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-   -   Do you regret premarital sex? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/51584-do-you-regret-premarital-sex.html)

89transam 04-06-2004 04:37 PM

Do you regret premarital sex?
 
This is a question for those who have had premarital sex. Do you regret it? Why or Why not? That is, do you wish you had waited till marrage? Those who are married and had premarital sex, how about you?

I was reading the FMK thread and just thought id ask. No regrets here.

Aletheia 04-06-2004 04:50 PM

Nope. None.

insidious_machinae 04-06-2004 04:52 PM

This message has been deleted.

hunnychile 04-06-2004 05:13 PM

Absolutely No Regrets. It was wonderful (most of the time*) and I made some truly great friends and married the last one I made love with...

When it wasn't wonderful, it was at least an interesting experiment in sociology, Gestalt and altered states.

Boo 04-06-2004 05:32 PM

Never buy a car without test driving it.

Sexual compatability is very important to a marriage.

All the previous sex was just good practice.

doncalypso 04-06-2004 05:38 PM

I don't regret having premarital sex.... but I do regret not having been a bit more patient.

I did some foolish things back in the days, and I wish I'd been a bit wiser and more selective of my past sexual partners.

31Friction 04-06-2004 06:26 PM

no. I've regeretted having sex twice. once because of the person, the other time the person was a friend but it was done at the wrong time. but were induced by alcohol but still at my own fault. alcohol is never an excuse for a sexual mistake.

but as a whole, I definately do not regret having premarital sex.

gar1976 04-06-2004 06:47 PM

I regret not having more of it.

raeanna74 04-06-2004 06:54 PM

NO.

I ended up marrying the man I had sex with the first time.

I do regret my parents and religion raising me to believe that it was a terrible sin to have sex outside of marriage at all and that the only way to right that sin at all was to actually marry your sex partner. My mom says she never said that to me but every time we heard about someone getting pregnant before they got married or even just jumping in bed before marriage my parents would say things like "I sure hope they get married. Then everything will be, ok." As if marrying the person would fix it.

Hubby and I both were raised to believe that and we married each other not out of love but out of a sense of obligation. Thinking we had to FIX this for ourselves and each other. It was a rough first year or two while we actually resented being married, didn't feel love toward each other, and worked through our emotions and religious preconceptions.

I don't regret having sex before marriage. Especially with dei37. I also don't regret having married him. I have grown to love him more than I though possible.

I ONLY regret having felt that sex before marriage made me obligated to marry someone that I didn't really love.

KnifeMissile 04-06-2004 07:01 PM

If it weren't for premarital sex, I would still be a virgin...

ironchef82 04-06-2004 07:43 PM

No regrets. Even though we're both a couple of years away from marriage, my girlfriend and I lost our virginities to each other, and we both knew at the time that we were so in love with each other that we knew we were in the relationship for the long haul. This was a little over 2 years into the relationship. I'm happy to say that we're still together.

So even though technically it's premarital, I think how much I care for her and love her count for something.

89transam 04-06-2004 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
If it weren't for premarital sex, I would still be a virgin...
lol, nice . That could be in a signature for sure.

JStrider 04-06-2004 08:21 PM

so far i havnt regretted it at all...

Bobaphat 04-06-2004 08:24 PM

no, its safe to say I regret not having more premarital sex

Funnel 04-06-2004 09:24 PM

Negatory

i8one2 04-06-2004 10:24 PM

Non what so ever, as a manner of fact, I usually have had sex with the first three meetings on the person I was interested in. It gets the BS sexual tensions out of the way and actually let us both explore the possibilities of more meaningful and fully enjoyable times( long term potential stuff, and not having to worry if or when I/we getting some..

Nancy 04-06-2004 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Boo
Never buy a car without test driving it.

Sexual compatability is very important to a marriage.

All the previous sex was just good practice.

my thought exactly!

MrFlux 04-07-2004 12:42 AM

Nope, don't regret it one bit. My poll vote does not reflect this however, I clicked yes coz I was distracted -_-

Wombat 04-07-2004 03:25 AM

Nope.

qtpye4u84 04-07-2004 03:43 AM

I don't regret having premarital sex, because I guess I just got lucky and found the right guy that did not leave me after we had sex so I am glad i waited untill i found the right guy so now we are still together.
Weird thing is that I had a lot of boy friends and I never had sex with them but when this one came a long some thing just made me want to do it with him I dont know why weird though.

Averett 04-07-2004 04:21 AM

No regrets here.

I waited until I was ready with my first boyfriend (I say that like there has been another :rolleyes:) and I'm glad for that.

