Threesome
 

Ok guys. Fess up: who's had a threesome? Has it been with a long term lover and a friend you brought in for one night or was it with two strangers? For the relationship threesomes: did it add to the relationship or totally ruin it?

Oh yea, this is an advice thread. My boyfriend and I have been talking about having one for a while now.

threesom = doom for a relationship 95% of the time.

hope u realize that you may be about to irreparably harm your relationship. then again that may be what u want to do.

I don't think it is doom at all.

The key is that you need to be a 10 out of 10 on the comunication side before even thinking about this. You need to understand all the ground rules and also what the other person is feeling about the situation way before diving in.

My wife and I are both attracted to women and have had a few experiences that I will let her describe to you if and when I ever get her on the TFP. Regardless, you need to be an open book in the rest of your life if this is going to work out.

We are not jealous of each other. We are both attractive and we give each other a lot of love and support so that jealously is out of the question. If we were less confident, that would be pretty tough to pull off.

As far as the ground rules are concerned, some are double standards that we had to agree on so that we can both feel comfortable with. Thinks like: she is the only one who can pick or bring home the women. (I can make helpful suggestions, but they may not matter at all). Also it is a MFF or MFFFFFFFFetc) but there are no other penises invited. Like I said. Some stuff is just not fair, but the important thing is that you talk about the potential situations and then stick to what you said.

And exactly how many couples out there do you think have a 10 out of 10 on the communication side???? Maybe, oh, 5%?

ha ha - ok troll you are right on that account. I do not know very many couples that have the comunication level that we have.

Well we do have good communication and we are both bi. We have also both agreed on a girl and a guy we would want to invite in and have talked to them both about it and they are both ok with it. Now the question is: will we go through with it?

You are right though, we need to set some ground rules I think. For some reason I don't think that he would like me giving the other guy a blow job. I think that if we invited a guy it would be more for him and a girl would be more for me since neither of us get that any other time.

What exactly else should be talked about for the "ground rules?"

Actually Emily, I wouldn't mind you giving a guy a blowjob. It would be fine by me, intresting to watch. I'd understand about the general Threesome code, and the fact that you might even pay more attention to him then me (Mainly because he's new and diffrent) wouldn't bother me.

never had prolly never will

Didn't have intercourse, but yea I got with 2 girls at once with some heavy heavy petting. Made our relationship a little different, but definitely not any weaker. I was young though, about 16-17

nope, because I know how possessive I am, and we both know that I wouldn't be cool with sharing him, and that I wouldn't be cool with BEING shared, either. Now that doesn't mean I don't LOOK, just that touching's off limits. And, maybe as our relaionship grows, that'll change, but I don't think so.

only advice has already been said. decide what teh rules are beforehand. Who can do what, what you're cool with, what you're not. if seeing your boyfriend fuck another woman is too much, then let that be a rule, and share that with whoever you bring in. Only time I've heard of these things working, this kinda stuff has been hashed out beforehand. good luck, hope things work out for y'all :)

different strokes for different folks, its a great fantasy, but for me it would have to stop there.

been there:done that:got a tshirt...

It didn't put a strain on the relationship at all. My g/f and I at the time had some great sex with another friend that joined us for several sessions.

It all depends on the people. Some people can handle it, some can't. Some just like the fantasy but don't want it in real life.

My only piece of advice is to NOT choose a friend, mutual or other wise.

You don't want to start a sexual relationship with someone you already like. That's how to start a new relationship while ruining your current one.

Good luck!

I've had 3, 2 with the same 2 girls. I wasn't going out with any of them, they were just friends who came over to my place. We had a few drinks and stuff happened. I don't think I could handle it, if it was someone I was in a relationship with. I'm not the sharing type. I think, I've changed from the time it happened to now. It happened about 5 years ago.

I don't think it is a good idea...Yes, It can be fun and exciting but I think ultimately it will put a strain on your relationship somehow. The trust issues seem to be affected and it just goes downhill from there. If you let them do it once, they will want it more and more.
In my situation, it led to trouble....But maybe if you talk about it and set some ground rules, it might work.

I second that one. Every time we have even fooled around with gals that we know, it has ended up with some complication. The best by far getting strangers, but it is far tougher. We are pretty much on a stranger diet at this point, but we have had a major dry spell because we are more picky about this sort of thing.

The nice thing is that when we do go out and look for someone to bring home, it gets us all worked up and so even if we are shot down or don't even find someone, we tear into each other afterwards.

Check out the book "The Ethical Slut". It will greatly help you.

I have participated in both flavors: FMF, and MFM (note the spelling - not MMF).

MFM was interesting. It was one of her fantasies, so it was great to see her get to fulfill it.
I had no problems with it, emotionally or otherwise.

FMF was my fantasy. It was the most exciting and intense sexual experience I've ever had.
Over 15 years later, it still provides inspiration. ;-)

Both of these experiences involved the woman who was my wife at the time.
BTW, she became an 'ex' for reasons completely unrelated to the threesome experiences.

I was involved in a few prior to getting married and the prospect of trying it with my wife has been a frequent topic of conversation for us. We haven't taken the plunge (no pun intended) and I doubt that we will, although there is one woman in particular that we discuss as a potential candidate.

For us, the fantasy aspect of it is appealing and talking about it during and away from sex makes for some very erotic fun. Whether or not you go through with it, you should both feel free to engage in role-play or erotic talk to enjoy some of the benefits without much of the risk.

