Lesbians who date men?
 

Well...

Dating site, some random girl checks me out, but doesn't message me, but I think she's cute and liked her profile. I just notice she lists herself as "gay" on the site.

I was really confused so I simply asked her why she was checking in to the straight guys.

we converse a bit.

we hit it off, she pretty much says she prefers girls but she's got a good feeling about me, too soon for me to state how I'm feeling about it since it's all in theoryland right now.

I told my friend about it and of course, all most of my friends have to say about dating seems fairly unhelpful or jesty. "Yeah man if you pull this off, your man card is getting upgraded to platinum"

yeah, all jokes aside, I have to say I'm really kind of nervous with this kind of polarity shift.


We're just at the stage where we've exchanged numbers and I don't foresee it being more than a week or 2 before it turns in to an actual meetup, so that nervousness I normally get is just kind of tripled by the whole fact that, well, I'm in a totally different race now.

I'm sure I'll get the "relax, just be yourself" advice, and I plan on it, but the whole situation is just so bizzare to me that I think i need some more input on how to get my head around it and stop overthinking it. o.o

You're over-thinking it.
She's open-minded enough to give it a shot. At least you'll know that if it doesn't work out, it likely has more to do with your gender than your personality.

I don't think there's much to think about. It's just unusual and will result in an 'interesting'. Every point wafting through my thoughts is related to lesbianism rather than the unique date. That's probably all it is. Don't think about it unless you find it interesting; just wait until it happens for the story it shows you.

If she's Bi don't worry about it.

There's a million different readings you can place on it, and any of them could be true till you meet the girl

I can only give the advice you already anticipated.

Perhaps she chose to say she was gay in order to prevent the lbajillion dick pics that she would get from guys, and allow her to choose what guys she wanted to talk to?

reading 1/1,000,000

could be true...

The way I see it, it's either:

1) What cj2112 suggested.
2) A lady who self-identifies as lesbian but is open to the occasional male encounter.
3) A serial killer who wants to wear your liver as a hat.

Standard online dating protocols apply here. Meet her in a public place -- going for coffee seems like a popular option. Take it from there.

Its like meeting any other person from a dating site, only this time it gives you something more to talk about.

People don't even tell the truth always when they meet people face to face and then begin dating. Why are internet dating sites any different?

Granted, you don't really want to feel like you're wasting your time taking people at face value if they're all lying. But getting ahead of yourself never did anyone any favors either.

All lesbians need is a good deep dickin'


Go for it.

I've had sex with two girls who identified themselves as lesbians. They like girls and are with women who they love deeply. As one of them put it, "Every once in a while I like a hard dick inside me that isn't plastic".

Also, I think cj2112 is right on the money. Plus, it puts you off your game (as it shows from your OP) and she as a better hand than you.

Dating sites ask you to choose from a small list of sexuality choices. Sexuality just can't be defined by clicking a box.

yeah, spose that is a correct assumption. Still, i had a slightly different perception of those who click on that particular box to describe themseves... mainly that they wouldn't be interested in me. I appear to be mistaken.

Well, see...there's this thing called 'friendship'. Maybe she thinks you're cool, and wants to hang out with you. Maybe she's bi-, or 'curious'. Maybe she's confused. Hard to tell without...talking to her. So do that.

Oh, and re-watch 'Chasing Amy'. ;-) The lesson is, 'people are complicated'.

Heh-heh... heh-heh-YEAH.

...

Yeah, many women select "Lesbian" as their sexual preference on dating sites to keep them out of searches and help them avoid douchebag men.

I see it like this: I like chocolate cake. I prefer chocolate cake. But, you know, marble is really good, too.
But I know how you feel. It's the same feeling I get when a straight woman tells me she is interested. I try to remember the above and roll with it.

Harumph. I'm one of those crusty old dudes that considers the current upswing of self-proclaimed "bisexuals" to largely be a fad going through today's high school / college girls. It's the pet rock of the 2000s. I can't count how many girls I met from dating sites that used it as a cue to their hidden "get laid from buying dinner" and/or "emotional issues galore!" trait. None of so-called bi girls I met on dates had ever actually snacked on any pussy. Lame.

You would all probably like to read and listen to Dan Savage's advice column/podcast.
Savage Love - Columns - Savage Love - Dan Savage - The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper

He addressed this issue before. There are lesbians out there who, every once in a while, want to fuck a guy. He's said many times that when he brings it up he always gets angry letters and calls from lesbians who insist that those girls should consider themselves bi, and more from lesbians who thought they were the only one who felt that way. I've known gay guys who have been with more girls than I probably will in my life, and they still consider themselves gay, not bi.

I wouldn't expect it to be anything long term, she probably wants some straight sex with a decent guy and went online instead of putting up with typical guys at a bar. Then again, maybe she's always liked girls but wants to try switching teams to make sure she's not missing out on something that most other people seem to enjoy. I doubt she'd be offended if you brought it up in a tactful way, and that's probably a good idea since one of the most important factors in starting a relationship is making sure you're both going into it with the same expectations.

You are my hero, dude.

I have two good friends who are in a lesbian relationship together. One of the women recently told me that she didn't start out in life as a lesbian, but she just never had a successful relationship with a man. She met her female S.O. and it clicked, so that's the way she went.
Maybe your gal is open to men but hasn't, up until now, made a connection.

---------- Post added at 12:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------

I had a lesbian tell me this exact same thing. I was her chosen "real cock" for the year. Lucky me!

The fact of the matter is that sexuality is a dynamic thing on a sliding scale.

At one end of the scale you have 100% Hetero and at the other end you have 100% homo. I do not believe that most of us are at one pole or the other, or right smack dab in the middle (bi sexual).

You may be predominately hetero, but you're not right on top of the dot. Ditto homosexual. In every straight person, there is some (of varying amounts) of homosexuality.

The lesbian in question is simply like a great many straight people. For the most part - she's a lesbian, but there is a part of her that is heterosexual.

It is not uncommon to find women who are outwardly heterosexual but who are open to or at least curious about sucking another woman's pussy. I've also known women who have only ever dated men suddenly hooking up with a woman and not only sleeping with her, but start dating her. (And I've also seen the same women (2 of them actually) ultimately go back to men.)

Vice versa, you can have a male who is outwardly 100 perecnt heterosexual, however, if in the right circumstance will allow a man to suck him or will suck another man. According to my gay male friends, you'd be surprised how many heterosexual men will under the right circumstances take their penis out and allow another man to suck them off. (Gay men truly love this by the way.)

So, I guess the point of my confusing post is that very few people are 100% straight or gay. Yes, they are out there, but they are not the majority.