friend won't chill out on the "coming on"
 

one of my very good friends gf's left him maybe 3 days ago for a woman. for some reason, he decides that he needs to fuck me (another male) in the same room that his gf broke the news to him. i was a little disturbed by this, but when he wouldn't take no for an answer i decided to leave. he literally begged me to stay, crying, upset, my chick left me for a chick, the whole deal. admittedly, i have been involved with other males in the past, and i am drunk, but what the hell makes this guy think engaging in same-sex intercourse will make his girlfriend's same-sex decision any less painful? i finally told him i had to go home and get some sleep, but i was so disturbed that i'm still up drinking (bad move for the escape, i know). what would make someone do something like that? i'm confused as hell as to the motivation, and i'm wondering what i can say to him the next time i see him. this is really upsetting to me, i never expected this, especially from this particular friend. any suggestions?

I think I'd be finding a new room mate! Sounds a bit over the top on his part to me. Good luck. I wish you the best.

I'd say just give it a little time, and the next time you see each other just both pretend it never happened... this is the way I would deal anyway

I got dumped by a girl for a girl.... no homosexual tendancies for me....
that guy needs help.. find him a shrink
SERIOUSLY

I have no idea what his motives might have been, but I'm glad you walked away. Coercion isn't cool.

I can't imagine what would motivate him unless he already had an attraction to you to begin with and decided to supress his pain by occupying his mind with a "new" experience. Just a thought.
You are in a tough position. Glad you left and went home. Frankly, I would have a very direct convesation with him on exactly how you feel about his advances and make it clear where you stand. But that is simply what I would do.
Good luck with this and sorry you got blindsided by someone you thought you knew.

i think you did good in walking away. What he was suggesting would more than likely end up being something he would greatly regret later down the road. You listened to your gut and that was a good decision, IMO.

that's whay i told him, illesturban, it would do him more harm than good in the long run. he's tearing himself apart over this, and upon sober analysis of the situation, my best drinking buddy was trying to use alcohol to coerce me into something he knew i didn't want to do. when i quit drinking as i realized what was happening, he made several comments about my stopping, the most direct of which was "you aren't done drinking yet". haven't talked to him since around 830 this morning, guess i'll see him around campus some time tomorrow. i don't think pretending the situation hadn't occured will help him, and it definitely won't ease my mind. i'm going to try to discuss this with him in a calm, direct manner and hope that he doesn't flip his shit again.

good luck!

he sounds pretty confused already... what a strange way of dealing with such the situation, maybe he's had these urges for a while :confused: good luck talkin to him, let us know how it went :)

it sounds like he's dealing with the pain by imprinting the anguish onto you.
his g/f left him for another woman, and now he wants to get it on with you. that would indicate somewhat that he could be trying to get back at his g/f by shagging you, showing her 'i don't care, i'm happy with guys, i didn't need you' type thing.
to be honest, i'd say just leave him alone for a few days, let him get his head straight, losing a g/f like that isn't gona help any man keep sane.
when you do go back, i'd say just play it cool, don't pull up the subject, and generally try to move on.

i've known guys and gals do all kinds of weird things to try and justify their feelings and make the pain go away, to try and stave off the reality, but eventually when it does hit, things seem to settle down, and you just get drunk and while away the anguish in strip clubs and pot.

hes confused, or at leas he must be confused thats some weird requeste he made to ya

That is the strangest thing I have ever heard. You would think that no matter what he would have wanted to go out and fuck another girl to get back at his X. Where the homoerotic situation came from is beyond me. Kind of sexy in a fucked up way though.

The request is honestly not all that strange -- I could think of a psychological justification for it. However, the fact that he tried to use alcohol to get you into a state where you couldn't resist is horrible. You should seriously re-evaluate your friendship with this guy -- not because he wanted to fuck you -- but because he would have [essentially] raped you while you were drunk in order to satisfy himself.

uh... shit man.. i would be packing my bags.. dont go to sleep in the same room with him cause you may wake up with a sore ass....

But seriously, Unless you are slightly into the "homosexual fornicating" i would be STRAIGHT up with him and tell him whats up... and if he continues, then really get the hell out of that place

College years are frequently the years where people who are really homosexual finally realize that they can't fake being hetero, or don't have to. This is an extremely difficult time for your friend, if this is what is going on. The problem is, if he has just now, finally realized that he is gay, then it sounds like he doesn't know how to go about it in an acceptable manner.

Try not to be freaked out or hostile. Try to explain to him that you are not "into" that. That you are not gay. Maybe tell him that if he feels like doing homosexual things that that is cool and all, but that that is not your thing. He's going through a tough time. He needs to find people like himself. Maybe there is a gay social club or organization that you can put him in touch with. Those folks will have all gone through that already and might really be able to help him out. If you are true friends then your friendship can survive this. There is the possiblilty that he could have late onset manic-depression or scizophrenia, or something related. This is not a high probability, but these things can exhibit themselves between 18 - 19 yrs. Happened to my brother. If he seems more generally weird and unstable, and not just a difficult sexual awakening, then try to get him checked out. They have incredible drugs for these things now - much better than 25 yrs. ago when they had nothing for my bro.

i've spoken to him since then, he's actually sitting about 3 feet away from me playing acoustic right now. drunk again, so this may not make much sense, but we've worked shit out. he was just trippin one night, and shit's cool now

just tell him to invest in a video camera

Please let him know that coercion is not okay, ever. Not with a man, not with a woman, not with anyone, and being drunk is not an excuse.

he understands the coercion issue, like i said i've discussed things with him. he's not even really attracted to me (he SAYS) but he was just trying to find some source of solace when there was no other available but lust

I would be afriad he'd go all "American Beauty" on your ass. This guy sound disturbed

that sounds like whats really going on, he should now (by the sounds of your other posts) be starting to admit to himself she's gone, and dealing with the pain, instead of trying to push it to one side like he was before.
just treat him the standard way as you do any guy after a break up, lots of strip clubs, drinking, and random singing of jerusulem.

I'm glad you two have worked it out. It was totally a revenge idea. "You're going to fuck a woman? FINE! I'll fuck a guy! See how THAT feels, bitch!"

Of course, if she's decided that she enjoys the sexual company of women, she won't particularly care who he, a man, sleeps with.

It was a dumb thought on his part, but when people get hurt they think dumb things. Trying to get you drunk to go along is more than dumb, though: it's unacceptable. He needs to cut that shit out of his life, permanently.

wtf? wow that's some logic.

Daaang thats nuts. Is there any possibilities that, he could have done that, being drunk, and not have homosexual feelings deep down. I know people makes mistakes, but damn, what a odd one that was. Hope everthing is cool and normal again....

Poor you for having to deal with this kind of situation and poor him for not knowing how to deal with his own feelings. Pity, very sorry.

That is such a strange way to deal with his feeling of his breakup. Sux you had to be put in that position.