Anyone else with this problem during sex
 

Just curious but does anyone else out there have a problem where they cum too quick. I want to please the girl also but as soon as I am inside of here for less then 2 minutes or max at 3 minutes I want to cum already.

I've tried stopping and just kissing her neck and mouth for a couple of minutes hoping that it will make it last longer. But, as soon as I start pumping her again It takes me less then a minute and half or so and I is about to cum already.

I tried taking it out and giving it like 20 or so second hoping to stop the urge to cum so fast but as soon as I again start pumping her it doesn't take me more then a few minutes to wanting to cum again.

Again, I want to please her and what do you guys out there do to last longer. I want to see if there is anything I can do so that I can last longer during sex basiclly.

Yes, I do finger, masterbate her and eat her out but it just takes a very long time for her to get turned on.

Suggestions to help me last longer? Anyone?

The main key to this is to keep on practicing ! But for now I'd suggest during penetration to slow down the speed a little and stay busy (kissing, touching, moaning...)

Concentrating on your breathing may help also. Don't over exagerate the breathing to make it look like your in labor. That might remind her what could be the consequence of sex and she might stop! haha ! just kidding ;)

if you know you are going to have a sexual encounter with her, rub one off before you go over their. that way, the built up sexual urges are gone. cumming that quick could be a good thing, you find her so unbelieveably sexy, that she causes you to cum to quickly :)

but.. but... :confused:

ah nevermind

I feel as if I dont pump her fast and just go slow, she won't really get turned on. She did once tell me that I was going too slow and that is why she is having a hard time getting turned on. :(

I do slow down but it seems no matter what I try it just have the urge to still needing to cum too quick.

I've always had this problem ever since I had sex the very first time. Cumming too fast.

Does anyone else have a problem like this and what did they do to help resolve it?

I have thought about seeing a specialist about it but I feel very awkard telling them my problem. So I never had the courage to do it. On here I have more courage to talk about it since I am not face to face with the person.

But dang going to a specialist and telling them "Hi, I have a problem. I cumm too quick." :crazy:

didn't have that problem, but I have heard a solution for it.

Start masturbating, when you feel like you are about to cum, stop, let yourself calm down, and repeat. If you keep on doing this you should be able to gain more control over when you cum and increase the time it takes you to get to orgasm.

you don't need to answer if you dont' want to but i might help you better with a bit of knowledge...

how old are you ?
how much experience do you have ?

I also think this solution involves :
When your ready to cum you need to apply pressure around the upper area (but still lower than the head), this will stop you (usually) from ejaculating.

Repeat over and over until it pisses you off (cause it would for me) lol

I have tried that. I have even masterbated first then wait like 2 hours or so and then have sex but I still cum quick. :(

I am 28 years old.
I been having sex since 16

hmmm... well try the pressure thing... lemme know if it works someday

good luck :)

I'll give that a try and let ya know. I just wish that I can last longer sheesh. To tell ya the truth, I have even tried Viagra but I don't stay hard after I cum. I thought it was going to work but I guess not for me. Wish it worked though. :(

But, wouldn't that be just as if you took it out and wait like 20 or so second and then sticking it back in when your doing that?

Strange I have this same problem with my wife. I make up for it with lots of oral forplay for her. When she is sucking me or anything else I can last for a long time but for some reason when it comes to intercourse it's the same thing a few mnutes and I'm ready to explode. Ive had other women and didn't have the problem. But my wife I just can't last inside her. I always make sure I satisfie her until she begs me to be inside her first. And she says she loves the fact that she feels that good to me that I can't take it. But Ive decided to possibly try some desensitize spray or something just to try something different and see how it goes.

Not really, when you feel ready to cum during masterbation, hold with pressure and then the urge will go away in a few seconds, then repeat .

I think that's how it was explained...

Oral, I can last forever. Hand job and inside of her I can't. If she tightens it up I won't even last longer then a minute.



Dark Assailant - I'll test it out and post the results I get here.

Okay two things, masterbation is like training for sex, that why babies do it even though they get nothing out of it. Masterbating 2 hours before may help, but you need to do it more, it will help Desensitize you, and let you last longer.

Also and more important Oral skills are a must, it may help if she went Oral on you first, get the first out of the way and then went to town.

right on !

