Swapping and such
 

After being married for awhile, my SO and noticed that we talk the most about sexual things after we watch some sort of porn. thats when we talk about things we want to try, things we dont like, so on and so on. well, whats come up now is threesomes. Yes i know this topic has been discussed at length already, but that where i'm headed.

Whats your opinion on spouse swapping? thats one of the things that we have been talking about.

also, (this i havent told her) have you ever had anything involving a cousin?

we are getting ready to go to San Antonio for a weekend to go shopping and such, and we will be staying with one of her cousins. her cousin happens to be a very open, and of course, horny, girl. i'm curious that if anything should come up (a threesome), should i go for it or leave it alone?


any input would be great.

If your marriage can handle it, then I guess go for it, but it seems to me that threesomes lead down a very slippery slope for marriages.

I hope things work out well for you.

I would really talk about it first... and make sure it's something you both want, otherwise it could lead to problems down the road.

But sex with a cousin? Not first cousins I hope? That, to me, would be a huge Don't. It's family... Random stranger might be better.

*dueling banjoes playing off in the distance*
Cousin???

Hey now I have a hot as hell 2nd cousin, I'd be all over her in a heartbeat if I got the chance. Of course the fact that I live in AL doesn't help my case. :)

Besides if its his wife's cousin then its not technically incest, for him anyway

If all parties are willing and understand the consequenses then I say do it.

I am assuming it is your wife's cousin...right?

This has "bad idea" written all over it. Her cousin? That can't turn out well. What if they have a family reunion or something...I can just imagine the awkwardness. Talk to your wife about it. It sounds like you guys have open communication but if this is something you are hesistant about, there's probably a reason for it.

Rinndalir: Thanks for confirming a questionable stereotype :thumbsup:

Threesomes are fun, and so is "wife-swapping," otherwise known as swinging. My wife and I are as such, and it's a great lifestyle to lead, if your marriage can handle it. Communication is the absolute most important thing.

As for the cousin thing...it's your wife's cousin, so for you it wouldn't be a big deal. So long as the two women don't mind playing around each other, I wouldn't be too concerned. Again, communication is key, and the understanding that "no" or "stop" means PRECISELY that.

To add to the "family" thing, I have a cutie sis-in-law that I'd love to get in bed. Not likely to happen, but a guy can wish.

I don't think I could ever do that, I know its supposed to have no emotional attachment and such, and even if it didnt, isnt it important to make your wife feel special and that she is the only one you need? It's your choice, I just could never do it.

HAH! One of my profs used to teach where you live. He loves making fun of you guys. :D

Definition man to the rescue here: incest is only sexual intercourse between immediate family members. Cousins (even first cousins) don't count as incest. Also, while socially stigmatized in North America, it's not very biologically detrimental to offspring, and most of the rest of the world is pretty much okay with it, from what I understand.

i thought that was West Virginia??

anyway...i would love to try a threesome myself...but i dont ever see that happening tho :|

I'm working on getting a threesome together, but I'm still two people short :(
If its consentual, then I don't see what could be wrong with it... if the cousin's 18, that is.

I thought swinging was made for TV only. ie. A recent episode of CSI and also the movie "The Ice Storm". But I guess it's gotta come from somewhere.

Personally, I think I would have a hard time doing it because I wouldn't want to share my wife with another man. Mind you, I'd be lying if I said I never thought about nailing some of my friends wives... or my mother in law for that matter....

Hmmm

I know I couldn't do it. I have one of those possessive mindsets. It would eat at me forever to know or see that my wife was with another man. I think it's because sex is not just physical in my mind and I can't separate it, but that's just me.

No. Way. No. Thanks.

I'm with you there.

But I have to admit to wanting to give in and try anyways just because I can be a hornball and I know *I* could sleep with someone I am emotionaly tied to, and still come home without even a flinch, but to watch him sleep with someone else is what stops me/us from getting into this kind of thing. We've talked about it many many times. We have some friends (a couple) who swing on a regular basis, and after a big long discussion I don't think right now is the time for us to get into that kind of thing. I am still too comfy being hubbies one and only (biggest reason for me to fear another woman, even tho I wasn't a virgin when we got together, and his reason for wanting more 'experience'...) Makes me wonder if it's as different for guys as it is for girls...the comparison of 'feeling'...anyways I'm rambling and I need to go pack for a trip up north with the girls :)

As for the cousin thing, I myself, having thought about this over night, would have to express my concern by saying, Family isn't a place I would go with this sort of thing. I would definatly go for a 'stranger' first, and I would make the first time mutual for both parties, not just a threesome (unless the wifey is bi, and would enjoy another female as much as you...but not her cousin). Then spend a lot of time talking about it, if the cousin situation comes up after a night with a stranger, then consider bringing it up to her, but don't force it. TALK TALK TALK! It helps :) along with making sure it's not just about one of you. Have fun, Good luck!

Swinging, would love to, but not sure about my wife, I know she's in no way shape or from interested. Our marriage could survive. As for a cousin, man that's just wrong. Whether hers or yours, it doesn't matter, family doesn't play with family.

I think the fact that you are asking this forum rather that your SO whether this is a good idea indicates that you may already know the answer. perhaps you are hoping an outsider could come up with some cousin lovin' justification for you.

We have done a lot of swapping in the past (before the baby), and it really strengthened our relationship. It was also a HUGE turn on for us both. If you guys talk it through, and think you can do it, give it a shot. My one word of warning is that it is often hard to find a couple who is truly compatible. It's one of those things where it is hard enough for 2 people to get along, let alone 4. So make sure you don't end up with the crazy people and you should be fine. We had a couple couples who "just weren't ready" to swap, but were trying it because one half of the couple really wanted to.

I'm amazed at how many people are disturbed by the notion of the two women being cousins, considering one of the largest portrayed fantasies in the media is a threesome with twins. Second cousins are a LOT farther apart than twin sisters.....

Not that I'm supporting anything, just an observation.

we have already talked about it at length. i was just curious what other peoples opinions would be.

Well, at one point I was all for trying a threesome and I wanted one dearly but now that I think about it I couldn't go through with it...The only way would be two random girls and lets face it, i'm with the one i'm going to be with forever and i'm no super hot model guy so I'd never get that opportunity. But If its your thing, its your thing. More power to you, I just couldn't do it.

Hey...if you do it...get pics! So long as everyone approves, of course.

Flesh is flesh...

Anyone seen 'The Secret Life of Swingers' on VH1? They went through 3 couples, if I remember right, that were in different stages of swinging. Since I don't know anyone that is into this it really brought life to what it really is.

My wife and I talked about threesomes briefly, before we were married, but haven't since. I'm positive it will never happen. I'm sure she would be jealous. I'm not sure if I would be or not. I like to think I'm open-minded and a horn-dog, so it wouldn't be an issue, but its hard to say not being remotely close to HAVING to evaluate those feelings.

As long as you've both talked at length and often about how this would work and came to terms with the subtleties, I can't imagine that this would be an issue.

First cousins doesn't mean anything...its, once again, the great religious compass of the United States that makes us believe that doing things with first cousins is 'morally' wrong. Ignore it. Its bullshit.

I've done the multiple partner thing before. Once was when a buddy of mine and I did a tag team on a girl, the others were buying prostitutes in Thailand. Threesomes (or more) are great when everyone involved is cool with it. You've both talked about it. What was her opinion on the matter?

In catalan, there's this saying: Com més cosins, més endins. Explanation: The closer two cousins are, the deeper it's going to get.

she really doesnt have an opinion on it. we both know that her cousin is VERY open minded. its not something that we are planning on doing, its just one of the 'what ifs' that we talked about.