Stage Fright? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ElwoodBlues · 01-25-2004, 01:17 AM

Alright, I've been with my current girlfriend about 2 months now. We've been exchanging oral pleasures, getting hot and heavy, things like that. Tonight things got goin, and we got to the point of having sex. Now whenever I am with her, I have no problem getting an erection, I get tons of them. But when we got to the point of...err.......insertion.....I couldn't maintain altitude. I think I was worried about how it was going to be, it being good for her, lasting long enough, so on and so forth.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, does anyone have any good advice for this? Maybe it won't happen again, but if it does, I want to have some trick up my sleeve just in case.

wilbjammin · 01-25-2004, 01:28 AM

don't think about your penis, think about her... it shouldn't be a big problem, just remember that it isn't about performing, it is about the experience of being with her... and that you'll have plenty of times for it to be great, it doesn't have to be "perfect" every time... just take your time, and relax

fhqwhgads · 01-25-2004, 05:51 AM

It's a catch 22 now bro. Since it has happened once to you, now the next time you'll be worried about it happening again. The more you think about it, the more likely it is to happen to you.

I can't offer you a trick. It's quite normal to be nervous the first time (or the first time with a new partner). Take your time and enjoy the ride. There's no need to be in a hurry about things. When the time is right, your body will come through for you.

Good luck...

ratbastid · 01-25-2004, 07:51 AM

Totally normal and fine. It happened to me my first time too. Doesn't mean a thing about you or your prospects for your sex life.

Generally speaking, it doesn't pay to be too goal-oriented about sex. Enjoy the process. If I've got a trick, that's the trick.

DEI37 · 01-25-2004, 07:54 AM

I get it more often than I'd like, especially when we meet new people. On top of that, I don't exactly last too long, so even when I do get inside the woman of the hour, I'm usually doing good to last a minute! Especially if I've not had her before. The ones we've been with several times...that doesn't happen so much. I also get it more in group situations, but that's another topic completely.

Dixie_Wrekked · 01-25-2004, 12:23 PM

I think wilbjammin has it spot on

Tophat665 · 01-25-2004, 02:00 PM

The Melty Man cometh!!!

Sorry.

OK, you go downtown. Get your face down there and let your foreplay set such a standard that you feel no need to prove anything when it comes to the actual sex.

motdakasha · 01-25-2004, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by elwoodblues43
I think I was worried about how it was going to be, it being good for her, lasting long enough, so on and so forth.

I'm willing to bet money (ok, a penny) that that's the cause for your issue. Now, the thing about this that's really common is the first time it happens it might have a physical biological reason for happening (i.e. a cold, stuffy nose, whatever) but then the guy thinks he has a more serious problem than he really has. Then it becomes a viscious cycle caused by unnecessary mental anguish or concerns or worries. This is what you need to work on, no "trick up your sleeve" is going to fix it. Though it wouldn't hurt to take the downtime to focus on your woman.

I recommend picking a non-romantic moment to talk with her about it. Tell her your concerns. Maybe getting the vote of confidence from her that you're doing the right things will be enough to keep it up. Or maybe discussing new things to try with her will get you going again. Either way, I think nothing but good can come out of discussing it with her.

Just realize that the problem lays within the mental baggage department and nothing is wrong with your body. If you can get over your concerns and worries, you should be scott-free.

Dixie_Wrekked · 01-25-2004, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tophat665
OK, you go downtown. Get your face down there and let your foreplay set such a standard that you feel no need to prove anything when it comes to the actual sex.

you sir are a genius, that's what worked for me

Slims · 01-25-2004, 03:17 PM

Edited.

gabshu · 01-26-2004, 10:07 AM

This happens to my best friend all the time. It's really weird like 5 guys she has tried to have sex with don't get hard when the time comes. Really weird, she's going crazy.

skysooner · 01-26-2004, 10:21 AM

The first time you start worrying about your performance you kind of get locked out of the moment. This still happens to me on occasion when I'm distracted. The best way to solve it is to just do lots and lots of foreplay on her and her on you till you just can't stand it anymore and have to have sex. Hopefully by this time you are so into the moment that you don't think about anything else but the pleasure.

