just dumped....
 

So i come back from a trip, we haven't seen each other in 2 or 2 and a half weeks, and nothing is the same. SHe doesn't seem happy, the flair is gone, she doesnt want to do anything *physical* the minute we see each other again, seems strangely distant, nothing close to the deep passion we had before i left. I got home on saturday. Wednesday she dumps me. I agree that it seems to be the best thing, since her heart obviously isn't in it. She says she wants to be close friends. I'm in high school, we both have the same friends, we were good friends before we went out, I'm hoping that we can still be friends, but part of me hates her. Absolutely hates her. I'll get angry before i go to bed, then when i wake up, I'm... gentle and no longer so pissed. It's everday, it's hard, and I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. This is my first breakup and my first real girlfriend.

it only gets harder from here. wait till there's real shit on the line. i would give anything to have the carefree"ness" of a high school relationship again.

*hands n1ck31 a beer*

It's gonna take some time, friend. We've all been there...

Re: just dumped....
 

I think I've identified the problem. Don't worry - there'll be other chicks.

It hurts, but it will get better. Hard to look at it this way but this is experience, and how you react to it makes you who you are. Feel bad for a while, then pick yourself up and keep going. Wish there was anything I could do/say to make it hurt less. Hang in there.

Hey, if it makes you feel better I went through the same thing back in 9th grade. Except I had clinical depression and went into a suicidal bout for about a year. It was the same scenario as the one you describe almost. It was this asian girl, and she went up to Toronto to visit some relatives. When she came back I did a couple things with her, but she didn't seem interested, and when I confronted her about it she broke me the news. I also wanted to be friends, but in this place I have to urge you to "give into the anger." Don't do anything mean to her, but don't try to be friends either. She doesn't deserve it, and you deserve better. Trying to keep any kind of relationship, even friendship, will only cause more pain at your age. Trust me on this. High school girls are just fickle. Girls as a whole don't tend to be quite as ambitious and bright as guys, so you really have to wait until at least college to find good ones. Anyways, good luck with getting over it.

The last thing you wanna do is hang out by yourself. It gives you too much time to think and that is time wasted when you could hang out with your friends.

It's gonna be hard going for a bit but it will pass. It always does. Just remember one thing, "she is not the last girl you'll be with."

you need to get laid, or if under 18 atleast have a heavy make out sesion

"Time heals all wounds" I know it sounds empty. It's something you can only look back on in, say, 5 years and agree with.

Same thing happened to me before, thought I'd never be over it. Surprisingly enough I was over it in about 2 weeks, then my friend brought it up again (I felt like kicking his ass after that) which set me back a few days, but I got over it again. So "time heals all wounds" is pretty much right. Just remember, there's other fish in the sea, or ocean or lake, or river...

:)

Post-high-school relationships are just sucky compared to high-school. At least in high-school I could get it 3+ times a day from my girlfriend.... oh the memories.

Reikes

Personal advice, don't be friends with her right now. Maybe at some point in the future, but for now and until you really, really have let her go, on being friends. Just push as much to the side as you can.

YEah thanks guys and gals, i think you're right- im gonna stay distant for a bit, but obviously, I'm going to need to stay on good speaking terms with her to not make inevitable encounters awkward. When i say we have the same friends, i mean its a group that hangs together all the time- so i will see her. But anyway, im feeling a lot better, have been out with friends a lot, and actually had a great birthday today. Did i mention its my birthday? she dumped me 2 days before my birthday. The bitch.

There are way too many women too worry about one! Unless you think she may be the one, then have fun and meet new people for now, and maybe later things will turn out for the better.

Just forget about the bitch and go out with someone else.

1st off, time does not heal all wounds.

2nd off, do not be friends, it will only hurt you more and more each time you see her.

i got dumped 2 weeks before out 3 year aniviversery and that was not cool at all. if you really loved her, enough that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, which in high school i doubt it, you will be hurting for a long time. if it was just a fling, then it will pass. and you will meet many other girls.

all i can say is good luck.

as you can see by my quote, i am still batteling depression. everyday all i think about is her. it has been 3 months and i still have HOPE, but i am an idiot. hope is the biggest let-down in the world. dont forget that.

Re: just dumped....
 

Solution: Fuck 10 other women

Solution for virgins: Find another girlfriend

Solution for me: Cut her off from your life and find another girlfriend.

Personally, I don't like being used as a FB (Fuck Buddy) after being dumped. It makes me feel like shit, despite how good sex is and all that. Much greater is the idea in my head to find another girl and start over from point A. L&L (Live and Learn)

I'm in practically the exact same situation as you there, Nick. (Well, for me, the dumping has not yet occured, yet seems imminent). My condolences...it sucks, but it's not the end of the world.

Give it a month, It will get better. Probably should take some time before trying to be friends with her. For what its worth I have tried really hard to be friends with my last two Xs and it just doesn't work out. Its not anything dramatic or emotional, you will probably just find that once your not in love with her anymore she's not that interesting a person.

On a side note, The thing that keeps you hurting the longest is the feeling that you *should* mourn the relationship. There is this feeling that if you don't your a bad person. Well, it's crap, getting over it doesn't invalidate what you had and it doesn't make you a bad person, it just means your strong and flexible.