How to become friends with girls? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jesus Pimp · 02-02-2004, 09:14 PM

All my life I've had very few female friends. The females friends I had were either married or my girlfriends. So this is probably a silly question but how do I go about being friends with girls without being attracted to them or think of them sexually?

wilbjammin · 02-02-2004, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
All my life I've had very few female friends. The females friends I had were either married or my girlfriends. So this is probably a silly question but how do I go about being friends with girls without being attracted to them or think of them sexually?

Learn how to be "the guy"... be the friend that listens to them talk about their relationship woes. Give them advice. Listen. Listen. Go shopping with them. Do things that reek of "safe" and "not interested".

Stare At The Sun · 02-02-2004, 09:26 PM

Yeah, offer advice, listen to them, just "safe" stuff. And hang out etc. Just treat 'em as "one of the guys" but with a little more respect, and dignity.

absence_of_color · 02-02-2004, 09:31 PM

HAHAHA

Are you for real? <-<

Id say being friends with girls that you dont want to be attracted to or think of sexually, would be to find a girl that you arent attracted to and keep your mind out of the gutter.

Other than that, I am not sure what you are asking?

aintyoboyfriend · 02-02-2004, 10:00 PM

just don't try to sleep with them.

seriously, not at all.

Then, and only then are you a girls friend.

Rodney · 02-02-2004, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
All my life I've had very few female friends. The females friends I had were either married or my girlfriends. So this is probably a silly question but how do I go about being friends with girls without being attracted to them or think of them sexually?

Well, the easy way is to wait 20 years until your hormones abate. Then you won't think about sex every time you look at a woman -- just every third or fourth time you look at her, but that really cuts down the urgency. I've gone back to college in my late '40s, and believe me I am surrounded by good-looking young women who think I'm fairly cool and have it all together and like talking to me -- because now it's a lot easier to see them as people, instead of a set of sexual attributes.

I can give you all kinds of advice about how to make friends with women, but you're really asking how to turn down your sex drive. There I can't help you, except to say maybe get a regular girlfriend who gives you so much sex you just don't care that much when you look at other women. Or go to the gym and work yourself into the ground.

Confederate · 02-02-2004, 10:20 PM

Just be the big brother, keep an eye out for them and be there when they need you, it's the best and easiest way to make friends with girls

Plan9Senior · 02-02-2004, 10:33 PM

Oddest post ever...

*edit* Nevermind, the "When is it ok for me to pee on her" post tops it

sillygirl · 02-02-2004, 11:04 PM

Just be friends with them like you would anyone else. A girl usually can sense when a guy's interested. So, unless you are capable of NOT being interested, you're not gonna just be friends.

emphant · 02-02-2004, 11:35 PM

This a little backwards from what we normally get.

If you want friends you aren't sexually attracted to...hang out with ugly chicks. Otherwise there is nothing you can do.

high_way · 02-03-2004, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by absence_of_color
HAHAHA

Are you for real? <-<

Id say being friends with girls that you dont want to be attracted to or think of sexually, would be to find a girl that you arent attracted to and keep your mind out of the gutter.

Other than that, I am not sure what you are asking?

i wouldnt agree with that. most of my group of friends are chicks, 6 chicks too 3 guys, and most of the chicks i would like to sleep with or find sexually appealing (i have other chick friends who are not part of my main group of friends who i also see on a semi-regular basis.

i cant say for sure how to become friends with chicks (i dont remember how i did it) but pretty much just treat them like normal ie: like your other friends. maybe not be as much of a guy (ie farting, burping, scratching your balls etc that you would do around your guy mates) until you become better friends with them.

also, make them feel comfortable. once they are comfortable in your presence they will open up and talk to you more.

its worked for me.

