Group/public sex fantasies
 

My wife and I have a very honest and sexual relationship - we are very much on the same page in terms of levels of desire and adventure. (We are "trisexual" - willing to try anything once.) In the last couple of years, we've confessed to each other fantasies related to having sex in the presence of others, or being in sexually charged situations with others. We've read about swinging and I kind of think we are not ready for that - I'm not sure we want to have sex WITH other people. But there is this concept of "monogamous group sex" which is intriguing to us. It is very much a turn on for us to talk about and fantasize about that kind of situation.

We've been to one resort where there was sexual activity happening around us and found that it lead to incredible sex between us.

We are in our fifties, fit and healthy, so would strike most people as younger. I mention age because we are not wild twenty somethings, but adults who are mature and professional. My question is this - have others experienced this kind of development in their erotic life? Thinking about moving to the next step as you evolve sexually? Has it happened? Been a good thing to explore?

Just because you go to a swing club doesn't mean you have to have sex with others or even have sex at all. You should check out the clubs in your area and/or maybe hop on a swingers forum and make friends and get recommendations for clubs.

Personally, I'm not a fan of group sex. But I do enjoy having an audience (when I'm with my partner), whether it's one person or twenty. Swing clubs provide an environment where you can watch, perform with your partner, or participate in a group.

Why don't you go, agree not to have sex with anyone other than yourselves (if at all), and then just watch and learn? Go home, digest, discuss. Repeat? Participate? Decide it isn't for you?

I think that is a good idea and something we'll try - maybe not in our own town, which doesn't seem to have much to offer in this department. We're going to be in Portland OR in a few weeks, and they seem to have more possibilities. In fact, it looks like a really sexy city, as does Seattle.

Go for it. Watching can be great fun and if your not jealous playing can be even more fun

I never knew Portland is a sexy city.... I am a total amateur but curious... next time I visit Portland got to try some starters

what resort did you guys go to? or is this just a swinger club?

Sea Mountain Inn in Desert Hot Springs, CA. I don't think it is a swinger's club - and I'll repeat we are not swingers. But it was really fun. Our very first time with such a thing. If you want to be naked and in the sun and in the pool and don't mind sexual things going on around you, in fact, if you might like that...I'd seriously consider checking it out. I think we'll go back, though it is far from our home.