I think the cumming too quickly all comes down to how much she turns you on and how much being inside her turns you on. When I first started dating my last girlfriend I could last as long as I wanted but towards the middle of the relationship after I started falling in love with her I aquired the same quick cumming problem. Nothing I could do could help it. Tried oral sex and masturbating before hand but that only granted an extra minute or so. But I think all the information so far is all very good: the desensitizing and learning to control your orgasm through masturbation.

i don't face this problem often but i do know what you're talking about. sometimes, i simply can't last that long! my solution? think of a number between 2 and 9, inclusive (i usually use 8) and start doubling (i.e. 8, 16, 24, 32, etc.)

the caveat is that you have to start counting as soon as you recognize that you're not going to last that long. it works for me because conscious distraction from the concept of orgasm translates into physical distraction from orgasm. i think...

Someone mentioned practising during masturbation. You can essentially do the same muscle excercise any time of the day without anyone knowing. When your doing your homework or whatever, try to tighten the muscles around your dick that u feel when your trying to hold in a piss, and hold them tense as long as u can bare to. (if your still confused, next time your taking a whizz, try and stop pissing mid way)
this will help your staying power a bit, but uve got to be religious about the excercises

With sex though, its more a need to become accustomed. One very basic solution to this which can work well in the long term is using 2 condoms. Heck, use 2 thick condoms, as long as it slightly de-sensitises you, but allows you to maintain an erection. The girl won't mind as it won't affect her pleasure at all, and is infact safer. Whats more is you'll last a lot longer.
After a few times like this, see how you go, when your ready, go down to one condom.
Just think of them like training wheels.
If this fails, have a wank an hour before you see her...

For some people this is just a phase, for others it sticks with them into adulthood, either way if you learn how to please her during foreplay, the you will have sweaty-monkey-jungle-sex no matter how long you last;)

I have the exact same problem, 37 years old, used to take ages, now sometimes i can cum as quick as 1 minute, sometimes about 3 minutes. Not sure what the hell is going on.......all I know is it pisses my wife off and she blames me, making me feel inadequate. It all started after the birth of my second son, maybe because she was delicate afterwards that has a sub concious contributing factor.

Anyway, I babble on, I tried the masturbate for a time until you feel like cumming, stop, rest, continue, over and over again........didn't work (had to be done on my own, because by this time the wife didn't feeel it was her duty to help)

I tried the excercises with the muscles down there......again didn't work

Finally i bought some Durex Performa condoms, the first time we made love with them it got to the point where I thought I wouldn't cum. I think we lasted over 15 minutes......that's not to say it lasts this long every time, but usually between 6 and 15 minutes.

Hope this helps.

I disagree. Using two condoms at the same time is a bad idea...you run the risk of them both ripping. I'm pretty sure you don't want to go there.

I used to cum fairly quickly when I was younger, and I used to find Spanking my Monkey before sex helped me to last longer.

Trust me, if nothing else works, age will help :)
Now I can hold off as long as I like.

I really don't worry too much about it. Yeah I try everything I can to slow down, but if you put a little work into it, ie. use your fingers and tongue for a while first, I've noticed most girls don't mind if you only last 5-10 minutes if you've given them 3-4 orgasmss manually already. =)

I suggest you try the Performa condom (or a similar brand):

The condom contains "Benzokain" a cream that anaesthetize the penis a bit and thereby reduces the feeling in it.

The condom is the best selling in Holland and France and are in great demand in Denmark as well. I guess that means it works :D

fortunatly no...i can keep the control quite well...
You should try to think to something else...during penetration..

Thank goodness someone else with some sense! Using two condoms is always a bad idea, with the ONE exception of using one latex and one non-latex condom (usually b/c either you or your partner are allergic to latex).


As for the cumming early part, I run into something similar, though I think for different reasons. I darn near get off by getting a girl off, even if she isn't touching me, so by the time we get to sex I'm already half spent :(

Here is a technique that I have mastered:

When you get the urge to cum, slow down a bit and at the split second you are about to stop. Here is the tricky part, you need to long far enough that you cum, but not far enough that you orgasm. After that, you should be good to go for about 20-30 more min.

I've found the old saying of "think of baseball" helps. If I put my mind in a completely different world and concentrate on something complicated like computer coding and the complexities of it and how it works.... it usually makes me last alot longer. Haha, one time I got so into what I was thinking that I couldn't cum at all. Over achiever ;)

LOL.... I tried that already dunt work for me. I even tried to think that I am staring at an ugly as.s girl. Tried to control my blood pressure in my dik to let it flow instead of being stuck in my dik. No good either.

Im going to try the Performa condom tomorrow to see if it helps or work.

Many thanks to the others for the info about the Durex Performa condoms.

There are several things you can do to improve your performance.

1. Kegels for men. Here is a great link that describes them: link

2. Controlled breathing. Controlling your breathing so that you remain calm can really help a lot. For me, this is most important. When you feel like you're going to cum, notice that your breathing is probably fast, with short breaths. From the very start, try breathing normally while you're penetrating your girl to reduce your body's excitement and sense of urgency. Slow, calm breaths are your friend. (This is why studs last a really long time - they're not excited about having sex because they do it all the time and it's no big deal.)