I do regret the second person though... It was just a foolish mistake on my part, but it was part of the process of healing a broken heart. Well, it's not even a matter of regret. I know now that I shouldn't have, but I did and that's a part of me now.

Redlemon 04-07-2004 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
If it weren't for premarital sex, I would still be a virgin...
Which leads to the question... if you never get married, is it still considered premarital sex?

telekinetic 04-07-2004 04:29 AM

:orly:

SabrinaFair 04-07-2004 04:45 AM

I hate the term "premarital" sex, although its the only one in our lexicon that describes sex before marriage. I don't know, it seems to imply that you *should* marry that person. But it's the only word I know to describe it.

I have no regrets. There's no guarantee as to when and even if I'll be married, so I'm not going to cling to that and wait to get some.

telekinetic 04-07-2004 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SabrinaFair
I hate the term "premarital" sex, although its the only one in our lexicon that describes sex before marriage.
Doesn't fornication mean sex between unmarried people?

ratbastid 04-07-2004 04:54 AM

I don't at all regret the sex I had with lurkette before we were married. Loved every minute of it, in fact.

I do regret the sex I had with the one girl I did before lurkette. For want of two orgasms, I was unable to give my virginity to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

absorbentishe 04-07-2004 05:07 AM

No regrets here. Just wish it would have been better. As good as you think you are, it's not that good until both parties are really into it. I was into it, but my wife wasn't(of course we're talking about before the marriage). Now that we've been married for a while, our sex has only gotten better.

Redlemon 04-07-2004 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ratbastid
I do regret the sex I had with the one girl I did before lurkette. For want of two orgasms, I was unable to give my virginity to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Interesting. I had the complete opposite reaction to the same situation; I was glad to have "gotten it over with", so I didn't rush into intercourse once I met the "right" woman.

Charlatan 04-07-2004 06:09 AM

In general I have no regrets about any of the sex I've had prior to getting married.

There are a few women specifically that I wish I'd stopped dating a bit earlier than I did but that is a whole other issue...

skysooner 04-07-2004 06:31 AM

There are some pluses and minuses to having premarital sex. I'm speaking as one that had lots of experience (when my wife was a virgin on our wedding night). The big plus was that we both weren't fumbling around on our wedding night. The minus was that she had a bad experience the first night (when her hymen busted she was bleeding profusely-apparently happens in a small percentage of cases), and we ended up at the emergency room. The minus of this was that she had an immediate problem with sex and since I had so much experience I wasn't as laid back about the "quickness" it took her to get to enjoy sex (try 6 to 8 months). However if I hadn't have been experienced enough to help her get to that point I'm not sure how it would have worked out.

Premarital sex also told me that sex is sex and that there is really not that much difference between people. A person who is "bad" at sex can be taught to be good. Some people are just better at it in general just due to mindset, but the difference in great and mind-blowing is very subtle. I also suspect that the mind-blowing sex you have with a stranger rapidly diminishes as mind-blowing as you get used to it (although I was never in a longer-term relationship with a girl who was very good).

Prince 04-07-2004 07:30 AM

Ha. No way, man. Waiting until you're married is a foolish notion, albeit romantic. But that's just me.

erion 04-07-2004 11:45 AM

My first girlfriend insisted on not having sex until she got married. It's not why we're no longer dating, but apparently she's still waiting, according to the last High School alumni newsletter I got. :)

Anyway, I don't regret any of the sex I've had. MY first partner and I did a lot of different things, and I learned a lot with her about what did and did not turn me on, even though the relationship was sketchy at best. Two partners later the woman ended up being my wife of 5 years (and counting ;) ).

rmarshall 04-07-2004 11:47 AM

Nope. There's some marital sex that I regret. But that's another story.

04-07-2004 12:03 PM

No, because if I regretted it, I would be regretting my son.
Plus it was with the man I love and whom I married. My soul mate.

skier 04-07-2004 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Prince
Ha. No way, man. Waiting until you're married is a foolish notion, albeit romantic. But that's just me.
:) romance is foolish anyway, so you got your bases covered.

fallenangel 04-07-2004 12:11 PM

No, not at all, we were both ready for it. It was out of love, not some drunken mistake in the back of my pickup like my best friend however! ;)

tim2shady 04-07-2004 12:18 PM

no regrets about having sex before marriage, just not necessarily proud of ALL my encounters, but most.

kutulu 04-07-2004 12:39 PM

The only thing I regret about premarital sex is not getting more of it when I could have.

Ace_O_Spades 04-07-2004 12:45 PM

most definitely not

denim 04-07-2004 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by doncalypso
I don't regret having premarital sex.... but I do regret not having been a bit more patient.
That says it for me, too. If I'd been more patient, I might have married one of them. "Might have been" is not a fun game.


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