Keeping it in the (adoptive) family
 

Good evening folks

so, an issue that has come up periodically in my life is this - as an adoptee, where is the line? We've talked about sex with second cousins, but what about sex with family members closer to the ol' family tree (legally but not biologically speaking)

Back in the day, when i was a wee horny teenager, I found more than one of my cousins extremely attractive. Now, these cousins have no biological relation to me, but still, they are my cousins.

I can't say that anything has ever come from this attraction (aside from a couple of oops-i-walked-in-on-you-changing moments), but if it had, how wrong would it have been?

To summarize, lets say this - I'm adopted into the family, i had sex with my cousin. and then my sister. Should I go to jail or marry her?

My first reaction was that because the cases you mention remove the concern about in-breeding, that it should be OK, and that I'd like to the law change to take account of such circumstances.

My second reaction was 'Hang on, there may be concerns beyond those of in-breeding.' I tried to do a spot analysis of family structure. The door would open to relations with children and parents, age of consent permitting. The marriage vows of faithfulness would apply, however there would be the times when one spouse was dead or divorced.

Then the question "Who, non-biologically-related, should be considered to be OK to be physically intimate with whom?" attends my first 'yes' reaction.

There is already a non-incest-related area in which there are guidelines concerning intimacy: the mental health profession. If you're a Plumber or a Lawyer, sex/romance with your client is OK. If you're a mental health worker, you are struck off the register. The code of conduct takes into account the nature of the 'duty of care' applying in the relationship. My understanding of 'family' includes notions of upbringing and mentoring.

OK, Raging Moderate, I'll clarify my response to your post in the following way: yes, but I wouldn't want it to be done on an ad hoc basis. I'd want to see a working-party set up to examine the issue with a view change the law with a bias toward 'yes' for [above age of consent] siblings and equal-level relatives - cousins, and to replace the old law with a legally binding code of conduct.

I'd also like to consider pressures it may put on those Siblings who, though legally adult, are living with their parents and therefore subject to to the "You're Living Under Our Roof" rule. I thought around that area for a while, with only limited satisfaction.

Best wishes

If you are adopted and your adoptive mom wants sexy time and you do to, then whats the problem? I know this isn't your situation, I was just goin to the root of that tree for my example. There is no blood, so no issue.

Look how well it worked out for Woody Allen.

Less snarky response: I can imagine the situation causing discomfort among other family members. Especially if the relationship ends badly; can't you just imagine Thanksgiving where you have to see your sister/ex-wife?

At least, if it didn't work out, they'd have something to fall back on.

Biologically you're green lit all the way.

Socially it's a very bad idea.

Huh, so there is something worse than fucking your boss.

What if you were adopted and you were 15 and your mom wants sexy time with you. Would it still be okay then?

States tend to ground their anti-incest laws on protection of minors. I tend to agree with that. Beyond that however, is up for grabs.

Adopted or biological - mom is mom - son is son
If you want to call some one your mom or son - then be it in words and spirit ...

---------- Post added at 09:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:39 AM ----------

OP, personally I "feel" sex/marriage with cousin of adopted family is ok
But mom/sis... is something I cant accept as ok.
This is just my personal opinion

This post brings to mind the Royal Tenenbaums:

quote:

It's probably illegal.
I don't think so.
We're not related by blood.
That's true.
Still frowned upon.
But then, what isn't these days, right?
I don't know, maybe it works.
Why not, what the hell.
You love each other.

My input is there is nothing wrong with it, but given that you are in a family structure there will most likely be social repercussions.

Do it.

Best policy is Hands Off. Blood relatives or not, you are family.

I've often wondered how parents with adpoted children, especially horny adolescents, would deal with this issue.