Would you date a single mom/dad?
 

A simple enough question... Would you date a single mom/dad? I'd appreciate it if you also mentioned why you chose what you did.

Personally, I probably wouldn't. I'm married and all, so it does not really apply to me anyway, but if I weren't...I doubt it. In the beginning of the relationship things would probably be all fine and dandy, but at some point she would expect me to meet the kids, and from thereon out it'd be the kids' interest ahead of mine. I could live with that if the kids were mine, but with someone else's kids? I don't think so.

maybe for kicks, if i was really attracted to the person..but never no way serious.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest

I don't know. It really would depend on the person, but I don't think I could do it.

But I don't want kids of my own, so that's another thing.

i am probably too immature atm to have any serious effect on a kids life, so probably not.

otherwise no biggie, once i finish uni and get a job it'd prolly be valid.

If it became serious then I would go with it.

I would never try to act like the father of the child though.

And the Universe appreciates that. :D

I would...and have.

If I weren't married... Yes, I'd date a single mother, and be serious in the matter. Having children shouldn't complicate a relationship, but more times than not it does. Unless you were planning on getting married, or the dad was gone, you'd be a father figure, but more like a good buddy. You'd also have to consider the age(s) of the child(ren). The older the child(ren), the harder the relationship would be to survive.

No problems with it: Instant Family!

Being I was a single dad on the dating scene, I was lucky enough to find a woman who didn't have a problem with dating a single dad. Things worked out very well for us and we have almost been married a year now and trying to have a child together. With the poll you kinda make it sound like it is a disease or something. And whats is the deal about being for kicks, do you get a plaque on the wall that says I screwed with a single parent???

I would and have.....

but I've done it already.. and not so interested... i'd say low on the choices

i wouldnt' have a problem with it at all, i'm great with kids, plus i didn't have to be there during childbirth
and once i bang her, i could tell my buddies i bagged a milf

I don't think I could handle the responsiblity of the situation because, at some point, the topic arises about settling down, etc. I suppose if the situation was right and I fell in love with the girl and the kid(s) and I got along, why not? This is a real tricky subject. I think its only human nature to want to be with someone that does not have offspring from another partner.

My final answer for this would be no. Although, if Reese Whitherspoon became single, I think I'd definitely make an exception. :P

Absolutely.

Seems like entirely too much responsibility.

For kicks yes. But for long term, no way. We could have fun together, but then our thoughts on how to raise a kid might conflict. Then what are we going to do.

The kid is already going through enough. Having parents who are separated is hard enough. I don't want to be the one who is not "the Real dad".

I think a lot of it depends on the kid. If the kid was a baby, then there will probably be a lot of issues still lingering around with the ex. If they're in their early teens, you may get the "your not my real dad" issue, but if they're older and mature and the woman was someone I'd be willing to commit to, than sure, why not.

I do/did and am just proud to be in this Mother's life in a positive manner. Children are a blessing and the next generation to carry on the things that make this country great, its people.
And yes there are more responsibilities, not thinking about yourselves all the time for one, but the kids first. And the rewards are also much, much greater as well.

Unless she is the most perfect woman for me, I wouldn't date a single mom. It would bother me that I'd be raising a kid that wasn't mine but the product of my gf, eventually wife (you said serious) and another man. Its almost like she cheated on you, but not.

Now way!
I don't have a family for a reason... Because I know I'm not ready. So why would I want to get involved in someone else's? There are too many down sides to it.

I'm really disappointed, for the first time ever, with the responses on TFP. Some day one of you will fall in love with someone who has kids and then see how the tune changes. Single parents (be they men or women) aren't looking for someone to be another "Dad" (or "Mom"). If you fall in love with someone would you be so callous as to say "oh no, but I can't/won't love your children so it's all off"? That just seems so heartless to me.
And yes, you may have guessed....I'm a single mom. My boys love their father, see him often and know that he will never be replaced. And I would never expect anyone to try to take over that position. Perhaps someday someone will come into their lives and be a friend and mentor but they only have one father. I think perhaps a bit of youth is speaking here (no offence at all meant to anyone) and it saddens me a little to think that a single parent would become such a forbidden thing based solely on the fact that they had children but didn't stay in a relationship - regardless of how bad it was for that particular person and/or the kids themselves. I do not think that just because I have children means that I am now unloveable or unworthy of being with someone.

I'm going to have to say no I would not. I personally just don't want a "ready-made" family.

Minx, I think it's not so much that people would consciously NOT fall in love with a single parent; it's more that they probably would never get to that point because they wouldn't take the initial steps towards being with that person. Many people view dating as a release in their lives, and getting involved with someone with kids would take a lot of carefree pleasure out of it. Anyone who thinks that kids shouldn't affect things is crazy. The single parent has to be more careful because they are going to be exposing their kids to the people they associate with. Those dating the single parent have to be careful too because they know that what happens with the single parent could have a detrimental effect on the kids.

Add those things up, and many folks will simply choose not to be involved with single parents. It's not meant as a personal slam of anyone or even a commentary on the virtues of single parenting. That's just the way it is. (IMHO of course)

True words, eribrav...and good ones as well. I suppose I'm just a wee bit touchy on the subject at times! Thanks.

