How to say this?

[Shades]

Basically, I have met what I consider to be the perfect girl. She's smart, she's funny, she's beautiful, and she might be able to drink me under the table. However, because we've been introduced as friends of a mutual friend, I may be stuck in the friends zone. What's a good, tactful, honest way of telling her that, under no circumstances will I be just friends with her. I want to be her best friend, I want to be her closest confidant, the person that I stand with for the rest of our lives, side by side, us against the world until we die. I want the honest chance to see if this is just infatuation or the beginning of the kind of love affair that redefines the very notion of love. I want to tell her that the brightest part of my day is talking to her and the best part of my week is seeing her.

thoughts?

[la petite moi]

Tell her how you feel...but may I suggest toning it down a bit when you hit her with the truth?

[Rlyss]

Mate, don't say that. (EDIT: referring to Shade's post, not la petite moi )

If you've just met this girl recently, and she's a friend of a friend (which makes you a friend of a friend), then saying anything remotely like that is going to set alarm bells off in her head. It's romantic to you, but to have someone you've just met say things like that is going to scare anyone away.

Treat her like any other woman you'd like to date. Ask her out before you fall into that 'friend' zone, just ask her on a regular date. If she says yes then that's when you gradually let her know you're interested. Don't ask her to marry you, ask her to dinner.

[meepa]

To echo these other replies: Do NOT be this dramatic. You will come off as a psycho and scare her away. This is not a romance movie where girls go head over heels for that kind of speech. They will think you're a stalker. Play it cool and casually ask her to go out for a casual date... Do not pressure her!! If she declines, then you will have fallen for the "angel effect" in which you have turned her into this perfect person (which she isn't) in your imagination. If she accepts, then neato... But play it cool. No drama! NO DRAMA FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!

[fhqwhgads]

Here's how I'd do it. This especially fits if you all go out together as a group often.

Make plans for a day...even if it is something as simple as saying "let's go to lunch". Call her up and tell her the plans. Then, after she says yes, say something to the effect of: "Would it be horrible of us if we didn't invite the rest of the group? I think it would be a good opportunity to get to know each other a little better." If she says no, then just brush it off and say something like "You're right, it wouldn't feel right without the gang." It's not too akward, and you get a chance to feel out the situation.

Best of luck to ya...

[AfterBurn]

don't tell her your feelings and dont act like a wuss, just lean back and let her chase you so that way shes attracted to you..

[ratbastid]

Are you friends in your own right yet? Or still just acquaintances?

If you're friends--meaning you've done more than a couple things together just the two of you--then let 'er rip. Say exactly what you said to us.

If you're acquaintances, become friends. THEN let 'er rip.

[Edit] I'm aware that this advice conflicts with what most people have been saying. What can I say? I like starting relationships with honesty, rather than tricks and schemes.

[Jaca]

hah! save that speech for the wedding vows.

[maleficent]

You can't just tell someone that "I want to be your best friend" and all that other stuff - that position is earned... Earn it...

Actions speak much louder than words...

If you really want the love to end all loves with this woman, then show her you are a man who is worthy of the position.

Pay attention to her, listen to her, remember what she says and what she likes.

[Shades]

Oh man, no more posting while drunk.

No, I don't really plan to deliver such a speech (although I may save it on my hard drive somewhere, I mean, it does sound like it would make one hell of a wedding vow ). My actual current plan of action is to just hang out together, pretty much like ratbastid said. After all, it's not like I know her really well- she could be a devil worshiper of something- and it gives her time to know me. That way, I won't end up dating a psycho (did that once already), and she can make an informed decision when she rejects me

[Blonddie]

Make sure you flirt alot so that she knows your interested in being 'more' than friends.

" When she rejects me"


Bad attitude!!! Women love confidence!!