3. Counting. Like someone else mentioned, start counting. What you can do is just start counting seconds or thrusts. Have a number in mind that you want to reach, like, say, 300, which will indicate that you've been penetrating for 5 minutes if you're counting seconds. You may not reach that goal the first few times, but keep practicing so that you reach a higher number each time. Then you can start increasing your goals. Focusing on counting plus your breathing can help you a lot.

4. Position. Perhaps there are positions that reduce your sensitivity? Some men (and women) like having the woman on top. Having her on top can make her cum faster because she controls where your dick touches her inside. Plus, you can remain calmer and more focused on your breathing because you're just lying there, enjoying the view. ;)

5. Stopping. You say that you've tried stopping and just kissing her, but with no success. Perhaps trying this with the controlled breathing will help. I've seen sex therapists on TV recommend having the woman squeeze your penis just below the head with her hand to stop you from cumming, then, when you've recomposed yourself, resume penetration. I don't know about this advice though, when I'm ready to cum, having her squeeze my dick really hard with her hand makes me explode. :o

6. Cumming before penetration. Like the others have said, rub one out a couple hours before. Even better, have her relieve you orally or with her hand prior to intercourse. After you've cum, you can continue to pleasure her orally or with your fingers for at least a good 20 minutes or so until you're ready to be hard again. Plus, by then, she's probably begging you to get inside of her and she may cum quickly. Perhaps she'll even cum before you and you can continue to pump and give her several shuddering orgasms, each one more intense than the last... That's when you're the stud. ;)

And who says you have to stop if you cum during intercourse? With doing the Kegel exercises, you can reduce your recovery time. Some guys even claim they can stay hard after orgasm. Just clean up in the bathroom, get a new condom ready, pleasure her some more while you recover, and start again. I guarantee you that you will not cum as quickly the second time. And if so, go for a third. ;)

Good luck. Let us know what works for you.

Have you experimented with cock rings?

http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/cock.html

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2318.html

I used to be in the same boat. I was just getting used to my girlfriend and after a while it became repetitive. I started doing things differently lately. You need to get mad, seriously. I've started fvcking the heck out of her and it works like a charm, dont focus so much on how you sensitive your penis is, but focus more on using your whole body. Now this doesnt necessarily mean you need to be fast and hard. Just put your back into it :thumbsup:

The Trojan Extended Pleasure's work really well too. My SO can go a good 45 minutes with those. He's also masturbating more often now and consequently, he's learning a lot about how his body works. If he masturbates before we have sex he can last a very long time. He does the kegels as well. It just takes time, it didn't just happen over night.

Good luck !

Personally I don't see cumming as a definite end to a sexual encounter. You just have to make sure she's occupied enough until your ready to go again. Sometimes it doesn't work, depending on her mood, but I haven't got any complaints yet.... Definitely try out some of the other suggestions in this thread, though. Longer time before ejaculation + multiple times = happy people. Usually

Think about your mother

have her go on top for a while, i find it a lot harder to go with my fiance on top than the reverse, switch it up, try lots of different positions, have fun!

at least you cum, the first time I had sex I lasted an hour and a half, and then she got sore... so she sucked me off to finish. Try different positions.... maybe one of those extended pleasure condoms

Add me to the list. We have a baby and we both work fulltime, so we have to make time for sex. Its usually been 3-4 days since the last time so I'm ready to blow anyway, and my wife really gets into it with scratching and hair pulling and screaming... :crazy:

What I usually do is get her off before I actually enter her, then that first time is usually pretty short. Recover for 10-20 minutes then go again. Now for me the 2nd time is never as good as the 1st, and I sometimes have trouble cummimg again BUT I can last a long time and when she yells "fuck me harder" I can actually do it without blowing. She almost always cums, sometimes more than once, which makes it worth it even if I don't have another one.

Think about the ugliest woman you can dream up.

But seriously, if you think it really is a problem, get a checkup from a good doctor. Also in addition to some of the other suggestions as far as holding ejaculate whilst masturbating, try stopping the flow of urine when peeing and holding it. This will help in muscle control for holding back ejaculation as well.

Something that I have found to work that I never would have imagined is I have discovered that my wife is a "squirter". Knowing that if I apply myself she can come several times during a session has helped me accomplish lasting longer.

Holy cow..... I just used a Durex Performa and could last forever now but I can't cum. confused: It numbs the sh.it out of my dik and eventually when I pull it out it shrinks as if Im not turned on anymore.

