Strange Problem

[mayaj]

This is awkward for me but I guess I should just come out with it. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have a great relationship and a pretty good sex life except for one bizzare problem. After we have sex I bleed. After being baffled about it for months (and visits to several doctors that all said I was normal) I've figured out that he has thick, stray hairs on his penis that abrade me during intercourse. (It took me a while to figure out that this was the problem because his penis looks pretty normal) I'm on birth control, we're exclusive and he can't come with a condom on. Although our sex life isn't bad, it's inconvenient for me to be in pain after we have sex and it also means that we can only do it once a week. It also means that sometimes I feel afraid or reluctant to do it. It's not an enormous problem but it's taking its toll. I'm at a loss as to what we can do. Waxing? I'm positive that he wouldn't want to see a "beautician" about this. I could wax him I guess, but I'm worried about hurting him or causing ingrown hairs. The same goes for plucking, I mean, the pain will probably be excruciating for him. I don't think that a depilatory cream will do the trick. I have never heard of anything like this before. The friends that I actually have told have never heard of such a thing and have no idea as to how to advise me.

Any ideas?

[rsl12]

ouch! I'm guessing you already tried lubricating the whole area? A big dollop of vaseline or KY on your maidenhair?

The only other thing I can think of is using a moisturising conditioner!

[MageB420666]

The shaft of the penis isn't as sensitive as the head. I've occasionally plucked hairs just for the hell of it, and it doesn't hurt much at all, if any(depends on the hair). So plucking or waxing may not be quite the horrible ordeal you imagine it to be.

He could shave the area, but he would have to do it frequently to prevent stubble. Hopefully he would be willing to do so to prevent you being in pain.

And as rsl12 said, if you haven't tried lubes, use them. If KY or vaseline is too thick, try Astroglide, its thinner, but still does a good job.

[Rodney]

Have him shave once and see how it goes. See how quickly the stubble becomes a problem, if it does, to deterime how often he has to do this. If he only has to shave every couple of weeks or so, it's not much to ask. Or _you_ could do it for him... with lots of lubricant or moisturizer... and make it a very interesting and potentially arousing ritual.

[ratbastid]

If it means he's going to get a lot more sex (or no longer have to worry about hurting you), he'll probably be more than happy to shave.

[Ustwo]

They have this thing called the saftey razor.

Use it and the problem is solved.

[trache]

My girlfriend and I had this problem before. I used to shave my groin bare for a long time, but she discovered that it hurt like hell because of the hair that grows back just above the penis. We like doggy-style, so during the in-stroke the stubble would hurt her butt! We changed it up so I only shave the penis down to my body (and the scrotum for some lovin' down there, too!).

After a day or two it gets mildly uncomfortable for me, but I don't sit in my chair or walk around scratching obscenely all day. I've gotten used to it. I usually use handsoap or sometimes shaving cream, but I don't use moisturizer - I don't really know why either.

I guess I'm lucky I haven't had any in-grown hairs either. Not that doctors haven't seen that stuff or haven't heard it all - you shouldn't be embarrased, they are there to help you.

I just shave every couple days to a week, depending on my preference, hair grows back after all. I try to shave as much of the penis as possible, to watch out for stubble. I would NOT recommend him having a brazilian wax or anything (I don't know how much they take off)... the slight itch is all the discomfort I personally need thank you!

[bloodychill]

He's just going to have to bite the bullet and start shaving it.

[mayaj]

Thanks for the honest feedback! We have tried lube, in fact we use it quite a bit but it makes very little difference (besides aiding in the "pneumatics" of it all I still bleed). In regards to shaving, we haven't tried it but I'm afraid that the stubble would be even more painful. (could that mean waiting for it to grow back until we can have sex?) We've discovered that doing it from behind works the best but I still don't have all that much "endurance" and he's a bit of a marathon runner.

[Daniel_]

Waxing.

Or ultra thin non-latex condoms.

[motdakasha]

Originally Posted by mayaj

I don't think that a depilatory cream will do the trick.

All bottles of depilatory creams specifically state not to use it on membranous skin surfaces (i.e. genitals, nipples, etc.).

Waxing is the most likely not to cause ingrown hairs and can be done within a reasonable amount of time. It could be painful, messy, or have similar reactions as shaving (see below) if done incorrectly.

Plucking is time consuming and potentially painful depending on the direction from which they are plucked. If the root of the hair doesn't get plucked out, this could result in an ingrown hair.

Shaving can cause red bumps (psuedofolliculitis pubis), esp. with curly hair or persons of African ethnicity, ingrown hairs, and in some cases a rash (Staphylococcus aureus), but it's the most convenient and fastest to do. Shaving with a brand new clean sharp blade; warming the blade before use with warm or hot water; presoaking hairs in warm water for at least 20 minutes before shaving; shaving with the grain; and using a noncomedogenic lotion with vitamin E, aloe vera, or similar will help reduce the possibility of red itchies and bumps. (I use Nivea with Vitamin E from Costco after shaving anything.)

[mayaj]

Hmmmm . . . thanks for the advice. Not sure yet what I'll do but at least I have a little more insight now.

[ruggerp11]

I use nair lol