Yalaynia · 02-03-2004, 12:46 AM

I m a female and most of my friends were males
I dont know how it happened it just did. I guess it could have had something to do with growing in a small neighbourhood I was the only female with 4 guys, and growing up it wasnt barbie dolls and dress up. It was hotwheels cars and tonka trucks. As I got older I just generally hung out with more guys because they never betrayed me where as most of the females that I had that I thought were friends backstabbed me.
As far as becoming friends with more females the only idea that pops into my head is go to a beauty salon or a gay/lesbian bar lol just kidding.
Seriously though it is difficult to meet females and just hang with them. A lot of females in bars assume that as soon as a guy walks up to them they are going to try and pick them up using some old line. This may seem kinda stupid but have you tried any personal ads in papers or any of those phone numbers that they have to meet people in general?

Carly · 02-03-2004, 03:36 AM

I'm sorry Jesus Pimp, but it's just not the way we're built. You're a man, and as a man you intrinsicly yearn to sleep with every attractive female you meet (or slightly attractive, depending on your level of sobriety/time since last trek). You want a female friend you don't want to sleep with, then you'll have to find some you are in no way physically attracted to.

What you may be aiming for however, are female friends that you want to sleep with, but are prepared to hold friendship tighter than your desire to sleep with them. This will be tricky, but here's a start:

a) Attention. We want attention. Be funny, be spontaneous, but above all, be attentive.

b) Do not show your inner desire to sleep with her. This will be hard, but the rewards are great. Unfortunately for you, this will probably result in her falling for you, or her moving on to someone else who does want to be with her.

It's a tricky thing, the plutonic relationship, and more a function of chance than anything else i suspect. Here's a tip for free: if you have a girlfriend, don't bother going after female friends... I don't want competition, and neither will she.

Happy hunting

Strange Famous · 02-03-2004, 03:53 AM

Just be someone she can talk to, and someone she can hang with, without the pressure of sex or relationships involved. Be there to listen to someone when they need it, hang out together, tell her jokes, I dont know,,, just the way you would make friends with anyone?

Failing that, maybe you could pretend to be gay? I think girls like to be friends with gay men?

skysooner · 02-03-2004, 08:36 AM

Yeah, I have lots of female friends, and I still want to sleep with most of them. It is just something about how men are wired. However, the desire to sleep with other women is more than overrode by my love for my wife. I have female friends to just get a female perspective on things and just to talk. Most guys just don't achieve a level of emotional intimacy that is enough for me at times. I have women friends I talk to about weight loss, relationships, etc. that can really offer me good perspectives. Just learn to listen and not try and fix their problems. Women like someone who commiserates with them and doesn't necessarily try to fix them or their problems.

Mephex · 02-06-2004, 08:49 AM

I think this is a great post. As I often wonder the same thing. It seems, that the only time I've had female friends that aren't on my radar, is when I was completely secure with myself.

I may be wrong, but it's the only thing that I have been able to come up with in the past few years. When I'm single, or when I'm not happy in my current relationship, I look to women to satisfy my needs, as well as to make me feel better about myself.

That may sound terrible to some, but it's fact. The psychological effects of having sex are huge.

The only women who I am purely friends with, have more male tendancies, and are probably lesbians anyway.

02-02-2004, 09:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	How to become friends with girls? All my life I've had very few female friends. The females friends I had were either married or my girlfriends. So this is probably a silly question but how do I go about being friends with girls without being attracted to them or think of them sexually? __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

02-02-2004, 09:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
absence_of_color Insane Location: in a golden garden of grey	HAHAHA Are you for real? <-< Id say being friends with girls that you dont want to be attracted to or think of sexually, would be to find a girl that you arent attracted to and keep your mind out of the gutter. Other than that, I am not sure what you are asking? __________________ ...absent of everything.

