Drunken Sex/The Other Guy
 

Okay so in a drunken stooper I slept with a very nice girl last night. Yeah... we had great sex on the floor in her kitchen, up against the TV, in the bathroom, half under the bed... Okay you get the idea.

I met her at the bar I hang out in all the time (every night). We talked all night and hit it off right away. Well, she called me today to tell me something that just "slipped her mind" last night. She has a boyfriend that she's been with for a while. He's in Europe on buisness for however long... His name is Rob. So any of you peopel in Europe meet a guy named Rob... beat him up...

Anyway. She didn't seem to off about it. She just said that she would understand if I didn't want to see her again but seeing as how we hang out in the same place we are going to see each other. Moral issue here. Do I keep talking to her in hopes that she breaks up with Europe Rob or do I forget about it and thank God I was wearing a condom... I think? What would you do if you were to get housed and do this.... with a girl that was drunk enough to forget she loved someone else?

Help.


EDIT: If she slept with me after knowing me four hours... her relationship must not be too good.

Well the first question i would ask is how is that rob relationship going for her?

keep talking to her but don't consider yourself as being in a serious relationship with her if even a relationship at all. if she shows no signs of breaking up with rob make yourself increasingly scarce. if she DOES show signs, come onto her a little bit more and show her you're interested so she has something to go to when she does break up with him.

that is if you are interested...

if she really loved this other guy she wouldn't forget something like that. If their relationship was open then it wouldn't matter and she probably would've said so. I'd say keep talking to her if you have to share space with her, but i wouldn't expect anything more out of it.

My take on this is that she is a slut to put it bluntly.

If she did this to her boyfriend she will do it to you.

Maybe there is no boyfriend and she just said that bc she regrets sexing someone that quickly.

Girls suck.

To me the key thing here is that you didn't know about Rob until afterwards. Now you do.

Basically, she cheated on her boyfriend and seems like she might do it again.

As a general rule of thumb, it's a good idea not to touch a man's woman. You don't know this man, and you have the perfect opportunity to walk away with a good memory and a relatively clear conscience. However, if you DO talk to her again, chances are good she'll put the moves on you again... And this time you'll know there's a boyfriend.

I'd skip on the drama that can come as a result of this. She was a good lay, great, time to move on. Even if she ended up breaking up with Rob, would you want to get in a relationship with this girl, who doesn't seem to have qualms about cheating?

Like I said...not worth the headache.

Stay clear but be polite if you see her again. Don't go looking to get laid again but don't close the door with her in case Rob ever goes away.

Well I'm from Europe ànd I know a guy named Rob, and if he is your ladies guy, then I wouldn't worry about it - she'll be yours in no time :) - then again if she has a "Rob" and if she's banging other guys when drunk then she's got a real problem and you may have/get one to whenever you'de have to go on a business trip to Europe ;)

What's love got ot do with it? And if it has something to do with it, then I feel sorry that you slept with this woman "on the floor in her kitchen, up against the TV, in the bathroom, half under the bed" after having known her for you're so called edit "four hours" - how and why would you feel to ask advice after you banged a druk woman like that - do you see a future together? :rolleyes:

Best advice in here. Walk away, but dont be rude if/when you see her again. Dont be screwing some other guy's girl behind his back, and also realize that if she did it once, she will do it again. Leave it as it was, and just remember it for the good time.

Okay... she is a nice girl. I would like to get to know her better if the situation works that way. She's the best girl I've met in months. I don't really wanna count her out just cause I snogged her after only four hours.

I used the word love as a joke.

ok - well as I said before:

if she has a "Rob" and if she's banging other guys when drunk then she's got a real problem and you may have/get one to whenever you'de have to go on a business trip to Europe ;)

Maybe you're special, maybe Rob is a fool - and she may be "all that" and who knows she may prove to be a fantastic mate, all I'm saying is that you'de beter watch out with this girl - I think that "getting a commitment" will have to be explict on her side if you want to follow this trough - since she just said that she would understand if I didn't want to see her again - it doesn't sound like a person who really is mad about you, and so it's up to you to decide if you want to bet on it or not, the least one could say is that she's not a "sure thing" :)

You are not responsible for the fidelity of others.

You have no problems now, but trying to stick around in hopes she loses the current boyfriend is a losing proposition. This kind of girl (one who would sleep with someone after 4 hours and one who did it while knowingly having a boyfriend) is someone you don't want to get involved with.

Give her space. Remain respectful and respectable. See what happens.
(Worst thing you could do is try to persuade or pressure her because if anything goes wrong she can run back to Rob or blame you.)

That is paramount. But it may be a sign of more than a bad relationship, she may have commitment issues.

What you have to ask yourself is this: "what do I want from this girl?"

If the answer is hot non-committed sex, then she may be right for you.
If the answer is you would like to replace her boyfriend and have a relationship with her, then I suspect you would be making a big mistake.

Once a cheater, always a cheater and all that jazz.

I met my wife under similar circumstances. She had a boyfriend in CO. and was living in Montreal. We didn't do the one night stand drunken stupor sex binge but we did hit it off right away. If she seems interested in you go for it....if she doesn't ditch Euorob within thr first couple dates back off and hope Rob isn't some kind of prize fighting champion.

