Pleasing a Mormon... Or: What the fuck have I (not) gotten myself into?
 

So, I've made it no secret really that I am currently in a relationship with a Mormon (I think I've mentioned it three times or something so... yeah...). Well, up until today we only really talked online, via cell phone, at the movies, or at school. Since I love movies so much, we never really did anything besides a quick kiss on the cheek and holding hands. Scandalous, I know.

Anyway, today after graduation rehearsal I took her to my house, where we watched Phantom of the Paradise. Long story short, we ended up on my bed making out, which was actually a tender moment because up to this point she didn't know how to kiss, and apparently her two past boyfriends had been rough because of this, so she thought kissing hurt (she's a little sheltered, in case you couldn't figure that out). So, being the genius I am and based on the million+ sappy movies I've seen, I explained to her how to kiss, we did, we went French briefly, she didn't care for it, and so here we are having a Mormon make-out session. In case you once again can't tell, that means I couldn't do much. Because of her faith, I can't ever have sex with her, as it's simply a no-no. Luckily, I don't really care about sex, so that's alright.

The problem lies in my lack of things to do. I've narrowed it down to caressing her sides, back, and thighs (no touching of the upper region just yet), and kissing her neck, upper chest, lips, and behind her ears. I'm also able to hold her very close and intertwine legs, which is very comfortable. That's really it though, and being that I don't want to bore her or myself, I'm really anxious to add other things to the mix. Obviously, when she becomes more comfortable I should be able to touch wherever, which will make things a lot easier not having to maneuver strategically about.

So, Mormon girl, my cock can't come into play in any significant fashion, and she's sheltered. I love her, and don't really need anything other than her presence, but I would like to try new things eventually (no rush, really). I'm curious if any of the more experienced, skilled members know of any way to pleasure a girl in a conservative manner, if'n you catch my drift.

Patience is pleasure.

Touché.

Is it weird that I am more curious about how you "love" her after only talking on the phone, emailng etc.? Lots of people have relationships with people who do not wish to have sex before marriage. I have heard a few stories about this type of relationships and they run the gamut. Some girls give fierce blowjobs instead of sex, while others spoke about significant "denial" coming into play in the form of acting stupid ("Oh, I didn't know that my knee was between your legs an rubbing your vagina, well isn't that the darndest thing..."). Guess this plausible deniability got around the guilt and shame...

I've known her personally for a while, we just haven't been able to hang out much until now. I saw her every day after 1st and 2nd period before school ended, and we've been in plays together. I'd say I've known her for about two, two and a half years now.

I actually have managed the knee rubbing, but I was paying more attention at being adequately sensual with the whole neck thing. It was somewhat difficult not getting too repetitive.

Ah, the art of the Mormon girl. I'm from Utah. I've played this game.

First off, in my experience these girls are very sheltered and repressed. Because of this, if you place an open minded, more sexually liberal individual into a position of influence they tend to rebel against the morals that have been pushed upon them their whole lives. They "crack easily", if you will, and when they do they go all out. Some of my kinkiest, freakiest experiences have been with repressed Mormon girls that told me no sex until marriage.

.....But, evidently, this is not what you want. You want to keep to her conservative morals. In that case, you need to be very creative. Remember that scene in 40 days and 40 nights (I believe that's the proper title of that movie.) where they used that flower or feather or whatever it was, and he gave her an orgasm without ever putting his cock, or anything else, near her vagina? That kind of creative.

Or you could marry her...... :lol:

Best of luck to you fellow Mormon chaser.

I asked an extremely hot girl out on a date when I was 19, she said she was mormon, I didn't really get it then.... but I do now.

I'm confused on what this thread's really about since I don't think you'd brag about your Mormon girlfriend, RG, so I'll just say "congratulations" and "way to be a nice guy" and wait for this to develop into something to discuss.

i think RG's trying to ask to what extent can he push the limits of sexual intimacy without infringing on her religious beliefs...

i guess the ball is in her court (excuse the pun). if she wants to she can move the goalposts. depends on how long shes sees herself being with you.

but like others have said..its the quiet ones u gotta look out for

But Retro said he's not that interested in sex, so I'm also confused. What is the question, exactly?

Oral is moral?

Of course he is. He just doesn't want to seem pushy.

Oh man I SO nearly went there!

this

edited for more content: I'd say don't try to "game" her morals by crafting clever loophole workarounds. I'm not sure what you're asking, but if you are asking "what other intimate things can I do without going further round the bases?", well...not much. Foot massage?

Yeah... this is why I asked. I'm used to much more freedom, which I suppose has corroded my imagination. I simply can't think of much to do, at least until I'm a little more free to explore, and even that will be restricted.

This whole thing's a lot of silly trouble actually. She doesn't even watch R-rated movies, nor can she do anything too work-oriented on Sundays. I had tickets for a ZZ Top concert and have to give hers to someone else, because their music is too hard to listen to on a Sunday (though that was actually a parental decision)... Oh damn, I think I'm ranting.

Nice. Before you know it, she'll be showing her ankles.

Wait, does this gal live with her parents? That has a huge impact on things in a Mormon family. She'll have to ask them for permission for anything, and her parents probably don't like you at all because you're not a good Mormon boy (unless you act like you're interested in the Church, in which case they would love to invite you over for dinner and to talk about their religion).

It's going to come down to yours and her willingness. If she's devout to her family and religion then you're going to have to live without sex until marriage (she might open up to oral, or anal down the road, but don't count on it), or after moving out of her parent's home she'll venture into an exploratory phase where almost anything is possible. What it comes down to, is do you need sexual interaction for the relationship to work? If so, stop now, and find a girl who's willing to do this. If not, then instead of thinking about what you're limited to "caressing, simple kissing" and what you can't do, think about what you can "how can I spend time with this girl without sitting in the car wishing she's just stroke my dick already?".

kurty is pretty much right on the money.

