Video games vs. your significant other
 

If you had the choice to play video games with your friends who you live with and see every day or talk to your SO who you see for 2 1/2 days every two weeks who would you give your time to?

I'm just curious to to see how everyone responds. I want to know if I am being crazy for feeling pushed aside or if I have a legitimate reason to feel disappointed.

video games man!

im gettin married in 4 mos, and then all friends/roomates go bye-bye

in fact, I see her almost every night for like 2-3 hrs. I have a really badass network at home and all my roomates and friends get together on Sun and play. She has a fit. Never spend time w/her, etc, etc.

So, in my case it is definitely video games

If I only got to see my SO 2-1/2 days every two weeks she probably wouldn't be my SO, but if so, I would definately give up video games to talk to her.

Personally, SO.

However^, paying attention to one thing for 2.5 days might get tiring for some people. Did your SO blow you off for the entire weekend*?

Footnotes:
^: I qualify my statements way way too often!
*: assumption. =)

No he doesn't blow me off at all when I visit him. It is always really great when we are together in person..it is the times when we are not together and we only have certain time we can talk when I get blown off. Not always, but more so recently.

Are you talking about talking on the phone? Cause guys don't always do the phone talking thing all that well.

I've been in a long distance relationship for quite some time now, it's finally ending here next month. (not the relationship, the long distance) And the phone's always been a pain in the ass for me. I talk to her everyday but sometimes it just doesn't work out that well. You can't always be in the same head space esspecially when you're not face to face.

Anyway, there's a thread on it here somewhere, there's one on long distance relationships too. Just do a search. Maybe I'm way off base on that though, in that case just ignore me. ;)

Ah yes, the follies of youth (my apologies and condolences if you are both adults). There was a time when video games were my world and hanging out with friends to play was the most I could hope for. Of course, I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. Now that I'm married, I find myself turning off the games to pay more attention to my wife.

You have the right to feel disappointed but you should also try to understand his point of view as well. Since he doesn't see you that often, he must spend most of his free time with those same friends you mention. Now it may seem crass to say things this way but the impact of blowing his friends off versus the impact of blowing you off is much greater due to the relative amounts of time spent with each group. To put it another way, blowing you off will affect the 2 1/2 days he spends with you but blowing his friends off affects the 11 1/2 days he spends with his friends. From that perspective it is easy to see why he does what he does.

play vg w/ your gf man!!!!

haha Ive tried that. Works for about 2 seconds then shes off looking at purses and stuff. Then she says buy me this, buy me that, ooh look at whats on ebay!

Better her watching tv in the other room than trying to find my credit card

Significant other most definitely.

Well, I can say that since my boyfriend is away at college for two weeks at a time, I would talk with him.

But as we found out, obsessing over each other and never having a social life really depressed us. I finally got out with two other girls and had a really good time.

I definately think that some guys just don't do the phone that well. You probably shouldn't worry about it a whole lot, especially if everything is still well when you are around. I'm sure it still sucks, but if he were choosing to play vg over being with you in person... now that's a little different.

If I only got to see my SO for 2.5 days a week, i'd spend some time with her, and some time playing video games, because quite frankly... im going to get caught lying if i say anything otherwise

i couldnt spend 2.5 days straight with someone without hopping on the computer and gabbin with my friends, or playing some video games

having done the video game thing every day for an entire month a couple years back... I can say I'd rather spend time with the SO. Video games are fun, but they are unproductive and repetitive... and after a few weeks it get's very tiring.

Seeing someone for a few days per fortnight not only keep things fresh and interesting but it also gives me some space to be myself (which includes playing video games ;)). Definitely the SO. :D

Well, my s.o. is die hard computer junkie, so after much much wasted effort, i think i finally came to terms that he couldn't go any length of time w/o computer access, REGARDLESS of what else he was doing with his time.

It's disheartening Jazz, i know hun, but it's something you work around, if you really care/love someone.

Get a GF who plays the games with you and your friends. My GF does and she is damn good at it to. :D

haha, somewhat relevant link to an article over at ign:

http://ps2.ign.com/articles/508/508371p1.html?fromint=1

HEY you are a sick man and I am too!
You would put video games before your girl but you wouldn't want to loose her becuase of that, would you?

I guess my boyfriend is lucky, because I love video games just as much as he does (if not more). In fact, I brought a lot of video game paraphernaila into this relationship. We might have to get a lawyer if we ever split to declare custody laws.

Yet Another Male Perspective:

Phones are hard.

When I talk to people, I am always thinking about their body language, tone of voice, eyes, what they are saying, tone of voice.... Meanwhile, when I am on the phone, all there is is their tone of voice and what they are saying.

This leads to distraction and to confusion: one's voice isn't enough to always communicate what one means, and it is hard to just focus on a voice. Which makes talking on the phone hard.

And then people expect me to pump out entertaining narrations of life events on the fly! =)

Does he always refuse to talk to you on the phone? (in which case, twap him upside the head) Or, is it "on Thursdays, we play Starcraft all night with the buds"? Or somewhere in between?

Games before Pussy!

What? I can't be the only one with such a stance! Shit.

MY SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF he takes video games over me then I am going to hit him in the head with the ps2 when hes not looking.

don't hurt the PS2... what did it do to you?? :(

SO all the way, i'd rather spend 10 min with an SO then 5 hours playing video games.

SO, i am sort of in the same situation. I live about 40 minutes from my SO and we both have college and work and night classes so we only get to see each other on the weekends. We do however spend a really long time on the phone everynight and we both love it. The times when I talk to her now are the times when i used to be playing videogames but its more than worth it.

