if you could blow/suck yourself?
 

If you had no ribs or some kind of contortionist ability would you suck or give yourself oral (applies both to male and females)

i got the idea for the question when i was listening to some of bill hick's comedy/philosophy today.

transcript of hicks, talking about blowjobs....

"A woman one night yelled out, "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said, yeah. Almost broke my back. It's that one vertebrae, I swear to God, it's that close. I think that vertebrae is going to be the thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory and a fervent prayer. Yeah, now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's a devil-child." That may be true, but guys, yyyyyou know what I'm talking about. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight, guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

Boy, my folks are proud of me. "Bill honey, you still doing that suck your own cock bit?" Yeah, mom. "Good, baby, that's such a crowd-pleaser. How clever of you to come up with the suck your own cock bit, honey. You're so clever, it makes your mama's bosom swell with pride. Knowing her son is travelling the world, using his given surname, going up in front of rooms of total strangers and doing the suck your own cock piece." Thanks, mom. "No biggie."

~Bill Hicks



i myself, wouldn't be so quick to say, eyah definantly, i am just imagining myself bent over in that manner and it isn't appealing....
so i am still a little undecided atm. Though, in the meantime, i'd like to here everyone elses response :)

edit: also can anyone actually do it? and has done it?

Well, at least I know where it's been (though I'm guessing that's not always a good thing to know for some).
But, yeah, I think I'd have to give it a try at least once... after a nice long shower... and followed by an even longer shower. And, no, I wouldn't swallow....

Nah, it would be way too weird for me.

I would never - leave - my - room.

Hm. I'd probably give it a go.

It would be like tickling yourself though, wouldn't it?

The unemployment rate would skyrocket. I mean... who'd ever go to work?

My only problem with this poll is that there is only a choice for "yes" and not a "hellllll yes!"

LOL.

Amen to that lol

Hmph, no fair, this was my most successful thread ever...

I know this is possible cause a mate of mine (who is equally as perverted as me) sent me about 10 pics (which I lost in a format sorry) of guys and girls sucking/eating themselves.

The guys that can do it are the ones that way like 40kilo (80 pound?) and are like 6"6'. Tall and lanky. Females seem to be able to do it more (are they more flexible) with one pic of a girl giving herself a rim job!?!?


I'd give it a go, though I think that flavoured condom would be the way to go on this one.

Ooh, so if I lose 195 pounds, and shrink two inches, I can do it?

I still wouldn't.

If I had a fridge and a microwave in my room...then...I...would never have to leave!!

Hahahhaha. :D

I dunno. I guess I'd try it. Interesting concept.

A few years ago when I was 15, 110 pounds, tall and lanky, I managed to do it a few times. Its not that great, more pain and discomfort than anything. I did it for novelty at a party once but then didn't do it ever again. Tried it just now and I don't even come close.

If I actually managed it, it'd be the kind of thing I'd never mention to anyone, much less perform for others.

A guy I knew could do that. He actually did it in front of some people one night, and a polaroid was taken of the act.
I always said that I would definetly do it if I could, but once I saw that picture, it changed everything.
Now the true question is, would you spit or swallow? hahahaha.

no way! Thats feral...let someone else do it :P

I recently managed to give myself a blowjob (even took a pic of it). It's all about flexibility. But make sure to strech beforehand...

Okay, so I couldn't understand these people who put on the performances for others. Now I certainly don't understand these people who are taking pictures. Why leave evidence? At least you can always say somebody is lying. But if people have pictures, well, forget about running for president. I hope you people at least passed around a collection hat while doing this.

Well, I'm 32. The last time I tried it I was like 15. Maybe I took the picture to prove to myself that I'm still young ;-)

Like the old joke goes "why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can"! Of course I would. Anyone who says they wouldn't try is fibbin'.

Darn tootin' yankeefatboy. Everyone would try it at least once. I know I would. I definitely would NOT swallow. And I sure wouldn't take a picture of it!!

Men: B T W, giving yourself head is technically called autofellatio. See definition here: http://www.sexglossary.com/alphabet/a.shtml

My ex-boyfriend could do this and he wasn't that tall or that skinny. He was closer to 5'6" and about 170 lbs. or more (I never asked about his weight). It gave him extreme back pain when he did it, even if he stretched beforehand.