Well as "part of youth speaking out" I would say no. Im in my second year of college, I dont want to worry about kids and such along with classes. Maybe as just a fling, but I wouldnt get serious.

I have dated a single Mom before....and almost married her.

It didn't take, but only because she wasn't the person she portrayed herself to be ( let's just say she was using me to get to someone else - nasty, isn't it! ); but for what it was worth, I loved her, I loved her two boys, and I tried to make sure I was there for them in any and every way I could possibly be.

My best friend in Arizona is a single Mom; I'm a de-facto "Uncle" to her two children. In fact, if she hadn't been married when I first met her, I probably would have dated her instead of becoming her best friend....her divorce happened long after we became close friends, and it just never seemed appropriate to change the relationship dynamic between us.

With all that said, I would have to weigh in as being one who has no issue with dating a woman with children. Remember that it's having children that has helped make the woman or man you might be interested in, and that without them they'd be completely different people.

strictly sexually.. it would turn me on immensly.. mothers generally have larger TnA for obvious reasons.. and the fact that i couldn't have her whenever i wanted would be a tease (good thing, for me).. also, to be blunt.. the pussy fits, man..

on an emotional level.. i think i could fall in love with a mother just the same as one who is not.. plus there is a little cuteling running about being adorable at you most of the day before 8pm..

mmm.. TnA :P~ ^^

Is that a "Just add Water" type of thing. LOL

Just for kicks like Hugh Grant in About a Boy.

LSD

the only reason is i hate kids and will never have any of my own, and what if i start just fucking her and then i fall for her? no way. anyhow, i'd never fuck her because the kid thing is a giant turnoff for me anyways, sorry moms out there, but it's the truth for me.

I couldn't do it. I would not ever be involved with a single mom because in my heart I would feel that there would be, or was never a time when I'd come first to her. It'd always be her kids, which of course is important, but before them it'd have been their father, a man who I'm not. And as I always put the woman first in my own relationships, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship where it's accepted right off the bat that it wouldn't be reciprocated.

When I met the woman who is now my wife, she had a newborn. The wariness of her having a very young son by another guy soon went away as I got to know her. She didn't try to make me the dad, I really can't imagine many single moms would want to try to force that upon a boyfriend. I stayed, and fell in love with her son as I fell in love with her. Before we were married we broke up for a few days, I remember being heartbroken by the thought that her son was out of my life. Now he's 2 and a half, and we have a 10 month old daughter, his half-sister, and I love them both equally.

And now that their mother and I may not stay together, I sure hope I can find someone who doesn't mind that I have a daughter!

Would I? Certainly
As a matter of fact, I've already done it.
She was my girlfriend for a year and a half.
She had a little girl of five.

She didn't talk, and I wasn't husband material yet. (you know, stable income, etc.)
It faded away as we grew apart...always great sex though.
Damn tall lady, 5.11 and a jock too.

id hit it...nothin wrong with a little MILF action
yaow!
:)

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

i would but it would depend on the situation........

<-- too young to even think about it right now...

wow, first time in my life I've felt too young to vote :P

At least, at the age that I am now, if I were to go out with a single mom it would probably be a bad choice on my part.

I wouldn't mind as long as I was attracted to her. If I had strugles with her children though I possibly would break it off but I would at least try to back them up and treat them respectfully at first.

i can´t imagine why i wouldn´t if i liked the person.
certainly, it would be a challenge, but a challenge worth taking imo.

Taking single people with kids out of the mix takes out a large part of the dating population. Why limit yourself when you might meet someone perfectly compatible with you?

I am a bit biased on this, seeing that I am a single mother, and I would never want someone to base my merits as a mate on wether I had offspring or not. Fact of the matter is, with divorce so rampant these days, it's hard not to find someone with a child or two already.

Although, I do date and interact differently now that I do have a child, I would never pick some guy up at a bar and bring him home. I have a daughter to protect and a life to nurture, and that type of behavior isn't something I want her to see.

It takes a very special, mature, and well-adjusted person to persue a relationship with someone who has children, and to do it for the long run, not just a fling with a "milf". It's a hard thing for a man to have a life with another man's children, and you just have to understand that it's not for everyone.

My boyfreind is dealing with this, and I know it's hard for him, because he doesn't have any children and doesn't want to mess things up with me, but I told him from the start that I wasn't looking for a new father, she already has one, and he was in no way obligated to be her father, as long as he treats her well, as well as he would treat anyone else, things will work out if you really love someone. Plus it helps if your kid is one hell of a cutie!!

i don't think i would at this point i my life...i'm too young to have kids, etc...mainly i don't have an income to support them since i'm a full time student.

Later in my life... Why not? I adore kids-i do child care part time now, and being a father is something that is a very important goal for me. I guess i would be wary to get too involved with the kids early on, in case things don't work out with their mom...there is no need to tease them with "maybe i'll be your dad" even if it is inadverent.

all in all, i would date someone with kids if i was at a point in my life where i was ready for kids.