And anyways, there havent been any good games that have come out for a long while. :)

If he's blowing you off during the times that he is supposed to get to see you then I'd be a little upset.

If he's just spending his time, during those 11 1/2 days that he doesn't get to see you, with his friends and not on the phone with you then I wouldn't worry.

I can understand your desire to talk to him during the time that you are apart. Have you spoken to him about it? Perhaps you could promise him that your phone calls will only take 10 mins or some specified period of time so that he doesn't have to worry about being stuck on the phone for a long time. Most guys I know don't enjoy sitting on the phone a long time just talking. When you are talking try asking him what he's been doing and not just talking about how things are with you and how you've been feeling emotionally. Everyone likes to talk about themselves much more than listen about someone else. By encouraging him to talk about himself you can make the calls more pleasant. Ask for only a certain number of calls a week and maybe specify a certain time when he or you would call so that he can make all the other plans that he wants to. This way you still get to connect while you are apart and he still has the freedom to do what he wants.

If it's on the time when you are together then give him some time away from you. Don't smother him. Just ask him how long he's going to take. Asking him to set the time for himself gives him the freedom to control how long you are apart on your weekends together and also gives him a concret time in his mind when he'll come back to be with you. I know myself when I get into a video game or on the computer that sometimes time will pass me by and before I know it I've spent hours. It helps if I know I'm only going to be doing it for a certain amount of time.

Don't freak out too much. Sometimes it's hard to peal yourself away from a video game so don't take it as a statement on your relationship status. Good Luck.

Where's the choice in that question?

I'd definatley go spend time with my SO. I dont see her nearly enough as it is and my friends will understand. There's plenty of other times I can hang with them and LAN it up.

ditto here, my guy loves his computer and for a long time I felt pushed aside, but I learned to work with it and found other stuff to do like read a book while he was on the computer and I also talked to him about how I felt. That helped a little, but things are working out now for the most part. And since I love the computer too, I can't say too much. but he spends at least twice as much time on it than I do. Meh, you'll find something that works. Our relationship used to be long distance until recently and there were times I would be talking to him on the phone and I could tell he wasn't listening since he was on the computer or playing vg!

Ok, so I visited him over the weekend and had a really great time. I learned how to play Grand Theft Auto which I found out was addicting cause I wanted to complete the missions!! You guys have been really helfpul and I appreciate all the comments. When I took into account him having to live with his friends and if he ditched them they probably wouldn't be too happy. So I'm learning to be content with my weekends.

dump him.
he seems like an asshole.

SO should always be more important than a video game and roomates you see everrrryday. if he can't learn to manage his time better he's not ready.

he can try to include you with his video games, but that might last a short while too.

anyway i'm a little biased because this happened to me and it wasn't a good situation, and it wasn't even long distance... don't let what i say stop you from anything you ultimately decide.

That's hilarious! Makes snes (well, rather than making PS2), too. I mean, he knows it's going to be a one-shot date with no pussy, versus a game he can play for years. No contest.

If they wanted to make it interesting, they would have given him a choice of women, rather than the choice they offered. Too bad they can't just outright offer dates with actual "escorts".

(edit) I'd've just liked to see "Jordan's" face when he made that selection.

Both there are 24 hours in a day

From a guys point of view...I dont play video games that much...but Id much rather be hanging out with my friends than sitting on the phone. I know relationships are supposed to have a nice happy "sharing feelings" things going on...but not everyday of mine is that eventful to talk for hours about it each night. Im in a long distance relationship and I could care less for the phone. What matters to me is getting to share time with her person to person. Sure theres moments where we open up and share important stuff on the phone...but for the most part...being on the phone with her doesnt do much for me at all. Whats important to me is the fact that she called, and said that she loved me. Not the hours and hours of sleep I lose because she wants me to stay on the phone with her till she falls asleep.

I refer to play with my joystick than play with my joystick.

I repectfully disagree with this statement. When you begin a relationship with someone, you shouldn't stop your regular life to accomodate this new person. If every time I started dating I stopped talking and going out with my friends, I would soon lose them. He's not an asshole for spending time with his friends, and i'm sure he won't love you any less because he does so.

Hmm this is a hard one, VG or SO, VG or SO, VG or SO. Well if you want to continue to have a SO you'd better spend some time with them, and if that doesn't work out you will always have the VG. (typical conversation in my house between my wife of 6 years and myself. Her, come to "bed" honey. Me, as soon as I finish this level, game, quest, ect. I'll be right there. Her.....zzzzzz. Me three hours later, hey you still awake? DAMN!!! Prolly the reason why my puter is called "the girlfriend" and my laptop "the moble girlfriend" ehh?) Anyway, so my point is don't let this happen to you because although as cool as the VG may be, you will be bored with it in a few days, weeks or months anyway and hopefully you haven't lost your SO as well.

Man's Greatest Dillemma VG vs. GF

I'm going with the video games. Sorry, but I've never felt worse about myself after playing a video game. But I have had a girl make me feel worse about myself. The end.

Video games, no doubt. I mean, that princess is not going to rescue her damn self. And if that's not enough, consider this true story:

This goes down about 2 years ago. My roommate was playing Final Fantasy 2 on his girlfriend's Super Nintendo at her place. She's naked in bed, waiting for him. He just needs to get to that next save point. She falls asleep at about midnight. At 2 AM, he finally saves, goes over to the bed, barely gives her warning, fucks the bejeezus out of her, then goes to sleep.

That's how it's done, man.

Most DEFINATELY my significant other.

wtf, nice rape story.