Co-workers - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jt6879 · 01-08-2005, 08:51 AM

I know this is taboo to me, but I have a coworker who is very flirty, and pretty cute, I have a chance, I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever fooled around at work, and what came of it?

degrawj · 01-08-2005, 09:03 AM

Here's my advice: NEVER flirt around AT work. Very bad idea. Even though you and your co-worker may be okay with it, other co-workers might not be comfortable with it. However, doing something with a co-worker outside of work, is perfectly fine. My last g/f was a co-worker of mine. Personally, i feel that work is a great place to find a date/mate. You already have something pretty in common, not to mention you get to spend the extra time in a controlled environment to know the person. So, once again, my advice: don't fool around AT work, but ask your co-worker out on a date or something if you're that interested. Hope this info has helped you out a bit.

NatureBoy · 01-08-2005, 10:06 AM

Many companies have "No Dating" clauses in their employee manuals and for good reason. Say things don't work out for you two ... in a horrendous way. Now you have to see that person on a semi-regular basis.

aintyoboyfriend · 01-08-2005, 10:20 AM

A long time ago I 'fooled around' with someone at work.

suprisingly nothing bad or good came out of it, it was just a fun thing that broke up a boring day.

Sweetpea · 01-08-2005, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jt6879

I know this is taboo to me, but I have a coworker who is very flirty, and pretty cute, I have a chance, I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever fooled around at work, and what came of it?

yeah, can turn out negative, i dated a guy at work, very short term, i wasn't into him . . . but then you end up seeing them every day and working closely with them . . . it can be a little uncomfortable . . . So ya, if your organization doesn't have a policy against it . . . go ahead, just realize that if it doesn't pan out . . . got some potentially strained times ahead . . .

maleficent · 01-08-2005, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatureBoy

Many companies have "No Dating" clauses in their employee manuals and for good reason. Say things don't work out for you two ... in a horrendous way. Now you have to see that person on a semi-regular basis.

Smart advice... Fishing off the company pier is never wise... (in otherwords, don't date your colleauges, you are there to get a job done, not get a date) Check your HR policy on dating coworkers.

Stompy · 01-08-2005, 11:25 AM

People always say "don't date at work", but do whatever you feel like doing.

You're human. If you're attracted to another person, then so be it. It's ridiculous to pass up a good opportunity because they're a "co-worker". None of that matters.

Forget "company policy" and do what feels right. I'm serious, too. As long as you go to your job, complete your work and do what's assigned, that's all that matters. Meeting someone there is no different than anything else. If you meet someone at a mall it could turn out just as bad, too.

People are too hung up on "Rules".

That's called life. Either take the chance or don't.. but whatever you do, don't let others try to influence your choice based on "rules". If you like her, ask her out. Go for it.

Seriously, in this situation, you do what YOU feel like doing.

st33lr4t · 01-08-2005, 11:39 AM

ive fooled around with a couple different women at the workplace over the years. only once did it turn out ok. my advice would be if you plan on staying there over the years or deal with this person on a regular basis...just say no. i even had a serious relationship with one of them that ended up very bitter...and i still get to see her almost everyday...nice.

Stompy · 01-08-2005, 12:08 PM

If you're immature and have a tendency to hold grudges against failed relationships to the point where it REALLY bugs you to see the person, then yeah, I'd say no.

Otherwise, if it ends and you have a straight head, the only one with a problem would be the other person.

If things don't work out, just end it nicely, that's all.

CityOfAngels · 01-09-2005, 12:15 AM

Stompy speaks words of wisdom. Do what you want to do, what you feel you should do, and forget about the rules. You could be passing up something great due to a stupid rule in the workplace. The job has no right to dictate your life. It should have no affect on your life when you're not at work. If it does, it's time to find a new job.

Rodney · 01-09-2005, 07:42 AM

You're taking a risk. Stompy is right when he says that if you have a tendency to hold grudges, you shouldn't do it. But what about the other person? What if they turn out to be nutbars? What if they can't let go? I've seen it get nasty -- went as far as a sexual harassment charge in one case.

If you don't see them everyday, maybe. But if you work together closely, you're taking a risk. It's only going to work out, or end well, if both of you are normal, mature adults with a bit of wisdom. And what are the odds on that?

asdfasdf1 · 01-09-2005, 09:10 AM

I've been doing it now for the past year and a half.. It's worked out perfectly for me, but I think we're in the odds.. The obvious rules apply, never date anyone you have to see / work with on a daily basis, or someone who you supervise / is your supervisor.