This could very well be urban legend, but I heard this from somewhere that was likely unreliable: rarely, guys will try to suck it on a chair or their bed and end up falling on their back. In the aftermath of the fall, they die either because of spinal damage or because they, uh, suffocated.

(Google) On a random side note, apparently the Egyptians even contemplated autofellatio: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acad.../ontology.html

All I can say is ick. Icky icky ick. :p

I had a friend who could get the tip in his mouth and suck himself off.

I only know this cause his wife told me and had a pic of him doing... now you wanna talk about some fuct up drinking conversation... he... the husband just turned red... he didn't care that she told me.

I don't think he made a practice of it. He was satisfied that he could do it but let his wife take care of it most of the time.

Oh and I just did a google image search with the safe filter off for "self suck" and lets just say I'm at work and I had to shut that window really fast... first five are some bendy fellows

No... it's cause they don't have thumbs

If I had tits and could give myself head I would never leave the house.


Not that I do anyway, but at least I would be getting some action.

Never tried, never will.

motdakasha, i think you're right about that being fairly unreliable. sounds kinda farfetched to me.

of course as a youngster i tried after hearing 2 guys i know say that they could aaaaaalmost reach if they did this weird position against a wall. couldnt do it though.

a good friend of mine says that some guy he knows can do it.. and easily. one thing that no one has mentioned is another ley factor. SIZE!!! for this it [b]does[b] matter. the guy is like 5'4" and not overly skinny, but he's hung like a horse. at some stag they passed a plate and he popped it out and stuck it in his mouth like nothing.. or so i heard.

sure, i'd lick my pussy if i could.

hell yeah! :D

I would...

I'm sure I'd try it every now and then, if I physicaly could. Wouldn't do try it more than once a year or so because: a) My wife and I are sexualy open with each other. Odds are that if I've got a yearning for a blowjob, I can recieve one from someone with a much prettier face than myself. b)angle and position are all wrong. Your tounge would be on top of your glans, which for me, isn't nearly as good as underneath. c)and preahps most importantly, I don't have the patience for it, I think.

lol fuck no.

If I was a girl, probably, but I would never give myself a damn blowjob.

it's about the same as masterbating.. only it's a different tech.. so ya i would! )

I think I'd give it a try if I could. Unfortunately, I'm not flexible at all...

There was a Saturday Night Live sketch about that once. Took place in a yoga class. Will Ferrell finally managed to blow himself after years of yoga, the rest of the class wanted him to teach them how too. Turns out he didn't stop for several years.

That being said, if I could get head whenever I wanted it... you're damn right I would.

No way i am gonna try that

Only concern i'd have is the populus of bums that would inhabit the streets with their new found love for the fetal position.

Haha, I can just imagine all of you walking around, butt-nekkid, hunched over like a neanderthal, trying like hell to stuff you dick in your mouth.

Funny picture.

And no, I don't think I would. It would be too easy to just wank it. Or maybe just get a real blow, from a real girl.

I can get the head in my mouth. Kind of hurts the back though.

Curious on whether or not you could do it? First find out if you can bend down and touch your toes without bending your knees...!

I'm not nearly flexible enough.

the ultimate in safe sex!

Same here, and my g/f knows it. She's glad I can't do that. ;)

I did it, when I was much younger and more flexible,...once. It hurt and certainly wasn't worth it.

The couple times I've tried have fucked up my back quite nicely.

I've actually missed work because of fucking up my back from trying to autosuck. I was able to get my mouth around the tip of my dick but that's as far as i could go. That was quite some time ago, and I'm no longer able to do it. Like someone else mentioned, the discomfort outweighs the pleasure. At least for those who've had the pleasure of having their dick sucked by someone else.

if i could do it myself i would never leave the house

I mean honestly, I probably would. Some guys I'm sure would never admit it, though.

I definetly would

Where's the "FUCK NO!" option? My mouth will never touch any dick, not even mine.

It wouldn't be the same as another person but i would still do it if possible.

actually, for anyone who legitimatly owns tool's album aenema (which should be by default anyway), on the cd itself is a guy sucking his own dick (or it could be a chick, but i don't it)
Theres also that animation thingy using the cover, for one of the pages in the booklet, and you can see it in motion :)

sorry i couldn't find a picture of the cover.

I tried it once and my neck has never recovered. a word of warning to all you would be's.

I don't think so, I'd be scarred for life.

I can't do it. Kinda wish I could though..