One last thought, and I am not sure where the group stands.....my gut tells me that if it is not something you can do sober, you probably shouldn't do it. Perhaps the discussion about ground rules should include whether or not booze is OK.

I've never had a threesome, but I've seen em on tv.

I've had 2 and i was never really comfortable with either of the times i did it. I was too nervous and insecure to enjoy it as much as i should have.

I have had them, but it was with friends...NEVER with a SO invlolved.

I have had one with a girl that was a freind with benefits if you know what I mean and a friend of hers. That was fun.

In my opinion, let her choose the partner, you just instigate.

Above and beyond COMMUNICATE!!! I can't stress that enough. and lay ground rules that you and the SO feel comfortable with.

Ive been in a threesome but it was with a friend of mine and a girl we met a a club But it was so awsome.

Not something I want to see popping back up again in a few years....Edited. Hopefully it will stay dead.

I have, but not with a SO. I guess this could also answer the "Do fuck buddies exist?" question, sometimes they exist in multiple.

For me, it's only a fantasy. We tried a MFMF where the two F's switched. Afterword, my fiancee and I talked, and neither of us enjoyed it. We both agreed that we wouldn't have anything more then just the two of us, unless it was Aria Giovanni.
The two key things in this, don't bring in someone you know, and talk through the WHOLE thing. Afterwords, if you feel a certain way about something, get it out there, tell your SO. That one little feeling can evolve into feelings of mistrust or betrayal. I know I'd probably feel some feelings along the lines of why did she let me screw this other girl or something along those lines.

I disagree with this "no friends" advice. You can't use absolutes here. We have a friend that we wanted to try this with who is a good friend. For us, it would be harder to use a stranger, while this person is someone that we feel completely comfortable with and with whom we can treat the experience as an experiment that will or won't work, but will be fun or funny no matter what.

Sadly, circumstances have sacked that idea. I was really looking forward to it too.

Been in several MMF, FFM threesomes and have enjoyed all of them. Friends doesn't complicate it too much as long as there is some good communication and ground rules set.

Spontaneous threesomes can be a bit trickier. Though, they can also be quite fun. ;)

Definitely makes for an interesting experience that will lead to lots of fantasy inspiration later in life.

I lucked out once with two chicks who were roommates. It's more fun to remember than it was at the time. Too fucking much to deal with at once.

I have had threesomes with my g/f of many years.

Our biggest plus: Brutal honesty and openess, and that's how we've NEVER been jealous of eachother doing threesomes. It has never created any problems either. The funny thing was that when it was time to 'walk the walk', she was more about it than I was. As long as you both know it means NOTHING more than sexual things, you're golden.

BTW, this was NOT with a friend.

Haven't had. The closest incident was with one of her very good friends as the three of us were a bit drunk and said friend was clearly very horny - the three of us even watched some porn together - and I, being a complete moron, wasn't resisting to the friend's flirting. My girl wasn't in on the (low-level) action but we had been discussing having a threesome some days before and that's all that was on my mind.

A threesome with two beautiful girls is, by far, my pick for "best fantasy" but I'm thankful that it didn't advance on this occasion. Things were awkward enough afterwards even though we didn't progress underneath the clothes.

I did it more than once, always with friends involved. It ruined nothing. In fact, 3-somes were some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. Go for it!

I have participated in one. It was great, not a regular thing for me, but definitely nice as a special treat. I wasn't going out with the guy, so I think it actually helped me lighten up about sex and relationships. No real weirdness factor for me. The two girls, one guy arrangement is also my best fantasy. I'd advise lots of talking it over beforehand, but otherwise go have fun with it.

Ok, My girlfriend and I have decided that we are going to find another woman. We want to find a stranger. We can't decide on the best way to ask, and who should ask...me or her?

We will be doing some bar hoping this weekend. So please help me out.


Thanks

I've been in two. One was caused primarily by hormones and an enormous amount of alchohol between myself and 2 females (which was just fantastic and is an unforgettable experience) and the other time was a planned 3some between myself, my best friend, and an ex-gf of mine. It wasn't at all a pleasurable experience and i became extremely jealous and disgusted during the actual event and have never tried to engage in 3some or group sex experience ever since. Well, outside of having sex in the same room as another couple, but there was no switching partners. I don't think it's for me but if you go through with it, try to enjoy it as much as you can. No matter what the situation.

Saw the movie. It was awful. sk

I am married and she is not into that sort of stuff. As a fantasy, I would do a threesome, sounds fun.

My first sexual experiance was a threesome when I was 15 and I havn't had one since but I wouldn't recomed it to anyone in a serious relatioinship

I think it all comes down to how open your relationship is. I know a guy who had an "open marraige" and would fool around with several girls, and a few times he appearently brought some home with him. His wife was very much the same, but they both knew who they were going to spend the rest of their lives with and who they were going to be with when they went home. They've been married five or so years now and they seem to be closer than ever.

A realationship isn't, or shouldn't, be about sex alone. If you two really love each other's minds, bodies and souls, no threesome will ever change the way you feal about each other. Jealousy is a sympton of a relationship that needs help, imho. If either of you get jealous when the other is talking or even flirting with other people, than a threesome is not for you. If you wouldn't be upset about her making out with another guy at a party, than a threesome could only make you two closer.