Prince · 01-26-2004, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by gabshu
This happens to my best friend all the time. It's really weird like 5 guys she has tried to have sex with don't get hard when the time comes. Really weird, she's going crazy.

Why is that weird?

Quote:

Originally posted by Tophat665
OK, you go downtown. Get your face down there and let your foreplay set such a standard that you feel no need to prove anything when it comes to the actual sex.

Brilliant!

Jephree · 01-26-2004, 12:12 PM

Move from the foreplay to the main course quicker. That's the only advice I can give you. Maybe then *maintaining won't be a problem.

01-25-2004, 01:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
ElwoodBlues Psycho Location: Massachusetts	Stage Fright? Alright, I've been with my current girlfriend about 2 months now. We've been exchanging oral pleasures, getting hot and heavy, things like that. Tonight things got goin, and we got to the point of having sex. Now whenever I am with her, I have no problem getting an erection, I get tons of them. But when we got to the point of...err.......insertion.....I couldn't maintain altitude. I think I was worried about how it was going to be, it being good for her, lasting long enough, so on and so forth. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, does anyone have any good advice for this? Maybe it won't happen again, but if it does, I want to have some trick up my sleeve just in case.

01-25-2004, 01:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
wilbjammin * * *	don't think about your penis, think about her... it shouldn't be a big problem, just remember that it isn't about performing, it is about the experience of being with her... and that you'll have plenty of times for it to be great, it doesn't have to be "perfect" every time... just take your time, and relax __________________ Innominate.

01-25-2004, 07:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	I get it more often than I'd like, especially when we meet new people. On top of that, I don't exactly last too long, so even when I do get inside the woman of the hour, I'm usually doing good to last a minute! Especially if I've not had her before. The ones we've been with several times...that doesn't happen so much. I also get it more in group situations, but that's another topic completely. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

01-25-2004, 02:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	The Melty Man cometh!!! Sorry. OK, you go downtown. Get your face down there and let your foreplay set such a standard that you feel no need to prove anything when it comes to the actual sex. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-25-2004, 03:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Edited. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence Last edited by Slims; 12-20-2010 at 07:30 PM..

01-25-2004, 05:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	It's a catch 22 now bro. Since it has happened once to you, now the next time you'll be worried about it happening again. The more you think about it, the more likely it is to happen to you. I can't offer you a trick. It's quite normal to be nervous the first time (or the first time with a new partner). Take your time and enjoy the ride. There's no need to be in a hurry about things. When the time is right, your body will come through for you. Good luck...

01-25-2004, 07:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Totally normal and fine. It happened to me my first time too. Doesn't mean a thing about you or your prospects for your sex life. Generally speaking, it doesn't pay to be too goal-oriented about sex. Enjoy the process. If I've got a trick, that's the trick.

01-25-2004, 12:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dixie_Wrekked Banned Location: Bryan, Tx	I think wilbjammin has it spot on

01-26-2004, 10:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
gabshu Psycho Location: The capital of the free world??	This happens to my best friend all the time. It's really weird like 5 guys she has tried to have sex with don't get hard when the time comes. Really weird, she's going crazy. __________________ Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

01-26-2004, 10:21 AM	#12 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	The first time you start worrying about your performance you kind of get locked out of the moment. This still happens to me on occasion when I'm distracted. The best way to solve it is to just do lots and lots of foreplay on her and her on you till you just can't stand it anymore and have to have sex. Hopefully by this time you are so into the moment that you don't think about anything else but the pleasure.

01-26-2004, 12:12 PM	#14 (permalink)
Jephree AKA: Boner Stabone Location: The one and only, SoCaLi	Move from the foreplay to the main course quicker. That's the only advice I can give you. Maybe then *maintaining won't be a problem.