Even in a small company people were just clueing in to the fact that were together after a year, so don't make it public at work, no one wants to see it...

thespian86 · 01-09-2005, 09:28 AM

Yeah, nothing good comes from it... You can't concentrate on anything else and if things go south then you are pretty screwed.

imkeen · 01-09-2005, 10:07 PM

And dammit, don't use email to flirt or have relationship discussions. Security folks love to print those out and hand them to you as they kick your ass out the door. I've seen it happen. (not to me, really)

Lucky Girl · 01-10-2005, 09:33 AM

It is a very big risk! Just be careful, that is all that I have to say.

loonatic8her · 01-10-2005, 02:03 PM

Well I am here to say that if have one of those Career jobs better not risk it... Company policy or not. Just incase things dont work out... sex can be fantastic but if things go sour the person just might be some sort of wacko and make your life a living hell at work... so.... Just think about it!

Mephisto2 · 01-10-2005, 02:24 PM

The phrase "Don't shit on your own doorstep" was coined for a very good reason.

I ignored this advice when I was younger and ended up fucking and dating every single half-normal looking woman in the office (there was about 15 of them), over a 3 year period.

It didn't do my reputation or career prospects any good.

Mr Mephisto

PS - yeah, it was fun, but worth it?

Coppertop · 01-10-2005, 02:29 PM

I dated my boss for a while. It was awesome while it lasted, but then it ended in an ugly mess. Be careful if you enter those waters my friend.

maleficent · 01-10-2005, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imkeen

And dammit, don't use email to flirt or have relationship discussions. Security folks love to print those out and hand them to you as they kick your ass out the door. I've seen it happen. (not to me, really)

It's not just security folks - A friend... yeah that's it a friend ... was an evil network admin, who also happend to be the email admin as well, had some rules set up -- that any emails containing certain phrases.... got forwarded to said evil network admin (What can I say, they got bored easily) They knew exactly what married people were screwing around, who was doing who in the office, who hadn't quite come out of the closet.... etc.. .it was all quite lurid the tales this person knew -- and shared at the departmental christmas party -- paid for with the bribes -- i mean gifts - accepted to remove certain websites from the company firewall reports before said reports got forwarded on...

never ever ever use company email for personal business -- evil It people exist everywhere...

robertjtucker · 01-14-2005, 11:37 AM

I had sex in my Boss's, boss's office with my boss. She was great had her bent over the desk. Used to have a polaroid of it. We had a relationship for about 5 years, it was great fun. Like Bo used to say "Just do it"

desal75 · 01-14-2005, 01:24 PM

I met the love of my life at work. It was awesome going there every morning and knowing I would see her

Bacchanal · 01-14-2005, 01:36 PM

I thought I'd met the love of my life at work too. Now I hate her, but she doesn't work there anymore, so who cares?

I've dated a bunch of girls at my job, both my kids are results of dating girls from work, so I cant honestly say anything bad about it. Then again I work in an office with 5 other guys, the girls are always in some other department, so I rarely have to see them at all if I dont want to.

I agree to some extent that it might not be the best idea in the world, especially if you work right next to the person, or will have to see them alot, but I dont see limiting yourself as a good choice either. I always hate asking "What if..".

01-08-2005, 08:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
jt6879 Crazy	Co-workers I know this is taboo to me, but I have a coworker who is very flirty, and pretty cute, I have a chance, I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever fooled around at work, and what came of it?

01-08-2005, 11:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
Stompy Banned from being Banned Location: Donkey	People always say "don't date at work", but do whatever you feel like doing. You're human. If you're attracted to another person, then so be it. It's ridiculous to pass up a good opportunity because they're a "co-worker". None of that matters. Forget "company policy" and do what feels right. I'm serious, too. As long as you go to your job, complete your work and do what's assigned, that's all that matters. Meeting someone there is no different than anything else. If you meet someone at a mall it could turn out just as bad, too. People are too hung up on "Rules". That's called life. Either take the chance or don't.. but whatever you do, don't let others try to influence your choice based on "rules". If you like her, ask her out. Go for it. Seriously, in this situation, you do what YOU feel like doing. __________________ I love lamp. Last edited by Stompy; 01-08-2005 at 11:33 AM..

01-08-2005, 12:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
Stompy Banned from being Banned Location: Donkey	If you're immature and have a tendency to hold grudges against failed relationships to the point where it REALLY bugs you to see the person, then yeah, I'd say no. Otherwise, if it ends and you have a straight head, the only one with a problem would be the other person. If things don't work out, just end it nicely, that's all. __________________ I love lamp.

