HELP on new partner
 

Right ladies I'm in need of some advice.

I have arranged to skive off work with my collegue to go to his house to have sex tomorrow, and hes alot older. ALOT older.

(I know i know, I'm breaking every rule in the book here, but its on my own head and he is SO worth the consequences. So no telling me off :rolleyes:)

I'm not the most experienced person in the world, but he is. Yet he still says he is nervous and that i might have to make all the moves. We dont know each other that well and its deffinately just casual sex... how do i not make it awkward?
any casual sexers out there want to give me some advice? I really need these nerves to go away if im going to be any good!!! :surprised: heehee

Thanks
xxx

First of all, since you clarified one of the points in saying he is a male, I can speak for the rest of us when I say he is lying about being nervous! My recommendation to you is to relax as much as you can and go with the flow! If he has as much experience as you say, he will lead you. However, you need to be upfront about your wants, too. If he only does what he wants it could be as unsatisfying for him as it is for you. I always solicit and welcome feedback. I LOVE giving orgasms!!

Good luck!!

What?? Annapolis, are you saying that just because he's a man:confused: he couldn't be nervous? Even if not nervous about sex, he could be nervous about the "breaking every rule in the book." Or he could have some kind of performance anxiety. Or be nervous about the "alot older. ALOT older" age difference that xxx emphasizes so strongly. Or maybe it's not as "casual" for him as it is for kiss_kiss_kiss.:expressionless:

Lindy

Xxx, if you really want advice from women, this question would probably play better in the Ladies Lounge. BTW, I love your shorthand for kiss_kiss_kiss (xxx) and the multiple meanings it suggests!

Yes... guy's can be nervous regardless of age. Getting naked in front of someone, let alone having sex with them can introduce all sorts of nervousness.

The best way to get rid of the nerves is to start slow but start. Once things get rolling, the nerves will subside as he will have other things to occupy his mind.

OFCOURSE it's possible for a guy to be nervous especially with him being older, maybe he's worried you'll take one look at him naked and then just go "yeah I can do better" and walk out!

So I have done casual sex before (mainly FwB) my advice is just try to relax, don't put too much pressure on him or on you

If you're really nervous and shy start off with something simple - ask for a drink and when he comes back give him a little peck in thankyou, get accustomed to touching him and having him touch you, see if there is actually that physical chemistry there (sometimes you think there is and then you kiss them and it just fizzles - I had this happen once with a guy, he tasted like a drink I despise, not on purpose just his natural taste I couldn't bring myself to go any further cause every time we kissed I felt like retching!)

Stay down to earth - don't act as though it's the end of the world if this doesn't work out - the entire point of casual sex is to keep it casual. He changes his mind cool - go out for lunch instead. Act as though you could take or leave the sex bit.

On a side note there don't take things with you, yes I know women that would, you're there for sex and maybe a bit of communication, you're not moving in - PJ's, leaving a toothbrush / hairbrush there are all unacceptable.

OR

Try being the aggressor, when he opens the door just grab him and kiss it - it can be kindof fun and most guys love it when a girl does that. It shows that you want him which is perhaps the biggest aphrodisiac possible, knowing that someone else wants you. Plus being the predator can be kinda fun.

OR

Sit down and have 'the conversation' what you both expect for this, lay down your ground rules and whatyou both are comfortable with and then go from there. If you do this be UTTERLY honest. It won't end well otherwise.

I like the idea of having a drink first, particularly since this is your first time. I'm sure as colleagues you have some things to talk about. Moreover, it's always good to break the ice. Flirt a little, have some buildup. Hot. I've had some casual sex in my day, and it helps for me to have some sort of rapport with the person--I'm not a fan of strictly prurient relationships.

If that doesn't work for you, then I'm gonna second Hyacinthe's suggestion of just grab him and kiss him when he walks in the front door. In one of the few strictly prurient relationships I have had, that's pretty much how it went down. As soon as the door was shut, he was on me like white on rice. It was hot in its own right.

OOOH! arent you all just wonderful!

(so was he by the way, NO regrets!)

Thanks so much everyone, checked on here just before I went out, and felt 10x more confident when i got in that car... and it flew form there!:surprised: Thanks everyone :)

Love XXX

How big of an age difference are we talking about here?

I dont think I want to know.

Oh and I am confused... your profile says male. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So tell us. Are you male? How did you approach it and what sisyou do?

LOL! I am not male, that is very much my mistake hahaha!

A big age difference. But i like him :) and he makes me feel good, so it really dont matter much to me anymore haha :rolleyes:

xxx

First, stop thinking about rules. Second, he's probably nervous about fucking some hot young woman instead of being at work, so cut him some slack.

haha i think i just might love you!

Thanks
XXX