02-02-2004, 11:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Just be friends with them like you would anyone else. A girl usually can sense when a guy's interested. So, unless you are capable of NOT being interested, you're not gonna just be friends. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

02-03-2004, 12:46 AM	#12 (permalink)
Yalaynia Insane Location: here but I wish I lived there	I m a female and most of my friends were males I dont know how it happened it just did. I guess it could have had something to do with growing in a small neighbourhood I was the only female with 4 guys, and growing up it wasnt barbie dolls and dress up. It was hotwheels cars and tonka trucks. As I got older I just generally hung out with more guys because they never betrayed me where as most of the females that I had that I thought were friends backstabbed me. As far as becoming friends with more females the only idea that pops into my head is go to a beauty salon or a gay/lesbian bar lol just kidding. Seriously though it is difficult to meet females and just hang with them. A lot of females in bars assume that as soon as a guy walks up to them they are going to try and pick them up using some old line. This may seem kinda stupid but have you tried any personal ads in papers or any of those phone numbers that they have to meet people in general? __________________ I couldnt think of anything to put here , but I guess anything would do

02-03-2004, 03:53 AM	#14 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Just be someone she can talk to, and someone she can hang with, without the pressure of sex or relationships involved. Be there to listen to someone when they need it, hang out together, tell her jokes, I dont know,,, just the way you would make friends with anyone? Failing that, maybe you could pretend to be gay? I think girls like to be friends with gay men? __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

02-02-2004, 09:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Yeah, offer advice, listen to them, just "safe" stuff. And hang out etc. Just treat 'em as "one of the guys" but with a little more respect, and dignity.

02-02-2004, 10:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	just don't try to sleep with them. seriously, not at all. Then, and only then are you a girls friend.

02-02-2004, 10:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
Confederate Death Leprechaun Location: College Station, TX	Just be the big brother, keep an eye out for them and be there when they need you, it's the best and easiest way to make friends with girls

02-02-2004, 10:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
Plan9Senior Banned Location: Orange County, California	Oddest post ever... edit Nevermind, the "When is it ok for me to pee on her" post tops it

02-02-2004, 11:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
emphant Crazy Location: Meeshagain	This a little backwards from what we normally get. If you want friends you aren't sexually attracted to...hang out with ugly chicks. Otherwise there is nothing you can do.

02-03-2004, 03:36 AM	#13 (permalink)
Carly Upright Location: Sydney	I'm sorry Jesus Pimp, but it's just not the way we're built. You're a man, and as a man you intrinsicly yearn to sleep with every attractive female you meet (or slightly attractive, depending on your level of sobriety/time since last trek). You want a female friend you don't want to sleep with, then you'll have to find some you are in no way physically attracted to. What you may be aiming for however, are female friends that you want to sleep with, but are prepared to hold friendship tighter than your desire to sleep with them. This will be tricky, but here's a start: a) Attention. We want attention. Be funny, be spontaneous, but above all, be attentive. b) Do not show your inner desire to sleep with her. This will be hard, but the rewards are great. Unfortunately for you, this will probably result in her falling for you, or her moving on to someone else who does want to be with her. It's a tricky thing, the plutonic relationship, and more a function of chance than anything else i suspect. Here's a tip for free: if you have a girlfriend, don't bother going after female friends... I don't want competition, and neither will she. Happy hunting

02-03-2004, 08:36 AM	#15 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Yeah, I have lots of female friends, and I still want to sleep with most of them. It is just something about how men are wired. However, the desire to sleep with other women is more than overrode by my love for my wife. I have female friends to just get a female perspective on things and just to talk. Most guys just don't achieve a level of emotional intimacy that is enough for me at times. I have women friends I talk to about weight loss, relationships, etc. that can really offer me good perspectives. Just learn to listen and not try and fix their problems. Women like someone who commiserates with them and doesn't necessarily try to fix them or their problems.

02-06-2004, 08:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mephex Psycho	I think this is a great post. As I often wonder the same thing. It seems, that the only time I've had female friends that aren't on my radar, is when I was completely secure with myself. I may be wrong, but it's the only thing that I have been able to come up with in the past few years. When I'm single, or when I'm not happy in my current relationship, I look to women to satisfy my needs, as well as to make me feel better about myself. That may sound terrible to some, but it's fact. The psychological effects of having sex are huge. The only women who I am purely friends with, have more male tendancies, and are probably lesbians anyway.