into one with her? you need to think about this and answer it before something happens

And then, really, just wait a while. She's not single yet right? Give her a chance to see for herself what she wants...if she takes forever to make up her mind, maybe you can nudge her along by letting her know you want her too, subtly. I mean, if you want to be with her that much, don't let it pass you by either.

Good luck