Getting to Know You: Questions and Topics for your Date
 

First, "How Messy is Sex?" --now this. I'm full of surprises. :)

The girl that I’m seeing is naturally quiet and so am I, but I have a great sense of humor and can be bold and she really opens up around me. But with both of us being naturally shy, I thought I’d have a few questions and conversation starters prepared to get to know her better and keep the conversation going.

Any questions that help you get to know your date better? (BTW I've been dating her for a month now, yay.)

Here are a few that I wrote down:

• What were you like when you were a kid? (happy, playfull…)
• When was the first time that you had beer? What happened?
• What’s your history with/ what are your thoughts on God?
• If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
• What would your dream house be like?
• If you could change something about yourself, what would it be & why?
• Where’s Waldo?
• Do you dream often?
• Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
• What last made you laugh?
• Spontaneity or stability?
• Do you like kids?
• If you wrote a journal entry about our last date, what would it say?

you don't have to start a conversation with a question.

Tell a nice funny story that's easily related too, and sometimes you will get a nice "Oh I've been in that situation before" response.

Well, if it's a first date situation where you don't really know the other person, I'd leave God and kids out of it. God, kids and politics. Too many posibilities of things going drastically wrong.

Youre a strict Catholic. She doesn't believe in God.

You want 14 kids. She wants 0.

You worked for G.W. Bushes people. She thinks hes Satan.

Stay to non controversial subjects until you know eachother better.

I like this one. I think it should be a requirement of first dates to get anice write up afterwards ;)

Do you have any STD's?

How do you feel about Anal?

/sorry, I was on a roll

damn all those questions ... am I glad i'm not a girl :-)

it's like a freaking exam you're giving her

Yeah, it does sound kinda like an exam, or a police questioning :0

so are we gonna get it on tonight or what??

will you at least suck my cock?

Spit or swallow?

Sorry, had to throw that one in.

I wouldn't recommend actually having a set list of questions.

I'm currently in that "getting to know you stage" with someone right now, and since we live 14.5 hours apart, we've been able to do a lot of that kinda talking.

I think the key is to have open, honest conversations. Not so much an interrogation, or forced honesty, but just talking a lot. Don't be afraid to open up (but also, some things are best left until you know the person a little better).

It's also helpful, if you can deal with knowing about it, to discuss your respective pasts as far as sex/love/relationships go. Those elements are a huge part of what shapes us as a person. However, some people are uncomfortable talking about that at first, or hearing about their partners past, so it's important to be respectful of that.

As you become more serious with this girl, you'll start to learn new things about her...it's the natural progression of things. Just be open, because chances are, you'll find out somethings you weren't expecting (think Chasing Amy).

But, most of what you've discussed are important things that you should discuss with her. Just make sure the time is right, and make it more of a natural, give/take conversation, because most women (and men) don't feel comfortable sharing everything about themselves in an intense Q&A segment, especially if they feel that you're not being as open.

Good luck, and have fun.

Nah, I wasn't thinking of having a Barbra Walters style interview with her, just wanted to have a few good questions to slip into conversation.

Thanks for your help. TFP gives solid ideas and advice as always.

Just be yourself. If you're nervous, it's natural, and I think if you were to smile during a long silence and say: 'Sheesh I'm nervous; how about you?', I'm sure it would lighten things up a bit.

Yeah, definitely don't be afraid to admit if you're nervous or if something's on your mind!!

I finally got to see the girl I've been talking to for months this Saturday, and it went much, much better once we just were like "Okay, I'm a little nervous, but let's talk". It made us both a little more comfortable to know the other was in the same boat.

I don't know if this was asked in the last thread, but how old are you?

Hmm, well i personally am a huge fan of questions that are sort of out there to start conversations. Sometimes it's not that people don't want to talk, they just do'nt know where to start.

Yon bog standard Questioning is a _last resort_... One depth i've only ever plumbed once...

Never again, i solemnly hope.

You so stole my line!!!

"If I was to stick my finger in your ass while I was eating you out... would that freak you out or would you get off right there?"

"How often do you get tested for the HIV?"

"Did you just fart?"

"nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

and after you get all of her answers, you can write an ethnography about her.

Oh dear, too much anthropology still lingering in my head. Thank god school's finally over.

Bumping this up because it is a heavily searched topic.

Well, I have nothing to add to my last post... four years ago. Good to see that I've grown as a person.

I don't feel comfortable planning specific questions in advance of a date. By the time the opportunity to ask rolls around, we're most likely focused on a different topic, and that question in my head would come out awkwardly forced. Better to let the topics ebb and flow as they naturally will, in my opinion.

+1

It's a date, not an interview. Go somewhere where you'll be doing something, not necessarily bound by strict personal conversation. Bowling, go-carts, mini-golf, the boardwalk/fun pier, street fair, etc. the more exciting and somewhat physical the better. You can find out all of her demographic data later once you're good and attracted to each other.

fucking classic. I feel weird answering this hypothetically since the OP is so old...but I would probably just tell a "has this ever happened to you?" story that involves something a little self deprecating or embarrassing. shows your approachable and have the ability to laugh at your self.

First thing i would ask is "well you DO fuck on the first date, don't you?" lol..

Seriously, I would basically try to break the ice and get to know her. Nothing to personal, but stuff about her interests, values and the like.