Chris

It seems like this relationship can go several different directions. It is important for you to be careful though, and not invest too much until you know what her plans are.

If you get hung up on her and are still side tail, she'll be lying and sneaking around to see you. This can be very frustrating if you want more than sex from her.

But, if she is wanting to move on from the old relationship she'll let you know. As long as you know what you want from her you'll know how to protect yourself.

You owe Rob nothing. Sex is sex and is often best left as such. Getting into a relationship with this girl is just going to get your feelings all hurt when you leave town for a couple weeks and she shacks up with another bar guy.

Theres nothing wrong with being fuckbuddies as long as you use a condom. Nothing at all.

I'd do her up against the car, in the back door, anywhere and everyway possible foir as long as possible. You don't get drunk and forget you have a boyfriend. She was horney and needed it. If you can fulfill her needs good for you. Just try not to become too attached to her until she decided where her and her BF are going. Even then if you do get attached to her remember she cheated on her BF to be with you and she will likely do it again.

What comes to mind for me is RUN she sounds like she is bad news. What stops her from doing the same thing to you this chick sounds like bad news just thank her for the lovin but leave her be.

When I met my wife we hit it off so well if we would have been with other people I think we would have broken up. But we were already single so we will never know.

But for us it was an instant thing. She came back to my apartment the first night we met. We talked until late in the morning. I slept on the couch and gave her my bed. (STUDIO)... We stuck together like glue. We had sex a couple weeks later. She moved in a couple weeks after that. We we married a couple years later.

Moral of the story: When its right, its right no matter whats wrong.

ahhh, i love the way everyone (meaning her, this time) blames alchohol for there own misadventures. -oh, i was drunk so you must forgive me- bullshit. obviously the guy in europe means nothing, and she would probably do the same to you if you were out of town. glad the sex was good, but i would probably move on.

Okay, here's my take. She needed a little lovin' and you just happened to be the guy, albeit she may find you more than just a lay, esp. since she contacted you again. Personally, if I had a this happen, I think I would talk to her again, and again, but try to keep anything phyiscal out, until you know it's right.

Maybe, maybe not.

I always said I would never date a girl who cheats. But I did. And 5 years later I married her. We recently passed the 7 year itch milestone...still goin' strong!

if she was a good lay then keep tapping it and dont have a serious relationship with her because she will do the same to you. so just take what you can get

I think that if she has done this to 'Rob' then she will again to this to you being 'the new bf' if you get serious with her. Tried this before.. never again...

Put yourself in Rob's shoes and then decide what you would want to happen if you were him.

Amen. :)

I would also like to add that we males suck too, in the same sense. Being human is sucky business I'm afraid :(

RUN- one, I have to agree with the whole "slut" take of other people- for another, its one thing when the girl doesn't tell you about another guy- surely not your fault- another thing entirely when you fuck her knowing that she is with someone else- also- what keeps her from using you as a "dick in a jar" and stringing you along painfully/ using you- doesn't sound too good/healthy a proposition to me.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

I don't care how drunk you are - you don't "forget" you have a boyfriend! I mean please! :rolleyes:

The general thought here seems to be that if she screwed around on her boyfriend, then she would do the same to you. I agree.

Uh huh. There are plenty of women out there who won't cheat on their SO with anyone, much less someone they've only known for 4 hours. You found yerself a slut. Find something better.

i don't get the judgmentalism of these posts. if you want to be with her some more (until the other Unit comes back).. i would.. i have... it worked out as okay as anything (nothing ever is perfect).

Maybe it supposed to be you and she. maybe she got horny waiting for Rob and just scratched the itch... let' see.. Europe... oh yeah they have women there too, and .. i would, i did...

So now she told you, so as someone else wrote now its different. If you want to know how it is, talk to her about it and see. I dont' think you owe Rob anything, but actually trying to "break them up" would be bad form and bad karma.
enjoying some more of what's hot with her while she is in the mood is what I would do, if it's what i wanted to do.

Should have made a poll here ...

I'm with the "Hit it" crowd here. You don't owe Rob squat, and you're getting good (great?) sex. Just make sure that you both understand the terms of the relationship, whatever they may be.

Give her one for me. :D

If she's having sex with you then that's her decision.
You don't know Rob and as long as you can handle him physically then don't worry about it. If you're worried that Rob weights 240 LBS then tuck your dick and run. :)

Um, I'm with Nikki on this one. You're staring at a dead end here, man.

She is telling you this so that you know exactly the type of relationship she is looking for with you... sexual only. Don't even THINK about making this girl into dating material because she isn't ;).

Re: Drunken Sex/The Other Guy
 

If you sleep with someone the first time you meet them, chances are good that the relationship is either going to suck, or be purely physical.

If that is the case, you should keep her around, so if she does break up with Rob you can take care of the physical without the relationship part.

Plus it is always nice to have a buddy at the bar you hang out in just in case.:cool:

Re: Drunken Sex/The Other Guy
 

I'd recommend you just forget about her and leave her be.... If she gets with you by betraying another man, who says she won't do the same to you if you two ever do get together?