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-   -   Break-up, or take a break? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/39379-break-up-take-break.html)

HockeyGuy 12-17-2003 05:44 PM

Break-up, or take a break?
 
Problem (or not...) My gf (two months) is travelling away to the far east at the beginnging of january for a few months. I have had a long distance relationship before the first time i came to travel across the atlanitc; Last time i ended yup STAYING in UK after the trip (was only supposed to be 4 mo's). Things can change and although i still believe i'll be here when she gets back, it all depends on work and such, and then whatever happens with her. I havnt known her for too long, but things are going great. Any suggestions? HELP!
-tx =D

Zorvox 12-17-2003 07:13 PM

Do what you think is right....

present_future 12-17-2003 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zorvox
Do what you think is right....
But if you do decide to take a break, don't make your life miserable by thinking about what she may be doing at any time. Don't hold yourself back if there is a girl that you like, because your girl may not be holding back from a guy that she might like.
Just some advice.

analog 12-17-2003 09:57 PM

If you decide to quit it, don't look back. The worst thing you can do is break up and then wonder when she's getting back, etc.

Do you love her after being with her for 2 months? If the answer is really yes, then I don't think you have much of a decision to make.

wilbjammin 12-17-2003 10:48 PM

Whatever you do, make sure you're really forward with her about your intentions and try to get her to be as definitive as she can be. The worst thing that can happen is being unpleasantly surprised by wishy-washy communication and expectations.

anti fishstick 12-17-2003 11:02 PM

in regards to the subject, what exactly is the difference between "taking a break" and breaking up. isn't it really the same thing...

SparklingDot 12-17-2003 11:22 PM

I would say that if you both want to, then stay together. If you aren't that serious though, then break up. It is only a few months, if you think you can deal with it, then give it a shot. Just make sure you both understand each other before she leaves, otherwise it'll be a huge mess.

Zorvox 12-18-2003 04:36 AM

breaking up is calling it quits

break is agreeing that you won't see anyone else and just take some time away from one another

tikki 12-18-2003 09:09 AM

if sheIsWorthIt = True Then
TakeABreak()
Else
BreakUp()
End If

Wow, I am a geek.

Anyway, two months doesn't seem like that long of a time to get really emotionally invested in a relationship, but if you have (and more power to you), then by all means wait for her. If not, then move on.

Iliftrocks 12-18-2003 01:22 PM

You might want to ask her...... If she's not worth the wait, don't...IMO

HockeyGuy 12-18-2003 05:51 PM

Thanx for the advice. I'm still lost as to what i'll do though. I WILL make suer that it is all clear though (i) 'Just make sure you both understand each other before she leaves' (/i), nothing worse than when it is left unclear. The love thing though, yes I do belive that I can say that I love her (Somethign i'm not used to before...) but i also realize the short time together. we'll see, i'm sure it'll all come together.
tx all

HockeyGuy 12-18-2003 06:00 PM

btw- Analog your post jsut about sums it all up. The looking back and all! I'm only 19, and to say that i truly love someone is very tough for me. But She is someone that I would wait that many months for, even with the short time we've known each other (and apparently (through word of mouth) she wants to do the same for me). IT sounds as if you know what i'm talking about here though! The other dilemma i have is that althoguh i intend on still ebing here in a few mo's if i get moved somewhere with my job i could move back home. ARGH.. Ah well :P I'm not complaining really cause at the moment i'm one happy guy. (believe it or not :P) job, friends, gf, and all.. can't complain!


Quote:

Originally posted by analog
If you decide to quit it, don't look back. The worst thing you can do is break up and then wonder when she's getting back, etc.

Do you love her after being with her for 2 months? If the answer is really yes, then I don't think you have much of a decision to make.


heyharry 12-18-2003 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HockeyGuy
But She is someone that I would wait that many months for, even with the short time we've known each other (and apparently (through word of mouth) she wants to do the same for me).
Dude... rather than just get our opinion, you've got to talk to her about all this. As had been said, communication is key! Come to a decision together and two things will happen: first, you'll both be on the same page. And second, if you do stay together, you'll know that you can work together overcoming obsticles. Not an easy thing to do!

wry1 12-19-2003 05:15 AM

Is there really any difference between "Breaking Up" and "Taking a Break"?

I don't think so.

What you really need to be asking yourself is: do I really love this girl? Because if you do, then stay with her. Even if she's abroad, keep the relationship alive. Oh sure, it's definitely hard work, but it's the only way you'll have a hope in Hell of hanging on to "the one"....if she is that for you.

If you two go your separate ways in the relationship - even if it's just "temporary" - then I can assure you that things won't even be remotely the same when she returns. Life will have intruded too far into each of your worlds, and the people who fell for each other will no longer be the same. That's not to say that Life won't be effecting you both anyway, but if you're working at keeping together, then it's something you're both having happen together....get it?

As for the whole "what if" issue...what if you get shipped out of the UK, what if...etc. Don't worry about it. Deal with it if it happens...but don't make it the basis for any decisions you need to make.

That's the best advice I can give you. Hope it helps.

Jedbeck 12-19-2003 06:11 AM

I think what you need to remember is that if you are taking a break the moment you decide you want to be with her you have to let her know. If you wait for her to make the move it could end up being to late.

starbum 12-19-2003 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tikki
[B]if sheIsWorthIt = True Then
TakeABreak()
Else
BreakUp()
End If

So true.

HockeyGuy 12-19-2003 05:36 PM

'Dude... rather than just get our opinion, you've got to talk to her about all this.' way ahead of you here mate. Well kind of. we talk tmrw, see what happens then!
tx again everyone, now up to the heart (S) to decide!


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