Unidentified Kink or No Kink?
 

My gf does not have any secret desires, fetishes, or hidden kinks. She loves regular sex, but isn't fond of oral or anal, or anything else as near as we can figure. No outdoor action, dress-up fetishes, swinging from the chandelier for her... etc. She's not opposed to going one-on-one with another woman, having a threesome, or more... with the right people. But she's also not actively interested in it.

She talks a good game, but when it comes down to it... she'd rather have one-on-one hetero-sex. She's not a prude, and not timid or quiet... and she always says what she means and means what she says.

Now... I'm pretty open minded... and have a few kinks/fetishes of my own. I'm willing to try pretty much anything once. With the amount of pleasure I get just from simply seeing a woman in boots... I can't imagine anyone not having a passion for "something".

I have two questions:
(1)Is it normal to not have any kinks/fetishes? I thought everyone had to have something that would crank their engine.
(2)Any ideas of kinks/fetishes that we may not have identified?

I don't see why you couldn't consider it normal not to have kinks or fetishes. It might be possible that she has passions for things that she just doesn't think are passions. Sometimes it's hard to express the things that turn us on... like a certain way someone moves.. or a certain "look" that doesn't come with a certain item of clothing or fashion.

What I think is important is that she appears to be willing to explore and try new things, to see if they do or don't turn her on.

And sometimes, people are completely unaware something will turn them on until they try it out. For myself, being tied up didn't really have anything too hot about it, but what someone does to me while I'm tied up does!

She sounds young. Give her time. As woman age they usuall discover more "kinks" and "fetishes."

Very true. My wife really started to discover more fun in the last 2 years.
Always keep the communication going, next thing you know she will spring something on you that blows you away.

Get her a subscription to Cosmo. I love that mag because it turned some of my prude gf's into sex kittens. She probably just needs to be exposed to different things in order to spark her interest.

Does she have orgasms? If so, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

What's kinky to one person might be normal to the next. :)

my partner doesn't have any kinks either. we've been together for a few years now and i've asked him repeatedly for some fantasy i can act out for him...nada. i have quite a few and i've learned to just be happy i have such an accomodating lover. he's willing to try whatever turns me on, and provided it doesn't turn him off, he'll do it at my request.

i just let him know that whenever he discovers something he might like to try--feel free to tell me cause i'd love to give it a go (provided it doesn't violate my very generous bedroom rules).

i understand your frustration. i really wish i could give to my partner the same pleasure he gives me when indulging one of my kinks.

I agree, give her time. My wife didn't open up until 2-3 years into our relationship. You could introduce some of your ideas over time. Take it very slow so she doesn't get freaked out. I can't give you much more than that without knowing more about your fetishes than I want to.

I'm in much the same situation that you've described. We've been married 6 years this year. My wife is wonderful, sweet, open-minded and very open sexually, she just doesn't have any sort of psychological sexual trigger, either. We have a good, if 95% vanilla, sex life--tho not as frequent as either of us would like since our son was born.

Well, to be honest, she may have one possible kink, but won't admit to it as a kink. Totally by accident, we discovered that she really likes to get dressed up, go out, have a nice dinner, a few drinks and on the way home park in some secluded spot and get it on in the back seat. We've established that she's not an exhibitionist and doesn't have a thing for cars...just for high-school-like back seat sex once or twice a month.

So I guess my point is that maybe she does have something that turns her into a tiger and may not be comfortable with the idea of it being a kink.

Anyone else in this boat?

I really think its up to you to widen the horizons. People may think they dont like sushi/classical music/scuba diving. Untill they try it.

I've been a kink since I was like 10. I have a few fetishes, but nothing turned me this way, I just was always like this...

I've always liked gourmet food, good music, cooking and painting too

I dated womaen with kinks and tried many but in the end they did little for me. I came to relize that I love strait hetro sex but am not realy kinky. Some people are just wiered that way.

So now you're not normal unless you like having sex with a spoon shoved up your butt or something?

Everyone has to have some kind of kink?

Spoon, no. Salad tongs...well...=) (Kidding)

Seriously, tho. I don't think anyone is saying folks SHOULD be kinky or not kinky. For those of us who DO get turned on by thrills or leather or boots or spoons up the butt, it's sometimes difficult to imagine that others don't have something similar. Having lived my life always getting a serious sexual charge out of one thing or another, it's difficult to imagine that my wife doesn't experience the same thing.

The country is divided politically, so why not the kinks vs. the no-kinks! :)

I should add, that I'm not suggesting that all sex must be kinky or that I don't fully appreciate good, loving, emotionally-connected vanilla sex. I believe that each has it's place in a relationship. For those of us with partners who don't share our more eccentric interests, it just means that we don't get to express that side of ourselves as often or at all.

I think that what society considers kinky shifts over time. At one time or other in the past, all of the following have been considered taboo. Recreational sex, contraception, non missionary, pre marital, oral, masturbation, homosexuality, female orgasm, anal, .... I could go on.
So when you say "She's not opposed to going one-on-one with another woman, having a threesome, or more..." now thats very vanilla now is it?
perhaps you are saying your wife doesn't want to entertain your kinks?