Gay Roommates?
 

I was given a survey a while ago by someone in an LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual transexual) class. One of the questions was whether I would mind having a gay roommate. Innocent me saw no sense in this question and answered that I didn't care. I then had a discussion with my roommate (who's bi) about it and she said that a lot of people probably wouldn't want a gay roommate. I didn't think that belive her, but I talked to some guys and they said that they wouldn't want to have a gay roommate. I find this appaling and I wouldn't expect people to be so petty in issues like these.

Anyway I wanted to know what other people tought about his, especially the guys, would you mind having a gay roommate in your college dorm?

I don't think I would care. I assume they'd realize I'm not gay and wouldn't try to do anything to me. Although I realllllyyy wouldn't want to walk in on man-man love going on in the dorm. That'd be the only problem I could see with it.

i would not care, one of my best freinds in high school was gay, its not as if he had any intrest in me. i dont see why some people have trouble being around gay people. they are for the most part just like everyone else.

I have had a Gay room mate.

He paid his half of everything on time.

I had no problems. I didn't really hang out with any of my roommates any way. Even when I lived with 3 girls.

i wouldn't care. i wouldn't really want to see him getting it on whith his boyfrind, but i don't really care aboutthe fact it's guy on guy... it's just get a room, you know? i was at the bar last night and there were two guys grinding on each other, and i was a little shocked cause i didn't expect it, and had never thought that they were gay from when i'd seen them there before. i just don't really want to see PDA at that level.

It might be cool to have a roomie that called me 'cutie'

seriously, it doesn't bother me at all.

hell no. Might get some decent clothing advice out of the deal.

And fag hags tend to be SO liberated

he could introduce me to all his straight single girlfriends...

whatever with one rule. Don't hit on me. Seriously, been hit on by gay guys who know I I'm not gay and it's not cool. But this goes for everyone else too....so yeah. Wouldn't bother me a bit.

Uhh.. there is a "LGBT class"?

. . .

Geez, a bit insecure, eh?

I wouldnt mind at all... *shrug* long as he follows the rules i make any roomie follow...

the main place i would see a problem is i would prolly be harassed by some of the closed minded tards around here...

meh? wouldn't mind at all.

As long as they paid the rent etc.

Being gay, doesn't bother me. Being obnoxious, does. But that's not just on one side of the lifestyle line either. Infact, I know a lot of straight guys who would make far worse roommates than a lot of the gay guys I know.

As long as he's not like that fruity dumbass from 'will and grace'... you know who I'm talking about...

Why would I mind having a gay roommate?

I think I'd rather have a gay roomate than a straight guy. Seriously. Gay guys are fun. Straight guys (in my experience) are less fun, and they smell bad.

I also don't think I'd really mind walking in on man love... why is it any different than other love? And I sincerely doubt he would hit on me, though it has happened before. Heh, picture this: I was at my girlfriend's dad's house, and he was having a pride party. One of the guys thought I was 25 or 30 (17 at the time) and gay. Imagine the look of shock on his face when he learned that I was my girl's boyfriend :D

Yeah, so I think it would be fine.

no just weired me out alot. Dude was offering discounts in exchange for phone numbers, not cool at all.

I'm also in a relationship so it's really an extention of the "I'm taken don't hit on me" rule.

it would be nice to be able to ask my roommate how i looked and get an honest answer ;)

haha true that... although, would you really get an honest answer?

I don't think I'd mind. As long as his half of everything was paid, and he understood that I'm not gay and not going to turn gay, then I think I'd be okay with it. I wouldn't want to walk in on him and another guy getting with it or anything, but then arrangements can always be made to avoid uncomfortable situations. Then the good fassion advice would be a plus.

But then, I don't think I want to have any roommates ever again, unless I have to...

I think I might have to give a dissenting opinion here, and say that it might be a bit awkward for me. I'm a hetero male, and I don't think I'm a homophope or anything, but....

I think I'd have some reservations to having a roommate who was gay. The way I see it, the situation shares some characteristics with having a roommate who was a heterosexual female. Not that I'm fundamentally against either idea, I'm just saying there's room for awkardness in both scenarios, awkwardness that I don't think would happen with a roommate who was another hetero male.

Let's take the idea of, i don't know, changing clothes. I wouldn't find a problem with it with another heterosexual male in the room. However, I would feel a little awkward with a hetero girl in the room. I would just be... shy, or reserved or whatever. I think that same feeling applies if it were a homosexual male.

... does this make me a homophobe? :(

I dont think it would bother me at all, unless they was pestering me for sex and comming onto me, but then again i wouldnt like it if a straight roommate kept pestering me and annoying me.


as long as they was an okay person i wouldnt mind at all.

actually they have a whole department.