I would if I could but I definitely wouldn't swallow.

I can & I haven't

I see no reason for the discomfort of the position.
I'll find some kind lady to do it for me.

Besides, I've never really been into blowjobs anyway.
But that's just me.

Actually that's a saying a friend of mine had way back when.

"If I could get it in my mouth, I'd never leave the house".

interesting question...i probably would, but am not nearly as flexible as i used to be...

Now the true question is... Would you swallow?


I'm turn my head just at the right time so it got in my hair and ear... Just like I do to everyone else that goes down on me. :)

Hard to do if your dick bends downwards.

tried it. was sore for a day. tried again. sore for another day. haven't tried since, but i'm sure i will eventually.

If we could do it, we would, and not think twice about it. It would be in the same realm as masturbation, where you do it but don't really brag about it.

men, for you who say no, would you give anotehr man a handjob? no but you give yourself one all the time...
use the same logic

For those of you that answered yes, would you swallow? You might answer no, but if you think about it, after a while sucking your own dick you're probably going to try it sooner or later.

well its not about swallowing so much, every guy has had a chance to "taste" his own produce, in fact that is gonna inspire another thread.

and yes i jhave tasted mine, in respect for any girl who has swallowed me :D

If I remember correctly that's actually a lady, and she's a contortionist.

edit:
from the Tool FAQ (http://toolshed.down.net/faq/faq.html):
"As to the contortionist's gender, well, Alana Cain is credited for this in the liner notes, so there you go. "

Oh hell yeah baby!! Who needs a social life anyway??

@Mr Flux
cheers for the info :)

No way in hell.

whats this "if you could" shit?? ;) :D

Lol UnlikedOne :) ..

Not sure i can .. never realled tried it :)

I wouldn't leave my room either, Halx.

Could and did.

And I have the bad back to prove it.

ok rubbin one out is one thing..but suckin your own dick? not gonna happen, sure blow jobs are great..but half the pleasure is that someone else is doin it and you can just sit back, relax and enjoy.

I experimented with this back in the high school days. I could barely lick the tip of it. Then I started working and gained some weight and never really thought twice about self sucking again. Now that I'm married me and my wife have shared this idea with each other. She gets very turned on about the whole idea of me self sucking. So, I think it's time for me to lose some weight and start stretching everyday to get back into top form. This is gonna be *Loads* of fun when I finally perform the duty for her.

it's like someone said earlier, trying to tickle yourself..... it just doesn't do anything, believe me.

It's gotta beat the hand.

I have done this many times in the past. Its not all that you'd think it would be. Its just not confortable enough to fully enjoy it.

damn right I'd do it. Hell I'd do it every morning as a wake up thing and every night before going to bed.

Now thats just nasty. With that said, I'd do it in a second.

Its totally possible. It must be all in the stretching.

I wouldn't do it. It doesn't appeal to me. I would prefer going down on a girl and having her blow me.

i can do it. flexxxible.

this is a retorical poll yeah?

yeah i'd do it if i could.. not sure about swallowing though, probably try it once,

I'd probably just try it

This is quite amazing, didn't think that many people would...i just can't imagine putting my dick in my mouth...knowing where it's been and all...

ive tryed this before and i can lick my head, but i can only sumtimes get the whole head in my mouth but even when i do its too uncomfortable to give myself and orgasm....and i would swallow if i could...i mean hey why the hell not its already in ur mouth

|Guys| If you could, would you suck yourself?
 

Would you? :)

No. Never even considered it. It doesn't appeal to me at all.

ok this is embarrassing but when i was first starting out in my quest of sexual discovery(ok when i found out how to jerk it) i actually could do this(not flexible enough any more) and it's really more trouble than its worth. better to have a girl or hand there believe me.

I'd never leave the house.

Couldnt of said it better myself.

If i could, i'd do nothing else.

Didn't Marilyn Manson get some ribs removed so he could suck his own peter? Maybe that is just an urban legend.

Legend.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.htm

And, yes I would if I could. Who the hell wouldn't?

Probably not, I don't think blow jobs feel nearly as good as hand jobs (which I can do by myself). Really for me the only thing I like about getting a BJ is the visual.

Been there, done that.

:P

But nah, I wouldn't do it.

If I could...I would, in front of other people, to freak them out or something.

I don't expect to ever be able to, even if I do lose as much weight as I'd like.