How is the Durex Featherlite? Does that have the desensitize stuff in the featherlite condoms also but with less desensitizing?

A few people mentioned kegels and those are good for strengthening your PC muscles but they won't help you stave off an orgasm. The reason they don't help with premature ejaculation is because the movement pulls your prostate gland closer to the penis, which increases the stimulation and thus will actually make you cum sooner. However, doing reverse kegels might help you with your problem. Instead of squeezing your muscles, you push out with them, as if you're trying to force out the stream of urine. This will move your prostate gland farther away from your penis. Try doing it while masturbating and you'll probably find that you can last much longer; some guys can last almost indefinitely.

~~

Aside from the kegel/reverse kegel (btw, the reverse ones work REALLY well) muscle exercises that have been mentioned, you can probably help yourself mentally too. When you're having sex, instead of concentrating on how awesome it feels (which I imagine you are), you could try concentrating REALLY hard on your technique, and aspects of it that aren't directly related to the nerves in your penis. If your mind isn't on it, you might be able to last a lot longer.

Kegels and breathing exercises definately rock. When you feel yourself starting to get close to climax, slow down a bit and look away a bit, and focus on controlling your breathing. A nice, deep, steady breathing pattern will do. It does wonders.

I'd also recommend the "sacrificial lamb" idea that others mentioned - have her go down on you, give you a handjob, or just rub one out shortly before you have sex. If you get the first one out of the way, the second one will typically take longer.

With the regards to the excercises, another good way to get into the habit of doing them is to just excercise while listening to music. I listen to a lot of beat-heavy techno, so I basically make my penis dance to the music while I'm on the computer.

Makes DDR a lot more interesting as well.

This is actually what works best for me. Do it till you cum just a bit, that way you're still hard, but not as sensitive.

I haven't tried any special condoms, although i've heard that they do work well. My gf says she doesn't want anything to "aid" us though so that's why i've never tried them.

:D at the last bit!

I never understood guys who complain about cumming too fast. (no offense)
Just tell the girl you usually cum too fast and after you've cum for the first time and if she's had any experience with men, she'll know that you're up and running in no time.
A frind of mine says he can cum about four times a night. (4x10min fo heavy pounding + orals = well satisfied women)

My problem is that it usually takes me about an hour to cum, foreplays included. The women more than often complain about going sore, before I have a chance to cum...

I know that this question is probably for the guys but my * X * had the same problem with me, he couldn't last to save his life. I just wanted to see if anyone who is responding to your question could explain why that sort of thing happens?

80-proof seems to do the trick for me. ;)

Do those exercises really do a lot? It seems like a whole lot of work, but for how much reward?

Well, I understand your problem...kinda. See I'm at the other side of the line here. I just don;t get off from sex or oral! WHat a sad, sad life I live. Sometimes, I think that I focus too hard on pleasing my partner, so try that. I mean, put all of your desires to explode all over the place and focus on her breathing, her body language, etc. and see if that helps. Also, Anyone have any advice for me?

Check out The Multi-Orgasmic Man. It covers the male Kegel's, methods for maintaining an erection, how to get to that euphoric zone of an orgasm without ejaculating and a bunch of other stuff. My favorite technique is the 9 and 1, but only if I can count that high while in the throes of sexual ecstasy.

Good luck.

Also known as Whiskey Dick. :lol: :thumbsup:

If a guy is nervous about having sex, he probably won't last as long. And the reason that so many guys are nervous about sex is because there's a lot of pressure to perform. I find that women often place unreal expectations on men to perform sexually. I laugh to myself women say things like "If a guy can't last for an hour, I don't want to bother with him" when guys last, on average, about 2-3 minutes.

or grandma. hers, yours, anybodys. if you cum thinking about a grandma, then you have a bigger problem, and maybe you'll forget about this one. :p

I have had a similar problem in the past. I've tried many things: Double-baggin' it (don't recommend it... too expensive!), counting or other "think not sexy thoughts" type of things, masturbating beforehand, etc.

Things that I found to work great: Have a hard workout that day (or just exercise more in general), pre-sex whackin', changing positions frequently during sex, Have a drink or four before you do the deed. 3 of the ones I just mentioned help you R-E-L-A-X. Being tense is not good. For me, the counting thing worked but I felt like I was really cheating myself out of having a good time by putting my mind on other less, exciting things (like numbers). What's the point of having sex if you're not into it?

Also, I most certainly found that I could last longer when I was having sex more frequently. Just practice lots!!! This is key.

Frequent masturbation/sex and a good hard workout for me are the best combination. I've surprised myself on numerous occasions by doing those two things pre-sex.