I don't think so at all, I'm having a hard time with this train of thought. In my opinion a guy gay is not like a girl at all. And it just sucks for young gay guys that their peers would think this way. I think its this subtle form of discrimination that makes things harder from them.

But, by definition, they share at least one characteristic: they're attracted to males, which happens to be my gender. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, but I think it's the driving factor in making me feel awkward when I share a room with them.

Well, I HAD a gay roommate, I do not mind gay people, and I'm pretty easy to get a long with. But seriously, this kid never did his dishes, never picked up after himself, our room (Yes i had to room w/ him) was always littered w/ his shit, he never pitched in on food or stuff for the apartment, and he was a lazy ass.
Also, since parties always happened, he was such an attention whore, always trying to get three or four or ALL of the girls to come with him to look at something. So, he pissed me, and all the other heterosexual males at the party off. It was a bad situation, plus, everything was always about him, and he was selfish as hell.

Genearly though, if they were normal, and not a flamer like my old roommate was, I wouldn't mind. As long as they dont walk across the room with a limp wrist like my old roommate did, and if they do their part around the house, i wouldnt mind to much. However, given the choice, i would much prefer a hetero roommate.

Hopefully i didnt offend anyone by that. :)

If your streight or gay it doesn't matter as long as you pay your bills on time.
It's not like by having a gay roommate it'll rub off on you, or if your gay you wont become streight because your roommate is
so.

Cool, where you at?
Thank you for recognizing homosexual males as DIFFERENT from heterosexual females. I know it's a huge leap for some to grasp this...

And all the stereotypes in this thread kinda piss me off. Limp wrists and fashion sense are not inherent characteristics of homosexual males.

I wouldn't have a problem with it, most of the gay people I know are well kept, and would make ideal roomates. Having a live in fashion consultant wouldn't be half bad ether.

I would mind, because it would be weird. I hate being politically correct and at one point or another I'd probably piss him off.

Just because you are roommates with a gay person does not mean you have to share the same bed. Then again if it is only a 1 bedroom apartment, you may want to start asking questions because then I think it would be a relationship. ;)

i've noticed one of the biggest "issues" with homosexuals is the fear that they might come on to the person even though their heterosexual. even people who claim they're not homophobic often like to specify, "as long as they don't come on to me."

het chicks hit on gay men, but they're not afraid or bothered by it (unless it's flagrant or something). i think it should go the other way, too. sometimes it happens because they don't know your orientation, no big deal. it's not like we wear a sign over our heads saying if we're het/gay/bi or whatever.

I've had gay roommates. I have gay friends. My brother is gay. I have no problem with it but clearly I have had the advantage of exposure and time to get my own mind around the issue. Basically if you can communicate with people you can lay down the ground rules for any living arrangement then it shouldn’t be an issue.

To the question of Gay men and Straight women, I don't think there is a difference in this context. What makes people think it is different is how they believe they are perceived by others.

It becomes problematic for most straight guys if they are hit on by a gay guy in public. They get very self conscious. Straight guys feel that just the act of getting hit on by a gay guy is incriminating somehow and makes others think they might be gay as well. Well, not in my circle of friends or most places in this city (SF), but most anywhere else than here I think it is the case.

Whether I had a girl friend or a guy friend that was making continued unwanted advances on me I have issue with it. If they were getting physical or touchy in a flirty way, then I would start to get uncomfortable. The advances are unwanted in either case.

just my 2 cents

Univeristy of Maryland, College Park. Very liberal school.

Are you also afraid of living with someone who has a different skin color, because you could say something and piss them off?

I don't get why gay people are concidered another type of human being, what's so important about who you like to have sex with? And I think this is a total double standart because a lot of the guys would be turned on if they lived with a lesbian.

Or even just a normal girl. She has an interest in men (so do gay men), but it's somehow less offensive if she makes passes and the male doesn't reciprocate than when a guy hits on the male roommate?

i totally would not mind. i mean, i wouldn't mind any more than a straight person anyways.

btw, i think this is an excellent point.

wouldn't bother me, I wouldn't mind having a roommate with some fashion sense that cleans up after himself (sorry if i'm stereotyping, but all my het friends are kind of slobs)

One of my roommates is gay, he rocks.

I'm fine with anyone who can maintain basic standards of living (clean up after yourself, shower regularly, not let their posessions invade my half of the room, etc.) and put up with me blasting death metal during normal non-quiet-time hours.

I don't think that sexual orientation is a big deal. I might be a bit more surprised walking in on two guys having sex than a guy and a girl, but only because it's not something I ever see right now. I try to avoid walking in on people, so that wouldn't really be an issue.

Me too, mot.

If they're persistent and annoying and offer you discounts for phone numbers, then, well, duh, but I don't see any reason to be disturbed otherwise.

