Why are people who aren't "on the hunt" for sex seen as being losers?
 

Sex feels good (well duh..lol) but so does seeing your favorite sports team win, or eating dessert. But no one really is seen as a loser for not doing these things. that to me doesn't seem like a good reason to be persistently "on the hunt", so to speak.

Is it because of our sexualized culture that makes people think this?

I don't see a passive search for a connection as anything to be ashamed of. I do it myself quite often. Actively searching out a sexual partner or a relationship isn't just exhausting, after a while one can lose his or her objectivity. That's a bad thing.

Does society think people who aren't on the hunt are losers? I dunno. I certainly don't.

I've been to clubs, there are plenty of losers who are actively trying to get laid. Ever heard of ladder theory? It's like the "Origin of the Species" for the loser trying to get laid set.

I imagine people who aren't trying to get laid are only considered losers by people who are trying to get laid, and I imagine that has more to do with rationalizing the price of Axe Body Spray than anything else.

ok. But it's something i sense anyhow.

Hahahaha... :lol:

Too be honest the ones that I would view as the "losers" would be those who sit at home all the time, never going out, never making any attempt to get to know anyone and then whine about not having a companion. I just want to slap those people upside the head and remind them that men/women generally don't randomly knock on doors searching for a date.

For those who are content to be alone, who are not looking for anyone, maybe wishing to take a break after a relationship. I don't see anything wrong with it. If you aren't looking fine, but those who bitch about being alone and do nothing but sit in pity.. that is a different story.

Mind you, I really do not care to title anyone with being a loser, labeling sucks. I feel that everyone has their own goals and it isn't really up to me to judge. It is more an annoyance to me than anything.

I believe that some people with low self-esteem compensate by constantly trying to get laid and convincing themselves that they're better than anyone who doesn't.

Well said :thumbsup:!

Bashing ladder theory and Axe in one post? I like the cut of your jib.

Well, when you can smell like b.o. and get laid without having to tell yourself that all women are bitches you say strange things.

I don't think that people are losers for not seeking out sex. Quite the opposite in fact.

Sure sex is fine and dandy but IMO there deeper elements to a relationship between two people.

What kind of people are in your peer group?

Just regular people I guess. Why do you ask?

Pretty much. This and filtherton's comments just about sum it up for me.

I have little respect for those who would just seek out sex and nothing more, and I certainly don't stay friends with people like that. So no, I don't see people who aren't "on the hunt" as losers, and I disagree that people at large see them as such.

Just wondering about the role that peer pressure plays in forming your perception that "non-sex-hunters are losers," because I think it's incorrect and that you would be getting a far different message around a different group of people (including TFP). Take a look at your social context and let us know what the average behavior and conversational topics are, from your buddies... then we can figure out where this idea is coming from.

are priests and nuns considered losers?

Only the kid touchers.

I kind of thought people trying to get laid were losers. If they weren't losers, they wouldn't have to try.

Ohhh, burn!

I used to work with an ex-nun. She was in her mid fifties when I met her. We were partner of such on several case. One day, after knowing her about a year, at lunch I asked "Mind if I ask why to left the church?" She calmly answered "I wanted to get laid."


Regarding the topic at hand. My current residence gives me the option to see lots of folks letting loose. People on vacation and cruise, IMO, behave differently then they do at home. One day while having lunch at my favorite bar in Playa del Carmen a my bartender friend over heard a guy trying to get a lady to go to his room. She said "but you're married." He said "but my wife and I have this special deal." My bar tender friend (female) asked me "Don't you have a special deal with your wife too?" I told her "Yeah, I don't fuck around and she doesn't cut off my balls while I'm sleeping." I'd been separated from my wife for at least 6mos and the bartender knew this, she was just baiting me. Normally I wouldn't have not taken the bait but his guys line of shit was getting pretty deep and honestly he struck me pretty creepy. He owned a yacht, a jet, his dad was the CEO of some F500 company. Oddly he was staying in $18 shit hole in Playa.

Because the people who are applying the label are shallow.

The people that spend all of their free time trying to get laid are losers.



They are the date rapists and sexual deviants. And I'm proud to be one of them.

If a friend of mine wanted to have sex a lot I don't see how that affects me personally. Everyone has their own take on things, what they feel is right for themselves. It isn't for me to judge, as long as no one has expectations in the relationship, why would it matter much? Personally anyone that has sex on the first date/first time meeting someone shouldn't be expecting much from a relationship at all. That is just my opinion though. If it doesn't affect me, and isn't hurting anyone, everyone is consenting etc.. why should it bother me?

Those who are on the hunt, so to speak, may hold the viewpoint that they're wolves amongst sheep. An inflated sense of superiority is what I would assume drives them to refer to others as losers. From their perspective, those who aren't fellow hunters are beneath them, on a lower level. Similar to how those with more wealth might look haughtily down upon people who are less fortunate, believing their lack of material wealth to stem from some manner of inferiority, either inability or laziness.