Yes, we're both 18 and fresh out of high school, so we both live with parents. As for her family, her mother loves me (I'm her favorite actor, apparently), and I have yet to meet her father. They're very trusting though, they think I'm a good guy and probably think I'm at least a Christian (they're half right) and they let her come over to my house without having to talk to parents. It's really not so much that they're strict as much as they follow the basic rules of being Mormon, which include the usual Christian outlook on sex, and then the lack of activity on Sunday, etc.

I think I may have explained myself incorrectly before. Sex isn't a big deal to me, but I'd like to be as sensual as possible when we're alone and all over each other. So no, I don't need sexual interaction for it to work. There are simply times when we are not doing a myriad of other things where we just lay down to take ten to twenty minutes to be close, and I'd like to not have those times become too repetitive.

18?! Don't need sex?!

You are either wise beyond your years or a liar, methinks!

well, enjoy the celibacy until you marry her :thumbsup:

When has Phantom of the Paradise not lead to making out? Never, that's when.

BTW, you might try role playing. That often allows people a unique opportunity to let go of sexual repression. Also, let her take the lead.

I wasn't having sex at 18 by my own choice. But when I finally met a girl I wanted to have sex with (I was 21) we screwed like rabbits, up to 5 times a day!

He doesn't want sex now, but give him a few months with her and he will change his mind.

Just cuddle her for now, and do the knee rubbing her crotch thing. If she likes it she might try for more.

Good Lord, this thread is giving me some flashbacks to high school.

I'm not Mormon, but I might as well had been while growing up. KurtyB has it right obn the money...good luck.

Hold on. Wasted, immoral, and devoid of values? At what point did Retro say anything that leads to these ludicrous assumptions? The way I understood it, he's not asking for advice on how to get this girl to have sex with him. He's asking how to keep things exciting without corrupting her morals.

Very noble of him,if you ask me. Hardly warrants those kind of insults.

pfft. that post by th12 has no merit whatsoever.

I actually have to modify my statement. The danger in saving sex until marriage is that sometimes you get married just for the sex. The three Mormon girls I dated/fooled around with were all younger than 21, had all gotten married young, and were already seperated from their husbands after a year or so.

Firstly, to TH12, if you're my father, please say so now.

Secondly, I would like to follow up (since I think I've gotten as much advice as I'm going to get) with how my day went. 'Twas enlightening. Firstly, I made out in a public park for the first time, and in doing so I discovered that while I won't be (likely) having sex... ever... I do think she is going to open up quite a bit to me. Just the other day it was so infantile that I couldn't touch her breasts and now it's perfectly fine and she enjoys it quite a bit, and it seems the only place I'm not allowed to touch (though I am allowed very close to) is her crotch. I think of this as a minor achievement, as it tears down another barrier that would otherwise get in my way (which is a waste of talent, if I do say so myself).

So, now things are getting better. She's started showing more affection toward me and has loosened up enough. We're going to spend the entirety of Monday together, so I think I'll experiment with various methods then. She sort of hinted that she'd do anything except have sex, which opens up a world I feel at home in.

I also met her family, and they loved me. They even said they'd take on my offer to cook for them one day. Very nice, fun Mormon family. Goodness, I might be becoming a little less intolerant... that's embarrassing.

sounds like you´re on your way.

nice work :thumbsup:

Ahhhh... Mormons.

I tried seducing a Mormon once. We used to have phone sex all the time. We ALMOST had sex. I think that's what made it fun for me... the challenge of trying to seduce him.

Then he told me he wanted to fly out to Vegas and get married so we could have sex. I didn't talk to him after that. (;



It's good that you're not pushing her. Sounds like she's getting comfortable with you on her own. (:

Yeah, you want to employ the same strategy you use with a playful puppy.

Puppies love to dance around just out of arm's reach. And when you reach for them they skitter away from you. It's a great game for them. But if you just sit quietly, before long the puppy will crawl up into your lap.

Make the puppy come to you, my friend.

But remember, being a nice guy is good; being a Nice Guy is not.

You really love that puppy metaphor, don't you?

Learn to give a good massage. You've got a willing partner.

So true.

If things work their way into the "we do nothing friend zone", just jerk off in her hair. Instant reset button.

Aw, it's been years since I used the puppy metaphor!

I'm not sure that it has been... I remember you using it sometime last year. :) (Btw, the puppy metaphor definitely would never have worked for the guy dating me in college, who barely got past French kissing in a full 12 months of puritanical dating... yes, I chose to let the relationship end instead of letting him progress through any layers of clothing, believe it or not.)

Fair enough.

Trust this Utah boy--the puppy metaphor is APT with Mormon girls. They WANT to rebel. They just have to think it's their idea.

I just laughed my ass off. Puppy metaphor = best ever.


As for Retro...I was friends with some Mormons, but never dated any...hmmmm...

Not quite as "sexual," but when making out, I absolutely love when my hair gets played with. And kisses on the neck = total hotness.

Yeah, I noticed the neck thing. She goes crazy and dry humps my leg like nobody's business. I tried using my hand down there when she did it, and she really enjoyed it, but then she got embarrassed and said she shouldn't be doing that. But then, she also said that Mormon girls shouldn't make out with guys for six hours whilst in said boy's bed, but hey.

Ok, I'm going to say that if you care enough to post on an internet chat board and respond with details about what you're doing. Then I would guess that this (sex or lack there of) will become an issue at some point. I would just suggest that you really take stock in how you feel about not being intimate at all. At 18 I know it wasn't something I would have been ok with looking back.