01-09-2005, 09:28 AM	#13 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Yeah, nothing good comes from it... You can't concentrate on anything else and if things go south then you are pretty screwed. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

01-10-2005, 09:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
Lucky Girl Upright	It is a very big risk! Just be careful, that is all that I have to say. __________________ Lucky Girl

01-08-2005, 09:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
degrawj I'm still waiting... Location: West Linn, OR	Here's my advice: NEVER flirt around AT work. Very bad idea. Even though you and your co-worker may be okay with it, other co-workers might not be comfortable with it. However, doing something with a co-worker outside of work, is perfectly fine. My last g/f was a co-worker of mine. Personally, i feel that work is a great place to find a date/mate. You already have something pretty in common, not to mention you get to spend the extra time in a controlled environment to know the person. So, once again, my advice: don't fool around AT work, but ask your co-worker out on a date or something if you're that interested. Hope this info has helped you out a bit.

01-08-2005, 10:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
NatureBoy Crazy	Many companies have "No Dating" clauses in their employee manuals and for good reason. Say things don't work out for you two ... in a horrendous way. Now you have to see that person on a semi-regular basis.

01-08-2005, 10:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	A long time ago I 'fooled around' with someone at work. suprisingly nothing bad or good came out of it, it was just a fun thing that broke up a boring day.

01-08-2005, 11:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
st33lr4t Psycho Location: Dallas, Tx	ive fooled around with a couple different women at the workplace over the years. only once did it turn out ok. my advice would be if you plan on staying there over the years or deal with this person on a regular basis...just say no. i even had a serious relationship with one of them that ended up very bitter...and i still get to see her almost everyday...nice.

01-09-2005, 07:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	You're taking a risk. Stompy is right when he says that if you have a tendency to hold grudges, you shouldn't do it. But what about the other person? What if they turn out to be nutbars? What if they can't let go? I've seen it get nasty -- went as far as a sexual harassment charge in one case. If you don't see them everyday, maybe. But if you work together closely, you're taking a risk. It's only going to work out, or end well, if both of you are normal, mature adults with a bit of wisdom. And what are the odds on that?

01-09-2005, 09:10 AM	#12 (permalink)
asdfasdf1 Upright	I've been doing it now for the past year and a half.. It's worked out perfectly for me, but I think we're in the odds.. The obvious rules apply, never date anyone you have to see / work with on a daily basis, or someone who you supervise / is your supervisor. Even in a small company people were just clueing in to the fact that were together after a year, so don't make it public at work, no one wants to see it...

01-09-2005, 10:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
imkeen Insane	And dammit, don't use email to flirt or have relationship discussions. Security folks love to print those out and hand them to you as they kick your ass out the door. I've seen it happen. (not to me, really)

01-10-2005, 02:03 PM	#16 (permalink)
loonatic8her Crazy Location: Greater Atlanta, Ga.	Well I am here to say that if have one of those Career jobs better not risk it... Company policy or not. Just incase things dont work out... sex can be fantastic but if things go sour the person just might be some sort of wacko and make your life a living hell at work... so.... Just think about it!

01-10-2005, 02:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	The phrase "Don't shit on your own doorstep" was coined for a very good reason. I ignored this advice when I was younger and ended up fucking and dating every single half-normal looking woman in the office (there was about 15 of them), over a 3 year period. It didn't do my reputation or career prospects any good. Mr Mephisto PS - yeah, it was fun, but worth it?

01-10-2005, 02:29 PM	#18 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	I dated my boss for a while. It was awesome while it lasted, but then it ended in an ugly mess. Be careful if you enter those waters my friend.

01-14-2005, 11:37 AM	#20 (permalink)
robertjtucker Upright Location: Durham, NC	I had sex in my Boss's, boss's office with my boss. She was great had her bent over the desk. Used to have a polaroid of it. We had a relationship for about 5 years, it was great fun. Like Bo used to say "Just do it"

01-14-2005, 01:24 PM	#21 (permalink)
desal75 Psycho Location: Western New York	I met the love of my life at work. It was awesome going there every morning and knowing I would see her __________________ The Man in Black fled across the desert and the Gunslinger followed.

01-14-2005, 01:36 PM	#22 (permalink)
Bacchanal Laid back Location: Jayhawkland	I thought I'd met the love of my life at work too. Now I hate her, but she doesn't work there anymore, so who cares? I've dated a bunch of girls at my job, both my kids are results of dating girls from work, so I cant honestly say anything bad about it. Then again I work in an office with 5 other guys, the girls are always in some other department, so I rarely have to see them at all if I dont want to. I agree to some extent that it might not be the best idea in the world, especially if you work right next to the person, or will have to see them alot, but I dont see limiting yourself as a good choice either. I always hate asking "What if..".