I'm 19. It would just be a bit weird for me. Maybe later in life.

Okay I'm a hypocrite and I'd like to change my vote. When I was seeing my right hand... I voted "I'd 'date' her/him, but just for kicks". Now that I met someone with kids I would much rather vote another way.

I think its one of those questions that matters only when it's happening to you...

As a general rule of thumb, no. Generally, I hate kids. I wouldn't want to put someone, or their children, in that position.

However...
I would make an exception for Paul Walker 'cause he's damn adorable.

Meh...I think it depends. I wouldn't want to go out with your run-of-the-mill 19-year-old who just got dumped by her boyfriend because of the baby, but I think I'd be cool with a widow who has a child, ya know? Maybe I'm wierd like that,I don't know, but I'm seperating the two.

If I weren't married I'd definately do it. I've got my own girl. A child would be a "distraction" but I think it would help to build the relationship on a different level. There would probably be less physical and more emotional/mental. While that would be harder to maintain it would be more sure of lasting if you made it to the alter with the person. I think dating someone with a kid would just give you more to talk about and do. You could take the kid places to have "family" fun. I think it would be awesome. Having kids around allows adults to listen more to their inner child.

i wouldn't. at this point of my life, i don't want kids. and i wouldn't want to date someone who had kids because i'd just think of it as excess baggage. i'd want to date the person and be a part of their lives.. not the kids!

jaja, my friend is dating a MILF. He's like 22 and she's 30 something. Its just ridicolous, I don't think its a good idea for either of them or the kid.

It is okay to date women with children if you go in with your eyes open and realize that you have to take into account that her primary feeling's are for her children. If you can't get along with the children, the relationship won't go very far.

At this point, I would date the cardboard cutout of a single parent.

I'm currently in a serious relationship (2 years so far, and im 24) I feel that I am too young to start a family (I know I'm really not that young to some though)

I'd really rather focus on getting through college (start next year) and getting a decent wage (minimum wage in idaho sucks it. 5.15?!)

We're pretty much married at this point but not official or anything

but yeah, if I were to find myself back on the market, I dont think i would, yet, I'd probably just have some fun while I could, and then when I was ready to be serious again, it wouldnt matter if they had a kid or not. I would do my best to make her and the child happy.

thats just my take on it. but as it is. I dont have any plans for children (and neither does she) but both of us are curious what kinda kid we would have regardless. :D

i dont want to sound shallow for saying no, its not that i would not, its that im 18 and not ready to have kids, so if there are pre-existing kids that would not work. also if they are like 14-15 they are almost as old as me and that would be weird

I totally agree with Minx on this one!!! I also am a single mom and am really shocked at tfp ! I am used to being veiwed in a demeaning way but not when most of what it is about is bullshit and stereotypical!!
I would NEver ask a guy I was seeing to take the place of my children's father/ daddy!! I think it is absurd to even think that about single parents! I would however make it abundantly clear that my children come first before even god!! I would also tell my bf or whatver that they don't have to like my children, play with my children etc, but they do have to tolerate, be nice and respectful to them!!
I am in a new relationship and my bf knows this he also knows that I refuse to pawn my children off on anyone just so I can be with a boy ( because that is what he is if he ever asked me to do so!
Although I believe everyone has a right to that opinion I do think part of the problem is that soem single parents are not honest with their prospective date/gf/whatever!! I am totally upfront with soemone before they ever coem tro my home to pick me up that I have kids9 I am a proud mother) if they have a problem with that they need to be upfront with me about it!! If they only want to date me for "kicks" FUCK THEM!!

I married and had kids fairly young,I also divorced fairly young.I spent most of my time alone rearing my kids,the dating I did do was kept pretty far away from home.Divorced moms with kids were looked upon as "damaged goods" by a lot of men and I had no desire to subject myself or my kids to that kind of thing.The divorce had been bad enough,they didn't deserve more misery

Fast forward,my kids are grown and gone,suddenly I get hit on by more than a few guys who married and had kids late,well they're now divorced doing the co-parenting thing and having trouble coping with being 40 something dealing with their pre-school or young elementary school age children and hoping to hook up with a g/friend who will cook,clean and pitch in for child care duties and who might provide some help with their often hefty child support payments.

Well,guess what? My patience for young kids is gone pretty much,I enjoy the freedom to sleep late,travel,work varying hours
and just do my own thing.I prefer men who are childless or who's children are grown.

"To everything there is a season" and my season for dealing with young children on a regular basis is over:)

Good luck at finding Virgin Mary! As you get older in life you will find their aren't very many people with whom the possibilties are they don't have a prior life and they don't have children whether or not those children may live with them or not. What terms are we speaking of as far as "single parenting goes"? Both parents whether involved or not involved are still parents if a split up should occour. Personally myself, I don't have a problem with someone having children. It just gives me a little bit more of that one person that attracts my heart and more for me to embrace with loving arms into my life.

I did. I didn't really think of it at the time but it didn't bother me much. I met her kid only once in the 2 month period. She kept the time lives pretty seperate.

guys should definately date single mothers but they shouldn't steal the puuty