Excellent advice from my gf: Never feel bad about cumming... No matter how fast. Just enjoy it and try for longer the next time. If you don't last very long, there are other ways of pleasin' a woman.

I don't expect a guy to last an hour not even 30mins but at least longer than 5mins & If he can't last for 10mins I wouldn't bother because to me thats a tease especially if he isn't showing signs of improvement or that he is trying to do his best, some animals last longer then most men... Thats the sad part.

I'll say it again, guys last about 2-3 minutes on average. You're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Don't worry about it. Just get it up and go at it again. It will take a lot longer to cum a second time, if you can at all.

I think this is called normal.

Thanks for the update invalidiuser.

Thank you very much for posting this info. I'd never heard of reverse kegels before.

Thank you for this info too.

In my experience, I have found that how long I last is 90% psychological, and it may be that way for you too.

If I go into bed excited and all geared up for sex and it has been a while, I find that I come very quickly.

However, if I'm very calm and not worked up about getting laid, I can go for a good 45mins-an hour. A bottle of Vodka also helps with this ;)

I think thats all the advice I can offer. Hope things work out!

what about using that thing that makes you last forever and use it till she is close to cumming and u pull it off, makes you have a soft one again, and give her you're full load.

We already have most covered here with reverse kegels and all, but let's put some more general on it. The muscle spasms that occur when you are about to cum is what you want to avoid if you don't want to come "early". Most men are aware of the point where they begin their orgasm, usually you begin to feel those spasms or whatever you call it (I hope you understand what I'm trying to describe). What you want to do is avoid coming into that state because when you're there it's only a matter of time before you're going to come. I don't know if it's hormones or what, but it's hard not to when you're there.
Anyway, teverse kegels is really the way to go. You can usually help it on your way by being relaxed in your hips and in your groin area. Ironically many men are so afraid they might come early that they tense up completely and this actually makes them come even faster. So practise your kegels (didn't know they were called that until today) and utilise it while masturbating. Learn to be completely aware of how you slip into orgasm and learn to detect when you're doing that. Most of all be completely comfortable with how you feel during sex. For a few people coming early is a direct physical problem, but for most it's more psychological so working on it and gaining some confidence is the most important thing.

You know what could help? Trojan condoms with Climax Control. I tried them out and believe me, they make you feel like your dick isn't even there. You will not cum even if you want to. I almost got soft one time because I simply couldn't feel anything. Of course, you should use it if pleasing her is more important to you than pleasing yourself. Don't get Durex ones, they're weak. Get Trojan.

EDIT: I don't know if anybody mentioned this, but there are cock rings that might help you. Basically it's a ring that you put close to the base of the shaft and it stops blood from going out and sperm from going in. Basically you can last as long as you want as long as you have it on.

I'll echo what many others have said.........

I think I'm very similar to you, and probably to a lot of other men. For me it's the idea, and thoughts that go into sex that put me over the top sooner than I want. I just get too into it. The problem is I don't want to be any less into it.

What I've found that works is, first of all make sure you please your woman first and foremost. Give her great oral and make her cum. Everything from that point on is icing on an already good cake for her. Then invest in the Trojan Extended Pleasure. I've found I can completely control myself in these. Sometimes it's a little bit hard to cum, but if I really concentrate on the feelings and thoughts of what I'm doing then I can cum.........unless of course I've been drinking heavily, and then it might not happen.

Anyway, follow those steps and you and she will be very happy.

I also take a long time to get aroused. What my b/f and I have found is that he will work on me (kissing, necking, sucking) that sort of thing. He'll even finger and do oral a bit.

He will get me to a point that I am almost about to orgasm. Once this occurs, we'll have sex. He comes faster then me, so by working me up to orgasm we end up coming together (most of the time).

fortunatly for me i can cum very quickly so even guys that dont last long caan get me off... but as for the guys that know how to last long i can cum again... and again... and... well u get the idea... but when i was youngeri had a hard time climaxing... i found that by mixing it up a bit and changing postions and tempo can help a guy last longer

Once a long time ago, I suggested to a friend of mine to think of our Economics teacher if he was starting to lose it. (this was way back in high school). He reported back that this worked wonders.. Basically just stop for a few seconds and think of something else.. The wall tress, cars passing by, anything to get your mind on something else for a few seconds to regain your composure

just try to have her get on top.. then your not so worked up.. then pump her

As much as I hate to say it, not too much oral to get started. If you get all the way to the edge, it's hard to step back.

Just tell the girl your problem (if she doesnt already know). Tell her that you need her to suck you off every time before sex. As soon as she does that, you'll be golden if you do it quickly after.