This this a Guy or a Girl
 

I met this women threw one of those online dating services about a year ago and we have been talking ever since. And over that time we have gotten quite close and I would get like to get closer but I have some hesitation about that. We have never met b4… she gave me her phone number but will not talk to me just send an occasional voice mail message (only 2) she has given me her address so I could send her some flowers on her B-day but she will not meet me.
She has mentioned that she only wants to be friends now but to wait and see if something develops later but whenever I go out with other women she gets really mad and jealous about it. I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time and she’s just stringing me along or if she’s just hesitant about getting into a long distance relationship since I live in MI and she lives in CT… so whatever advice u could give I would be thankful.

If the relationship (in whatever manifestation) isn't what you're looking for, then I say move on. It's obvious you want to see her and make the relationship go farther, but she doesn't want to be seen. That makes it difficult to further the relationship.

It's been a year already. You may be dead by the time she gets done waiting to see if something develops. If you are content being friends, then keep chatting. At this point I really wouldn't expect much more.

but she still uses a lot of terms of endearment like I luvs's u or sweetie or pumpkin that would make be believe otherwise ... but then again those could just be words... Thx

Just words man just words. For your own sake move on. If she's really sincere about how she feels about it she will have to react.
Life is too short to waste time on people who can't make up their mind.

No, sweetie, I don't want to meet you in person. I just want to be friends, pumpkin. I have to go now, but feel free to mail me some gifts! You have my address!! Luv u!!!

;)

LOL... yea that sounds about right... yea.... Goodpoint

I don’t think im going to completely stop talking to her... but i am just going to wean my self of and start looking a little closer to home for someone. But thx for the help...

Dude. If *any* girl starts tripping out about you dating someone, and you have never even met the girl that's tripping out, you should back away very slowly. Seriously. Especially if she claims she wants to ease into a relationship slowly.

Freaking out is a *very* bad signal in this situation.

There's plenty of fish in the sea, and I would recommend casting this one back.

Yea... she basicly gave me the cold sholder and had a tude when she did speek until i told her i stoped...and then she resumed with the i luv u and i wount wana do anything to upset that but i just wana wate and see how the chips fall as she put it. but how long does she expect me to wate

Sounds like you already know what to do and just need confirmation your instincts are right.

They're right.

Ok let's get something straight.

You're being had.

That's painfully obvious here.

You have a couple options, but either way, you wanna end it.

You can call her bluff and force a confession, or you can just break it off.

The bottom line is this: Nobody says honey, sweetie, sugarplum and backs away at the same time unless they've got a big something they don't want you to find out about.

How do you know that "she" isn't some 400 lb guy named Gus that lives three towns away? Just go out to a bar or wherever and meet some flesh and blood potential dates. It doesn't sound like much good can come of your present situation.

Crappy situation. You've gotta move on. If she keeps putting off the two of you meeting, what keeps you interested in her? She isn't being fair to you.

Just the typical things... we have stuff in common... crappie histories with the opposite sex ... can tolerate each others unique personalities ... typical stuff...

I know how this is... You're just going to get more hurt in the end. Honestly it's best to end contact with her. You're much more interested in her than she is in you it seems.

It's also possible she's married, and using you to make her husband jealous. Back slowly away and move on.

One of the people who helped me find my birth mom called me honey, sweetie, etc. They're just words.

Ooohh yeah. She's hiding something, for sure. She gave you her phone number, but won't call? Something is up....

Cut your losses and move on. It's not easy, but it's the best for you, loxor. Find a woman who wants to be with you.

Yea i know ... i just wanted to make sure I wasn’t just over reacting, and blowing something that could be awesome because I wasn’t patient enough. Thx to you all for the help :-)

Actions over Words...

You've been very patient. Good luck with all of it :)

You are wasting your time. Sorry to be blunt, but thats the troof :(

Leave. She's weird and non-committal, and you want commitment (although I'm not sure if you want a weird one or not...hehe). I say weird because that's what it sounds like.

Worse, she wants to keep control over you (via jealously when you see others) without having any personal contact with her...and from hundreds of miles away!

I don’t mind honesty and being blunt... I prob would be a lot better off if she had been.. and I don’t mind wearied, hell I’m not necessarily norm myself... I don’t really want a commandment per say just want to know what’s going on.

I still say it's a man, other wise "she" would at least talk to you on the phone. I mean you have "her" phone number already so why not? Also, I am more than willing to give you my address so you can send me gifts, too!

i think she's just being hesitant with the distance.
she's also thinking probably if she's wasting her tim too

Damn straight, never said better.

So how has the weaning gone? You've gotten the good advice, you've acknowledged it; how goes the putting it into effect? :)

Well I haven’t seen her online...but I’m hoping to just back away slowly (thx Johnny) to the point of no longer talking to her. I deleted all her e-mails we exchanged and removed her number from my cell sine it doesn’t do me any good... When I do see her online I’m just going to ask if she just wants to be FRIENDS and if she’s cool with that then I’m good... but if she says she just wants to wait and see ill just say good buy and leave it at that.