My roommate in college was gay and we are still great friends to this day. We were both cool with each other and respected each other's point of view and it was never a problem. We found that our contrasts made life together more interesting. And like others have said, I got great fashion advice and always had lonely girls hanging around! :)

Nope, couldn't care less. As others have stated, as long as the rent and bills were paid on time, and the normal roommate rules were abided by from both him and I, why would I care?

Hell, might be fun...

Hey its cool that you guys have such a cool attitude to gay people. :)

People are people, no difference between us other than sexual, so what's the deal? As long as my roomate respects my privacy and space there are no issues.

Gay, straight, Bi, Trans.... um, is the place clean and the rent paid?? then who cares. I've roomed with people of different ethnicities, and in fact married one, and you know what? When the friendship is solid, then being PC isn't important at all. She knows I love her, and all that is her, and my friends who are gay, or of a different culture or skin colour know damned well that I love them. I've made the PC fauxpas more than once. It happens.. You are careful around people who don't know you, but those who do should recognize affection for what it is. Hit on me?? We went to a huge halloween party in the gay area of Dallas a couple weeks ago.. My fake boobs (very very obviously fake, they were painted tupperware bowls) got more attention than my wife's DD cleavage.. WAY more. we had a blast.. I got 4 phone numbers which we laughed about till we almost cried... A good person is a good person, and an ass is an ass... Gay has NOTHING to do with it at all!

It all depends on how 'flaming' he is, if at all. Most gay man I've met are just like every other guy I've met, and dont act like women having a bad day.

So no, no problem whatsoever, if they aren't as someone put it:

Caveat: I would have to know someone straight or gay to want them as a room mate. Since homosexuality does not necessarily precule one being a total asshole, I can't say that I wouldn't mind a gay roommate, just that I wouln't mind one any more than a straight roommate.

Off the top of my head, I have one gay friend who I wouldn't mind rooming with, and maybe a handful of others who I would mind rooming with. What can I say, I'm cantankerous.

He is what is wrong with gay portrayals on tv. I have many gay friends, and only one acts like that.

I agree: wouldn't be too bad if the roommate wasn't trying to prove he was gay..day to day.

<--------If they can handle my lifestyle, I can handle theres ;)
And at this point of my life, straight and what it really means as far as a lifestyle is blurred for me anyways.

i think i would mind rooming with a gay person. sitting around in my boxers and watching football would never be comfortable again. naturally, there would most likely be a lot of gay men around the place at times. it'd be pretty irritating if i felt one was checking me out. i know that sounds callous, but i think we all prefer honesty.

I'd have a huge problem...if they didn't pay half the rent.

Hey, that's the way some gay guys are and it's something that needs to be respected. I have plenty of gay friends that are more woman than *I* am and I love them for it. That's why us hags love them so much.

-+ Ivy +-
Mlle 'Fruit Fly'
Princess of the Fag Hags

(Can't be Queen, Margaret Cho is.)

I've slept in the same bed as a gay friend of mine. I'd have no problem having a gay roomie.

I had a gay roommate.
Besides the fact that he was a complete asshole, he liked to have his boyfriend over to spend the night.
And would sleep with him on MY couch. Yeah, as if that $10 couch from Goodwill hadn't been through enough already.
Gay people don't bother me, as long as they do what they do behind closed doors. I never banged a girl in front of others, and ESPECIALLY not in front of people it would offend.
What else is unbelievable is that he lied about being gay.. he would sleep with guys and then lie about being gay!!?

NEVER again. Avoid polar opposites in a roommate situation, and gay/straight is polar opposite.

One of my college roommates was gay although I didn't know this until about 3 years later. He never came onto me. One time he watched me get head from one of his female friends, I have no idea whether he liked watching it or not, we never spoke about it. He was a slob, but a pretty cool guy other than that.

The person who gives me a ride home from work is gay. It's actually nice to see someone who loves his SO, after talking to all my friends in relationship hell (myself included).

honestly i wouldn't be comfortable with it...

I would have no problem whatsoever. With all the mock sexual tension between me and my straight roommates, any real tension would have been lost in the noise.

The weird thing I see repeated all throughout by guys in this post is the idea of "as long as he doesn't hit on me".... and what if he does? You say, "sorry man, I like me the vagina" and you move the fuck on. What do you think he's gonna do, refuse to take no for an answer and rape you? C'mon. If he gets a no, he'll move on just like you do every time you put a line on a girl and SHE says no.

As for me, I wouldn't care if he's gay, bi, straight or martian. He better pick up after himself and pay his half of rent/etc., and above that, I don't care who he is or who he fucks- to begin with, it's none of my fuckin business anyway.

If I had a lesbian roommate, for that matter, it wouldn't make a bit of difference either.

Anyway, what difference does it make to <b>you</b>? What makes you so uncomfortable?

And what is "gay", anyway? I didn't know people still used labels. *shrug*